Albus, I\'ve Knocked Up a Weasley

I’m such a liar. Got it done way ahead of schedule. Wish the rest of life was like that! Well, other stuff that should have been done was put off and here is the complete chapter five! Hope it’s up to snuff!

Chapter Five: Show, Tell and Hide!

Ron had become quite adept at hiding from Harry. Ever since The Boy Who Lived had gifted him with the over sized book of baby names two months before, he had been following his pregnant friend around, reading out the names, making comments on the suitability of each one.

It was worse than the slightly cock-eyed clothes that were Harry’s first attempts at knitting.

What was even worse was that Ron had begun to show. This lead to several things; his mum cooing and fawning over him more than usual, Harry following him around and being over protective more than usual, various students asking if they could feel his lump, and, weirdest of all, he kept catching Snape shooting him odd looks he couldn’t decipher.

It was during an exam in the hospital wing with Madame Pomphrey that the man in question actually approached him, looking uneasy at being there.

“How are you feeling, Weasley?”

“Um, alright,” the redhead replied, finding the less than biting tone odd. Last time Snape had been this pleasant with him, he’d just failed an exam and the teacher had trouble containing his laughter.

“I see you’re finally showing. That must be awkward,” Snape continued, looking as if every word was painful.

“Yeah, a little,” Ron shrugged, thinking that it wasn’t nearly as awkward as their conversation; a little less painful… maybe.

“So, can you feel it moving yet?”

Suddenly, Ron felt like he had a better lock on the conversation. Several girls had already approached him, asking if the baby had started kicking, wanting to feel it move. He supposed Snape, as the other father and despite his insistence on not having anything to do with the baby, wanted to feel it kick, too.

“Not yet. Madame Pomfrey said I probably wouldn’t feel it until sometime next month.”

“Ah, well, good day then.”

And the man left in a swirl of robes, as quickly as was dignified.

***

//Have you lost your ever loving mind?// Severus thought to himself furiously as he hightailed it back towards the dungeons. //”Can you feel it moving yet?” Why don’t you just bloody ask him if you can put your hand over his stomach! Then maybe dinner and dancing!//

Continuing his sarcastic commentary in his head, Severus nearly ran into Hermione.

//Blast! Haven’t I learned to watch where I’m going?//

“Five points from Gryffindor for not paying attention to where you are going, Miss Granger!” he grated out without so much as braking his stride.

The young woman, who had been avoiding him since their encounter before Christmas, looked back with slightly frightened eyes. As she watched him disappear around a corner, however, her disquiet faded and something warm settled in the pit of her stomach.

“Get a hold of yourself, girl,” she chastised herself quietly. “You start this and you’ll be having to ask Harry and Ron to take you to St. Mungo’s after all.”

“Take you where?” Harry asked, giving her another fright. “Didn’t catch all that.”

“Oh, never mind, just talking to myself again,” she replied brightly, trying not to turn red. “I’m glad you’re here, Harry. I need your help.”

“What with?”

“Molly and I have some dates set up for Ron. We need help getting him there.”

Harry’s face fell. He tried to tug on a smile, but he wasn’t quick enough to fool his bushy haired friend. She placed a comforting hand on his arm.

“Harry, I know you fancy Ron,” she said as gently as she could. This was a delicate subject that no one had brought up yet, and it was obvious that Harry didn’t really want it to be discussed as he shook his head in fervent denial. “Yes, you do. And it’s ok, but you have to face the fact that as much as Ron loves you, it will never be what you’re wanting. He can’t help liking women, any more than you can help liking men.”

Harry nodded and roughly wiped at his eyes, refusing to let them tear up.

“I know,” he said in a sad but strong voice. “I know. I’ve always known, but I guess with him being pregnant, I’ve let myself get carried away. I just… I wish….”

“I know, Harry,” Hermione interjected when it looked like Harry wasn’t going to be able to finish his thought. “It’s ok to get a little carried away, though. He’s your best friend and he’s all right with you going on about the baby, even if all the attention is a little weird for him. Honestly, he’s so dense. He doesn’t realize how you feel, and I certainly won’t tell. There’s no point in making this even more difficult for you.”

“Thanks, Hermione. I’m really glad you’re on my side. So. What do you need me to do to make sure Ron has a nice, romantic evening with his potential girl of his dreams?”

