#9 ~ The Snapes in the Family Way or Oh Baby!

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 4 ~ What Love Makes One Do

“Welcome mummies and daddies to be! My name is Gladys Mumsworth, and I will be your instructor for the next twelve classes,” said a bright, bubbly woman of about thirty-five years of age with bright blue eyes and matching blue hair. It was obvious that she had bore a few children. She was plump and pleasant, and had a motherly mien about her as she stood in the front of the room, addressing the group of couples seated in neat rows. As she went over her qualifications, Severus was having second thoughts about this.

“Twelve classes? Good gods, I thought this was a one-shot,” Severus thought as he sat in the small, mostly pink and blue room with fourteen other expectant couples. He was completely uncomfortable, seated on the metal fold-up chair next to his wife, who was staring at Miss Mumsworth in rapt attention. The coldness of the metal was seeping through his robes and silk boxers and chilling his balls. Severus scooted uncomfortably and looked around. The other fathers looked fine. They were probably used to sitting in small, folding ball-chilling metal chairs. He made a note to himself to wear his winter boxers at their next visit.

He blamed his presence here on the receptionist at Dr. Digmon’s office, who stopped Hermione on the way out of the office and handed her a flyer offering private birthing instruction. Hermione quickly inhaled the information and insisted they enroll. Since he had promised to be supportive, Severus found himself surrounded by women in their third trimester, and various states of roundness. They were accompanied by husbands, boyfriends, relatives and in one case, a female life partner. Hermione had to explain the last couple to him. He simply arched his eyebrow and the strangeness of the muggle world was once again cemented in his mind.

“In this class you\'ll learn and practice relaxation, visualization, breathing techniques, and comfort measures, as well as learn everything you always wanted to know about labor. Except how it feels!” Miss Mumsworth said, obviously expecting to receive a chuckle from the class. She didn’t. She cleared her throat and continued.

“There will also be an informative birthing film, and role-play in which your coaches will experience what it feels like to be pregnant for twenty-four hours,” she said gleefully, “it will be a heavy experience, I promise you!”

“Oh, this sounds wonderful!” Hermione breathed into Severus’ ear excitedly, “You’re going to learn SO much, Severus.”

Severus scowled a bit. He liked role-play, particularly his and Hermione’s kind of stimulating games. But this sounded a bit ominous. And what was a birthing film?

“Now we will stand and introduce ourselves to our fellow preggies,” Miss Mumsworth said with irritating brightness. Severus scowled. When he first entered the class with his wife, he was the subject of many curious stares. Of course, his innate snarkiness came to the fore and he glared around until all eyes shifted uncomfortably away. He was not about to hide his proud heritage as a wizard any more than necessary, and wore his robes as a statement of this fact.

He watched as couple after bubbly couple rose and introduced themselves. Finally, it was his and Hermione’s turn. He faltered, and Hermione gave him a discreet elbow to the ribs, and he rose to his full, imposing height, helping her to her feet.

“My name is Professor Severus Snape, and this is my wife, Lady Snape,” he said shortly, sitting down quickly. He wasn’t about to offer any unnecessary information like the others. There were low murmurs.

“They’re royalty,” said one woman, looking at Severus with awe in her round brown eyes. He sighed. This was going to be a long twelve weeks.

The first couple of lessons were basically informative. They learned about the mechanics of normal labor, birth, and the early postpartum period. Severus was particularly intrigued by the theory that at five months, the child in the womb begins to remember the sounds of the people it hears every day, and the claim that if he spoke to the child, beginning around the fifth month, the child would recognize his voice upon birth and that this would calm the child after birth. He began to have dialogues with the baby in bed at night, telling it about his family history, how much he loved it and of course, potion ingredients and their uses. Hermione would patiently lay there, belly exposed, gently caressing her husband’s hair as he conversated with their unborn child, propped up on his elbow.

The birthing film left Severus pale, trembling and white knuckled. There was so much pain and blood. And gods, the screaming. When he closed his eyes, the sounds reminded him of the dark revels Lord Voldemort presided over. Many husbands bailed on the film, choosing to wait outside and have a smoke, to the trepidation of their mates. Severus knew Hermione would never have forgiven him, so he sat there stoic, his stomach churning and watched the film.

