Careless Whisper

12.13.03

Thanks for all the reviews! It keeps me going. I\'m up to the 8th chapter, I\'m getting ready to send the 6th off to be beta-ed. I\'m sorry if you hate cliff-hangers, but they seem to get reviews, and I thrive off of reviews! So I have to do it that way! :)

Disclaimer: You know I don’t own these characters because if I did, then Harry and Draco would have been together by book five and I wouldn’t need to write this little ficlet.
Careless Whisper
Ch 5 -- Relax

After finishing up with Blaise, Draco stormed out of the castle. How in the world could she have done this to him? To Harry? She had been so happy for them both; she had said they were wonderful together. They had spent their last Christmas holiday with her. What in the hell was going on?

Seeing that Draco was more than distracted, Dumbledore had volunteered to see that Zabini arrived at the Ministry of Magic in a fitful fashion. Subtlety was key, as a story of this size would cause a field day at The Daily Prophet. They would want interviews, and it was obvious to all involved that Draco was not up to an interview just then.

Draco headed back to his apartment in Chelsea and began throwing items into a suitcase. He would be gone for several days; of that much he was sure. Not understanding why anything had even happened, Draco felt unprepared for what he would be up against. He couldn’t begin to imagine the possible outcomes. But permission be damned, he would see Harry before his next stop.


Hermione had begun to pace in the hall outside Harry’s room. Ron watched her, counting the steps it took her to get from one end of the hall to the other. 26 up, 26 back. 26 up, she stopped. “Ron, we have to bring Draco here. Forget what Neville says, he has to be here. Harry is killing himself. We can’t just sit here and keep him to ourselves. Draco needs to say something to Harry, even if it is only goodbye,” Hermione said hurriedly.

Ron looked at his wife with his eyes growing. “Hermione, Harry is not going to die. But Draco may need to get here sooner than later, I agree. I’ll go home and owl him right away,” Ron said.

With a pop, Ron was gone and Hermione resumed her endless pacing up and down the hall.


*****


Draco was on his way out the door when there was a tapping at the living room window. Seeing Ron’s owl, Draco ran to the window and opened the latch. Taking the message, Draco absentmindedly gave the bird a treat before shooing him out the window.

“Draco,

Neville wanted to wait a few days before you came to visit Harry. Hermione and I have talked it over and decided we don’t care what Neville says. Get your ass over here as soon as you can!

Ron”

The note fell to the floor as a pop broke the silence of the apartment. Draco had apparated to St. Mungo’s.


*****


Draco appeared directly in Hermione’s path and the two fell to the floor as she collided with him.

“Where is he?” Draco asked, skipping formalities.

“He’s in there. He’s been in there. Neville hasn’t come back out to tell us
anything yet. His brainwave and pulse monitors started going crazy. We’ve been out here for about an hour and a half now. Just have a seat and wait with us,” Hermione said.

Draco sat and idly picked up a copy of Quibbler. There was Harry’s picture in the gossip pages. He had been shopping at Diagon Alley. Draco looked at the moving picture of Harry and frowned. How long had Harry been that gaunt? The image had an unhealthy pallor to it. Had he done this to Harry? Draco would never forgive himself for what happened between the two of them. If only he’d given Harry the chance to explain. He hoped Harry was a better man than he was.

Sitting there, D rem remembered the first time he had taken Harry up on his offer outside Potions that day:
Draco gulped as he walked to the Quidditch Pitch. He steeled himself, pulling on his signature aura of confidence. Harry would be down any minute, until then Draco had time to prepare his speech.

He watched as the other boy flew effortlessly and gracefully before him. Harry was a genius on a broom, making moves and patterns rivaled only by professional players. Harry was born to be on a broom.

Harry landed moments later and ambled over to Draco. “So, what brings you here, Malfoy?” Harry had asked him, as though he knew the answer already.
“You…made an offer once, Potter. I’m wondering if that offer still stands,” Draco finally managed.

Harry’s emerald eyes lit up. “So you’ve come to your senses then?”

“Uh…well, I was just curious. I mean, the Golden Boy makes you an offer, you can’t very well refuse forever,” Draco said lamely.

Harry had walked directly up to him, stopping only inches from Draco’s own mouth. “You’re not ready, yet. Leave, don’t come back until you’ve gotten rid of all your doubts,” Harry said before turning towards the locker rooms.

Draco let him walk halfway across the pitch before he came to his senses. “Harry. Wait. There aren’t any doubts. I’m not sure there ever were,” he called.

Harry turned and made his way back to Draco. “I’m ready, now,” Draco said.
Smiling, Harry had dropped his gear and cupped Draco’s face in his hands. With the tenderness of someone handling a newborn, Harry caressed Draco’s face and pulled him into the sweetest of kisses.

Draco kicked himself, remembering that day.

The war had started a week later and he had been forced to sever all communication with y. y. He had resumed not his coldness and Malfoy meanness but an even more injurious indifference. It had all been for Harry’s own safety, but Draco could only imagine how it had appeared to the boy. And the last day before he left for Voldemort, Draco had said that stupid thing. He only wanted Harry to know that Draco was on his side, but it was a statement he had regretted as soon as it was out of his mouth because it was apparent Harry had taken it the wrong way. Draco had never been good with words. Had he ever brought Harry anything but pain?


*****


At the thought of Malfoy, funny it sounded as though Neville were in his head, Harry found himself looking on a scene from Hogwarts.
He and Draco had been secretly meeting for several days. Just as suddenly as it began, it ended.

