Maeglin Yedi and the Order of the Serpent

Chapter 5: Dumbest Muggle Ever


Ever so slowly, the world around me appears again, and I hear distant, unfamiliar voices muttering things like ´Probably tortured, likely not fed well at all, good thing you got her out´ and I try to blink away the dark spots that dance before my eyes.

I start to make out faces, three of them, staring down at me, and they look awfully familiar and not, and I try to sit up, but a strong hand holds me down gently.

\"Just take it easy, girl.\"

I turn my face towards that voice and see a man with beautiful dark skin like chocolate, and I wonder if it would taste like that as well if I would lick it. But thankfully, before I can execute my rather ridiculous plan, I realize who the men around me are.

Kingsley Shacklebolt, who still holds me down with a large yet gentle hand, and who gives me a half-smile, and who wears golden earrings that reflect what little light the gas lamps in the hallway produce.

Remus Lupin, with shabby, gray robes and tousled silver-streaked hair that falls into his light-brown eyes, which look at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

And Sirius Black, who is supposed to be dead, but who looks alive and well, with a dark stubble covering his jaw and chin, and long, black hair that falls over his shoulders, and light eyes that reflect the almost shy grin that is playing around his lips.

I take my time to look at each of them, but my gaze keeps returning to Sirius, because it´s still hard to believe that he´s there at all. I start to feel a bit overwhelmed by everything that has happened, and by all the people that I´ve met, and by the fact that the festering wound Sirius´ death had left in me is starting to heal at last.

And I do what any gibbering fangirl would do. I pull myself away from Kingsley´s hand, throw my arms around Sirius neck, and bury my face in his long hair.

\"You´re alive. You´re fucking alive.\" I can´t do much more than hang onto him while I keep repeating those words, and I feel Sirius giving me an awkward pat on my back in return.

Then Remus clears his throat beside me. \"Kingsley, who is she?\"

Kingsley snorts. \"Her name is Maeglin, and according to Albus she´s a seer. But I´m having my doubts about that if she didn´t even know Sirius was alive.\"

Okay. Now I´m offended. Here I am, getting all emotional and stuff, and then Kingsley has to say something insulting like that. I turn my face to glare at Kingsley. \"Hey. I´ll have you know that I had a pretty strong suspicion that Sirius wasn´t really dead.\"

I don´t give Kingsley a chance to reply, but look at Sirius again, who is looking uncomfortable, to say the least, so I let go of him while I feel my cheeks flush. I really am getting too old for this raving fangirl routine. I glance towards Remus, and I notice him staring at me with a rather odd gleam in his eyes. And then Sirius and Remus exchange a quick look, and sweet Jesus, if these two aren´t queer and shagging each other rotten, I´ll eat my boots.

\"So...um...how did you get back?\" I start, in a hurried attempt to end the awkward silence that hangs between the four of us. But when Sirius wants to start talking, I quickly raise my hand to silence him. \"Wait, wait, don´t tell me. Stubby Boardman, right?\"

The moment Sirius nods and smiles at me, I turn my head towards Kingsley and give him a smug grin. Kingsley chuckles, and shakes his head before offering me his hand. I accept it, and try not to feel too muluttlutter in my stomach as he pulls me to my feet.

\"Thank you,\" I whisper and find my boots very interesting all of a sudden.

\"Are you staying for tea, Kingsley?\" Sirius asks, and I can hear amusement shine through in his voice. Oh god, I really must have made a complete fool out of myself by throwing myself at him like that. Not to mention the shy virgin act that I can´t help but display around a really manly man like Kingsley. My boots still look mighty interesting, and I keep my eyes fixed on them.

\"No. Have to get back to the Ministry. Albus will contact you later concerning...your guest.\"

I snap my gaze up, and look back and forth between all three men. Everything has happened so fast that I´ve hardly had the chance to let these new developments sink in. I´m staying here. In twelve Grimmauld Place. With Sirius and Remus.

Whoa.

And then I remember Walden, and the fun we had today, and the look of utter fury on his face when Kingsley dragged me away, and oh my god, Voldemort is going to kill him when he gets back to the Mansion without me. And then I remember Voldemort, and our date which was most certainly not a date, and how he was quite good company actually, you know, for a Dark Lord. But I shouldn´t be thinking about these people like that, because these are the bad guys.

