Harry Potter And The Half Blood Pimp

At Harrys old house –



“Whooopppppeeee!” Sirius screamed as he hopped up into the air. “Harry is alive?”

“That’s right.” Dumbledore and Lupin explained in unison, just as Remus’ cell phone rang.

“Look at you! So fancy now!” Sirius grinned as he watched Lupin pick the phone up.

“Yes… Ok… $300… If he says he can’t pay one more time, hand him the phone. Ok. That’s better. I will see you girls soon. Yes. We will have company. Bring me three of those chicken sandwiches I like.” Then Remus hung up.

Sirius simply stared blankly at Remus before asking, “What was that all about?”

Dumbledore replied in his most serious tone, “Hoes and Tricks.”

“Gah?” Sirius asked seriously confused. “Did you. Did he? What?” Sirius stuttered as he pointed to Lupin and Dumbledore in turn.

“I have a job.” Lupin began slowly, attempting to judge Sirius’ reactions.

“Ok.” Sirius gestured for Lupin to continue.

“I work for Harry.” Lupin sighed. “I am standing in his position while he finishes school.

“So Harry owns a business? What does he do?” Sirius grinned widely as he leaned forward in his chair.

“Not exactly what he does Sirius.” Dumbledore grinned, “But who does IT for him.” Dumbledore burst into tearful laughter as he clapped his hands. “I made a funny.”

“Gah?” Sirius’ mouth hung open, as he still didn’t understand what Lupin and Dumbledore were dancing around.

“Harry is a pimp. Well, he is on hiatus while I control his pimpdom.” Lupin finally blurted.

“HAHAHAHAHA! Oh God Moony! That is RICH!” Sirius began to laugh. “Ow, my sides!” His face contorted in a large grin, he didn’t notice Lupin and Dumbledore share a look. “Pimpdom! Ha!”

“We aren’t kidding.” Lupin growled.

“But…” Sirius began.

“Look, we don’t like it either, but it is what happened, and there is no changing him.” Dumbledore sighed.

Lupin nodded slowly before speaking. “You will see. He is a good kid. Just, different.”

“I have to see him.” Sirius demanded, his face pale.

“In due time.” Dumbledore replied, “In due time.”



Back at Hogwarts –



The student body was in a buzz. Harry Potter had begun passing out enchanted flyers to all the boys inviting them to a party. The flyer had directions to a certain hallway, the secret on how to enter, and how much it cost to enjoy the “entertainment” that would be available.



“Please. Mam. I really must go to Hogsmeade.!” Harry begged McGonnagal, his eyes betrayed his urgency.

“Mr. Potter. I simply cannot allow students to leave when ever they please.” She replied sternly.

For a moment, Harry was silent, contemplative. McGonnagal felt as though for once he may relent in his ways, before Harry leaned forward and whispered to her. “I bet you would like a new dress, or three.”

His hand slowly slipped into his pocket and dropped a jingling bag onto the table that drew the line between student and teacher. He winked casually at her. Time seemed to come to a stand still before the world exploded around him.

“I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT BRIBERY IS AN EXPELLABLE OFFENSE MISTER POTTER!” Her shrill voice shaking the walls with every syllable.

“Mmmhmmmm.” Harry leaned forward bridging the gap between them licking his lips. “Mabe you want something else, love?”

“Out.”

“What?” Harry inquired, his eyes innocent.

“I said OUT!” McGonnagal shook with barely suppressed rage.

“Damn. Frigid.” Harry grumbled as he swiped his money off the table.



“Mr. Potter.” Dumbledore smiled serenly as he passed Harry in the halls.

“Mr. Dumbledore.” Harry waved slightly. “Is there a way for me to go to Hogsmeade?”

“For what?” Dumbledore asked.

“To deliver a letter.” Harry replied, his face serious.

“Mr. Potter. You do know, owls deliver letters, right?” Dumbledore twinkled.

“Of course. Never mind.” Harry blushed. “Christ. I almost licked an ancient –omb.” Harry mumbled as he walked quickly away.

“Funny. I thought I heard him say womb. He must have meant tomb.” Dumbledore shrugged cheerily.



The next day, Harry had written and owled three letters. One to Lupin. One to The Three Broomsticks. His final one, he had sent to the redheaded twins. Dobby had helped with one letter.



