Deflora

Disclaimer: I own hardback copies of the Harry Potter books, a number of dogs, and a twisted imagination. If J.K. Rowling sues me for this, she will get worn out American editions of her own books, and nothing else, because I’d die before I let the courts take my dogs.
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A/N: This is an AU. Specifically, this is an AU wherein Quirrell succeeded in acquiring the Sorcerer’s Stone for his master. It is also an AU wherein ephebephilia is both commonplace and legally sanctioned. Ephebephilia, for those of you who don’t know, is the Ancient Greek practice of men taking preteen boys as lovers, educating them and giving them social status in exchange for sex. So be warned: This is chanslash.


Deflora: The deflora ritual is an old wizarding custom in which a boy, from his 12th birthday to his 14th birthday, is bound to an older man in a specific form of sexual servitude, in exchange for instruction in how to conduct himself in society, introductions to influential people and certain material goods.
- International Dictionary of Wizarding Culture, XXIV Ed.

***Part Five: Meetings and Arrangements***

**Hogwarts, Mid-June**
Harry backed away from Quirrell. Or, at least, he tried to. He tripped over his untied shoelace and went sprawling, the Philosopher\'s Stone spilling from his pocket. Quirrell scooped it up and grinned diabolically.
\"Potter, you\'ve done me a favor, however accidentally, so I\'ll do one for you in return. You\'ve just earned your godfather a get out of jail free card. And just in time for the deflora ritual, too.\"
Harry didn\'t notice any of it, as he\'d hit his head and was currently unconscious. Quirrell tutted and shook his head. He pointed his wand at a ring he was wearing, spoke a few words in Latin, and Portkeyed out.


Sirius Black Innocent! Cleared At Trial!
Called \'Blisteringly Incompetent\' By Dark Lord
Story by Rita Skeeter

The Dark Lord released a press statement yesterday, stating that he had returned with the aid of a stolen Philosopher\'s Stone. He also disavowed, in a distinctly indignant manner, any connection with the infamous Sirius Black.
\"I wouldn\'t let him be a minion of mine if you paid me. He\'s a thundering moron and blisteringly incompetent. So far as I know, his only notable skills are sleeping around, holding his drink badly and motorcycle maintenance. I don\'t know where you people got the idea he was the Potters\' Secret-Keeper, either. I thought everybody knew that it had been Peter Pettigrew. You\'re all bloody imbeciles if you thought otherwise.\"
Upon receipt of this news, the Minister of Magic, C. O. Fudge, felt it was advisable to interrogate Black under Veritaserum, to see whether the Dark Lord\'s claims held any truth. Black was found to be neither a thundering moron nor blisteringly incompetent, but his skills were indeed limited to those named. He was also cleared of all charges and released from Azkaban. He has been paid 100,000 Galleons in reparations.
When asked what his plans were, he said \"I\'m going to get drunk, get laid, punch Snivellus in the nose and get reacquainted with my god-son Harry. Hopefully in that order.\" Who or what \'Snivellus\' may be is unknown.


**Hogwarts, Early July**
\"Gentlemen,\" Severus Snape snorted quietly into his tea at the notion of his companions being considered gentlemen. \"You are here because we have a problem. Severus, you already know the nature of this problem, but Sirius and Remus, you do not.\" Albus Dumbledore was uncharacteristically grave.
\"Is this problem really so terrible that I couldn\'t have seen my godson, whom I haven\'t spoken to in over ten years, first?\" Sirius Black had been out of prison for a week. He was hung over from a six-day bender, he still hadn\'t gotten laid and Snape had fought back when he punched him in the nose.
\"Yes, it is that bad, and it actually concerns Harry anyway. It\'s about his defloration contract. Peter Pettigrew was to have been his deflorator, but as he is legally dead, he is no longer bound by the contract.\"
\"So what\'s the problem?\" Remus Lupin, the third and final so-called gentleman, was suspicious.
\"Harry\'s end of the contract should have been voided as well, but due to an error in the way it was written, it isn\'t void. Harry is legally bound to be deflowered at the end of the month. If he isn\'t deflowered, he will become a Squib. Which is where the three of you are involved. Your magical signatures, auras if you will, are close enough to Pettigrew\'s that it allow you to be placed in the contract to replace him. Which one of you wants the job?\"
\"I\'m his god-father, I suppose I can do double duty as his lover as well.\"
\"Nonsense. I have more practice with boys his age, I should do it.\" Lupin declared this flatly, as if daring anyone to contest it.
\"What on Earth are you talking about, Lupin?\" demanded Snape incredulously.
\"I had ten first year boys in our sixth year alone.\" This, as if it were something to be proud of.
\"Good Gods.\" Snape was aghast. \"An ex-convict and a promiscuous werewolf. What a lovely choice.\"
\"Well, there\'s always you, Severus.\" Dumbledore said this mildly, not wanting to provoke his most temperamental teacher. He was not actually expecting it to be considered for a moment.
\"That\'s not such a bad idea. He is gorgeous...\"
\"You absolute pervert!\" Black was horrified.
\"Black, you should realize that it\'s perfectly acceptable to admit that somebody is attractive. And why, exactly, are you calling me a pervert?\"
\"Because I find the notion of you and my godson together a disturbing image, Snivellus!\"
\"And that\'s not as disturbing as the fact you want him? He\'s your godson, you\'re meant to be a father figure! And don\'t call me Snivellus!\"
\"Well, if that\'s your objection, I\'m afraid that I\'m going to have to point out that you\'re his professor, which counts you out as well, leaving me as his deflorator.\" Remus was uncharacteristically smug.
\"And here I\'d been hoping that you would accept the position as DADA professor, Remus. What a pity; now I\'ll have to give the job to Lockhart.\" Dumbledore was twinkling at them madly. \"Besides, Severus, if you were Harry\'s lover, he would have to share your rooms; it\'s traditional to room boys and their deflorators together.\"
\"I really wouldn\'t mind, just so long as he didn\'t go through my things.\"
\"Did you really mean it about offering me the job?\" Remus looked startled, pleased and slightly skeptical.
\"Of course I meant it. And Sirius, Severus does have a point, you know. You are meant to be somewhat of a father figure. Also, you really shouldn\'t call him Snivellus. Listening to the three of you bicker, I\'ve reached my decision. Remus, I really think Harry would have a hard time accepting your authority as a teacher if you were his lover as well, but Severus, having already taught him for a year, would have no such problem. Therefore, if you would just tap your wand to the contract, Severus?\" Dumbledore withdrew the contract and indicated a spot just below the now voided and faded signature of Pettigrew. Snape did so, and a crabbed sigil appeared and glowed red briefly.
Sirius was looking vaguely nauseous, but asked calmly \"Where am I supposed to be staying? Should I get a room at the Three Broomsticks or what?\"
\"You will staying in one of the guest chambers; a house elf will escort you. You and Severus can leave, by the way. I must discuss the terms of the teaching contract with Remus, and then speak to Harry.\"
With that none too subtle dismissal, the two left to go about their separate ways.

