Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
Zyta

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the world that they are playing within- that honor goes to the genius JK Rowling. I’m just playing with her toys, but I promise to give them back with all their hair and clothes in tact. Maybe. I don’t make money from this, and I doubt anyone would pay anyway.

A/N: Slash. If you don’t like Male/Male pairings with sex involved then you shouldn’t read this. There’s also quite a bit crude language in here, mostly the F dash dash dash word. If you’re uncomfortable with adult language, move on to the monkey bars kiddies. This is the adult’s sandbox.

This story was an idea born from one question. What if Snape decided to ‘save his own neck’?


(¯`•._.•[Chapter V]•._.•´¯)
The Lies We\'ll Still Tell

Remus appeared in front of the twisting black gates, looking out across theansiansive grounds toward Snape’s family home. In the light of the gray morning, the house looked empty rather than frightening. Much like Snape himself. The disrepair it had fallen under was hard to take in, since it had obviously been a grand and glorious place at one time in the past. He wondered if it had looked at all better when Snape had lived there as a boy, but by the completely desolate look of the place, he guessed it’s neglect had started far before Snape had been born.

Remus reached out and grasped the frozen iron, pulling on the gnarled gate. There was a loud cry as it opened, as if the hinges were in pain from the slight movement. He could see the rust stains, nearly as red as blood, running down the entwining branches. It only added to the overall depression that had settled over the land like the gray fog currently covering its grounds.

That cloud curled around him as he walked through it, and Remus shivered at its touch, pulling his tattered old robes tighter around him. The few trees that remained were all dead, and rose like giant skeletons towards the dim sky. Remus’ own eyes lowered slightly, trying to steady themselves on the great black doors looming just ahead.

No longer wishing to dwell on the decay all around him, he focused instead on what he would say to Snape. The first thing, and arguably most important, was to find out what had happened. Why he had gone into hiding. Whether he intended on coming back. If he said no to that, Remus decided to do everything he could to change the Slytherin’s mind short of binding him in chains. Snape was not the most reasonable of men, especially when his anger was involved, but he was extremely intelligent. He would not ignore good reason. Remus simply had to figure out what that was.

A part of him wondered why Snape shouldn’t stay hidden. That which took pity Snape, and wanted nothing more than to see the entire nightmare come to an end. But he had a duty, and the Seer’s warnings- neither he would ignore.

Remus ran a hand absently through his hair, wondering if he shouldn’t have taken some better care to prepare himself after waking. He quickly took the steps leading to the porch, wincing at each creak and groan of the wood, wondering if it would collapse beneath him. It stayed fast, however, and he found himself staring at the twin black doors.

There was, appropriy eny enough, a giant snake’s head protruding outwards. Made from silver, with elongated fangs that held a likewise silver ring. Remus sighed, rolling his eyes in amusement. Slytherins were entirely predictable, and not to varied in their décor. He pulled the sleeve of his robe over his hand and reached up to take the ring. The slamming metal echoed like funeral bells into what must have been a very vast entry hall.

Remus waited patiently, hunched over like a beggar into his robes to ward off the chill from the wind on the open porch. After five minutes passed without any noise other than groans from the house, Remus took the ring in his covered hand again anammeammed it down with much more force and urgency.

This time, the door did open- only fractionally wide. Remus gazed inside, seeing nothing there, and then a small squeak caused him to look down instead.

“Master Snape is not to be receiving any visitors.” The trembling little house elf told him. He looked much the same as other house elves, the bulging eyes and floppy green ears. He was dressed in what appeared to be an old checkered table cloth, slung over the shoulder and fixed around the waist with a bit of string in the fashion of a toga. “Master Snape tells Pidgy not to let anyone in.” The elf shivered again.

Remus smiled down as non-threatening as possible, stealthily sliding one foot into the small opening. “He’ll see me, Pidgy. Just telm Rem Remus Lupin is here to speak with him.”

The house elf gazed up with his wide-eyed stare, unblinking, before cowering back slightly and glancing over his knobby shoulder with dread. “Must Pidgy?” The creature asked softly, before another series of violent tremors seized the small body again.

“Yes.” Remus said, forcing the door open with his arm. The little elf squeaked, before turning tail and running, the echo of tiny slapping feet left in his wake. Remus’ brows furrowed together before he stepped into the vast hall.

