Inky Fingers

The usual disclaimers apply. Those bits you recogniseong ong to J. K. Rowling. The perversion is mine (with a bit of help from my friends). I own absolutely no rights at all to the Harry Potter universe.

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How strange it felt to be back at Hogwarts!

Hermione turned slowly around, taking in the vista before her. The grounds were much as she remembered them - the Forest a little thicker, perhaps, Squirmy's lake a little muddier around the banks but overall the same.

It still felt wrong not to climb the staircases to Gryffindor Tower, but she was sure she would get used to it in time. She had a nice suite of rooms near the Library. Her office had adjoining doors to both library and sitting room. From the sitting room she had a neat little bedroom (complete with four-poster bed, naturally, this time with purple and gold draperies rather than the red of Gryffindor and large enough to hold a party in, should she be so inclined) and a private bathroom with a tub deep enough to drown in. Like the Prefect's bathroom, it had a selection of taps each proffering a different hedonistic delight and Hermione was looking forward to trying them all.

It was still quiet. A few of the teachers were in residence, but the students wouldn't be arriving for another 2 days. Hermione had been back at the school for a week, learning the ropes from Madam Pince. How very different she seemed now - much frailer than when Hermione had been a student. Privately, Hermione suspected that Madam Pince would not be returning soon, if at all. Always thin, she seemed positively skeletal now, and even paler than the ghosts.

"Oh, you are in SO much trouble" the voice of Moaning Myrtle, a Hogwarts ghost for over 50 years, floated towards Hermione sounding as cheerful as she did only when someone was about to catch it. "You've been here for a week, but you've only been down to see Squirmy twice. He's feeling quite neglected!"

"Oh Myrtle!" said Hermione, a hint of exasperation in her voice. "Squirmy and I are not exclusive. He sleeps with lots of people, he doesn't pine away for my company. I've had a very full week and he understands that."

"Yes, he sleeps with lots of people. Mostly students. Of the very few staff who are interested in him, only you are here right now. And you're neglecting him. He needs a lot of loving. He's a very sensitive Squid, you know."

"Yes. He is a very sensitive Squid. He understands that this is a busy week, that I have a lot to learn and that I really don't have time for sex just now. He also knows that I'm going to be here at least a year, if not more. There's no need to spend every waking moment joined.

"You, however, are about as sensitive as a housebrick. You died a virgin, but you're absolutely fascinated by sex like most adolescents. You just want to watch. Again. The next time I go and visit my favourite squid I might just have to put up an Exorcism Charm on the lake so you can't come anywhere near us."

Myrtle's translucent eyes filled with great, pearly tears. "You...how could you say something so awful to me? I ... oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" With a despairing wail, Myrtle dived into the nearest toilet and vanished into the plumbing.

'That takes care of that' thought Hermione, smiling to herself. 'Still, she has a point. It's so lovely being back here again, with Squirmy to take care of Those needs instead of relying on myself. I just might pay him a visit tonight, after supper.'

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Severus Snape stared at the scene before him. He had returned to the school a few hours previously and thought it might be fun to visit the Lake. With all the little horrors - students, he corrected himself firmly - returning in less than two days he might not get another chance for a while. Yet there she was. A lushy-curvaceous female form (some might say overly chubby, but he preferred a woman with meat on her bones) was cavorting in HIS lake. In the arms of HIS Squid.

Yes, yes. He knew that the Squid took a number of partners. Usually, however, he chose from among the students. As far as Severus was aware, there were no other Squirmy Playthings among the staff - but the students were not back yet. This young woman was not as old as most of the staff, but she was certainly older than the students judging by the spread of her hips and the generosity of her breasts. He didn't recognise her, though. She must be a new staff member. Merlin knew there had been enough of them in the past few years as the legacy of the War caught up with everyone.

He drew back into the shadows of the bushes, glad that his black robes would blend so nicely. There would be no chance that he would disturb them, yet he could pleasure himself while watching them. Things were obviously too far along for him to join them, this time. Perhaps later.

He sat, and watched, admiring her enthusiasm.

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Hermione had no idea they were being watched. Squirmy noticed Severus' arrival but made no comment. Maybe he could sound out the two of them about a three-way engagement. It had been far too long since his last threesome.

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A/N This is turning out to be rather longer than I ever intended. Thank you to those who have encouraged me along the way.

Flu, since yours was the original idea for this, I guess you must be at least as much of a perv as I am. I would never have come up with Squidly Loving on my own!