**Meanwhile, at the Ministry**
Arthur Weasley was confused. Lucius Malfoy had walked into his office, looking about at the clutter with an expression of faint distaste, and Arthur had become immediately defensive.
\"Is there something you\'d like, Malfoy?\"
\"Actually, yes, there is.\"
\"And what would that be?\"
\"I am given to understand that your youngest son\'s twelfth birthday is tomorrow, and that you do not have a defloration contract signed for him, is that right?\"
\"What does that have to do with anything? I don\'t see as it\'s any of your business.\"
\"I wish to make you an offer, Mr. Weasley. I will only make it once, and the terms are non-negotiable. I wish to deflower your son, and in order to overcome any reluctance on your part, I am willing to offer you 5000 galleons, in addition to the fact that I would be taking over all of your son\'s expenses.\"
\"Absolutely not! How dare you even-\" Arthur sprang up and slammed his fists on the desk.
\"Need I remind you that 5000 galleons will pay for all of your last four children\'s schooling, with enough left over to make any repairs to your home you desire?\" Lucius retained an icy calm.
\"No you don\'t need to remind me of that.\" Arthur seemed suddenly defeated. \"But it isn\'t enough to quiet my conscience, for sending my son to a man I don\'t trust.\"
\"And if I offered you a Wizard\'s Oath that I would not harm, nor knowingly allow harm to come to Ron?\"
\"Then, I would say yes, provided that I was allowed to set the penalties for breaking your Oath.\"
\"And what penalties would those be? Death and dismemberment?\"
\"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of baldness and impotence, myself.\"
\"I can agree to that. Now, I\'ve got a standard contract here. If you would be so kind as to fill in the blanks, I can go prepare a room for Ron.\" He went behind the desk and placed the parchment in front of them.
Arthur did so, and tapped his wand to the parchment, leaving a faint orange glow; Lucius tapped just below, and left a gray blue glow of his own. He then withdrew a ring from his pocket and presented it to Arthur.
\"This is a Portkey to my estate; it will activate at 8 pm, so please give it to Ron before then.\"
\"Very well. May I ask why you are so interested in my son?\"
With a vaguely twisted grin, Malfoy replied, \"I\'ve always had a thing for redheads.\" He then pinched Arthur\'s ass and disapparated, leaving a very confused Weasley behind.

A/N2: I\'m sorry it took so long to update, but I\'ve been rather obsessed with my new boyfriend. Seeing as I\'ve gotten my first flame, I\'ve decided on a policy: All flames will have their spelling and grammar corrected and then be returned to sender. And now, some possibly informative review responses... (Please read them!)

lacquer: Yes, Dark!Harry is fun, isn\'t he? I doubt that a LM/HP/SS threesome will occur, so don\'t hold your breath. Draco and Harry will probably have some kind of armed truce.

Lisn: Enthusiasm is always appreciated, particularly for things I like but have never before seen.

Tinkerhell: I really don\'t know how to write a threesome, so there probably won\'t be any, unless I find somebody who knows how to write them. Any volunteers?