The little elf’s seeming fear of Snape was worse than Neville’s, and Remus rubbed his temples- wondering again why he had chosen to involve himself with such a man. Pushing the questioning aside, he instead gazed at the house’s interior.

His original observation that it must have once been a very grand place was only strengthened. Although the crystal chandelier hanging above his head was broken apart in places, it still cast a very beautiful pattern of sparkles on the marble floor. The floor itself was in better condition, the tiles looking remarkable with their swirling patterns and gilded edges. He observed that most of the furnishings were covered in large white sheets, but a few tables were still functional. There were several doors leading off from the long hallway, and a grand staircase that had definitely seen better days led up to the second level along the far side.

There were paintings on the walls; large ones that seemed to have been the only things well cared for. The portraits themselves all stared at Remus with a sort of suspicion that was very familiar. Hands clasped behind his back, he strolled casually by each, examining the faces of Snape’s ancestors. It was clear that the large nose, straight black hair, and equally black eyes were something of a family trait. It was also clear that a dark temper was another genetic trait, since most of the paintings scowled or sneered aspasspassed by.

There was one, however, of a very petite woman with a heart shaped face and large chocolate brown eyes who smiled at him. It was clear that the woman had been of delicate health, her skin was extremely pale and her movements week and languid. Never the less, she had a glow behind her that was warm and friendly- so different from the cold furnishings and dead landscape surrounding him. She was quite beautiful. “Hello.” She said genially.

“Madam.” Remus replied, inclining his head.

Her smile and eyes brightened considerably, and the slim hands grasped the edges of her deep green skirts as she curtsied to him. Hands, Remus noticed, that were long and slender- exactly like Snape’s. “You must be the first guest in over two decades,” she told him ililtlilting voice, “are you here to visit Severus?”

Remus grinned in return, nodding to her. “I am.”

She clapped with delight. “Oh, wondwonderful.” She beamed at him. “He has so few friends, you know. Always was a silent and shy child. Terribly brilliant, as lonely little boys often are.”

Remus smiled fleetingly, glancing down at the name engraved on a small silver plaque on the painting’s frame. “Portia Snape?”

“Mm.” She answered, and then glanced behind him. “Oh, he looks to be in one of his moods.” Her eyes settled again on Remus’ face, with a sort of grave air. “Gets it from his father.”

“Lupin!”

Remus whirled around, and spied Snape stalking angrily towards him. His usual heave black robes were off, leaving just the high collared petticoat and long black trousers. “Severus.” He greeted, relief palpable in his voice.

Snape scowled at him darkly, his face deathly pale. Remus had often noticed that while other men would become reddened in their rage, Snape merely lost what little sallow color his face held. “What are you doing here?” He hissed, as his dark eyes narrowed in a decidedly menacing fashion.

Remus gazed over at the painting, and felt bolstered by Portia’s encouraging smile. He regarded Snape again, walking up to him. “Perhaps we can talk somewhere private?”

Snape stared at him for several minutes, before his eyes rolled towards the ceiling. “Very well.” He murmured softly. “Follow me.” He swirled about on his heel, before striding towards a door leading away from the hall.

Remus gave a bow of farewell to Portia, gaining a favorable smile, before heading after Snape. The towering man led him down another hall, poorly lit, all the way to the end. He then opened the door with its customary crash, and strode inside with Remus at his heels. He stood near the door, holding it, as Remus entered the room- gazing around at an apparent study. The fireplace was cold and dark, and the leather chairs died a deep burgundy sat without a crinkle of use before it. Along the walls, however, were several rather large tomes- all with worn bindings that indicated they had been opened many times before. Under the window stood a large mahogany desk, papers scattered in a sort of chaotic order, while an open inkpot said he had recently interrupted Snape.

“Sorry to just drop in unannounced,” Remus commented with a forced casualness, “but you didn’t exactly leave word of where you were at.”

“Shut up.” Snape snarled, and Remus actually jumped a bit as he slammed the door shut wit muc much force some of the ancient books fell off their perch as the walls shook. “Did Albus send you?”

Remus ignored the question for the moment, untying the frayed string in front of his collar before swinging his cloak off his shoulders. He hung it over one of the chairs before seating himself down in it. He gazed over at Snape, who was nearly trembling in fury. “Do you have any tea?”

“Lupin,” Snape stated in a dangerously soft voice, “I suggest you say whatever it is you were sent to tell me, and then get the fuck out of my house before I decide you’ve overextended your welcome.”

