The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter
Five

By
darthelwig

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I
don’t own the characters, and I’m not making a profit off this story.

This
story is rated R.

Thank
you to everyone who has reviewed me thus far. I appreciate the input.

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style='mso-tab-count:1'> Hermione spent the next couple of
days in a fog.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Ginny didn’t make another advance,
though Hermione could see the desire in her friend’s eyes. She didn’t know what
to do about it. She was happy with Ron. He was everything she had hoped for,
everything she had dreamed. He treated her pretty well, for a guy who didn’t
get the slightest thing about girls, and he tried his best to make her happy.
This was what she had always wanted, wasn’t it?

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Yet, though she spent every waking
moment she could with him and every night in his arms, her mind still dwelled
on Ginny. She could still feel the burning desire for Ginny’s touch along every
nerve ending in her body. A single look from Ginny was all it took to send her
heart racing with passion. How could she love Ron so much and still want so
badly to make love to his sister?

style='mso-tab-count:1'> The worst part was, Ginny seemed to
know exactly the effect she was having on Hermione’s frazzled nerves. She
played Hermione liked a well-tuned instrument, shooting her heated glances
which inflamed the tempest of her desire during inopportune moments. She was
arousing Hermito tto the point of a frenzy without laying one finger on her.
Ron had never done such a thing to her. She wasn’t sure he was capable of it.
The pleasure they found together wasn’t nearly the same as the ecstasy she had
found in Ginny’s arms. What did that mean? Was she ready to give up on Ron now
that she finally had him? Is that what was right? Is that what she really
wanted?

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Questions plagued her. For the first
time in her life, her mind had no answers to give. She had never planned for
this eventuality, had never imagined it could even happen. She had no idea how
to continue. What was real and true and lasting? She had nothing to base her
judgment on. There were no books to help her on this subject and no one she
felt comfortable asking. She couldn’t go to Harry. He was Ron’s best friend.
She couldn’t put him in that position. And she had no other close friends
available to her. The person she had always discussed these things with had
been Ginny.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Problem was, she wanted Ginny. She
could no longer deny it. The knot of desire Ginny had awoken in her had never faded.
Ron couldn’t touch it, no matter what he did to her in bed. Only Ginny had been
able to stroke that flame, build it up and release it to burn her up from the
inside out. Hermione supposed she should be afraid of it, intense as it was,
but she couldn’t bring herself to be. It was a part of her, a part only Ginny
could reach.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> She wished that she could make a
decision already. It was unfair to do this to Ron, and she didn’t want to hurt
him. But she also found herself yearning for Ginny to touch her again, aching
for the time when her secret lover would end this cat-and-mouse game and simply
take her, like she had two days ago. That memory kept replaying in Hermione’s
mind, driving her mad with lust. If Ron noticed anything, he didn’t seem to
mind, but her body was in overdrive and it was all Ginny’s doing.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> This intensity of emotion was
completely new to Hermione. Ron had never been able to inspire such a wide
range of need within her. Yet Ginny, who had never been more than a friend
before this, had ignited her deepest desires.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Was this love? Was this intense,
prowling thing within her heart the first stirrings of a deep, abiding passion?
How could she know? This was nothing like the stories had promised. There was
no definite knowledge in her soul crying out that this was the love she had
always yearned for. There was only the fact that she was closer to Ginny than
to most people and cared for her deeply. And, above all, her longings were all
directed at the other girl.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> If this was love, then, what to do
about it? Should she wait and see? Wouldn’t that hurt Ron more than if she
simply told him what was in her heart right now? And what about Ginny’s
feelings? She didn’t want to make her wait, especially if she was going to be
Hermione’s choice of destiny.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Perhaps Ginny had been right. Did
she want the safe, pleasant love that Ron could provide her, or the passionate,
consuming love that Ginny held out so willingly? Her head told her to stay with
Ron but her heart demanded more. If she had found her mad, ardent love in
Ginny, didn’t she owe it to herself to take it?

style='mso-tab-t:1't:1'> Hermione knew what her answer had to
be.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> She wanted it all. She wanted
everything life had to offer, and Ginny was it. Ron made her happy, but it
wasn’t how she had imagined things would be. She had found the heated fervor
she had been longing for all her life innyinny’s arms, not his. Did she love
Ginny? Was it more than just lust that she was feeling?

style='mso-tab-count:1'> She thought it might be. Her heart
told her it was. It was just hard not to listen to her head, when she had spent
her entire life so far doing just that. But she would not let herself ruin this
chance for true happiness. She and Ginny shared something special, and she
would allow nothing to interfere with that.

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Now all she had to do was let Ron
down. Easier said than done.

style='mso-tab-count:1'>