Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

A/N: A quick note for anyone reading this story who (like me) dreads every multi-chapter fic you invest time in being abandoned. This one is now all written and ready for my beta. Every last word (apart from the occasional ones I accidentally miss out that my beta puts in for me). There will be 71 chapters, plus the prologue and epilogue. Which means that at this site it will look like there are 73 chapters in total. I hope you will all stick with it until the end.

Louisa

iGlow - In answer to your comment about the sex scene sounding painful - It was supposed to, that was rather the point of the whole scene. Neither of them have any experience, only have a vague clue what they are doing and weren't prepared in more ways than one. Painful was guaranteed this time, but they will learn.

-------------------
Frightening Magic
-------------------

When Remus got back to Hogwarts, he found that nearly everyone was on their way to the last of the afternoon classes. He knew that he would probably be late for his own class, at least by the time he had navigated the various staircases that led to Gryffindor Tower, gathered his books and then come all the way back downstairs to class. He knew he should probably hurry, so that he would miss as little of the lesson as possible, but unfortunately, he was still moving fairly gingerly. As he made his way up the second set of stairs, he cursed the slow processing of his application to get on the Floo Network, something that could have saved him a great deal of time and pain.

By the time he arrived in the Gryffindor common room, he wanted nothing more than to go right back to bed for the rest of the day.

He saw Charlene sitting in one of the chairs near the window and wondered if he could slip by her without being noticed. Unfortunately, luck was not on his side, and Charlene spotted him just as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Remus?” she called out to him, and he groaned, realising he had been caught.

He was tempted to ignore her and carry on up the stairs, but he knew he would only be putting off the inevitable.

“Can you skip Defence today?” Charlene asked. “I think we need to talk.”

Remus nodded, after all, he had been thinking of skipping the class anyway.

Charlene waved at the seat opposite her and Remus sat down on the cushioned surface, wishing it was one of the more fluffy sofas, but relieved that it wasn’t one of the wooden seats in the library.

“Are you okay?” Charlene asked, clearly having picked up on his somewhat pained movements.

“Just aching a bit,” Remus replied, praying that she wouldn’t ask him why.

Charlene merely nodded in understanding and offered some sympathetic words about the pain of the transformation. Remus shrugged, entirely unwilling to correct her false assumption.

“I shouldn’t have gone there last night, should I?” Charlene said, ducking her head and focusing her gaze on the barely started essay in front of her.

Remus shook his head. “I told you I didn’t want you there.”

“I thought it was because you wanted to be alone with Sirius. I thought you were trying to shut me out… I guess I still think that. I thought there was something going on between you two either before moonrise or after sunrise.”

Remus felt his face heating up as he realised that they had now done exactly what she had suspected the two of them of doing.

“I didn’t know you’d be so angry at me being there,” Charlene continued.

“I’m not angry,” Remus said with a sigh.

“You were though.”

Remus shook his head.

“As soon as I went into the basement, you went nuts,” Charlene pointed out. “You were mad at me being there.”

“That was the wolf,” Remus explained.

Charlene shook her head. “I read about werewolves, and according to what I read, the wolf channels the feelings and emotions of the human, just without restraint.”

“Werewolves attack humans and bite them,” Remus pointed out. “I promise, I don’t want to attack anyone at all.”

Charlene frowned. “You weren’t trying to attack the barrier until I got there. Romulus told me as he brought me back to the castle.”

“Rom put a spell on the barrier, one that stops the wolf smelling humans in the area,” Remus explained. “Without that I’d have been trying to attack Sirius just as much.”

“If you couldn’t smell any humans, then you couldn’t smell me either,” Charlene countered. “The way I see it, the werewolf’s first instinct is to attack humans, but when it can’t smell them, it merely channels the feelings of the human half of it. The wolf was calm when it was only Sirius there, but I showed up and it attacked.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Remus interrupted. “The wolf is a monster and it would have tried to attack any stranger it didn’t recognise.”

“I’m not a stranger.”

“You are to the wolf.”

“Then why don’t you let me get to know the wolf, the way that you let Sirius?”

“Aren’t you scared of it?” Remus asked, ignoring her question as thoughts of just how Sirius knew him flashed through his mind, bringing another blush to his face.

Charlene nodded. “The wolf was bigger than I thought it would be,” she admitted. “And those teeth look wicked sharp.”

“They are,” Remus replied, pulling back his sleeve in order to give her visual evidence of just how sharp they were.