“Ah, I was just on my way to see Molly. Come along and join in our dastardly plans.”

Arm in arm, they walked off laughing, not noticing a certain b Sly Slytherin hiding in the shadows, thinking of dastardly deeds of his own.

***

Severus had made it back to his rooms, arguing with himself internally all the way.

“I know how to shut that voice up,” he sneered as he lit his fire and walked over to his liquor cabinet. “Let’s see, not something to get me drunk, that won’t do anything but make me maudlin. A buzz would be nice. Something to warm –“

“Severus! So glad you’re in your rooms.”

Snape squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of the headmaster speaking to him from his fireplace. He gripped the shelf in front of him until his knuckles turned white, ducked his head and began to count to backwards from ten, slowly. Once he was certain he wouldn’t yell, he turned around.

“Albus, what brings yo my my fireplace this evening?”

“I need you to come to my office. I have your latest supply requisition and I think there’s been a mistake in the number of dung beetle wings.”

“Can’t we discuss that now? There is no need for me to leave my rooms, especially since I have just arrived here and was hoping to relax,” Snape was striving for calm, and even thoug kne knew his voice was clipped, he thought he was doing a rather superb job.

“Actually, yes we could. Or I could have brought it up over breakfast, but there is a former student of yours here. I was hoping it to be a surprise, but I should have known better with you.”

And the bastard’s eyes were twinkling as he said this. Severus glared daggers and wished he had yelled after all or at least pretended he hadn’t seen him and dropped something explosive into the fire.

***

Severus was certain he was in hell. Yes, it was one of his former students that had come to visit the school. Adrian Blott, a member of his house and Hogwarts graduate six years prior was visiting in order to put in his resume for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position that would once again be vacant the coming year. The boy had been a favorite of his and he would be sure to let Albus know he supported him having the position. If only the man hadn’t brought his guest.

Severus currently had his arms full of a cooing, arm waving, toothless grinning, three-month-old baby. He hated children. She was adorable. She was drooling. She smiled and made cute noises while looking up at him. He was certain it was gas, not him, that was having that affect. She was so soft. He scowled. She gave a short laugh.

“Professor, I think that was her first real laugh!” Adrian exclaimed. “Samantha really likes you.”

“Yes, Profr Snr Snape seems to be very good with babies,” Albus smiled from behind his desk.

//Meddling fool…// Snape thought with pure venom, not realizing he had let the child start gnawing on a finger. //I bet he asked Mr. Blott to bring the brat with him. Trying to prove a point to me, I’d wager. Well, he’s got another think coming. Holding one sweet baby is not going to make me want one of my own. Sweet? Not anymore!//

“Mr. Blott. Your daughter is lovely. She has also filled her pants.” Snape held the baby out to her father like he were handling some painfully osivosive substance, the look of disdain on his face making his feelings on the subject very clear.

“Speaking of which,” he continued, whirling to Dumbledore, “you wanted to see me about dung beetle wings?”

***

“I can’t believe you, of all people, are insisting I do an interview,” Ron whined as Harry adjusted the boy’s dress robes.

“It’ll be good for you,” Harry replied. “Get your story and how you’re feeling out there for the world to see. Not just what that crazy Boomslang woman wants the w to to see.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Harry felt a mild twinge of guilt. He was l thr through his teeth. The woman Ron was about to meet in Hogsmeade wasn’t a reporter, but one of the many women who had been sending him marriage proposals since the first article the Daily Prophet had put out. The guilt of lying was only mild in comparison to other hurt Harrs exs experiencing. The hurt of handing over his Ron to someone else to dote over.

//But that’s just it…// he thought as the two headed out of the castle and towards Ron’s meeting. //He’s not my anything. Never has been, never will be. The sooner I get over this, the better off I’ll be. I’ll take care of him in my own way, just not in the way I had always hoped I’d be able to.//

That’s what he thought, despite the fact that he was contemplating a twisted ankle so they could go bao tho the castle.

***

Harry was deep in thought on their way to Hogsmeade so Ron kept siles wes well. He was nervous about the interview and wondered what kind of questions would be asked. The reporter from the Daily Prophet didn’t so much as ask questions as ask for confirmation of her own statements. This was supposed to be different.

They stopped in front of the restaurant, a nicer one than the pub they usually frequented on Hogsmeade weds, ds, and they walked in. Ron could just see, over in a corner, a dark haired woman sitting alone that fit the reporter’s description.