Lupins Letter-



“I want to talk to you.” Lupin began as he beckoned Cynthia over to him away from the other women. “I need to tell you…” What he wanted to tell her would have to wait, as an owl had just dropped a letter on his head.

“Is that from K.M?” Cynthia grinned widely as she bounced on her heels. “I sure hope it is. I miss him. Not that you aren’t a good pimp. You just aren’t my little Harry.” She smiled as she blushed.

“It is. Let me read it real quick.” Lupin cut the envelope open with his fingernail, taking care not to damage the contents. He immediately began reading.



Dear Lupin,



School is gud. I em enjoyin ma self. I miss ma hos. Let em no I mis em. I knead u to do mee a favur. Look in ma cabenet in da haal o’ da hous. Send me ma pimp hat. I be kneading dat shiat. Peece junck yard. (junck yard be what I be callin ya. Cuz you be meen like da muthea fukin junck yard dog.)



King Magick



“Harry needs his hat.” Lupin looked to Cynthia as he realized she was petting the delivery owl. “He is waiting for me to get the hat. Do you know which one he may want? He has so many.” Lupin scratched his head.

Cynthia took the letter from Harry, scanned it for a moment, and then returned it to him. “Cute. Junk yard.” She giggled as she beckoned him to follow her back to the house. “Lets get him his purple and his green one.”

“Ok.” Lupin agreed, albeit slightly confused on how she could deduce this.



The Three Broomsticks letter-



Dear Madam Rosmerta,



“My name is Dabby. I represent my mast friend. He needs butterbeer and firewhisky. My house elve Dobby will pick it up. He brings monies.



Long live the great wonderful awesome Harry Potter. He is so great.



Doabby



“Well. I suppose if he has money. I can sell to this house elve.” Madam Rosmerta thought to her self as she read over the letter. “This Dabby guy sure loves Harry Potter, but then again, who wouldn’t. Slayer of you-know-who and all.” She shivered slightly before beginning to pack several boxes with an array of alcoholic beverages beyond what was requested. “I like to make friends with wizards with house elves.” She giggled.



The Twins-



The Weasely twins opened their letter, each grasping an opposite end as they peered down at the paper, their eyes becoming larger and larger.

“With this much money.”

“For such easy work.”

“We could.”

“Start our business!” They finally chimed in unison.



The rest of the common room looked up at the twins as they had been standing in a dark corner. “Er.” They thought before noticing Harry watching them.

“Get back to work you fucks!” They screamed, shocking even them selves. Then Fred peeked at Harry, only to see him nodding his head appreciatively.

Harry mouthed at Fred silently, “Meet me outside.” He then stood up casually and walked out the portrait hole.

Fred and George waited a moment before following suit.



“I need bouncers.” Harry stated flatly as he turned to the twins. “Follow me.” He then led them to the room of Requirments and opened the door to the most splendid nightclub any one could ever imagine. There was music, lights, ground smoke, cushy couches, a fully stocked bar, and several walkways with poles that where well lit.

“Welcome to club Harry.” Harry grinned as he opened his arms wide, guiding the twins in behind him. “I need you two, to keep the boys in check, and the girls safe.” He continued.

“We can do it.” The twins chimed in unison.

“It will be your ass if you fuck up.” Harry turned stern. Yet, the twins were unfazed, ready to perform their duties to their fullest extent.

“When do you open?”

“Friday.”



Thursday Night-



“Hermy?” Harry whispered from his spot on the couch, his thick cockney accent shining through. (Yea, thick cockney… that describes him…)

Hermione HATED it when ANYONE butchered her name, but for this one time, she found, she couldn’t be angry. “Yes?” She replied.

“Hermy. Could you? May be? Never mind. I be fine.” Harry quickly spluttered as he scratched at his parchment.

“No. What is it Harry?” Hermione stood up and tried to casually move to where he sat.

“It’s just. Well…” Harry thought for a moment, before surprising Hermione with his speech. “Mutha fuckin Snape be bitin on ma mutha fucking ass, just cuz I can’t be spellin a couple of mutha fuckin words right. I know dis shit, like I know ma trade, and dis muther fucker be disrespectin me.”