But I can´t help but feel a tiny flutter of disappointment that I won´t be able to share an interesting meal with Voldemorain,ain, and a large surge of fear for what Voldemort might do to Walden.

Maybe if I...but damn, what can I do? Send Voldemort a note? Oh yeah, I can see that now: Dear Lord Voldemort, please don´t hurt Walden, because it was not his fault I got kidnapped, I was just being careless, see you, Maeglin.

There isn´t a thing I can do about it all, and the world around me threatens to start spinning again, until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Remus give me a warm smile.

\"Why don´t I make you a nice cuppa.\"

I nod silently, and let Remus steer me towards the stairs at the end of the hallway.

\"Good bye, seer,\" I hear Kingsley say, and I look over my shoulder at him, another shy smile threatening to take control over my lips.

\"Bye,\" I say, and promptly bump into the wall, which I´m very sure wasn´t there before.

Chuckling, Sirius follows me and Remus down the stairs, and we step inside the kitchen. It looks...homy, and I take a seat at the large table after Remus gestures towards it. Sirius sits down opposite of me, and Remus sets about making some tea.

While Sirius gives me calculated glances, I look around the kitchen, my mind spinning with things I want to say and ask, and it´s hard to focus on one thought at a time, because damn, I´m here, in twelve Grimmauld Place, and Sirius and Remus are here too, and...

\"Here you go.\" Remus puts a cup of steaming tea in front of me, and it snaps me out of my mental stupor.

\"Thank you,\" I whisper as Remus sits down beside me. I glance at him, and then I glance at Sirius, and then back at Remus again, and they give each other amused smiles.

\"Okay,\" I say after I´ve finally decided on a subject for conversation. \"So whatever was behind the veil wasn´t death, but time, right?\"

\"Actually, it´s both,\" Remus says quietly, and I shift in my seat so I can look at him. He blows a bit of air over the rim of his cup before taking a delicate sip. \"Time only exists as long as life exists endsends with death, so time and death are connected on many levels.\"

I frown and look at Sirius, trying to see if he gets any of this. But then I want to slap myself on my head, because of course Sirius gets it. He experienced it after all.

\"Without life there is no time,\" Remus says patiently as he notices my confused look. \"But not all life stops after death, so time does exist in that dimension as well, just in an altered form.\"

He´s lost me completely, but I´m too damned proud to admit that, so I just nod, pretending to understand what the hell he´s talking about.

\"What Moony is trying to say, is that because I wasn´t dead when I entered death, time took over, and spit my arse out in the past.\" Sirius gives Remus a smirk, and I give Sirius a grateful smile. Now that I understand.

\"Yeah, sort of like with a black hole,\" I offer, and now both Sirius and Remus look at me rather confused. \"You know, instead of it swallowing you whole, you ended up in a worm hole which deported you through time. It makes sense.\" I sip my tea, feeling quite satisfied with myself that I have figured it out, even though Sirius and Remus still seem a bit lost.

But then I realize something, and I drop the cup. It breaks into a thousand pieces, and hot tea spills everywhere. \"Oh my god, I´m dead.\"

Remus grabs his wand, and with a flick the mess vanishes. He summons a new cup, and pours me more hot tea. Meanwhile, Sirius looks at me with raised eyebrows.

\"What year is this?\" I ask, panic tainting my voice.

\"Nineteen ninety six,\" Sirius offers, and I drop my head on the table, barely missing the cup of tea which Remus quickly shoves to the side.

\"I´m dead. I must have gone through this whole space-time-continuum thingie to end up here.\" I try to keep my breathing steady, which is an odd thing to do when you´re dead I suppose.

\"I´m not sure what you mean,\" Remus says, putting a warm hand on my arm. \"But I can assure you that you are not dead.\"

\"I´m not?\" I ask bewildered while I look up at him.

\"Of course not. If you were dead, you´d be a ghost, and you´re obviously not a ghost.\" Sirius winks at me. \"I don´t think ghosts can give such pleasant hugs.\"

\"But then...how...why...I´m from the year two thousand and three.\" I give Sirius a weak smile, trying to feel happy about his confession that my hug was a pleasant one, but not quite managing it, since I´m feeling very, very confused about all of this.