The wound was still raw and even Remus didn’t like to look at it too closely. He tried not to blame Charlene for the way she drew back in her seat at the sight of it. He also tried not to compare her reaction with that of Sirius, who had sealed the open wound so carefully that morning, and had later kissed the ugly scar so softly Remus had barely felt it.

“This is what I am,” Remus said quietly. “Each month brings with it new pains and new scars. In the easiest months it’s just a couple of scratches, faint enough to mostly fade after a while. In the harder ones I get scars like this one is going to leave. This is just one of many.”

“Is that why you didn’t want us to go all the way?” Charlene asked.

Remus nodded. “Partly, yes. I’m seventeen years old and my body already has more scars than most other people gather in a lifetime.”

“I’ve not seen that many.”

“Of course you haven’t. Most of them are on my arms and legs. Those are the parts of the body that the wolf can get its teeth round without any difficulty. But they’re there, and they’re only going to be added to as I get older.” Remus pulled his sleeve back down and covered up the scratch. “You can’t even bear to look at it, and yet you think you can handle getting up close and personal with the rest of them.”

“You’re not even giving me a chance!”

“Fine!” Remus pulled back his sleeve again and thrust his arm across the table. “Go ahead, touch it.”

“Won’t it hurt you if I do?” Charlene asked, making no movement to reach out.

“You think a bit of a twinge from someone touching this even compares to what I go through at the start and end of every full moon? You’ve got no idea!”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Charlene insisted.

“Touch it!” Remus snapped. “Just bloody well touch it!”

He wasn’t surprised that she didn’t reach out, nor that she gathered her things together and ran from the room. However, he was surprised at how little her leaving him alone hurt, at least compared to when Sirius had left him that morning.

He pulled his sleeve back down and made his way upstairs to the dormitory. As soon as he entered the room he realised that he was not the only one who was skipping classes. The curtains of Sirius’s bed were drawn tightly closed, and Remus could hear what sounded like choked sobs coming from within.

He paused at the edge of the bed, knowing that the occupant was far too distressed to have heard him enter the room.

He was tempted to give Sirius some privacy and leave the room, but his heart was aching at the sounds coming from the four-poster and he cautiously approached the curtains.

“Sirius?” he whispered.

There was a sound of a choked sniffle before Sirius replied. “Fuck off!”

Remus pulled back the curtain and sat down on the edge of the bed. “No,” he said, shifting into a more comfortable position.

Sirius watched him moving and frowned. “Does it hurt an awful lot?” he asked.

Remus ducked his head and felt his face flushing once more. “Not as much now,” he said as honestly as he could.

“We shouldn’t have done it,” Sirius said as he said up and looked at Remus. “If we hadn’t, then maybe you’d not be so scared now.”

“I’m not scared,” Remus argued defensively. “I’m just not like you… like that.”

Sirius sighed and a hard look came over his countenance; it was a look that Remus couldn’t recall ever having seen before, at least not on the face of his best friend.

“What?” he asked, cautiously.

“Fuck off, Remus,” Sirius replied quietly. “If you still aren’t prepared to admit that you fancy me, then fuck the hell off of my bed, and don’t bother coming back until you do.”

“Sirius…”

“No!” Sirius shouted. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care to listen to the same crap you came out with earlier, so do us both a favour and fuck off!”

“Fine!” Remus snarled as he climbed off the bed, struggling to cover up his wince at the sharp movement.

He tried not to feel hurt that Sirius merely shut the curtains behind him. Sirius, who had always shown nothing but the utmost concern for Remus, had, for the first time he could recall, turned his back on him when he was in pain.

“At least I’m not the one being a bloody girl, crying all the time and acting all feminine,” he called towards the closed curtains.

Sirius pulled back the curtain and glared at him. “It won’t be happening again,” he snarled, climbing off the bed and stalking out of the dormitory. “You’re not worth it!”

Remus turned to his own bed and pulled back the covers. He stripped off as quickly as he could and climbed into the bed. He wasn’t tired, but he knew that he was the one student in the school who could sleep this particular afternoon away without being reprimanded by Professor McGonagall. He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to sleep, hoping that when he woke again the last twenty four hours wouldn’t have happened at all.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius sat on the edge of the wooden dock at the lakeside. It wasn’t his favourite place to hang out; the planks were old and damp no matter what time of year it was. But it was out of sight of both Gryffindor Tower and the staff room, in case he wanted to sneak a quick fag.

He reached into the pocket of his robes, feeling past Moony’s Map and pulling out his wand. He pointed it at the water and cast a spell to start a small whirlpool.