Hermione simply stared before slowly reaching towards Harry’s parchment. She had just noticed he had been clutching it so she couldn’t see it, almost on purpose. “I don’t know what you just said. I am going to check your work though. Ok?”

Harry simply nodded and let the paper slip from his fingertips as he watched her intently.

“Is that… nervousness?” Hermione thought as she threw a sideways glance at Harry before turning to his parchment. She choked. “Oh God. This is terrible. Why did I agree to help this idiot?” Hermione cringed as she stared slack jawed at the work that Harry had created. She considered it a mockery of the language that she cherished so much. It surprised when Harry began to speak.

“See. I know you be makin all dem high marks and shi- stuff.” He had tried to control his speech in front of her. “Not that all yo work be shit. I just be sayin. I thought mabe you could let me know how I be doin. Voice an opinion and shit.” Harry seemed to be rambling.

“Well.” Hermione began as she tried to hide her cringe. “Let me start here.” She reached towards Harry’s quill, dipped it in ink, and began to write on his parchment. “When referring to a bezoar. I do not believe Professor Snape appreciates it if we refer to it as the STUFF that comes out of the… yes, foul language here wouldn’t apply Harry.”

“I weren’t sure how to say it no other way. Mutha fuckin shit dat comes out da goats nasty ass stomach makes all da sense to me.” Harry scratched his head, but seemed intent to learn.

Hermione allowed Harry to huddle over her shoulder, ashamed of her attraction to his smell. Unbeknownst to her though, Harry had noticed her inhaling his scent. He had a natural talent for knowing what a woman likes or may be thinking.

“Dolce.” He whispered into her ear causing her to stutter.

“What?” She almost shouted, causing several of the other students to look their way.

“I said.” He hissed slowly. “Dolce. Its ma cologne. Dolce and Gabana. I see you be likin it.”

“Yes well!” Hermione stood up quickly. “Here is your parchment, just recopy what I wrote!” With that, she almost ran to the girls dormitory.



Harry leaned back, and noticing that the red headed boy called Ron was walking towards him, Harry decided to end this once and for all.

Before Ron could react, Harry was on his feet with his eyes wild. Harry held his wand at a strange angle, and began to scream at Ron. “Break yo self you mutha fuckin red headed tampon lookin mutha fucka!”

Ron staggered backwards with his hands up, his mouth moving like a fish.

“Stop yo muthafuckin walkin up on ma ass, actin like you mutha fuckin hard. You betta check yo self, be’fo you wreck yo self! I WILL fuck yo shit up, and you wont even know WHAT THE FUCK!” Harry’s face was now as red as Ron’s hair, his wand jabbing and jerking erratically towards Ron.

Ron seemed to find some courage and straightened himself up after looking over his shoulder. What he saw, Harry did not notice as Ron began to speak. “Look mate, you stay away from her. You are trash, and you don’t deserve her.”

The silence in the common room was deafening.

POP!

Harry had swung back his wand and whipped it towards Ron. A bright purple line ran from the tip of the wand and cracked like a whip against Ron’s face. The purple of the magick matched Harry’s face.

“You muther fucker.” Harry hissed, no longer the inviting tone he used with Hermione, his voice now sounded like death itself. “You don’t EVER tell King Magick who he can or can’t speak to.”

Before Ron could open his mouth or react, Harry took a step forward and jammed his wand into Rons stomache and leaned forward so his mouth was against his ear.

What ever Harry told Ron in those seconds left him shaking as Harry walked away. As Harry left the portrait hole, Ron ran to the nearest open window and wretched out it.



Harry had decided to make a powerful exit, and now that he was out of the common room, he didn’t know what to do. So he began to walk. He walked until he came to the entrance to the dungeons, and simply stood there staring at the stairs downward. It was then that he realized his homework was stuffed into his pocket, heavily damaged, but readable.

“Confused or lost? Drugs?” Came the cold harsh tone of Severus Snape the Potions Master.

“I fucked up.” Harry sighed.

“Yes you are. Follow me.” Snape seemed to soften for a moment before walking down into the dungeons, his harsh glare back in full force.

“Why you always bustin ma balls?” Harry asked, surprised when Snape whirled around to face him.

“I hate you.” Snape replied flatly.

