Tonight's The Night
Sex Advice
CHAPTER FIVE
SEX ADVICE
She paced around her room for a long, long time, knowing there was no point in going to bed, she wouldn't be able to sleep. On the way up she had passed a closed door behind which she'd heard the rhythmic sound of creaking bedsprings. Was that Harry's room? Were he and Cho doing it right now?
The thought made her cry out in exasperation. This was supposed to have been her night. One of the most important nights of her life, and Harry was the one...
Oh, good grief, she needed a drink.
She stomped out of the room and down the stairs. She slowed as she went past the room with the creaking bed, but all was now quiet.
The party in the cellar had finished and all was now quiet. Just a row of fairy lights lit the bar area. The saloon beyond was dark, deserted and wreaking of beer and stale cigarette smoke.
She walked towards the bar just as the door leading to the muggle street was flung open and in rushed Harry, almost colliding with her.
They both cried out in surprise.
"Harry, what are you doing down here?" Her heart leaped with the faint hope he hadn't ended up in his room with Cho.
"Oh I...needed to...pop out for something..."
Hermione looked past him at the door.
"In the muggle street...what on earth..?"
"Well, because...because...I...oh, all right...I needed some...condoms - there's an all-night chemist..."
"You don't need condoms!" She laughed before she'd thought. "Just use the 'Recondo' charm."
"The what?"
Hermione felt her insides collapse with mortification as she realised what was happening. She was actually going to tell Harry how to have protected sex, wizard-style, with Cho.
"'Recondo'. You just...wave your wand...you know...before..."
Harry's face broke into a wide grin.
"Cheers Hermione. I'd heard about that charm, but I thought it was just a wind-up and I didn't want to take any chances. 'Recondo', huh? It's really handy knowing you, you know." He disappeared up the stairs, two at a time.
Now she really needed a drink.
Shuffling to the bar, she went behind and poured herself some...hmmm...Firewhisky and chinked some ice cubes in the glass. A little bell sounded, indicating the cost had been added to her bill.
A picture of Harry returning to Cho, triumphant...eager...hot...seered itself in her mind...
"Oh, Godddddd!" She banged her elbows on the bar and buried her head in her hands, trying to rid herself of the torturous images. Frustration knotted itself inside her stomach as she realised that, despite all her well-thought out plans, she'd got herself worked up for nothing.
Being a virgin hadn't bothered her until recently. Until she realised she knew all the theories but none of the practicalities. Her inquisitive mind had decided she had to experience sex and there was only one person she trusted enough to approach.
Sighing, she grabbed her glass and wandered into the dark and empty saloon, sitting down heavily in a threadbare tapestry-covered armchair.
"That was very noble of you, Granger." "What are you doing here?" She spat. "Same as you I expect - horny and nowhere to put it all. I've been watching the nocturnal life. It's amazing the things you see in the dark." He grinned at her. "So you've started giving Potter sex advice, have you?" "Shut up! I just wanted a drink." "Wanted or needed?" He swung his legs down from the sofa where he'd obviously been reclining, and looked at her. "You fancy him pretty bad, then?" "No, I don't actually, smart arse..." She was so uptight, she'd begun speaking totally out of character. "Look, I don't want to talk to you..." He got up from the sofa and came and sat in the armchair opposite her. "So you don't fancy him, but you...do mind him sleeping with someone else...hmmmm....you're hard to figure out, Granger." "Give it a rest, Malfoy," she said, rubbing her fingers over her eyebrow. I'm really not in the mood..." "Oh, but it seems to me you are in the mood, and have been most of the evening. Tell me, what do you plan doing with all that excess energy..?" "Don't you have some where to piss off to?" "Tut, tut; language, Granger. My, my - we are on edge tonight. I wonder, why ever could that be?" He looked at her. "I'm having another drink and you look as though you could do with one..." He came back to the chairs with another measure of Firewhisky each. "A toast!" he said, lifting his glass. "To Granger - may she finally get laid by Potter..." Hermione scowled at him. "And to me...and married life!" Hermione spat her Firewhisky back in the glass. "And what?!"