“The merfolk will be pissed off if they catch you,” James said as he walked towards him and sat down.

“They have to catch me first,” Sirius replied as he cast another spell, this one to make the whirlpool even more powerful.

“You want to talk about it?” James asked.

“About what?” Sirius replied with feigned casualness.

James, realising that he would have to spell it out for Sirius, sighed. “Why aren’t you and Remus talking to each other?”

“None of your business.”

“The two of you are making the atmosphere in the dorm unbearable,” James pointed out. “That makes it my business.”

“So, why harass me about it? Why not go and talk to Remus?”

“I already have.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And what did he say?”

“He told me to fuck off.”

“Most sensible thing he’s said all week,” Sirius said as he stood up.

“Sirius?” James said, stalling him from returning to the castle.

“What now?”

“There’s a Hogsmeade weekend coming up just before the next full moon; you should invite a girl to go there with you.”

“What?” Sirius asked, his mouth gaping at James’s suggestion.

James sighed. “Some of the lads are starting to talk,” he explained. “They’re starting to suspect you might not be one for the girls. Unless you want the whole school knowing which way you swing, you’ll take my advice.”

“When I want your advice, I’ll ask for it!” Sirius snapped and he turned his back on James and stalked towards the castle.

The whirlpool he had conjured was still stirring the waters of the lake, and he was half way up the path when he heard the sound of a merman breaking the surface of the water and berating James for the disturbance. He should have been sorry for getting his friend into trouble, but he only had so much sympathy to spare, and at the moment he was far too busy feeling sorry for himself.

-o-xXx-o-

“Give it a bloody rest,” Remus complained. He didn’t bother to look up from his textbook in order to reply to his brother.

“I told you to sort things out with them, not to stop speaking to them and go into a week long sulk.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“Well, you’re doing a pretty good impression of it,” Romulus muttered. “Where’s Sirius?”

“I don’t know, I’m not his keeper.”

“And Charlie?”

“Probably out buying everything silver she can find in order to keep me at bay.”

Romulus rolled his eyes and muttered something about stubborn werewolves who should start acting their age.

“She said she was going to the library,” Remus finally replied.

“And Sirius?”

“I don’t know.”

Romulus raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“I really don’t know,” Remus said. “He has the map with him.”

“So, you’ve tried to find him?”

“No… I was going to use it to avoid him.”

“You can’t avoid him forever.”

“Obviously,” Remus replied sarcastically. “We both have Defence this afternoon.”

“Remus,” Romulus said quietly. “Don’t you see how much damage you’re doing by denying your feelings? You could lose your best friend forever if you don’t do something about this.”

“It seems to me that the only way I can keep my best friend is to have sex with him.”

“You know Sirius would never force you to be with him if you didn’t want to be.”

“I don’t want to be with him.”

“But you did a week ago.”

“That was Moony.”

Romulus looked as frustrated as Remus had ever seen him, but he had no intention of backing down. He closed his textbook and shoved it into his bag. “I’m going to study in the courtyard,” he said.

“It looks like its going to rain,” Romulus pointed out.

“But it’s a nice busy place thoroughfare, which means you can’t harass me about this there.”

“I’m not harassing you.”

“Not any more,” Remus replied as he left the dormitory, slamming the door behind him.

-o-xXx-o-

“I swear they’re driving me up the wall.” James was whispering in the darkness of the dormitory, and keeping Sirius awake in the process.

Sirius pulled a pillow over his head to try and drown out the voices, but he was unable to do so. He wished he could reach his wand in order to cast an imperturbably charm, but he could not do so without the other boys realising he was still awake.

“I don’t get what’s happened?” Peter replied. “They were fine a few weeks ago.”

“I think something happened during the last full moon,” James said. “They were fine before then.”

“I heard that Charlie snuck out to Remus’s,” Peter whispered confidentially.

“Really? Who did you hear that from?”

“It’s common knowledge. I thought you knew.”

“That must be why Remus and Charlie aren’t speaking either. I wondered why they’d broken up.”

“We’ve not broken up,” Remus suddenly called out impatiently.

“So, why aren’t you talking to her?” James asked.

“She’s not talking to me,” Remus argued. “There’s a difference.”

“Why not?” Peter asked, and Sirius could hear that he had moved from his own bed to James, in order to hear Remus better.

Remus sighed loudly and a second set of feet padded across to James. “She did come to my place at the full moon,” he told them. “Moony got mad and she got scared. She doesn’t want to date some ugly, scarred werewolf, not now she knows what it really means.”