\"So Voldemort abducted you through time. A difficult thing to do, but not impossible if one knows the correct magic for it, and I´m sure Voldemort would know,\" Remus muses, and I sit up straight in my chair again, reaching for my cup of tea to give drinking it another try.

\"Well, the magic thing makes sense, I guess. I do remember Harry using a time-turner to save you, Sirius.\"

Sirius gives me a proud grin, which obviously reflects how he feels about his godson.

\"But Voldemort didn´t exactly abduct me. He was as surprised as I was to find me in his mansion,\" I continue, giving Remus a puzzled look.

Remus blinks, and then frowns. \"How did you get there then?\"

\"Your guess is as good as any.\" I let out a deep sigh. \"I went to bed one night, and the next thing I knew I was walking around in Riddle Mansion, and it wasn´t a dream, because, well, everything was real.\"

\"I´d like to believe I´m real, yeah.\" Sirius snickers, and I hear Remus chuckle as well.

\"Perhaps Dumbledore might know more about this situation. I´m sure he´ll contact you very soon,\" Remus offers, and I nod. If anyone knows how I ended up here, it´s Dumbledore. He might be a manipulative old coot, but he does always seems to know certain things.

\"Since you know all about us, I think it´s only fair if you tell us a bit about yourself.\" Sirius holds his cup with both hands, leaning his elbows on the table, and giving me an encouraging nod. \"Where are you from? What do you do?\"

\"Oh...yeah...well, I´m from the Netherlands, and I´m a dog trainer and a dog behavior therapist.\"

Before I even realize the exact implication of what I´ve just said, Sirius throws his head back, and laughs, his whole body shaking, tea spilling over his hands and onto the table. Remus chuckles beside me, and for a moment I´m lost, but then I do realize how silly it must have sounded to these two men who both have canine alter egos.

\"That´s good to know,\" Remus says in between snickering snorts, \"If I ever need help housebreaking him, I´ll be sure to give you a call.\"

\"Hey, I´m right here, you know.\" Sirius tries to look offended, but it´s not really working since he´s still laughing. \"I´m housebroken just fine, and so is Padfoot, thanks ever so much, Moony.\"

I giggle and look at Sirius for a moment. \"Could you...um...you know...do the Padfoot thing?\"

Sirius doesn´t answer, but just seems to concentrate on something for barely a second, and then his tall body starts morphing, and it´s really very odd to see, because all of a sudden there´s a big, black dog sitting in the chair opposite of me. I´m sure I must look like an idiot, with my mouth hanging open, but I can´t really care, because it´s Padfoot, and he looks so much like a dog. Um...yeah...I realize he´s supposed to look like a dog, but wow, it´s really a dog.

Padfoot perks his pricked ears up, and jumps off the chair, trots around the table, and stops in front of me, nudging his big, furry head between my knees, behaving like any dog who wants attention.

I run my fingers over his soft head, and I´m rewarded with a huge paw on my knee while Padfoot rest his chin on my thigh. Petting his head and his ears and his neck, I look up at Remus with an utterly idiotic smile on my face. \"It´s a dog!\" I say, as if it explains all the mysteries of the universe.

\"Guess again,\" a voice from somewhere between my legs says.

After I recover from a near-heart attack, I look down and see Sirius kneeling between my legs, a mischievous grin on his face. And I´m still petting his head.

And then the kitchen door swings open, and three redheaded people step inside, but stop dead in their tracks when they see me sitting with my legs spread, and Sirius kneeling in between them, my hand still mindlessly stroking his head.

Ah, yes. I can see how this might give them certain ideas, and I pull back just as Sirius quickly gets to his feet, but he accidentally pushes me so that my chair tips over, and I´m falling backwards.

But before I hit the floor, two strong hands grab my shoulders, and I´m staring up in a pair of absolutely gorgeous hazel eyes. I blink, and take in the rest of this man´s features; a sharp nose, nicely curved lips, pale skin covered in freckles, and long red hair tied back in a ponytail.

Bill Weasley.

Hello!

Bill helps me to my feet, and I give him a grateful yet foolish grin while he puts my chair back upright. Then he offers me his hand, and I shake it, hoping my palms aren´t as sweaty as I think they are.

\"Hi, I´m Bill,\" he says, shaking my hand, and giving it a soft squeeze.