Harry had been so sure that Draco felt something for him. Of course, Harry hadn’t expected Draco to mirror his own feelings of love, but he felt that Draco could be persuaded with time.
Then Draco had abruptly acted even more cruelly than before. At least when Draco was his archenemy, Harry still had a chance to interact with the other boy. This indifference that Draco had started nearly destroyed Harry. He didn’t understand what he had done to the Slytherin to make him act with such ambivalence towards him. This uncaring Draco was ten times worse than the mean Draco of the past six years.

Harry thought in passing that perhaps it had been a huge joke at the expense of the Gryffindor. Perhaps the rest of his house had dared Draco and now the joke was over.
There was the last day Harry had seen Draco before the war started. Draco had been across the Great Hall and eyed Harry before coming to stand before him.

Nodding towards the enchanted ceiling, Draco had begun to talk. “Looks like perfect weather for a war, Potter. May the best man win.”

The scene faded and a fog once again surrounded Harry. It occurred to him that he was stuck in some sort of dream state, but he was unaware of how to pull himself out of it. Instead, he continued to wander through the fog, finding more memories of how much Draco Malfoy hated him.


*****


Neville came out of Harry’s room looking calm. He glanced at Draco and frowned.

“How is he, Neville?” Hermione asked.

Sighing, Neville answered. “He’s doing better now. He went through a high-activity phase and is out of it now. I can’t say whether this is good for him or not. He is always weaker after one of these episodes.

“I don’t want you going in there, Malfoy. You could kill him. Your name always triggers one of these episodes. I can only imagine what hearing youice ice would do to him. Just go home and we’ll keep you updated,” Neville said.

Draco shook his head; he had every intention of talking with Harry before he went on his latest mission to uncover the truth behind that night that they both lost everything. “Neville, don’t make me hex you. I have to talk to Harry. I won’t stay long, if he starts having another episode, I’ll leave immediately, but there’s something he has to know. Please, please, Neville. I don’t know how to beg, but I’m begging you. Let me see him for a few moments,” Draco pleaded.

Neville shrugged his shoulders, defeated. “Five minutes, Malfoy. Five minutes.”


*****


Harry had been wandering in the fog when he heard Draco’s voice. Looking all around, fighting against the fog, Harry tried to call out to Draco. He wanted to explain. He wanted to tell Draco that he was sorry for bothering him. He wanted to see Draco one last time to say goodbye.

It was then that he heard what Draco was saying. Draco told him to stay there and just listen. Draco told him there would be time for everything. Not knowing why, since Draco hated him, Harry stopped and quieted down to listen to what Draco had to say.


*****


Draco had grabbed Harry’s hand and said hello. Immediately, the monitors had started working frantically. Draco continued to stroke Harry’s hand and spoke to him in a soothing voice.

“Harry, it’s me. It’s Draco. Listen, I need you to relax. Don’t fight me right now, just listen. I’ll be able to explain everything if you just listen to me. Please, please calm down,” Draco urged the sleeping man before him.

To his surprise, Harry did calm. The monitors returned to a more steady rhythm. Harry’s breathing grew steady and Draco even felt a squeeze from Harry’s hand.

“Harry, I just want you to listen to me. I know a lot of shit has happened. I know that I didn’t handle anything right. I can only hope you will be able to forgive me. I want to tell you that I love you. I still love you. I never stopped. I just forgot to remember how much you loved me. I pushed you away. I hurt you because you hurt me. It killed me to see you with Zabini that night, and it killed me even more for you to see me with Wood. But I had to hurt you, don’t you see? I was hurting so you had to hurt too.”

“That’s not why I’m here. Harry, I love you. I’m going to make things right. First of all, I know that you didn’t do anything wrong. Zabini set you up that night. He was forced into it, but that doesn’t make it right.”

“Someone wanted to see us apart and Zabini was just a means to that end. I don’t have all the answers yet, Harry, but I will. I’m going to fix everything. I only hope you can forgive me after how much I’ve hurt you.”

“Please, hang on, love. I need you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was responsible for destroying you. I don’t want to live another day without you. Please don’t give up, love. I have to go now, but I will be back. I’ll have answers; I’ll be able to explain everything. Please, hold on, for me,” Draco finished.

Leaning down to place a kiss on the pale forehead, Draco allowed a single tear before he returned to Hermione and Ron.

“I have to go on a trip. A business trip, of sorts,” Draco started. Seeing Ron’s worried face, he hurriedly continued, “You’re fine, Ron. Everyone understands why you’re here. My has has nothing to do with auror business.

“I have to get to the bottom of this. Now that I know who is responsible for separating me and Harry, I need to know why. I just don’t understand it. But I have this port key ring, all you have to do is activate it, and I’ll port key directly back here. Only use this if it’s an emergency, please. Take care of him; tell him I still love him. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Draco said.

Hermione hugged him. She had never blamed him for what happened between him and her best friend. She had always liked Malfoy after the war. Harry brought out the best in him. “We’ll take care of him, Draco. You be careful. I don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, but I have the feeling you may be in for some trouble,” Hermione said wishing she knew the big secret.

“Ferret, don’t you think you ought to at least tell your coworker where you’re going? I mean, if anything happens to you, at least let me know where to look,” Ron requested.

“Sorry, Weasel. I’m afraid I’ve got to go alone on this one. I’ll let you have the big adventure next time,” Draco said jokingly. And with a pop, he was gone.


*****


Draco apparated directly into the living room. Setting down his small bags, he looked around at the dark colors of the room. Time to get to the bottom of this, he thought to himself. He was just about to call out when the very person he wanted to see entered the room…