“Charlie doesn’t really seem like the type to get scared,” James said, and Peter immediately voiced his agreement.

“She was when she saw this,” Remus said.

Sirius sat up and peered through the curtains. He could see Remus was pulling back the sleeve of his pyjamas, and James and Peter were leaning in close to see the scar that Sirius knew was there.

“Cool!” James said, leaning forward to poke at it.

Sirius could see Remus wincing from his bed, and he stifled the urge to go over and smack James for being so thoughtless.

“It looks kind of icky,” Peter said. “Is it supposed to be like seeping like that?”

“No,” Remus replied. “It’s the arm I lean on when I’m writing; I keep catching it and it’s not healing properly. It needs re-sealing. I’m just crap at healing spells though.”

“Why don’t you ask Sirius to sort it for you?” James suggested.

“Because we’re not exactly talking at the moment,” Remus reminded him. “I’ll go see Madam Pomfrey when she returns from her conference at St. Mungo’s.”

“There’s always that Junior Healer they’ve got in until then,” Peter added.

Remus shook his head; they all knew that the Junior Healer was pretty useless and it was a total waste of time to go to her for anything. Rumour had it that she’d actually fainted the previous week.

Sirius scowled and climbed out of bed. He could feel the other boys watching him as he grabbed his wand from the bedside table and walked across the room. “Give it here,” he ordered, pointing at Remus’s arm.

“It’s fine,” Remus muttered, tugging the sleeve back into place.

“Pomfrey isn’t going to be back until the day before the next full moon,” Sirius reminded him. “It could get infected if you leave it until then.”

Remus looked like he wanted to argue, but he did pull back his sleeve once more and held out his arm obediently.

“It’s infected already,” Sirius said as soon as he saw it. “Hold on a minute while I get the book Pomfrey gave me.”

Remus nodded as Sirius fetched the book and flipped through the pages, searching for the spell to remove the infection. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” he muttered as he searched for the spell. “You’d rather let your arm get this bad, than simply ask me for help?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to,” Remus admitted.

Sirius scowled at him. “You really don’t know me at all, do you?” he said. Then, without waiting for Remus to reply, he pointed his wand at the wound and cleaned it thoroughly.

Remus swore under his breath and hissed in pain.

“Does it hurt?” James asked.

“Of course it bloody hurts,” Remus replied, his fingers clenched into a fist.

Sirius finished cleaning and sealing the wound and closed his book. “Try leaving the bandage on it this time,” he advised.

“I can’t flick my wand properly with a bandage on,” Remus argued.

“Fine, don’t take my advice,” Sirius muttered. “But for your own sake, at least tell me if it gets infected again, unless you fancy the idea of losing your arm, of course?”

“No, of course I don’t want to lose my arm,” Remus snapped.

“Then stop being an idiot,” Sirius snapped back.

“So, why are you two arguing?” Peter asked.

“None of your business,” both boys replied simultaneously.

Sirius turned and walked back to his own bed, tossing his book and wand on the bedside table and climbing back under the covers.

Peter and Remus went back to their own beds and soon two sets of snores were heard.

“Sirius?” Remus called across the room quietly.

Sirius was tempted to ignore him, to pretend to be asleep, too.

“Sirius?” Remus called again.

“What?” Sirius replied impatiently.

“Thanks for fixing up my arm,” Remus whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Sirius replied.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

-o-xXx-o-

Remus sat down opposite Charlene in the library three days before the next full moon.

“Does this mean you’re done avoiding me?” Charlene asked.

Remus didn’t bother to deny that this is what he had been doing. “Yes.”

“And what now?”

“It’s up to you,” Remus told her.

“How’s your arm?” Charlene asked instead.

“Sore,” Remus muttered. “Sirius had to fix it up for me again.”

“Sirius, huh?”

“Yes,” Remus confirmed, somewhat testily.

“You want to go into Hogsmeade with the others?” Charlene asked, clearly trying to steer the conversation back onto smoother waters.

“Sure,” Remus replied with a nod. “We should get there in time for lunch.”

Charlene nodded her agreement to the suggestion and gathered her things together.

Remus knew that they still had a lot to talk about, but at least now they were going to talk instead of just arguing.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius slipped out of the changing room of Gladrags and made a beeline for Katy Fenwick.

“There you are,” she said with a sigh of relief. “I thought you were never going to get here.”

“That makes two of us,” Sirius replied. “Was that last customer trying on every robe in the shop?”