“I’d like two lumps in mine, please.” Remus continued evenly, plucking at a loose thread on one of his sleeves. “No cream.”

Snape regarded him steadily down his large, crooked, nose. Remus felt his eyes drilling into his own, and new he was attempting to read his thoughts. Remus allowed it, staring steadily back. Finally, Snape scowled, walking rather jerkily over to the chair across from Remus’. He sat into it, glaring, as he barked out. “PIDGY!”

The house elf popped next to the chairs, shaking so badly Remus thought he might give himself a concussion. “Y-y-yes?”

“Tea. Now.” Snape replied, and the house elf gave a very clumsy bow before disappearing again.

Remus frowned over at the scowling man. “Why is he so terrified?”

“Who?” Snape asked, tilting his head in question. Then, he arched a brow as he answered his own question. “Ah, Pidgy you mean? He’s afraid of his own shadow.” Snape shrugged dismissively. “I don’t even notice any more.” Snape examined Remus for a few moments, before a wry smirk tugged at the corner of his thin lips. “Did you think I had abused him, Lupin?”

Remus folded his hands over his lap. “The thought had occurred to me, yes.”

“I don’t need to. He’s very obedient.” Snape answered in a bored tone. “He was trained by my father, which explains a great deal if you knew the man.”

The way in which stated ‘father’ gave little doubt to Remus he held no great love for him, probably thposiposite. “What was he like?”

“What do you care?” Snape returned, on guard.

“I was only asking, Severus. No need to bite my head off for it.” Remus replied. He was saved from another biting remark when Pidgy arrived with the tray. He set it on the small table next to Snape’s chair- shrinking away as Snape reached for the pot- and disappearing almost immediately.

Snape spoke as he carefully poured out their cups. “My father was a sad excuse for a wizard, nearly a squib, and enjoyed making up for his lack of skill alenalent by demanding total submission from everyone around him. He had quite the Napoleon complex. Two lumps, you said?”

“Yes, please.” Remus watched as Snape added the sugar, before taking the tea with grateful fingers. It warmed the chill in his hands immediately, and he eagerly sipped at it’s contents while watching Snape drink his own. “He sounds like an unforgiving man.”

“He was.” Snape stated, lowering his own cup. “Now, why don’t you deliver Albus’ message so you can be on your way.”

“Actually, Albus didn’t send me.” Remus replied. At Snape’s raised brow, he elaborated. “He wanted me to stay at Grimmauld Place and wait in case you decided to send a message yourself.”

“I had no intentions of doing so.” Snape gave Remus another level stare that seemed to last for hours. Satisfied, he looked away towards the fireplace. “So why are you here? I thought you’d be rather glad to hme dme disappear.”

Remus became unaccountably angry by that soft statement. “For someone so intelligent, you can be extremely stupid sometimes, Severus.” Snape’s eyes darted over, his expression darkening, but Remus continued before he had a chance to speak. “I was worried. Everyone is worried. You took off without so much as a note. ?”
?”

“I think you know the answer.” Snape murmured, lifting the cup to his lips and taking another sip. “And I doubt that even your anxiety over my disappearance is for any personal concern. Albus will find another spy. In the meantime, I’ve decided I rather enjoy my life, such as it is, too much to have it tortured out of me.”

“No personal-“ Remus’ jaw clenched, teeth grindingetheether. He forced himself to calm down before trusting himself to speak. “We’ve been intimate for the past four months, and you think I’d have no personal concerns for your welfare? Have you always been this dense, or is it a recent development?”

Snape snorted before rolling his eyes. “Is that what this is about? You feel jilted? Come nowpin.pin. We both know it was only sex.”

“Granted,” he admitted, knowing it would do no good to lie to a man who could pluck them out of mid air, “it was. It was just that, after the other night- well-“ Lupin spread his hands, “I was wod abd about you. You’ve never shown any sort of need before, and it threw me for a loop. Then you disappeared- and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine.” Snape stated, shifting uncomfortably. “So you can leave. Do I need to cast a memory charm to ensure your silence, or can I count on your word?”

“I’m afraid it’s not quite that simple.” Remus stated softly. “You need to come back.”

Snape glared over at him. “I’m not. And it is that simple. You have no idea, Lupin. No idea.”

“My name is Remus, you know.” He replied.

“Yes, I’m aware of that.”