When the lights came on, Hermione turned to him with shining eyes and said, “Severus, wasn’t that just…beautiful?”

The Potions Master shifted a red-rimmed eye towards her. Hermione was so caught up in the emotion of witnessing such a miraculous event that she didn’t notice her husband’s discomfort.

“Lovely,” Severus said hoarsely as Hermione gripped his arm affectionately. Severus’ eyes dropped to his wife’s prominent belly, realizing that her ‘birth canal’ would have to painfully stretch to an amazing size to accommodate their child’s entry into the world. He marveled at what she was willing to go through to bear his child. The renaming of her pussy was something that struck Severus as funny, however. He actually whispered it to Hermione one night during a bout of careful sex.

“Hermione, your birth canal feels so good,” he said hotly over her shoulder, smirking a little, unable to resist using the term.

Hermione had pushed him off her, and it took Severus a little while to persuade her to let him continue making love to her.

The next lesson taught the use of massage to relax the mother in labor. Severus was already adept at this. Hermione sat on the floor, Severus behind her, robes spread in an arc behind them, working his long pale fingers over her neck and shoulders with such obvious skill and sensuality, that many of the other women were watching him rather heatedly, to the dismay of their husbands and boyfriends.

“Do it to me like he’s doing her!” said one well-rounded woman to her husband, who was kneading her neck like hard dough, as she pointed at Severus. The Potions Master smirked as Hermione sighed in delight and lolled her head back, oblivious to the comments being made about them.

“I can see why she’s pregnant,” whispered another red-haired woman, to another woman on the left of her. “Those hands.”

“He used more than his hands,” the other woman whispered back. Then they both fell into near hysterical giggles.

Severus shook his head and continued massaging his wife.

Next they practiced visualization and breathing techniques. Being a witch and a Spells Mistress, Hermione was quite experienced in visualization. The ability was necessary in order to initially create and cast new spells. In this case, imagining smooth lakes, soothing scenery or any other image that was calming was the focus, the theory being she could use this as a vehicle to remove her mind from the pain of labor. When it came to the breathing techniques, Severus felt like he was surrounded by a school of beached whales, each desperately spouting and blowing. Still, he participated…anything that could make Hermione’s labor easier was worth learning. Miss Mumsworth came over to coach him in the technique, placing her hand on his shoulder, panting and huffing inches from his face. For Hermione’s sake, he stomached it.

Severus’ real test of strength came during the role-play part of the class. They arrived to find a pile of what looked like gutted corpses lying on a table at the front of the room. They were pregnant suits, big breasted, big bellied and weighing more than fifty pounds apiece.

Each coach was instructed to sign for a suit and strap it on. They were to take it home and wear it for a twenty-four hour period so they could experience what a pregnant woman felt like carrying the extra weight. Severus’ face went instantly black.

“Severus! You promised to be supportive. You can handle this,” Hermione said, pushing him toward the table, hiding her grin, “If you start wearing it tonight, then you can be finished with it by tomorrow evening. It’s Friday so you won’t have to see anyone tomorrow. You can hide out in the rooms or your lab.”

Severus signed for the suit, removed his robes and allowed Hermione to help him strap the monstrosity on. Immediately he felt off-balance. He put his robes back on over the suit. He looked hilariously and Hermione was instantly reduced to tears when her eyes swept over her tall, lean and very pregnant husband. Her laughter was echoed by the other women in the class as the husbands struggled to lower themselves back into their seats.

Severus was hot and uncomfortable. When they apparated back to Hogwarts and had to walk across the grounds, his back started hurting him. Both he and Hermione rolled across the landscape, hands pressed to the small of their backs. Severus was puffing by the time they reached the secret entrance to the dungeons. There was no way he was going to enter the main hall. Unfortunately, Albus was waiting outside the Potions office door. He took a long look at Severus from over his half-moon glasses, his eyes sweeping over his extruding belly and breasts, obvious even beneath his robes.

His blue eyes twinkling, Albus asked, “Potion go wrong, Severus?”

Hermione bit her lip, trying her best not to dissolve in laughter. Severus scowled, though the effect was not quite as daunting with his belly and breasts sticking out to here.