“Why?” Harry inquired, genuinely interested. “Im fair. I got a strong pimp hand, and I be putting down ma best damn work I can in yo class.”

“Exactly. You are a… for lack of a better term… a fuck up. You disgust me, you woo the women, you flirt insatiably, and you have a pension for swearing and violence only rivaled by Sirius Black.”

“Don’t know what to say.” Harry replied as he watched Snape turn back around and beckon him further.

“You ain’t planning to kill me down here is you?” Harry laughed, but sobered up as Snape refused to answer.



Deeper into the dungeons they ventured until they came to the potion masters classroom. Where Snape motioned for Harry to find a seat.

“We will work on your atrocious grammar. Now.” Snape growled as he jerked a hand at some chalk and his rolling black board, summoning them to where Harry sat. “Spell cat.” He grumbled as he shoved the chalk into Harry’s hand.

“C a t” Harry grinned as he wrote the letters on the board.

“WRONG!” Snape startled Harry as his hand slammed onto the desk, “Your letter C is backwards. Fix it!”

The night continued on, until morning, Snape helping Harry learn to write properly, though it only softened his writing a smidgen.

“Watching you write is like watching a street urchin wipe their ass with fine French silk.” Snape grumbled as the bell to the school chimed that it was morning.

Harry could now write better, but it only allowed him to write his colorful slang words and cuss words in an easier method.



Friday-



“Shit!” Harry growled as he pulled himself up the many flights of stairs out of the dungeon. “Hey there!” He quickly smiled as he noticed Hermione passing the path to the dungeons in front of him.

She stumbled for a moment, turned to look at him, smiled, then SLAPPED THE HELL OUT OF HIM! “That is for Ron you animal!” She yelled before running down the hall.

Harry turned to find Snape laughing uproariously at him.

“Fuck dat shit.” Harry hissed as he stomped down the hall towards the great hall.



As he opened the door to the great hall, he noticed Hermione was crying and huddled in the arms of the red headed girl. “Forgot her name.” He thought.

Ron looked angry, but was decidedly not looking at him. It was painfully obvious Harry wasn’t wanted at his Houses table, so he walked right over to where Snape was eating at the head.

“What do you want?” Snape hissed, as the rest of the school, including Dumbledore was silent, watching what Harry was doing.

Harry simply reached out, snatching a chicken leg from his plate. Grinning as he watched Snapes mouth fall open. “Cun-var-sation.” Harry stumbled a bit on the word but grinned to himself as he summoned a chair and scooted in between Snape and Dumbledore.

“What better way to enjoy breakfast?” Dumbledore clapped Harry on the back and began to regale him with tales of his adventures as a younger man. Harry simply smiled and enjoyed the feeling of minor success he had.



That night Harry had dressed in his favorite suit. It was bright honey yellow with green trim. “Yellow for the honeys and green for da monies.” He had laughed to himself as he walked down from the boys’ dorm room, noticing the stares he got, mostly from the women.

Harry nodded at the twins as they stood and took their place behind him. They certainly looked intimidating. They both wore dress robes with the arms tore off them, temporary magickal tattoos running up and down their arms. They looked like mirror images of bad assery.

“Alllllll riiiight.” Harry smiled as he carried his cane in one hand and his wand in the other. They quickly exited and made their way to the room of requirements. Where Harry summoned his nightclub.

“Ok.” Harry explained to the twins as they stood within the club. “You take their money as they come in. If they get rowdy, you fuck em up and take more money. No bitches or bottles either.”

Fred and George nodded and turned towards the door, their arms crossed.

Harry surveyed his club, now that it was about to go into full swing. He had hired four prostitutes from Hogsmeade to dance for his patrons. The bar was stocked to the brim with Dobby in his new clothes manning the tap.

Dobby wore a blood red suite and a small hat with horns on it that made him look like a small devil. Dobby loved it, and Harry thought it sufficiently creepy to keep the boys from trying to roll the elf over. Harry didn’t know how powerful a house elf really was.

The music began to play as Harry sat down on a rather large chintzy couch towards the back of the club. He let his hat tip down low on his face as he rested his cane and wand in a cross pattern on his lap.