\"Yeah, I know. I´m Maeglin. Nice to meet you.\"

I bite my lip, and study the ceiling. He has no idea how nice exactly, and I feel my cheeks flush and certain places tingle. It´s suddenly awfully warm in the kitchen, and I realize that I´m still wearing my custom-made buttonless cloak. I quickly shed it, and sit down.

Sirius has found his seat again opposite of me, and while Bill sits down on my other side, I notice Sirius studiously avoiding making eye contact with one of the other people who intruded on us. I crane my head to the side to see who Sirius is not looking at, and see a plump, middle aged women giving me very motherly smile.

Molly Weasley.

Hmmm.

Of couse, I give her a polite smile in return, and then Remus, who is still sitting beside me, clears his throat.

\"Molly, Arthur, this is Maeglin. She´s a Muggle, and will be staying with us for a while. Kingsley rescued her from Voldemort´s clutches earlier.\"

I was rescued?

Funny, it didn´t feel at all like I was rescued. It felt like I was kidnapped. But I guess that when one looks at the circumstances, one might conclude that yes, I was rescued. I still can´t help worrying over Walden, though.

Molly and Arthur give each other a knowing look, and I can practically see Arthur´s mind spinning with questions about rubber ducks, and I swear that if he asks me one, I will empty my cup of tea over his head. Molly steps up to me, quite brusquely, and examines me as if I´m some sort of recently discovered, endangered arboreal frog.

\"DON´T WORRY, DEAR. YOU´RE SAFE HER

I practically leap into Remus´ lap, because damn, that woman can shout. Molly bustles off to the counter, and I blink, rubbing my ears which are ringing unpleasantly.

\"I´m a Muggle, I´m not deaf,\" I mutter, and see Sirius trying not to snicker.

\"Mum´s a bit...you know.\" Bill shrugs while Arthur sits down next to Sirius, his eyes fixed on me. I quickly look down at my cup of tea, trying not to attract any unwanted attention.

I glance at Bill, and can´t help but notice that he´s a very handsome man – really, it´s nothing short of a miracle that Arthur and Molly have ever been able to produce him – and I know it´s a canon fact that he dates women. Something I can´t say for either Sirius or Remus.

\"So, are you still seeing that French girl...what´s her name...Fleur?\" I inquire as politely as possible.

Bill´s face lights up. \"Yes. We got engaged last month.\"

\"Ah...that´s...\"

I hate that bitch and hope she dies. I wonder if Voldemort takes requests.

\"...wonderful. Congratulations.\" I pick up my cup, and gulp down my tea, wishing it was something much stronger than that. Here I am, in a room with three attractive men, of which one is engaged to some horribly beautiful woman, and the other two are most certainly gay and boinking each other.

At least Voldemort was single.

Life sucks.

I´m so busy wallowing in self-pity, that I don´t notice Arthur clearing his at rat repeatedly to get my attention, until Remus gives me a polite nudith ith his elbow. I blink up at Arthur, who is looking at me intently from behind his thick spectacles.

One word about rubber ducks, and I´ll...wait, I drank my tea already. Damn.

\"Since you were You Know Who´s prisoner, you must be able to tell us something about him.\" Arthur says, and suddenly all eyes are on me. I finger the empty cup nervously, pushing it around on the saucer.

\"Well,\" I start, smacking my lips and trying to think of anything about Voldemort that could be of use to the Order. Oddly though, I don´t really want to give them that kind of information. I feel like bloody Switzerland. \"Voldemort likes crab. And chocolate cake. And he has impeccable table manners. And he likes white wine. I thought it was Chablis, but I´m not entirely sure. Definitely French though.\"

\"Okay,\" Arthur says and frowns. \"But is there something useful that you have ned ned perhaps?\"

\"Twelve ways to kill a werewolf.\"

Oh, fuck. That´s so not the thing to say when you´re sitting beside one. I quickly look at Remus, and give him an apologetic smile. \"I´m sorry, Remus. I didn´t mean anything by that. It´s just, you know, Walden is quite enthusiastic about his work, and likes to share details about it.\"

Remus waves my apology away, and I let out a relieved sigh.

\"Walden? You´re on a first name basis with that piece of filth?\" Sirius asks, glaring at me while he tightens his fingers around his cup.