“No, Headmaster,” he said through clenched teeth, “I am wearing a pregnant suit. Another muggle torture created to punish expectant fathers.”

“I see,” said Albus, smiling broadly, ”Well, you look absolutely radiant.”

Hermione rushed into the Potions office, holding her mouth. Pulling out the book that opened the door to the study, she trundled through, hurrying to the bedroom as fast as she could manage. Escaping Severus did no good. The sound of her hysterical laughter still reached the corridor. Severus rolled his eyes and tried to ignore it. He looked at the Headmaster.

“Is there a particular reason you are here, Headmaster?” he asked a little curtly. His back was aching and he wanted to get off his feet.

“I just wandered down to see how you and Hermione were doing,” the Headmaster replied, his blue eyes sweeping over Severus again. “It seems that you are both handling pregnancy just fine. I have to admit, my boy, you are doing a wonderful job supporting your wife. I’m proud of you.”

Severus nodded his head, not wanting to show how moved he was by the Headmaster’s praise.

“Hermione has given me a great gift, Headmaster. I could do no less,” he replied.

The Headmaster looked at him. “I am so glad that you have found happiness, Severus,” he said sincerely.

“I found Hermione,” the Potions Master replied.

The Headmaster nodded. “Yes, a treasure greater than any other,” he said in a low thoughtful voice. Then he brightened. “Well, Severus…you look like you could use a rest, my boy. I’ll just say goodnight.” He turned to go.

“Good night, Headmaster,” Severus said. Albus departed, shaking his head.

“Severus in a pregnant suit. Amazing,” he said, laughing.

Severus slumped against the wall, then made his way through the office and his study to the bedroom. Hermione had recovered, though her face was still red. She was already in bed, the covers pulled up over her round belly. Severus tried to sit on the bed, lowering himself like an old man, and fell back, rolling to the side. Hermione cracked up again.

“This is horrible,” Severus said.

“Yeah, it can get pretty bad at times. Just be glad you can take yours off anytime you want. I have to wait nine months.”

Severus unbuttoned his robes and wriggled out of them with some difficulty, his belly affecting his balance. He looked over his shoulder at Hermione.

“Please help me out of this thing so I can come to bed,” he said.

Hermione unfastened the buckles and Severus pulled the pregnant suit off. He then stripped down to his boxers and started to climb into bed. Hermione pushed herself up to a sitting position with difficulty.

“Uh uh, Severus. You have to wear the suit to bed. Twenty-four hours, remember?”

The Potions Master scowled at his wife.

“But Hermione, how do you expect me to sleep in that…that thing?” he said, knowing he was already defeated.

“The same way I do. Uncomfortably,” she replied, crossing her arms over her full breast.

Sighing, Severus shrugged the suit back on and allowed her to strap him in again. He rolled into bed, the weight of the suit pressing down on him. He turned from one side to the other, trying to get comfortable. He tried to lie on his stomach. It didn’t work. Finally he lay flat on his back. He pressed the front of the suit down, trying to redistribute its weight. It did no good. He gave up.

The couple lay there in silence for a while.

Then Hermione said, “Severus, you want to do it?” She was grinning devilishly, “I’m horny.”

Severus rolled toward her with an effort, his face incredulous.

“And how do you suggest we do that? With this belly I couldn’t even reach you, much less fuck you. Plus, it’s too heavy and…” Severus stopped, realizing Hermione’s shoulders were shaking. She was laughing at him. He sighed and rolled back to his back.

“You’re not funny Lady Snape,” he said, looking up at the ceiling.

Hermione gasped, trying to catch her breath. She scooted over with some effort and kissed him on the cheek. Severus turned his head and looked at her.

“How do you take this, Hermione? I’ve worn this suit less than four hours and I am miserable. I don’t understand how you even want me to touch you when pregnancy feels like this. You are going through so much for me and my child,” he said softly, taking her hand and kissing it.

“I take it Severus, because I love you and I love our child. It isn’t a chore. And I want you to touch me, because I love and need you, no matter how pregnancy feels,” she replied, kissing his hand in return. They slid closer to each other, their rotund bodies making it next to impossible to embrace.

“I love you, Hermione,” Severus said, closing his eyes.