He could hear the boys slowly filtering in, their whoops and hollering filling the silence between songs as the girls did their thing, and the alcohol loosened wallets. It was well into the night when he caught a noise that made him lift his head up, there was a struggle going on at the door. Harry watched objectively before catching a glimpse of bushy brown hair causing him to leap to his feet and rush to the door in a blur of color.

Whats da problem?” He hollered as he halted Fred and George from shoving Hermione out the door.

“You said no bit.” But before Fred could finish, Harry silenced him with a look. “This girl is ok.”

“I am a prefect! This is a severe breach in the rules of this school!” She shrieked.

Harry walked up to her, placed his finger on her mouth, and then slipped his hand into hers. “Follow me.” He whispered, causing her legs to almost buckle. “I want to show you something.”

“I will have you know…” She began before her mouth went dry as she realized one of the girls up on stage was a schoolteacher for children to young to attend Hogwarts, and she was currently bent over revealing… everything.

“Sit.” Harry offered her a spot on his red couch.

She sat, unable to take her eyes of the women dancing on the stage.

“I am doing the job that needs to be done.” Harry motioned towards the club with his cane. “I am working the second oldest job known the man.”

“What is the oldest?” Hermione inquired.

“Prostitution.” Harry replied, causing her to choke. “Look at these girls. They are getting paid big bucks to simply dance. The boys are enjoying a healthy relaxing night away from the stress of school, hell, I got me one of dem house elves working for me.” Harry motioned towards Dobby. “Muther fucker be trying to fuck himself out of money, but I ain’t be standing for that. He be getting paid good too. That suit he be wearing cost $800 pounds.”

Hermione simply stared at Harry, a knew found respect for him slowly forming, albeit reluctantly. “I never thought of it as a service. I see this as, debauchery?” She seemed to be wrestling with her own thoughts.



Harry nodded before asking. “What is debauchery?”

“Bad behavior.” She replied.

Harry stood up, offering his hand to Hermione. “Come with me?”

“Where?” She asked, as he helped her up.

“To my office.” He smiled lopsidedly towards a red and gold trimmed door that was tucked away in a shadow. “It will be quieter.”



Hermione caught a glimpse of the light green glow of the letters on the door as Harry led her by her hand. “VIP… Huh…” She thought.

As soon as the door closed, the lights in the room dimmed and the noise of the room just beyond the archway became completely deaf. The tune I’m So Icey by Gucci Mane reverberated softly as though the entire room breathed the song.

Hermione breathed in deeply as her eyes adjusted to the new colors and lights. There was a desk, towards the far left wall, and to the right was a couch that looked like it could barely fit one person, let alone two, without them being all over each other. There was also a very old looking record player, which sat up against the wall leaving a rather large space where persons could dance.

Harry snaked an arm around Hermione causing her to catch her breath, the song that was playing slowly raised in tone as he began dancing with her. With one arm around her waist and another in the air, his fingers snapping to the beat he began swaying slowly.

“I… I… I can’t dance.” Hermione stuttered as she had put both arms around Harry’s neck.

“Could fool me.” Harry whispered into her ear as the music seeped into them.

Hermione blushed as Harry’s body ground against hers.

“Drink?” Harry offered as he now held two thin wine glasses filled with pumpkin juice.

“How did you do that?” Hermione asked as she untwined one arm to hold her drink.

“Magick.” Harry grinned at her before winking at Dobby as Dobby disappeared without a sound.

“Why me?” Hermione finally blurted as the song changed. (grind on me- pretty ricky)

Harry’s pace slowed to match the tenor of the music. Hermione thought he may even be “grinding” on her. “I wanted you since I first laid eyes on you.” He whispered into her ear, his lips barely grazing the tip.

“No…?” Hermione wheezed.

“Yes.” Harry breathed back, still dangerously close to her ear.

Hermione could feel her knees shaking.

“All I wanted since I laid eyes on you was this. You right here.” He sighed contentedly.

“Just this?” Hermione asked before she could stop herself. She hoped she hadn’t sounded as disappointed as she felt.

“You are the kind of girl who could make a player want to quit the game.” Harry leaned his face down into the nape of Hermione’s neck, inhaling her scent deeply. “Cinnamon. I love Cinnamon.” His wet lips graced her neck meeting with his breath; sending electrifying chills up and down her back.

