What Might Be Done

Chapter 5: Wave of Revelation 2511 words
In which Harry discovers he is the object

A melancholy wave of revelation
Broke over Merlin like a rising sea,
Long viewed unwillingly and long denied.
He saw what he had seen, but would not feel,
Till now the bitterness of what he felt
Was in his throat, and all the coldness of it
Was on him and around him like a flood
- Edward Arlington Robinson: Merlin

“He’s acting weird.” Harry said earnestly.

“It’s Snape,” Ron responded.

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Harry, it’s Snape. When did anything he ever do make any sense.”

“Yeah, but Ron, ten points in two months? Ten points? He used to never take less than ten at a go. In the same period of time last year, I must’ve lost 100 points, just because of him.”

“Perhaps its because we’re older and he no longer thinks it’s necessary.” Hermione sensibly supplied.

“Hermione. It’s Snape.”

“Oh Ron,” Hermione said, “if you can’t contribute anything else to the conversation, perhaps you should go to the kitchen and get us some food. I’m starving.”

“Just means more work for the poor ickle house elves.”

“Don’t be a prat. Ask Dobby or Winky. They at least get paid.”

“What if they’re sleeping.”

“Ron. Food. I want to talk to Harry. Alone.”

Ron’s eyes widened. “Why? What can’t I hear?”

“I can’t tell you that, can I? If I did, you’d know. Just go get the food.”

Harry winked at Ron. “Don’t worry, mate. I’ll take good care of her.”

“Ach. The hell with the pair of you. I’ll be right back and I better not find you two snogging when I return.”

Harry made a face, clutched his throat and made a gagging sound, collapsing into giggles when Hermione slapped his arm.

“She’s not that bad, Harry. Quite nice once you get used to it. You might want to have her tie her hair back, though.” Ron stuck his tongue out several times, acting as if he was trying to expel something from his mouth.

“Honestly. You two. Perhaps I should just go look up Malfoy or Zabini.”

“Oh now, there’s a good idea. You’ll have to pry them apart from each other first.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Why,” Harry asked quietly, “because they’re both boys?”

“No, idiot. Because its Malfoy and Zabini. Oh dear. I think I’ve managed to make myself ill.” Hermione laughed and then glared at Ron. “Are you still here?”

“I’m just going, dear.” Ron managed to sound remarkably like his father. Hermione threw a pillow at his retreating back and then collapsed against Harry, giggling madly.

“So why did you want to talk to me alone?”

“Harry,” Hermione began slowly, “has it ever occurred to you that Snape might...” She stopped, a flush creeping up her cheeks.

“Might what?”

“You know.”

“No, I don’t know. I can’t read your mind, although I am a wizard of strange and magnificent powers unknown to human kind.” Harry managed to say that with a straight face.

“Yes, oh great and powerful Oz, you are, but you’re also remarkably dense.”

“Oi. What did I do to deserve that?”

“What haven’t you done? I think Snape fancies you.”

“He does not! Take that back, you evil wench!” Harry hit Hermione with a pillow.

“Think about it, Harry.”

“I will not. That’s more disgusting than Malfoy and Zabini. Is that what you couldn’t say in front of Ron?”

“Well, can you imagine? He’d go ballistic.”

“Well, I’m about to go ballistic. Snape does not fancy me. I don’t even know why you’d say such a thing.”

“We’ve never seen him with a woman.”

“We’ve never seen him with a man, or a goat for that matter.”

“He’s being awfully nice to you.”
“Hermione!”

“Well, nice for Snape. Come on, Harry. Remember when you yelled at him in class. You yelled at him. He took two points for that.”

“Eh, he’s just having an off couple of months. He hasn’t taken many points from you or Ron either.”

“But that’s just it, don’t you see?”

“No, I don’t see.”

“Harry, do you know what happens when you mix pickled frog spawn with Fire Lizard blood?”

“No. Should I?”

“It’s in chapter twenty-three.”

“Hermione. Really, nobody, other than yourself, reads five chapters ahead in their Potions text.”

“Well, you should. Snape’s always throwing things at us that are a few chapters ahead.”

“He is?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Honestly, do you ever read your texts?”

Harry put his arm around Hermione’s shoulder and squeezed. “No. That’s what I’ve got you for, love.”

“Frog spawn,” Hermione said, assuming her familiar lecture tone while throwing Harry’s arm from her shoulder, “is generally an inert ingredient. Do you know what frog spawn is pickled in?”

“Uh, spices and whatnot?” Harry asked, doing a very credible imitation of Neville.

“Harry.”

“You’re going to make a spectacular mother some day. You’ve got the look and tone dead to rights already. Frog spawn is pickled in vinegar. Vinegar has a volatile reaction with a variety of ingredients. I’m just guessing here, but Fire Lizard blood is probably one of them.”

