Harry Potter and the Sorcerer\'s Groan
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
9
Views:
4,369
Reviews:
18
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
9
Views:
4,369
Reviews:
18
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part 5: Poision Ivy
Part 5: Poison Ivy
Severus Snape
Can my life get any worse?
The Canadian wilderness doesn’t agree with me. I went to relieve myself in the woods and made the huge mistake of using poison ivy leaves as toilet paper. One would think that a Potions Master such as I would know better than to use such leaves and make such a stupid mistake, but it was dark in the forest and I was in a hurry.
God does my ass itch.
Potter found it very, very funny when I began to itch and feel the need to scratch. When I retraced my steps and saw the plant from which I extracted my makeshift toilet paper, I brought them into the sunlight.
I will never hear the end of this from Potter.
To distract me, he began conversation. He told me about some of his adventures with the Dark Lord, most of which I knew, and then proceeded to tell me about his family.
I knew that he lived with his Muggle aunt, uncle, and cousin. I had no idea that they were abusive and neglectful. This saddens me for some unknown reason. With this as the topic of conversation, Potter and I now have something in common.
He doesn’t know about my parents. Hopefully, he never will, because I don’t want his pity or compassion. Disgusting Gryffindor weakness, the lot of it…
Potter told me to call him ‘Harry’. He didn’t say that he would call me ‘Severus’, though I assume that it would be the case eventually. It would be odd to hear my name on his lips, after hearing it from so few…
He has not continued to irritate me on purpose. Now, he is irritating in other ways, but at least he is trying his best to make up for it with kind smiles and a listening ear.
Did I just write that? Imagine me, Severus Snape, saying that aloud. “Kind smiles and a listening ear”? I have nothing to tell him or speak to him about that would require either of those things.
I have officially gone off the deep end.
Does my knowledge of this mean I am sane or more insane? Maybe I should ask Potter, though I doubt his answer would be anything short of even more insanity.
Part 5: Poison Ivy
Harry Potter
Can my life get any worse?
Snape wiped his ass with poison ivy… nothing will ever be funnier than seeing him straining against scratching himself right there in front of me. He tried moving slightly while sitting on a log, but I noticed that and laughed my ass off.
Wow, this is such an interesting vacation…
Perhaps I should try finding my wand. We have managed to live off of whatever’s floating from the lake, but I don’t think it will last much longer. We have to get moving back toward civilization.
I asked him to call me ‘Harry’. I hate hearing him say ‘Potter’ because it sounds so damn formal and, as of yet, we’ve got only each other to count on for survival. He knows this, but is still reluctant to trust me.
DAMN HIM!
He just fell into the lake again. Honestly, the man has no balance whatsoever. You’d think he just ran around all day, falling and tripping and… wiping his ass with poison ivy leaves. The dumb ass!
He’s pissed now. I really don’t care, and I am thinking of telling him to screw himself (I am slightly afraid that he’d take that literally) and taking our remaining bits of food with me on the way back to civilization. Would the Greasy Git follow? I hope not.
I take back what I said about possibly liking him. He’s a git and a prat, and I hope Lucius castrates him with a rusty nail file.
Ouch, that would hurt REALLY badly. I winced while writing this and he gave me the oddest look.
I HATE HIM. I HATE SEVERUS SNAPE!
Okay, I lied.
A/N: Sorry this is so late! My cousin and I have been busy and haven\'t had much time to talk. We have finished the story and are hoping to post it as soon as possible.
A/N 2: I also would like to say that I will never look at poison ivy the same again. Seriously, I had some in my backyard and started cracking up. The visual of Snape restraining himself was too much for me to handle. Much love to all of the readers, ---- Shane and Alison
Severus Snape
Can my life get any worse?
The Canadian wilderness doesn’t agree with me. I went to relieve myself in the woods and made the huge mistake of using poison ivy leaves as toilet paper. One would think that a Potions Master such as I would know better than to use such leaves and make such a stupid mistake, but it was dark in the forest and I was in a hurry.
God does my ass itch.
Potter found it very, very funny when I began to itch and feel the need to scratch. When I retraced my steps and saw the plant from which I extracted my makeshift toilet paper, I brought them into the sunlight.
I will never hear the end of this from Potter.
To distract me, he began conversation. He told me about some of his adventures with the Dark Lord, most of which I knew, and then proceeded to tell me about his family.
I knew that he lived with his Muggle aunt, uncle, and cousin. I had no idea that they were abusive and neglectful. This saddens me for some unknown reason. With this as the topic of conversation, Potter and I now have something in common.
He doesn’t know about my parents. Hopefully, he never will, because I don’t want his pity or compassion. Disgusting Gryffindor weakness, the lot of it…
Potter told me to call him ‘Harry’. He didn’t say that he would call me ‘Severus’, though I assume that it would be the case eventually. It would be odd to hear my name on his lips, after hearing it from so few…
He has not continued to irritate me on purpose. Now, he is irritating in other ways, but at least he is trying his best to make up for it with kind smiles and a listening ear.
Did I just write that? Imagine me, Severus Snape, saying that aloud. “Kind smiles and a listening ear”? I have nothing to tell him or speak to him about that would require either of those things.
I have officially gone off the deep end.
Does my knowledge of this mean I am sane or more insane? Maybe I should ask Potter, though I doubt his answer would be anything short of even more insanity.
Part 5: Poison Ivy
Harry Potter
Can my life get any worse?
Snape wiped his ass with poison ivy… nothing will ever be funnier than seeing him straining against scratching himself right there in front of me. He tried moving slightly while sitting on a log, but I noticed that and laughed my ass off.
Wow, this is such an interesting vacation…
Perhaps I should try finding my wand. We have managed to live off of whatever’s floating from the lake, but I don’t think it will last much longer. We have to get moving back toward civilization.
I asked him to call me ‘Harry’. I hate hearing him say ‘Potter’ because it sounds so damn formal and, as of yet, we’ve got only each other to count on for survival. He knows this, but is still reluctant to trust me.
DAMN HIM!
He just fell into the lake again. Honestly, the man has no balance whatsoever. You’d think he just ran around all day, falling and tripping and… wiping his ass with poison ivy leaves. The dumb ass!
He’s pissed now. I really don’t care, and I am thinking of telling him to screw himself (I am slightly afraid that he’d take that literally) and taking our remaining bits of food with me on the way back to civilization. Would the Greasy Git follow? I hope not.
I take back what I said about possibly liking him. He’s a git and a prat, and I hope Lucius castrates him with a rusty nail file.
Ouch, that would hurt REALLY badly. I winced while writing this and he gave me the oddest look.
I HATE HIM. I HATE SEVERUS SNAPE!
Okay, I lied.
A/N: Sorry this is so late! My cousin and I have been busy and haven\'t had much time to talk. We have finished the story and are hoping to post it as soon as possible.
A/N 2: I also would like to say that I will never look at poison ivy the same again. Seriously, I had some in my backyard and started cracking up. The visual of Snape restraining himself was too much for me to handle. Much love to all of the readers, ---- Shane and Alison