Remus gazed over at him. “Do you think you could use it?”

Snape’s lips pressed so tightly together they nearly disappeared entirely from his face. “I’m not going back, Lupin. Whatever games you’re trying to play- don’t. Gryffindors are notoriously bad at them.”

“I’m not playing any games, Severus. I don’t find them to my liking.” Remus sighed as he sat down the teacup. “I also find that I don’t wish to end our arrangement.”

Snape’s brows lifted in surprise at that. “Well- I’m sure there must be some other Wizard who would find you tolerable.”

“Perhaps I don’t want another one.” Remus remarked quietly, meeting Snape’s eyes. “Did you ever consider that?”

“No.” Snape admitted, tracing his lips with a raised finger. His black eyes darted over to take in Remus’ face. “Perhaps I do.” He said just as quietly.

Remus actually winced at that, and his hand tightened over the saucer. He hadn’t considered that. For some reason, Snape’s callous rejection cut at him more thand cad care to admit. “Fair enough. I can’t make you want me.”

“Mm.” Snape hummed in agreement. “Now get out.”

Remus took in a deep breath. “No. Not until some things are settled.”

Snape’s laughter was more like a bark, and his head tilted back to reveal a bobbing Adams apple that rose and fell with its cadence. “Settled?” He lowered his chin again, an amused smirk on his face. “Do you need closure, Lupin? Perhaps a Dear John letter?”

Remus narrowed his own eyes. “I was referring to your plan to stay in hiding, Severus.”

“The plan? You were the plan. While you’re Gryffindor sense of honor felt compelled to comfort me, a made sure you entered a deep sleep.” Snape turned pensive. “Although, it appears not to have been deep enough. I was sure you wouldn’t have any notion I had cast the Fidelius charm. You’re more clever than I gave you credit for.”

Remus felt a deep seeded anger blooming in his stomach. He had to wonder why he had bothered pursuing Snape at all. A man who hated as easily as other people loved. A man who used others without one trace of guilt. Who had used him. In more ways then just one. And he pitied the loneliness he had felt, but now wondered if Snape didn’t keep others away because he preferred it, perhaps because he liked to wallow in the darkness. He was a man who enjoyed laughing at other’s misfortunes and sending caustic remarks to emphasize even children’s weaknesses.

Remus had certainly chosen one of the most despicable, murderous, complete bastards ever to have any sort of feelings for. He always did have horrible taste in men. “I had help.” He said through clenched teeth. “A seer who warned me that if you didn’t return to the Order with me, Voldemort would find you.”

“Don’t say his name!” Snape roared, leaping from the seat with a wild look in his eyes.

Remus calmly stood as well, getting right into the bastard’s face. “Voldemort. Tom Riddle. Get over your cowardice, Severus.”

Snape’s wand was at his throat before he could blink, and he automatically stepped backwards. The back of his knees hit the side of the chair, and he fell into it. Snape’s wand remained leveled at his head. “You have no idea what cowardice is, Lupin. Would you like me to tell you?” Snape asked in a voice just above a whisper- so soft Remus had to strain his hearing to catch the words. “Cowardice is when you stand idly by while your best friend goes into hiding. Cowardice is allowing your friends to dictate every thought you have ever had. Cowardice is pretending to be a kind man when you are nothing but a monster. Cowardice is allowing the son of your murdered best friend to be put into danger because you were unable to tattle on an old crush. Cowardice, Lupin, is allowing the great love of your life to walk freely to his doom. That, Lupin, is cowardice, and you- my supposedly brave le Gle Gryffindor wolf, carry it in spades.”

Remus was breathing heavily, his face turned away as he fought to keep the tears from sliding down his cheeks. He heard Snape’s smirk as the other man spoke again. “Now you may run away, Lupin. Try not to feel guilty over it. I certainly don’t.”

And Remus did run. He leapt out of the chair and bolted through the doors. Flying past the portraits and through the main doors without once looking behind him. He ran all the way to the gate- just as twisted and black and ugly as it’s master. Only when he was past it, out of it’s shadow, did he allow himself to stop and breath.

As he angrily wiped away the wet tracks running silently down his face, he thought privately that it couldn’t have gone much worse.

••.•´¯`•.•• ••.•´¯`•.••

Just so you all know, I love a cruel Snape much more than a mushy one. He just doesn’t seem very mushy to me. ^.^ More to come…