“Oh, you have cracked a book once or twice. Such a good little boy. Adding pickled frog spawn to a potion containing Fire Lizard blood would cause not only an explosion of epic proportions, but would also release a gas that’s highly toxic.”

“OK. What’s your point? Snape was ready to kill Neville, just like you’d expect.”

“Yes, you would expect that, wouldn’t you? But he didn’t even take points.”

Harry looked at her in amazement. “You’re right. He didn’t. But how does that relate to you thinking Snape fancies me?”

“Do you remember last week, when Millicent Bulstrode’s potion boiled over?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Snape took five points from her.”

“Yeah, well, if it’d been a Gryffindor he would have taken 20.”

“But he didn’t take any from Neville, and he almost created a toxic cloud in class.”

“I still don’t see...”

“Harry, Neville’s your friend. I’m your friend. Ron’s your friend. He’s hardly been taking points from any of us, or you. Snape’s trying to be nice to you and your friends.”

“That’s ridiculous. And if Snape does fancy someone, how do you know it’s not you, or Ron? Maybe he’s not taking points from me because he’s trying to be nice to you.”

“When was the last time Snape insulted you?”

“I... I can’t remember.”

“He insulted me yesterday. He called me an insufferable know-it-all.”

“Well, you are one.”

“I hate you. But that’s beside the point. He insulted me, deserved or not. Ron got detention last week. When was the last time Snape gave you detention? Yes, I know he sometimes makes you stay after class, but you said all he ever wants is to talk. When was the last time he made you scrub a cauldron? It’s you, Harry. He’s being nice to you and the rest of us, well we’re just reaping some of the benefit.”

Harry groaned. “I can’t talk about this any more. It can’t be true. I don’t want it to be true. I won’t let it be true. Snape. Ugh. My life isn’t hard enough?” He gave Hermione a weak grin. “The whole idea is going to put me off my food, and if I lose any weight, I’ll lose my girlish figure.”

“You do have a girlish figure, don’t you?”

“I have to kill you now.” Harry wrestled Hermione down onto the sofa and was tickling her when Ron came back, bearing a tray piled high with sandwiches and a pitcher of pumpkin juice.

“Oi! I wasn’t gone for even ten minutes. You two couldn’t control yourselves that long? You wanted me out so you could have an orgy!”

Hermione sat up, brushing her bushy hair out of her face. “You can’t have an orgy with two people, Ron.”

“Can you have one with three?” Ron looked as if he was sincerely interested.

“Well, I don’t know if three would qualify as an orgy.”

“Let me get my kit off and we can find out.”

Hermione and Harry both hit him with pillows.

“Here! Don’t make me spill pumpkin juice all over everything.” Ron set the tray down and flopped on the couch between the other two. “So, what’d I miss? Besides the orgy?”

“Ron, you know Hermione’s not my type?” Harry looked concerned.

“Why?” Ron asked indignantly. “What’s wrong with her?”

“There’s nothing wrong with her; I just don’t fancy her equipment.”

“She’s got very nice equipment.”

“Hello. I’m still in the room.” Hermione said.

“I’m sure she does have very nice equipment. It’s just the wrong equipment.”

“You’re a poof.”

“Got it in one.”

“Well, I already knew that, didn’t I?”

“You did? How could you know when I only recently realised it myself?”

“Er, um, well...”

“Spit it out.”

“FrednGeorgehavebigmouths.”

“What?”

“Fred. And. George. Have.”

“Oh shut up, I heard you the first time. What do they know about it?”

“Well,” Ron leaned forward conspiratorially, “they were spying on you at the Burrow.”

“I’ve never done anything at the Burrow, nor anywhere else for that matter.”

“You were talking in your sleep.”

Harry buried his face in his hands.

“They were quite offended you know.”

“Why?” Harry looked miserable.

“Wanted to know why you fancied Bill and not them.”

“I’m never going to be able to look anyone in your family in the face again.”

“Buck up, Harry. It’s not like they’d tell anybody.”

“They told you!”

“Well, they did. But I’m your best friend.”

“I’ll bet you a Sickle to a sausage they told Bill.”

“You’re probably right. They probably told Charlie too. Look on the bright side. They didn’t tell Ginny. Wouldn’t want to break her heart.”

“You don’t care?”

“Naw, why would I? Bill’s a poof too. Oh, I probably shouldn’t have told you that. Now I’m going to have to put a silencing charm around your bed at night.”

“Shut up.”

“Right you are, mate.” Ron clapped his hands together and looked expectantly at Hermione. “So, what were you two talking about.”

“Hermione has some crackpot idea that’s not worth rehashing.”