Hermione felt like putty, and even though there was a logical part of her mind screaming to push him away, the rest of her was ready to do anything he wanted.

Before she could protest, Harry pulled away from her. “I should stop.” He sighed.

“No! I mean. Why?” Hermione’s face looked panicked for a moment.

Harry took another drink from his pumpkin juice, savoring the scent of the drink and Hermione’s cinnamon scent mixing together around his lips. Harry walked over to the couch and sat down, taking up the entire thing. “I know what you think about me.”

“You do?” She asked, her voice shaking a little.

“I aint smart enough to be your man.” Harry sighed.

“What?” Hermione’s voice almost sounded frantic.

“You are beautiful, and smart, and everything a man could want.” Harry leaned back; it looked as though it was sapping his strength to say each word. “You could never love me.”

“That is ridiculous!” Hermione breathed sharply.

“Any man who says otherwise is a fool.” Harry sighed deeper this time. “I’m just ugly ol King Magick.”

Hermione didn’t know when Harry had unbuttoned his jacket, but the view of his chest and stomach spoke volumes about how UN-ugly Harry was. Then she heard what she didn’t want to hear.

“What about your man?” Harry asked slowly, as he watched her gravitate towards him.

“My what?” Hermione questioned, “You mean Ron?” She scoffed.

“Isn’t he?” Harry asked, looking dejected.”

“Of course not! Ron is a prat!” Hermione replied quickly as she walked right up to Harry, her kneecaps pressing lightly against his.

“But I aint that smart either.” Harry looked up at her, his lopsided grin returning to his face.

“I have smarts for the both of us.” Hermione replied.

“You talk like you like me.” Harry grinned.

“Perhaps I do?” Hermione blushed.

Before Harry could reply, another song began playing. (Slow Motion Remix- Juvenile/Wyclef/Ying Yang Twins/ UTP) It looked like something had pushed on Hermione’s back as she bent over with both hands on either of Harry’s shoulders, her legs locked tight against his.

“Thanks Dobby.” Harry thought as she stared down into his eyes. “Why don’t we play like you are my teacher, and I give you your first lesson.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” She grinned down at him.

“It will when I am done with you.” He smirked as he ran his fingertips up and down her arms.

She shivered to his touch, and so he continued. He took both of her wrists in his hands, and leaning forward, pull her hands off the couch and twirled her around. Slowly he lowered her onto his lap, her arms pinned and crossed behind her back. She had a surprised look on her face as she looked over her shoulder at him. Her bottom was so firm against his lap, he was actually becoming excited.

Harry gently began moving his hips, grinding against her, trying to show her the rhythm of the song. “Feel the beat?” He whispered into her ear, allowing his tongue to flick momentarily within as he stressed the t.

“I think so.” She groaned a little harder then she meant to.

“Just move your waist and keep your top half stable.” And as she began, Harry attempted to encourage her. “Just like thaaa---- dammmmmn girl. Just like that.” His voice hitching as she quickly found the rhythm, wiggling her arms free so she could grasp Harry’s knees.

As Hermione entered her rhythm, teasing and titillating Harry’s body with her movements, he ventured to plant a kiss on the back of her neck. His lips picking up the taste of her sweat and shampoo, he breathed hard pulling air over her dampness sending shivers through her entire body that made Harry groan as it found its way down to where they where closest.

Her movements where not nearly as refined at the other girls Harry had danced with. Yet, this clumsy bookworm was turning him on in ways he had never felt. He had never gotten an erection from a dance, but now, his body ached against hers as she experimented with her newfound skills.

Harry groaned in his throat as his hands gripped her waist, he almost yelped as he felt her stand up before he realized she was turned around and now straddling him. “You sure you want this girl?”

“Give me more.” She breathed into his mouth as she pressed as hard with her lips against his.

“Girl gonna bruise my ass.” He thought to himself before breaking away from her lips long enough to nibble on her collarbone.

Harry didn’t consciously notice that she was still grinding her hips against him as they kissed, but the rest of him knew.



KNOCK KNOCK!



“Fuck.” Harry and Hermione breathed in unison as the door was knocked on.

“I got it.” Harry growled as Hermione moved off his lap.

Hermione’s eyes went wide, as she realized there was a rather tent like shape Harry was sporting, that he didn’t seem to mind answering the door with.