“Just about,” Katy said with a laugh. “Shall we go and meet Benjy then? He’s probably wondering where we are.”

Sirius nodded and they walked out into the road. He could feel the eyes of several of the students on him and knew that they were wondering who it was he was with. It wasn’t a date, or even a pretend one, but if the other students thought it was, then he had no intention of correcting their false assumption.

“Did Benjy tell you that he got a job at the Ministry?” Katy asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed. “Something in one of the international affairs departments, right?”

“That’s right. He’s so chuffed. He’s always wanted to travel.”

They chatted as they made their way to The Three Broomsticks and ordered some lunch. Benjy arrived a few minutes after they had ordered, and made his way to the bar to order his own food.

Sirius and Katy continued to chat and Benjy soon joined them.

“Why do you keep looking over at the bar?” Katy asked Benjy as they tucked into their food.

“Just a bunch of idiots over there at the end,” Benjy replied.

“What do you mean?”

“They’re gossiping about you and Sirius; some of them thought you were on a date.”

“You know we’re not,” Katy pointed out. “It was your idea for Sirius to meet me first.”

“Yeah, I know. I set them straight.”

“Well, that’s good. Isn’t it?”

“I thought so,” Benjy said. “Until one of them called Sirius a shirt-lifter.”

Sirius nearly choked on his mouthful of vegetables.

“Well, that’s just ridiculous,” Katy said as she thumped Sirius on his back.

“Is it?” Benjy asked, and suddenly Sirius was the focus of his attention.

Sirius put down his fork and took a drink of his butterbeer.

“Is it?” Benjy repeated.

Sirius couldn’t meet his friend’s eyes, and he realised that Benjy wasn’t going to be anywhere near as understanding as Remus or James had been about things.

“You are, aren’t you?” Benjy hissed. “You’re a bloody pouf!”

“Benjy,” Sirius whispered, but his voice trailed off immediately, and he didn’t know what to say.

“Come on, Katy,” Benjy said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Katy gave Sirius an apologetic look, but she still followed her brother out of the pub.

Sirius’s appetite was gone, and when he saw how many students were in the building, and how many had heard what Benjy had said, he wondered if it would ever return. He stood up and pulled on his cloak, hurrying to leave as quickly as possible.

He didn’t see Remus sitting across the room with Charlene.

“Maybe you should go after him?” Charlene suggested as Sirius bolted for the door.

“He’ll be okay,” Remus said. “He’s had the school gossiping about him before.”

“Your best friend has just been outed; he probably needs someone to show him a bit of support.”

Remus knew that she was right and stood up to follow after Sirius. Charlene declared her intention to do a little shopping before meeting them back at Hogwarts, and Remus set out to see if Sirius was all right.

Unfortunately, he was nowhere in sight. Slightly worried for his friend, Remus hurried back to Hogwarts, expecting to find Sirius in the Gryffindor common room, or perhaps hiding out in the dormitory. It was only after he checked the map that he realised that Sirius was not on the grounds of the school, or anywhere in sight at all.

Remus had no way of knowing that his friend had been waylaid on his way back to the school, and that Remus had in fact passed him almost as soon as he had left Hogsmeade.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius hurried along the path back to Hogwarts, his head down in order to avoid looking anyone in the eye. He didn’t see the half dozen students who suddenly blocked his path until he was upon them.

“Black,” the tallest one greeted him with an unpleasant smile.

Sirius nodded his own greeting and tried to step around them. Suddenly he was feeling very small in the face of the larger boys.

“Not out here in the open,” one of the other boys muttered.

“He’s right,” a third agreed. “The other side of those trees should do.”

Sirius looked at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where the boy was pointing. There was no way he was going in there with them. He reached into his pocket and gripped his wand. A nice good hex on the ringleader, and with a bit of luck the rest would leave him alone.

He pulled out his wand, pointed it at his target and called out the first hex that came into his mind. Unfortunately, three of the other boys had anticipated his move and his wand flew from his hand and out of his reach before the stinging hex was even completed.

“This way,” the tallest boy ordered, and Sirius found himself being pushed roughly towards the trees.

He shoved back at the gang as hard as he could, trying to reach for his wand, but the boy who held it was keeping well out of his way.

They were soon hidden well within the trees, and Sirius found himself being pushed back towards a large Oak, a wand held at his throat.

“Okay, you’ve had your fun, now,” Sirius said. “You’ve got one over on a prefect. Well done. Now just give me back my wand, and I won’t say anything more about it.”