\"Um...yeah. He took me shopping today.\"

\"Shopping?\" Bill asks, surprised. \"Didn´t they lock you up and interrogate you at all?\"

\"No, not really. Voldemort invited me to have dinner with him. Of course, he did try to kill me, at first. But then I told him a bit about the prophecy, and things were pretty cool after that. He was quite the gentleman, if you ask me.\"

\"WHAT?\" Sirius roars, getting up so quickly his chair tumbles backwards. \"What did you tell him about the prophecy?\"

I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I have managed to piss the people who I actually like off. I deserve a bloody medal for ´Dumbest Muggle Ever´. Feeling like I´m shrinking in my chair, I study my hands and try not to tremble too much.

\"Sit down, Sirius,\" Remus hisses, and Sirius complies, his angry gaze never leaving me.

You´re not fooling me with your quiet act, Remy. You´re so the Alpha, and Padfoot is so your bitch. I look up at him, and Remus gives me a curt nod.

\"Why don´t you just tell us what you told him.\"

I bury my face in my hands, not able to look at any of them right now. \"I woke up in Riddle Mansion, and the next thing I knew Voldemort had his hand around my throat and was about to kill me, so I just blurted out that I knew certain things. I told him about the prophecy, yes, but I never gave any details away that could endanger any of you. I didn´t want to die. So call me a coward if you want. I was just trying to save my own arse.\"

\"You went shopping with Macnair. I hardly think you´re a coward,\" Remus says quietly, and I glance at him. He´s smiling, and puts his hand on my shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

Before anyone else can respond, Molly sets a huge pan of something on the table. \"Supper´sdy,\dy,\" she says cheerfully, and I´m starting to wonder if she´s deaf, since she seems to have missed our entire conversation. Ah well, the food smells good and I´m starving.

While we eat our dinner – which is some sort of stew that tastes delicious – we make a lot of small talk, and Sirius and Remus share amusing stories about their school days. I learn that pumpkin juice tastes like horse piss and barely manage not to spit it all over Sirius, and I learn that magic is pretty helpful around the kitchen, as Molly shows when she cleans everything up with a few simple spells.

But most importantly, I learn that Sirius smokes, which means that I can smoke as well, and I enjoy my after-dinner fag quietly, while Sirius studies the pack of cigarettes Walden gave me.

I suppose it is an unusual brand – Black Death – that has an entirely black box with a silver skull on it.

\"Death Eater crap,\" Sirius states, but can´t resist trying one anyway.

Stubbing out my cigarette in the ceramic ashtray, I to sto stiffen a yawn, but Sirius notices it.

\"Why don´t I show you to your room, and you can get a bit of rest.\" Sirius gets up, and I bid the others good night, and follow him. He leads me up the stairs to the hallway, and then up another flight of stairs that leads to the first floor. We step inside a dimly lit bedroom, and Sirius turns to me, worrying his bottom lip.

\"I´m sorry for snapping at you earlier,\" he starts, and I quickly raise my hand to silence him.

\"That´s okay. You don´t have to apologize. I wasn´t exactly very tactical about my words. Everything´s just a bit much to take in.\"

Sirius smiles, clears his throat, and starts pointing things out. \"There´s towels and bedlinen in the closet, and the bathroom is just across from here.\"

I wonder if they keep lube in the bathroom as well. They seem awfully gay after all. It would be best if I´d be very careful about using any shampoo in this place. Glancing across the room, I notice an entirely black painting on the wall, and make a mental note to turn my back to it when I change into my night clothes. And that reminds me.

\"Sirius, can you engorge something for me?\"

His eyes widening, Sirius looks at me rather confused, and is he blushing?

\"Look, you´re a nice girl and all, but you don´t really have the right equipment,\" he stammers. \"And besides that, I´m-\"

\"You´re shagging Moony. Yeah, I know. But that´s not at all what I meant.\"

Sirius blinks, and I grab my cloak, and show him all the tiny packages. Letting out a strangled snicker, Sirius whips out his wand and engorges my purchases.

\"Let me help you with those,\" he says, and starts unpacking the many, many robes Madam Malkin selected for me. \"So you know about Remus and me? Are we...that obvious?\"

I giggle and shake my head. \"Nah. Not that obvious at all. I just know certain things.\"

\"Ah. So you don´t have any problems with it?\"

Only if you won´t let me watch.