“I know you do. You have to.” Hermione replied, “The gods themselves couldn’t have gotten you into that suit otherwise.”

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Madame Pomfrey returned with the steaming water, towels and gloves, and set them on the cot next to Hermione’s. Dr. Digmon was listening intently to Hermione’s belly with his stethoscope, as Severus anxiously watched him. He had moved to the bed and was sitting behind Hermione, letting her lean on him as he massaged her shoulders gently.

“The baby has a good, strong heartbeat,” the doctor reported, sitting back and taking the stethoscope out of his ears. He turned to Madam Pomfrey.

“Would you like to hear, Madam?” he asked the medi-witch.

“Yes, yes I would, doctor,” she replied. Dr. Digmon stood and walked over to Madam Pomfrey. He took her hand and led her to the chair he occupied, then removed his stethoscope and placed it around her neck, putting the earpieces in her ears. He put the amplifier in her hand, and guided her to Hermione’s belly, placing it on her skin where he heard the baby’s heart. Pomfrey’s eyes narrowed as she listened intently…then her eyes widened.

“I hear it!” she exclaimed, “How wonderful! And yes it is very strong.”

Dr. Digmon pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and took a pair to Pomfrey. She rose from the chair, and he replaced her, handing her the gloves. Pomfrey pulled them on.

“Now we have to see how far Lady Snape is dilated. It will let us know how far along she is, and approximately how long before she delivers.” He said by way of explanation.

He inserted two fingers inside Hermione, and pressed down on her belly. She was hit by another contraction and cried out loudly. Severus coached her through it, massaging her shoulders.

“It won’t be much longer, love,” he said, kissing her temple as she fell back against him, panting.

Dr. Digmon had an intense look of concentration as he pushed his fingers into the witch. Pomfrey watched him, somewhat appalled at what she was witnessing, but saying nothing. Finally the doctor withdrew his fingers.

“Her cervix is dilated about six centimeters. It won’t be long until she delivers,” he said rising from the chair and indicating to Pomfrey to sit down. The medi-witch hesitated.

“I really don’t think…” she began.

“Madam Pomfrey, you serve in the capacity of a doctor here. I imagine you use…magic to do most of your work. You need to know about this, in case you ever have to deliver a baby and not have magic available. For the sake of your work, Madam, please sit down,” Dr. Digmon said, looking at the medi-witch kindly.

Pomfrey sat.

“Now, insert two fingers into the birth canal, as high as you can and press on Lady Snape’s belly until you can touch her cervix. It should feel like a spongy donut. The hole is where the baby will pass through. Touch it with your fingers and try to approximate the diameter,” he said gently. Pomfrey did as he said. Her eyes went wide.

“Yes, I can feel it…and six centimeters seems about right, doctor,” she replied, her face full of wonder. This was a very intimate act, but the information it provided was quite important. She smiled at her new knowledge and withdrew her fingers from Hermione.

“We can expect active labor when she reaches nine or ten centimeters. That may take another two or three hours.”

The doctor looked at Severus.

“There’s nothing to do but wait now. Help your wife through her contractions as best you can. I would like to talk to Pomfrey concerning how delivery is done in the magical world,’ he said, removing his gloves. Pomfrey, still a bit dazed from her new experience, rose from the chair, removing her gloves as well. The doctor offered her his arm, which she took and together they walked through the privacy curtain, headed for Pomfrey’s office.

Severus shook his head as he watched them go.

“Your muggle doctor is certainly an interesting man,” he said to Hermione, caressing her hair gently.

“Yes,” she gasped, “Interesting and skilled at his work. That’s why he’s delivering our child, Severus.”

She let out another cry. Severus did his best to soothe her through the pain, whispering to her to visualize her calm place, and rubbing her shoulders while she panted, sweat streaming down her brow. She fell back against him, and he held her.

“It won’t be long now, my love,” he whispered against her temple.

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A/N: Severus is standing by his wife. He’s a good man, isn’t he? Picturing him in a pregnant suit in front of Albus tickled me to death. Had to write it. Please review.

JW: Hermione hasn’t had the baby yet. Whether or not her actual delivery will be easy remains to be seen. :::g:::