“This isn’t because you’re a prefect,” the ringleader said. “This is because you’re a pouf.”

Sirius had had a suspicion that that might be the case; he recognised at least two of the boys from the pub. They must have practically flown to get ahead of him on the path.

“Going to deny it?” one of the other boys asked.

“He’s not going to deny it,” the ringleader said. “He’s going to admit it for us, aren’t you, Black? You’re going to admit that you’re just a dirty little cock-sucker, so that we can all hear it for ourselves.”

“Go to hell,” Sirius snarled, pushing the boy away as hard as he could. It was a mistake, and suddenly two sets of arms were pinning him back against the tree, and the ringleader had his wand at his throat once more.

“Admit it,” he repeated. “Say it, go on. Say that you like to suck cocks, and then we’ll let you go.”

Sirius didn’t believe him, but he didn’t have much choice in the matter. The boy on his right was twisting his arm tightly and he gave every impression of being capable of snapping the bones of his arm without even breaking a sweat. “I like other blokes,” he whispered, and wasn’t surprised when he wasn’t released.

“Now, now,” the ringleader chided. “That wasn’t what I told you to say, was it? I mean, I like blokes, my best mates are blokes, but I don’t like to suck their cocks, do I?”

The rest of the boys laughed at his comments and the ringleader turned back to Sirius once more. “Say it, properly this time… tell us how much you like to suck cocks.”

Sirius briefly considered spitting in the boy’s eye, but his mouth was too dry even to manage that. Instead he forced the words out of his mouth. “I like to suck cocks,” he whispered.

“I don’t think the lads at the back heard that,” the ringleader said. “Say it again, louder.”

“I like to suck cocks,” Sirius repeated in his normal voice, spitting out the words through gritted teeth.

“Still didn’t catch it,” the boy holding Sirius’s wand called. “Make him shout it.”

The ringleader laughed. “You heard him,” he said to Sirius. “Shout it out, so we can all hear you admit it.”

Sirius closed his eyes, his face burning with embarrassment. “I like to suck cocks,” he shouted.

“That’s better,” the ringleader said.

“Now let me go!” Sirius said.

The ringleader shook his head. “Not just yet,” he replied. “We want to make sure that you know we don’t exactly approve of those sorts of perverted carryings on.”

“Oh, I already got the message,” Sirius told him.

“I don’t think he has,” the one on his right arm commented, twisting the limb again for good measure.

“But you will,” the ringleader said, putting his wand away and stepping closer. “You will.”

Sirius couldn’t step back because of the tree, nor could he step to the left or the right because of the two boys holding him in place. All he could do was stand there while the ringleader placed his hands on his shoulders and quickly brought his knee up sharply, making contact with his groin.

Sirius thought he might actually be sick with the pain, and he drew in deep gulps of air as his eyes watered.

He hadn’t even straightened up again when the first fist hit him in the stomach. Were it not for the two boys holding him up, he would have doubled over in pain. Then a hand was pulling his head back, yanking him by the hair, so that he was looking into the face of his chief tormentor.

“You’re just a dirty little cock-sucker,” he snarled. “Say it, Black… what are you?”

“A d-dirty little cock-sucker,” Sirius rasped out between gasps.

“You’re not fit to be a wizard like the rest of us… say it!”

“I’m not fit to be a wizard,” Sirius repeated, praying that they would end their torture soon.

“You want your wand back?” the boy holding it asked, twirling it in his hand like a baton. He clearly had no intention of handing it over, but was eager to rub it in that he had taken it from him so easily.

Sirius nodded as much as he could, which wasn’t much considering the ringleader was still holding him by the hair.

“Maybe I should hex him with his own wand…” the boy suggested with a grin. “What do you think would be suitable?”

“Well, since he’s such a girl, you could try and give him a pair of tits and take away the cock he clearly doesn’t know how to use properly,” one of the boys standing nearby suggested.

“You know he’s crap at those sort of spells,” the ringleader pointed out. “I say we deal with him the muggle way, since he’s not fit to be a wizard. Maybe it’ll teach him a lesson for the future.” His final words were punctuated with a flying fist that sent Sirius to the ground, along with one of his two captors. The second one had the sense to let him go.

Sirius pulled a shaking hand up to his face and gingerly felt his nose. He was pretty sure it was broken and there was blood running down his face, dripping down into the mud.

He had barely registered what had happened when he felt the first of many kicks to his stomach, groin, and back.

He struggled to turn over onto his stomach, trying to shield his groin from the most violent of the blows.