“‘S’that why you wanted me out of the room? Didn’t want me to know you could have a barmy idea?”

Hermione glared at him. Harry laughed.

“She thinks Snape fancies me.”

“Ecch! I’m glad I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

Hermione took a sandwich and bit into it. “He does fancy him.”

“You’re daft.” Ron said, helping himself to some pumpkin juice.

“No, listen,” Hermione briefly recapped what she had said to Harry.

Ron’s eyes got wide. “She’s right you know. Then she always is, damn her.”

“Shut up,” Harry yelled. “Snape couldn’t possibly be interested in me. He hates me. You know that as well as I do.”

“I always thought he did too, Harry. But not anymore,” Hermione said.

“What if it’s some plan of V-Voldemort’s?” Ron suggested enthusiastically. “You know, seduce the Boy Who Lived, or get you preoccupied with Snape’s plan so you’re not paying attention and the Death Eater’s can capture you.”

“Oh, Ron!” Hermione said, looking at her friend with exasperation. “Not another one of your ‘Snape really is a Death Eater’ scenarios. We go through this every year. For the last time, Snape is not a Death Eater and Dumbledore trusts him!”

“Yeah, but Dumbledore isn’t always right, is he?” Harry said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Professor Moody for one. Dumbledore trusted him for a whole year before he discovered Moody was really Barty Crouch, Jr. What if he’s wrong about Snape, Hermione?”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, Harry. Don’t you start too. Professor Snape is on our side! Look at all the times he saved your neck.”

“You know, every one always says that, but really he only ever saved me once, right Ron?”

“Yeah, the broomstick thing!” Ron agreed excitedly. “And he didn’t know V-Voldemort was hiding in Quirrel’s turban, did he? No, he did not! Maybe if he’d known Quirrel was hiding You-Know-Who -- don’t look at me that way, I said the name before, it’s just habit-- if he’d known that it was V-Voldemort all along, maybe he wouldn’t have saved Harry.”

“What about trying to save you from Sirius?” Hermione said angrily.

“Are you daft? There was nothing to save me from! Sirius wasn’t trying to hurt me, you know that as well as I do!”

“Yes, but Snape didn’t know it, Harry! He thought Sirius was trying to kill you and he tried to save you.”

“He wasn’t trying to save Harry. He was trying to get himself an Order of Merlin for capturing Sirius,” Ron supplied.

“Oh! You two!” Hermione shouted.

“Calm down, Hermione. You’re the smartest girl I’ve ever met, and you’re probably right - you usually are- but what if you’re wrong? What if Snape is still a Death Eater? What if this really is a plot to seduce Harry? I’m just saying we should keep an open mind, consider all the angles, that’s all.”

Hermione kissed Ron on the forehead. “When did you become so reasonable?”

Ron grinned. “Must be your good influence, maybe your brain’s rubbing off on me.”

“Ronald Weasley, you say the sweetest things.” Hermione leaned into Ron and their lips met in a brief kiss.

“Would you two please stop that!” Harry shouted.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t realise it really bothered you.” Hermione blushed lightly.

“It doesn’t so much bother me as I find it completely DISGUSTING AND REVOLTING!”

Ron threw a pillow at him. “You’re just jealous, mate. Whyn’t you go and find Snape. I bet he’ll kiss you.”

Harry let out a wild whoop and tackled the pair, dragging them to the floor and straddling both of them.

“Who’s the greatest wizard of the age?”

“Albus Dumbledore,” Hermione and Ron chanted in unison.

“Shut up. It’s me, you twits.” He waved his wand in their faces and bounced up and down. “Who’s the greatest wizard of the age?”

“Harry Potter,” they groaned.

“And who’s his Grand Vizier?”

“Miss Know-It-All Granger!” Ron shouted.

“And who’s his faithful consort, his Keeper of the Privy Everything?”

“Ronald Weasley,” Hermione said at the same time Ron shouted, “Severus Snape!”

Harry touched his wand to Hermione’s forehead. “You, faithful friend, are still my Grand Vizier. You,” he poked Ron’s chin, “are a mangy cur and must die!” He tickled Ron who giggled loudly.

Abruptly, Ron shifted his leg abruptly, throwing Harry to the side. With a war whoop of his own, he pounced on Harry, straddling his chest.

“Here now! I never! Such a ruckus. I would expect sixth years to behave a little more age-appropriately.” Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway glaring down at the heap of Gryffindors. “Ten points from Gryffindor. Each.”

“But Professor,” Harry began.

“Enough, Mister Potter. Go to bed, all of you. It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

“But...”

“Not another peep, Potter. To bed! This instant!”

With Professor McGonagall impatiently watching their every move, Harry, Hermione and Ron gathered their things and slunk off to bed.