Professor Snape stood at the door.

“Fuck me.” Harry sighed as he made eye contact.

“Couldn’t get Minerva so you come after me Potter?” Snape sneered before peering down. “MERLIN! Put that thing away! Give me our Prefect you lecherous monster.”

Hermione walked forward trying to straighten her jeans and hair, her face flushed.

“I care not about what goes on in here, but you will not be tainting our prize student with your satanic seed.” Snape growled before gesturing for Hermione to leave.

“Fuck.” Harry growled as he watched them disappear behind the doors back to the castle. “Get back to partying! One free drink!” He shouted, to reassure every one that everything was ok.

“I love a drink.” Harry spun around to find Dumbledore standing behind him with a scraggly looking man.

“Am I expelled?” Harry cocked his head, as he followed Dumbledore’s gaze to the woman on stage currently riding a pole.

“No! Of course not!” Dumbledore chuckled, “Follow me.” Walking the three of them into Harry’s VIP room.

“You look hungry.” Harry commented to the scraggly looking man with tears in his eyes looking between Harry and the women.

“I can’t believe this.” He could hear the man mumbling as he shook his head.

“You all right?” Harry inquired as he watched the man tremble.

“I just… I can’t believe, I finally get a chance to meet my godson, and I want to tackle one of them women up there.” Sirius looked stressed.

“It’s all good. So who is yo godson?” Harry continued the conversation; ready to hand this man Lupin’s card.

He was ready, until Sirius replied with, “You.”

Dumbledore began speaking before Harry could reply. “I have brought Mister Sirius Black to meet you Harry. We began by going to your House’s tower, but it was strangely devoid of all males. So we went to Slytherin’s common room, again devoid of males, so off to Hufflepuff. Not one man. Finally we went to Ravenclaw where again not one man remained. So Professor Snape was kind enough to cast a powerful tracking charm, and found all the testosterone had found it’s way here.”

“Awesome.” Harry replied, plainly in awe of his inability to hide anything from this headmaster.

“I also noticed Ms. Granger was missing. Is everything ok?” Dumbledore was now looking down his nose at Harry.

“Of course. Just teaching her how to dance.” Harry replied, holding his eye contact.

“I am sure you were.” Dumbledore returned to twinkling, as he gestured to the scraggly man. This is Sirius Black, your Godfather.”

Harry pushed Sirius back as he attempted to hug him. “Where you been since I was a kid?” Harry asked harshly.

“In Prison.” Sirius began to sob.

“For what?” Harry asked softly.

“I killed your parents.” Sirius choked.

“What?!” Harry yelled rounding hard on Sirius. “You did what?”

“I wasn’t able to save them, I good as killed them when I let our traitor friend protect them, instead of I.” Sirius was now shaking.

“If it was an honest mistake, there aint nothing you can do.” Harry whispered before putting a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Huggin is fo hoes” Harry smirked.

Sirius looked towards Harry, his stomach untying from the knot it was in.

“So what you doin now?” Harry finally asked.

“I guess I will be looking for work. Not many people will hire an ex murderer though.” Sirius sighed.

“Work for me.” Harry stated. It wasn’t a question.

“Doing?” Sirius cocked his head, his dog like mannerisms shining through.

“Deputy Pimp and Enforcer for Lupin.” Harry replied calmly. “You carry the bat and the gun. So to speak.” Harry shrugged as he pointed to Sirius’ wand.

“Ok.” Sirius grinned slightly. “I wanted to be a pimp when I was like fourteen years old.” He laughed.

“I was a pimp when I was fourteen, still am.” Harry grinned cheekily.

Dumbledore summoned a chair and sat down. His face plastered with a large grin. “I am so happy you two are getting along.”

“It’s nice to make new friends.” Harry slightly stuttered as he tried to clean up his language around Dumbledore. Harry had a lot of respect for the old man.

“Not to sound ungrateful.” Harry began. “But, you cool with this?” He motioned around towards the door.

“You stair at Minerva’s ass for seventy years. Then you tell me.” Dumbledore grinned before standing up and walking out.

“Mutha fucka be nuts.” Harry snickered as he shook his head.

“Mutha fucka definitely be nuts.” Sirius confirmed with a large grin.