He was trying to get to his feet when he felt the crushing pain of a boot grinding into his hand.

“Is this the hand you wank with?” the owner of the boot asked, pressing the heel in a little more.

Sirius heard a sickening crack and knew that at least one of his fingers had broken. The boot hadn’t even left his hand, when he felt a second one pressing down on the back of his neck, constricting his throat, choking him under the pressure. Even worse though, he could feel a telltale rush of warm liquid between his legs and he knew his humiliation was complete.

The boot disappeared from his throat and he felt a sharp kick to the side of his head. A few more kicks followed, but Sirius’s shattered hand hurt far too much to really note where they were falling.

“I think he’s got the message,” the ringleader finally said. “Just one more thing. I want him to see when I do this, turn him onto his back.”

Sirius felt hands roughly turning him over and his prayers for this to end were rapidly replaced with prayers for them not to notice the wet stain on the front of his trousers.

His prayers were ignored, just as he would have expected them to be.

“Oh, brilliant!” a voice crowed with laughter. “The pouf’s actually pissed in his pants.”

The rest of the boys howled with laughter, too, the ringleader loudest of all. “Have you wet your knickers, pouf?” he asked.

Sirius felt too sick to even try to reply; instead, he mustered up the best glare he could manage.

“Maybe we should vanish his trousers and see if the pouf wears women’s underwear, too?” one of the boys suggested.

“Vanish them with his own wand,” the ringleader suggested. “It can be the last spell it ever casts.”

“What?” Sirius whispered, and then he felt the cool spring breeze against his bare legs. He was thankful that his boxers remained on his person, wet and urine-stained though they were.

The boys were laughing louder than ever, and Sirius reached down with his good hand, trying to cover up his shameful weakness.

“Looks like he wants to toss one off for us,” one of the boys said, prompting more laughter from his friends.

Sirius struggled to sit up, crying out in pain as he did. “Give me back my wand,” he asked, trying not to think of it as begging.

“In a minute,” the ringleader asked, taking the wand in question from the boy who held it out to him.

“Give it back!” Sirius repeated, louder and harsher this time.

“The wizarding world doesn’t need the likes of you in it,” the ringleader said as he held the wand in front of Sirius, but well out of his reach.

“No!” Sirius yelled, but it was too late; the ringleader snapped his wand in half, tossing the broken pieces at him.

His wand, never truly out of his possession since the day he had bought it, was broken forever.

He didn’t listen to the other boys as they left, nor did he notice the ringleader’s fist flying at his head for a second time, this time rendering him unconscious.

-o-xXx-o-

When Sirius came round he didn’t recognise his surroundings at all. He certainly wasn’t back at Hogwarts, unless he had been dumped in the stables. There was a distinct horsy smell to the air.

He turned his aching head to one side and saw the familiar countenance of Firenze looking down at him.

“Where am I?” he whispered.

“You were found by one of the patrols and brought back to the camp,” Firenze told him. “What happened?”

“Got set upon by a bunch of thugs,” Sirius replied. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” Firenze echoed. “You’ve got several broken ribs, two broken fingers and a broken nose, too. I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

“I’ll be okay.” Sirius tried to sit up, but his head was spinning too much to manage it. “I have to get back before curfew.”

“Curfew has been and gone,” Firenze told him. “You’ve been out of it since you were found yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” Sirius asked. “I’ll be expelled for sure.”

“I’m sure you won’t,” Firenze promised. “Dumbledore will be far more concerned about what happened to you.”

“I have to get back to school,” Sirius repeated. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”

“You aren’t going anywhere,” Firenze stated firmly.

“Can I at least send an owl to the school, so they know where I am?” Sirius asked.

“We don’t use owls to communicate,” Firenze explained. “That’s the wizard way.”

“But you must have some way of getting word to them.”

Firenze nodded and glanced across the room at a centaur who Sirius had not noticed before.

“You know what the price is,” the centaur said to Firenze.

“I know,” Firenze replied coldly.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asked, his curiosity aroused by the obvious tension in the room.

Firenze turned to him. “To use a term you would understand, I’ve been checkmated.”

“The ceremony will take place within the hour,” the older centaur announced. “The feathers you require will be the gift to the Sponsor of my son.”

Firenze nodded and Magorian left the room.

“I don’t understand,” Sirius said.

“We use arrows to send messages,” Firenze explained. “We use our own form of magic to ensure that they reach their destination. Part of the magic involves using something closely tied to the recipient as either part of the arrow or the parchment that is written on. My father corresponded with Dumbledore for many years, and your headmaster provided him with a supply of phoenix feathers to be used when making arrows to send messages to him. Magorian has those now, and will only let me have what I need if I agree to sponsor his son.”