“I think I see the reporter from… hey, Harry, where’s the reporter from? Mum never told me.”

“She’s not a reporter,” Harry bit out as he led Ron to the table. “She’s your date. Maggie Frost, Ron Weasley. Enjoy!”

With that, Harry pushed a startled Ron into his seat and all disappeared faster then a Demiguise.

“Hello, Ron,” breathed the slightly older and very beautiful woman in front of him.

***

“Harry, prepare to have a scar on your athatthat matches the one on your other arse!”

Wide eyed, Harry backed away from a very angry Ron.

“Um, Ron, you’re back already? Didn’t go well?”

“Didn’t go well? he asks. Bloody hell, it was a disaster! First of all, you lied to me! Second of all, that woman was looking at me as if I was a cross between a fine wine and a lab experiment! Did you know she’s a potions mistress from Switzerland? Been working on a male pregnancy potion. Not only does she want to marry me and keep me tied to her bed for god knows what, but she wants samples of my blood! She’s worse than Snape!”

“I didn’t know she was a potions mistress,” Hermione mused from her place on the couch in front of the fire in the common room. “Since you’re not interested in her, I wonder if Professor Snape would be.”

“She’s got a thing for young studs!” Ron nearly shrieked, horror written plainly over his face as he recalled being pawed by the woman. d and anyway… hey! You were in on this! And mum was too, I bet! Oh, you’re all going to pay if you ever! Ever! Try this again!”

Ron turned to storm off to the boy’s dormitory. Half way up the stairs he doubled back and pointed a finger at Hermione.

“You! Tell my mum I’m not speaking to her!”

***

“Ron.”

“Go away, Harry. I’m not speaking to you either.”

“You just did.”

“Well, I’m not going to anymore, starting right now.”

Harry rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of Ron’s bed. He had rolled to his side and thrown the blanket over his head, but that wasn’t about to stop Harry from trying to get through to him.

“I am so sorry, Ron,” he started, a pleading note in his voice. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I had no idea that woman was a psycho and I didn’t realize you’d feel so betrayed by that little lie. I should have, though. I should have thought how I would feel if you had done that to me. I can’t apologize enough but I can promise that I will never, ever do that to you again. I swear on the head of your unborn child, I will not set you up on a blind date again unless you’re aware of it and approve.”

Ron threw the blanket off his head and looked back up at Harry with narrowed eyes.

“Melodramatic, aren’t we? Is it your time of the month? Want some chocolates?”

“Hey! I’m trying to apologize here!”
ne, ne, apology accepted, just stop being a weird prat while you’re at it. ‘I swear on the head of your unborn child.’ Been listening to my Mums stories on the Wizard Wireless have you?”

Harry pulled the pillow out from under his friend’s head and whacked him over the head with it.

“Oi, get your own pillow!” Ron laughed.

“Friends again?” Harry asked, clutching the pillow in his arms.

“Alright, if you promise no more poutin
T
They smiled at each other for a moment and then Ron got an odd look on his face.

“Ron? You alright?”

“Yeah, I think I just felt the baby kick! Yeah, there it goes again!”

He grabbed Harry’s hand and placed it on the bulge of his stomach. The baby kicked again, and Harry gasped.

“I felt it!” he said excitedly, his eyes becoming suspiciously bright. “Are you supposed to be feeling it already?”

“Well, Madame Pomfrey said it would happen either in the fifth or sixth month, and this being my first, and the gods help me, only, baby, probably not until the sixth.”

“Well, you’re almost into the sixth month, now. I can’t believe it. We’ve been so wrapped up in you having a baby; I hadn’t realized that it’s almost the end of the year. We’re going to be graduating Hogwarts soon, and you’re going to the Burrow to have your baby. You know what this means, don’t you?”

“That our lives are going to be totally and completely turned on their heads from here on out?”

“No, silly, that we have got to find the perfect name for that baby!” Ron looked briefly bewildered. The names again. Oh well, it’s not like he hadn’t gotten used to this. “Have you decided if you’re going to find out what gender it’s going to be?”

“No, mum wants to be surprised and I’m going with what she wants since I’m planning on just handing the kid over once it’s born.”

“So, you’re still planning on that?”

“Yeah. What wou would I do?”

