I Want to Touch You

I Want to Touch You: Chapter Five

That night Fred didn\'t come to George\'s bed. George lay still as wood above his covers listening to the sounds of the night. He slipped his hand between his legs for comfort and fell asleep.

The next day the students went to Hogsmeade. Fred and George, however, were forbidden to join them because of an incident involving rats and explosives the year before. As the other students filtered out of the common room the twins were left alone, sitting on a couch near the fireplace.

Neither one said anything. George couldn\'t remember a time when they had ever been uncomfortable with each other. He wished things could just go back to the way they\'d been before.

\"Fag?\"

\"Sorry?\"

\"Do you want a fag?\" Fred proffered a cigarette to George.

\"Oh. Oh, yeah, sure.\" George took it and leaned in to Fred\'s wand, which lit the cigarette. He wasn\'t worried about the smell lasting. They knew a spell that would get rid of any odor in the room.

George sucked on it and felt a little less tense. Fred was looking at him curiously. \"You want something to drink?\" He pulled out a few thin flasks of clear liquid from his robe.

\"Yeah. Yeah, sure,\" he said, reaching for one of them. He brought it to his lips and then spit the liquid out. Fred laughed at him.

\"Jesus, this is strong. What is it?\" George said.

\"Don\'t ask,\" said Fred. \"It does the trick, that\'s all that matters.\"

It took only a few swigs for George to relax. He leaned back and smiled lazily across the couch at Fred. \"You want to play chess?\" he asked.

They brought the chess board between them on the couch and began to play. Within a few minutes, however, they had abandoned the game and were laughing and ordering their knights to punch in the queen\'s face. When all the players on the board were thoroughly injured, the twins dumped the game onto the floor. They were both giggling now, as each had consumed about half of the contents of one of the flasks. They weren\'t completely drunk, though. Just a bit past tipsy and relaxed.

\"I\'m tired!\" exclaimed Fred as he lay down on the couch and placed his head in George\'s lap. George stroked his brother\'s hair and smiled down at Fred\'s content face. They were both happy. It had been a while since they had been left alone. The absence of their peers along with the alcohol allowed them to be themselves for once.

Fred furrowed his brow and said, \"I\'m hot. Are you hot?\" He leaned up to take off his robe and then peeled off his shirt. He lay back down. \"Ah, much better.\" George appreciated the sight and felt the warmth of the alcohol spread further through his body. Fred looked up at him. \"You should take your shirt off too, George. Your face looks hot.\"

George peeled off his shirt, glad for the feeling of cool air against his warm skin. Fred stared at his chest with a slightly slackened jaw and lidded eyes. George watched him as Fred sat up slowly and scooted back so that his bare back touched the side of George\'s leg.

Fred placed his whole palm on George\'s far shoulder and George breathed in deeply at the touch. Fred moved his hand slowly to George\'s neck and rubbed it with his palm. George shuddered, attempting not to move. His eyes were on Fred\'s, which were focused on the place where his hand met flesh.

Fred looked up and smiled briefly at George before leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips. George closed his eyes and raised his hand tentatively behind Fred\'s head, placing it on the back of his neck as they kissed softly again. He relished the explosive feeling of soft lips grazing his own. He felt his brother\'s perfect ivory nose against his face and leaned back, pulling Fred with him. They kissed deeply as their bare chests made contact.

Their tongues touched and George slid his easily into Fred\'s eager mouth. He pulled on Fred\'s upper and lower lip, tasting the salt on his skin, and then pressed his lips more firmly against his brother\'s mouth and nose. His hands lowered and moved hungrily over Fred\'s back.

But when he felt Fred\'s hand clumsily fingering the zipper of his pants, George panicked and broke away.

Fred seemed to have realized the gravity of their actions, because he looked away and then shifted quickly to a sitting position and put his face in his hands. George sat upright, breathing hard. Both were ashamed of their excited state and tried to calm themselves.

After a few minutes they both put on their shirts and sat in a silent mutual reverie. Neither wanted to verbally confront the pressing issue. Eventually Fred turned to his brother. \"I\'m sorry, George,\" he said clearly.

\"For what?\" asked George incredulously.

Fred didn\'t want to have to say it. \"For - for initiating - for kissing you,\" he finally got out.

\"It was as much my fault as yours,\" said George. For some reason Fred\'s apology made him bitter.

\"No one can know about this,\" Fred stated.

\"Gee, did you come up with that all by yourself, Einstein?\" George mocked bitterly.

\"You don\'t have to be so angry at me, I said I was sorry -\"

\"It\'s not your fault!\" shouted George. \"I wanted to -\" He stopped himself, looking scared, and calmed himself down. \"Listen, Fred, we had - we had too much to drink. It\'s no big deal. Let\'s just forget it, okay.\"

Fred looked at him sadly. \"Yeah, George, okay.\"

But George knew that he would want Fred even after the effects of the alcohol wore off. And he dreaded the inevitable dreams recounting Fred\'s sweet tongue playing against his own.