Sirius recalled Remus telling him about this and didn’t really need to hear the answer to his next question. “And give up your birthright?” he asked.

Firenze nodded.

“Why can’t someone just go to the school and tell them I’m here?”

“Magorian has closed the gates and refused all requests to leave.”

“So, I’m a prisoner here?” Sirius asked. “But won’t the teachers be looking for me?”

“And your friends,” Firenze added. “Unfortunately, Magorian cares nothing for such things, only that he gets what he wants.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Firenze assured him. “If it hadn’t been this, it would have been something else. I promise that I will get word sent by arrow to Dumbledore as soon as the ceremony is done. Then it will just be a question of waiting for him and your Madam Pomfrey to come and heal you.”

“Madam Pomfrey’s away at the moment,” Sirius told him. “Now I think about it, I’d much rather just stay here until the full moon.”

“I don’t believe your teachers would allow that.”

“I don’t want to go back there, yet,” Sirius whispered. “It’s only a couple of days. Can you at least ask? I’m of age, they’ll let me stay here, I know it.”

Firenze looked doubtful, but he promised to add Sirius’s request to the letter.

The sponsoring ceremony took place nearly an hour later. Within an hour of the conclusion Firenze had sent word to Dumbledore, who had immediately arrived at the camp and had repaired Sirius’s various broken bones.

“Now, what’s all this about not wanting to come back to Hogwarts?” he asked as he sat down opposite Sirius.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders and cast a quick involuntary glance at the broken pieces of his wand. Whoever had found him had found those, too, and had left them in his possession.

“Is it the wand?” Dumbledore asked, pulling out his own wand and looking at it thoughtfully. He reached across and cast a quick reparo, fixing the wand in a flash. “Now, you have no excuse not to join your classmates in their lessons tomorrow.”

“They don’t want me there,” Sirius muttered.

“Who doesn’t?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Sirius replied, picking up his wand and checking it for damage. There was none to be found.

Dumbledore nodded slowly. “Being different is never easy, even in these modern times. Even we Gryffindors struggle to find our courage on occasion.”

“What would you know about being different?” Sirius asked. “You’re the greatest wizard ever born.”

“I am, am I?” Dumbledore replied with a chuckle. “Would it interest you to know that I am just as different as you are?”

Sirius looked at the headmaster curiously. “How so?” he asked.

Dumbledore smiled. “When you’re as old as I am, you start to recognise the signs.”

“Signs?”

“Signs of others like myself,” Dumbledore told him with a wink. “You didn’t think you were the first gay wizard to attend Hogwarts, did you?”

Sirius shook his head. “You mean that you’re…?”

“Oh, yes,” Dumbledore replied. “Very much so.”

“What happens now then?” Sirius asked.

“Well, that’s up to you,” Dumbledore told him. “You are of age, and if you wish, you may leave Hogwarts at any time.”

“I can?”

Dumbledore nodded. “Though I would hope you would have more courage than that.”

“I have got courage,” Sirius insisted. “I have!”

“Then I suggest that you summon up a little of it,” Dumbledore told him sternly. “Remus will need you during the full moon. If you want to stay here with the centaurs for a few days to think things through and recover I am told that Magorian will allow it, but don’t leave it any longer than the full moon before you return.”

Sirius nodded. “Will you tell my friends where I am?” he asked.

“And have them sneaking out into the forest to see you?” Dumbledore asked, shaking his head. “I’ll tell them that you are safe, and for Remus to expect you back at the full moon.”

Sirius promised he would return for the full moon and Dumbledore stood up to leave. He stood up as well, to walk the headmaster out, but he was still aching from the beating and his movements were slow. Broken bones were easy to mend, but the bruises still lingered. It wasn’t entirely a lie that he needed a little more time to recover.

“I’ll go to Remus’s from here on the evening of the full moon,” he promised once more, though he had no idea whether Remus would actually want him there.

Dumbledore nodded one final time and left. It was only after he had gone that Sirius realised that he had left a small bundle of items on the end of his bed. Sirius looked at what he had brought him and saw that there were spare clothes, his schoolbooks for the subjects he would be missing, and notes from his teachers telling him what the lessons were covering and what the homework was.

Sirius smiled when he realised that Dumbledore had always intended to let him stay at the camp for a couple of days, but had no intention of letting him slack off during his absence.