“Oh, well, he or she will still need a name. We have to get a move on! We’re only to the L’s.”

***

They had finally made it to graduation day. Ron was at the end of his second trimester and he had suddenly gone from having a lump in front of him to being down right huge. It had seemed to happen over night, much to his annoyance. Everyone kept assuring him it was normal to suddenly ‘pop.’ He just wished his knees would stop popping every time he sat up.

Harry had made it down to the W’s of 1,000,001 Mystical Baby Names and seemed bound and determined to get the rest of the way through it, leaving Ron with a list of nearly a thousand suitable names to choose from, Harry’s favorites marked in red. If he was satisfied in doing it on his own, it wouldn’t be so bad, but he felt that Ron needed to be in on the naming of his child, so he wanted the other’s input.

Which is why Ron was at that moment, heading down a hallway as fast as he could. He had spotted Harry, book floating in front of him, pages turning. He knew the dark haired boy was looking for him. He had to find a hiding place. He had turned down the only available hallway he could find just before that hallway branched off to the library and he knew that Harry would have to turn that way, too.

He was so intent on finding a hiding place and keeping track of how close his friend was by the sound of his mutterings that he had almost run into Snape. The older man grabbed him by the shouldersepineping him upright and from actually making contact. Ron looked up at the man’s stern face and raised eyebrow.

“Mr. Weasley, considering that this is exactly how we got into this predicament,” he said, motioning to the other man’s stomach, “I’d think that you would have learned to watch where you are going.”

The footsteps behind him were getting louder. Harry was about to turn the corner. In mild panic, Ron grabbed trontront of Snape’s robes in his fist. The potions master looked like he was about to rip him limb from limb for such a violation.

“Harry is on his way and he has The Book!”

Comprehension dawned. Snape’s scowl changed to loo pan panic that rivaled Ron’s and he grabbed the redhead by the wrist and began dragging him down the hall. Ron wasn’t the only one Harry thought should have a say in the baby’s name. Harry had faced down and defeated Voldermort. Ever since that, he’d thought Snape’s scowls and death glares were funny, in an adorable way.

“I know the perfect spot.”

They had only gone a few more feet before Snape was pulling him behind a suit of armor and into what looked like a solid wall. It was, instead, a small alcove that was only disguised to look like a solid wall. There really wasn’t enough space for the three of them. Snape found himself with Ron’s stomach pressed against his back.

***

He could see Harry, but Harry couldn’t see him. Severus held his breath as the boy slowly walked past their hiding place, looked around and moved forward.

“Is he gone?” Ron whispered from behind him.

“He’s headed away, but that way leads to the dungeons. If he is looking for you, he won’t go far. He’ll head back.”

“What if he’s looking for you?”

Severus shuddered at the thought.

“Give it another minute. If it’s me he’s looking for, he’ll still be gone and I’ll finmewhmewhere other than the dungeons to hide. If it’s you, he’ll walk past us again by then.”

Thirty seconds later, Snape felt something in the small of his back that nearly made him jump out of the hiding place.

“What the devil was that?” he hissed.

“Oh, the baby kicked. Sorry.”

Severus felt his eyes go slightly wide and stamped down on the feelings that were threatening. This child would be raised a Weasley, and that was all there was to it.

“The little bugger’s active today. Must know we’re getting out of here tomorrow. Want to feel?”

//No, of course I don’t, you imbecile!// S tho thought furiously even as he turned around and lightly put his hand on Weasely’s stomach. Ron moved his hand over and pressed down a little harder. There was another kick.

“Xavier’s good, but I don’t think it would suit a child of Ron’s,” he heard from behind him. “Where did he go? Could have sworn I saw him come down this way.”

Severus held his breath again, his hand held in place while Weasley craned his neck to look over his shoulder, watching Harry move down the hallway. There was another kick, slightly to the side of where it had happened last time, but still where he could feel it.

“Alright, I think he’s gone,” Ron whispered, letting go of the other man’s hand.

Severus nodded and, without a word, stepped out of the alcove and headed quickly towards the dungeons. He needed a drink and this time, he needed more than a buzz. Though from the somewhat far off dazed look, he appeared to already have a good buzz going.

TBC…

Next time – Don’t forget Draco learning of Harry’s little secret! What is he going to do and how is Ron fairing at the Burrow? How is Severus fairing period? Find out next time, whenever I get a chance to write it!