God, I hope I didn´t say that out loud.

\"No problems at all,\" I assure him while I unwrap my books and pile them up on the nightstand.

\"My, my, Maeglin,\" Sirius suddenly says, and I turn to see him holding...that bloody lacy corset thingie. Goddammit, Walden!

\"That´s not mine,\" I tell him quickly, too quickly I guess, because Sirius gives me a cheeky grin while he holds the corset in front of him, looking at it from every possible angle.

\"Of course it´s not.\"

\"No, seriously. I didn´t buy that. Walden did.\"

\"Oh, so now I have to believe that the Ministry´s ruthless executioner likes to wear lacy things.\" Sirius snorts.

My dear Padfoot, you have no idea. But I don´t want to rat on Walden, so I just shrug.

\"Hmm. I wonder if this will fit Moony,\" Sirius muses, and I try to grab the corset, but he quickly holds it up high over his head, and well, he is tall and I´m not, so I can reach for it all I want, but that´s not going to work.

\"Look, even though I will never, ever wear it, it is mine, so give it back.\" I grab his shou and and use that to push myself up a bit, and I manage to get hold of the stupid thing. But then the shoulder disappears, and a big, black dog quickly grabs the corset in his mouth and takes off.

Since I´m still holding the other end, I have no other choice but to follow him out the room and down the stairs, meanwhile screeching: \"Fuck, Sirius, let go of my corset!\"

But when we reach the hallway, I realize we´re not quite alone, and see the three Weasleys and Remus give us surprised looks.

Padfoot transforms back into his human shape again, and Sirius spits out the corset, giving Remus a goofy grin.

\"I was just letting our guests out,\" Remus says, giving both me and Sirius a wary glance.

Stuffing the corset behind my back, I nod at Remus. \"I´ll be going to bed then.\"

\"Good night, Maeglin,\" Sirius says, lookperfperfectly innocent.

\"Good night, Sirius.\" I stomp up the stairs, not daring to look at any of the others for fear of looking as red as a bloody lobster. I really have to try to do less embarrassing things.

~~~~~~

When I went to bed, I was certain I would fall asleep immediately, since I was, and still am, exhausted.

But apparently two canines who shall remain anonymous for now, like to do a little physical exercise before calling it a night.

\"Moony, harder...fuck, yes...harder!\"

Those canines also appear to forget they have a guest in the house and thus not bother with something as nifty as a silencing spell.

I bite down on my pillow to prevent a frustrated cry from escaping my lips. I mean, how long can these two last? They´ve been at it for what seems like hours. It was fun the first fifteen minutes, but dammit, I want to sleep! Not only are they both very vocal, but they´re also banging the bed against the wall with whatever they are doing. Well, I do have a pretty good idea of what they are doing, so never mind.

At least Riddle Mansion was...

\"Sirius...yes...yes...so good...yes!\"

...silent.

Finally, I can´t stand it anymore, and I push the covers back, the tiny red dragons on my new nightgown running around on the blue fabric, letting out small, agitated puffs of smoke. I stomp across the hall...

\"More...Remus...yes...more!\"

...and slam my fist against their door repeatedly.

The moaning and howling and bed banging against the wall stops instantly, and I hear a loud thud, as if someone´s fallen off the bed onto the floor. But I can´t really care right now.

\"You´re fucking Wizards! Use a bloody silencing spell, for fuck´s sake!\"

I give the door a last frustrated kick – I have no problems with sex in general, but I do have problems with it when I´m not getting any and others are – and walk back to my room, muttering obscenities along the way.

But when I enter my room again, I notice that I´m no longer alone. The previously black painting is now occupied by an odd looking man. Phineas.

\"They´re a couple of animals, aren´t they?\" he says, leaning against the frame casually.

I decide to ignore him, because I really want to sleep, and get back in bed.

\"You know, young master Black is related to me. All that...raw energy runs in the family.\" Phineas gives me a very suggestive wink.

I really don´t want to think about portrait sex, thank you very much.

\"Oh, do shut up,\" I snarl, and pull the covers over my head.

\"Suit yourself. But you´re missing out on something, young lady.\"

Yeah. Whatever.

TBC...