Will You Help Me Find Myself

‘Will You Help Me Find Myself ? ’


Chapter Five: Not What I Expected.


Lucius stared at the girl laying in his arms. His was amazed at how light thistle tle woman was. From what Draco had told him about this little witch she was a real menace and not at all attractive. He hadn’t seen Hermione Granger in at least a year. But in that time she had developed quite nicely. She was everything his late wife was not. She looked, when conscious, bright skinned and healthy. At this moment though she looked the colour of death. The bandage on her arm was smeared with blood. Harm had come tot this young woman while in the ground of the safest place she could be at the moment. From his knowledge Voldemort had no plans on attacking the school or any of its students. On the contrary, he wanted the school leaving for the moment. Lucius picked up the pale Hermione and made his way through to his private suite. The girls skin had taken a greyish sheen. She was still alive though.

Sitting next to her Lucius reached for the bandage covered arm and began to examine the covering. Finding one of the ends he began to unravel it. Even when just a few turns came loose Lucius could see the reason for the bleeding. A large slash marred her arm. Not only that but smaller scars of differing ages ran along the sides. Lucius was taken aback by what he was looking at. This perfect student was actually self harming. He always had been lead to believe that it was only failing students that went to such lengths to try and cope with the pressure of school life. A slight movement caught his eye. Hermione was beginning to respond to his touch. Moaning slightly as her eyes opened. After a slight look her eyes shot open as she realised exactly where she was and with whom. The bandage still in his hand Lucius lowered his voice t a mere whisper.

‘Hermione who gave you these marks on your arm? Was it some one or something else? Or was it yourself? If so why?’

Hermione simply stared at her arm. She had never wanted anyone to know her weakness. No one. Especially her enemyalisalising that it would be useless trying to lie to someone so powerful as Lucius Malfoy.

‘I didn’t realise it was so bad. I’ve never bled this much before.’

Ashamed of her self Hermione began to cry softly to herself. She didn’t want to do this, not here and not with him.

‘I think I should call for Albus and Poppy. Maybe they can help you get you something to……………’

‘No please I wont do it again I promise. Just please don’t tell anyone. I didn’t want anyone to know that I cant handle things I have too much to take care of. Please Professor Malfoy don’t say anything!’

‘Hermione you have a serious problem here. What you are doing could have killed you tonight. I have to do something. What if next time you go that little bit deeper and die. How do you think I would feel if that happened. Knowing I could have stopped it from happening.’

‘I would have thought you would be pleased that I out out of the way.’

Lucius looked shocked at the girls honesty. Yet also the small amount of truth that laid beneath the comment actually worried him. This woman was not afraid to speak her mind and from what he knew of her, a lot, that was very often indeed. But a feeling that he couldn’t let this hurting issue go he decided to take the direct approach.

‘Hermione do you want to die. You are a very intelligent and powerful witch you will be needed greatly in tp cop coming war against the Dark Lord many of your friends will need you in order to make the defeat a success.’

Hermione eyed the man in front of her. He was commenting on the defeat of Voldemort when he was known to be on his side. Surly he couldn’t have swapped sides at this late hour.

‘Im not sure whether I want to die. If im going to die in the war then way should I let myself die painfully when I could just end it now and get it over and done with. And who are you comment on the defeat of Voldemort, your on his side everyone knows.’

‘Hermione I defected along time ago but you cant just walk out of these things you have to wen your way out slowly as not to be caught and killed. I want a better life for my son then one ruled under the Dark Lord he has ideas that shocked even me. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I left.’

Taken aback Hene cne could see in his eyes that he meant every word. Reaching over she took his hand and squeezed it.

‘Im sorry Professor I just always believed that you part of it all.’

‘I was. I cant blame you for your assumption.’

It was at that moment that both seemed to realise exactly where they were and how long they had been there. Hermione swung her legs off the bed and stood at the same moment as Lucius did the same thing. Walking back into the classroom Hermione re wrapped her arm in the bandage.

‘Hermione I want you to come and see me if you ever feel the need to cut yourself. I know what you think of me but I need you to understand that now im here, im here to help not to harm. I want us to put the past behind us and start anew.’

Reaching the door Hermione turned and looked at Lucius through everything that had hap happen the one thought still played through her mind ‘God he looks really handsome in those robes’

‘Ok Professor and thnk you for your help and support,’

With that Hermione left the classroom and made her way to her privert suite with Draco. Leaning back against his desk Lucius studied the door.

‘This is going to be easier then I thought. I got her where I want her.’

With that Lucius laughed to himself and re-entered his room.

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A/N thank you for all your review I love to actually get feed back on my writing it helps me improve. Im currently working on a diary in the original section under journals and rants if you want to check it out. I t may explain why I put things in here that I do.