Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 18

November 24

It took ages for the damn rat to wake up. Ages that we did not have the luxury to wait.

In the meantime, I spent my time reading in the library with Harry and the couple for company. Fortunately, Weasel had found some kind of way to control himself and keep it in his pants for long enough to have some real conversations with Harry and I.

He and Granger would still, however, sit uncomfortably close together and hold hands or give each other loving looks that would have made Lavender Brown vomit.

Yes, Harry briefly mentioned Weasel dated her. He also “briefly” mentioned the fact that their public displays of affection were some of the most frightening scenes he’d ever witnessed, this including the murder of Cedric Diggory and Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort coming back to power, the little bit that he could remember of his parents’ murders, the Dementor attacks, facing the Basilisk and seeing my bleeding and dying body on the ground after knowing that he was the cause of it.

Yes, all those things were somehow less disturbing to him than watching his best mate snog this girl in public.

I’m not surprised. I can honestly say that facing Voldemort and having my family’s lives threatened (as well as my own), being tortured by my father and witnessing Dumbledore’s death were all preferable experiences to watching Granger and Weasel snog on the couch that day…

Not that it hadn’t served it’s purpose in the long run…

But I’m getting away from myself here.

Every time his friends would make goo-goo eyes at one another, Harry would put up an uncomfortable and nervous smile before glancing over at me, trying to avoid having to watch.

The moments wouldn’t last long, thankfully, as Granger seemed determined to discuss important matters. But perhaps her determination was wavering. Just a bit.

We talked for a while about Horcruxes and where whatever information we got from Godric’s Hollow might lead. That didn’t go very far and eventually Harry decided to change the subject. He asked about how the She-Weasel was doing, about Weasel’s other family members and if “Bill and Fleur enjoyed their honeymoon”.

Apparently, according to Weasel, it didn’t last long because it was too dangerous.

Fancy that.

So I turned most of my attention back to the book I was reading. About Inferi. For some reason my reading always turn back to them.

Just as I was getting to a part about the effects of Inferi on the living, there was a reverberating shriek that could be heard throughout the house. It sounded as though someone was being tortured.

Looking up in shock at one another, we froze until we could make out the words that were being yelled.

“SNAPE YOU VILE TRAITOR! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING!! LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU COWARD!! THE DARK LORD SHALL KNOW YOUR DISOBEDIENCE! HE SHALL KNOW OF YOUR TRECHERY! MARK MY WORDS SNAPE!!”

Pettigrew was awake.

We, almost instantaneously and in perfect unison, jumped from our seats and tore from the library to get to the small room that contained Wormtail. We arrived to find that Lupin, Tonks and Shacklebolt were already standing in front of the door. Lupin hand his hand on the door handle, staring at it intently as though desperately trying to decide whether or not to open the door.

It looked like a difficult battle but finally he glanced over at us and turned the door handle to step into the small makeshift dungeon. We followed in as closely as we could, all squishing into the tiny room.

Pettigrew was, of course, still lying on the bed with his limbs bound, but he looked different now. His face was livid until he spotted Lupin standing before him. Then his watery blue eyes shifted to pure fear and he glanced from each person in the room to the next until his eyes finally landed on me and then Harry.

There were strangled tears in his eyes though it could have been from the fact that the shackles seemed to have shrunk on him and were tightened around his wrists and ankles. The runes that were drawn all over his skin also looked to be raw and red, as though they’d been burnt into his skin suggesting that he had attempted (and failed) to transform.

“R-r-remus!” he spluttered, his voice suddenly quavering. “My old friend! You’ve come to save me! I knew you would! You were always the kindest of us, Remus.”

Lupin’s face contorted almost incomprehensibly to a very mild snarl. The sudden shift in his worn features, however, gave him the strong look of a wolf and Pettigrew’s entire body tensed as he tried to wince away from the look that his “old friend” had given him.

He relaxed his face again and shook his head at Wormtail.

“You were always a terrible liar, Peter,” he said as calmly as he could. I could tell from the way the veins in the side of his neck seemed to grow slowly, that he was fighting very hard not to give in to his wolfish tendencies and attack the traitor in front of him. “It’s a miracle you’ve managed to stay alive so long. I’m surprised that Voldemort bothered to keep you around at all.” Then a small and rather dark smile flitted across his face. “Oh no wait, he didn’t, did he? He sent you to stay with Snape. Traitors stick together, I imagine.”

“R-remus p-please!” he pleaded, struggling against the ever tightening shackles. His face was red but wrought with worry and fear. I couldn’t help but let myself smirk at the sight of him. I glanced over at Harry for a moment and saw that his expression was the more extreme version of what Lupin had done. He was snarling and glaring daggers at Pettigrew… though he didn’t look like a wolf at all… but another animal. “You have to under… understand! I c-couldn’t let you take me to… to the Dementors! They-…they would have…” He trailed off as though he was so afraid of the thought he couldn’t even speak the words. Lupin did not need to hear them.

“So, being the selfish cowardly rat that you are,” he began venomously. “You sacrificed Sirius’ life instead of facing your punishment. I suppose you didn’t feel as guilty this time… you must be getting so accustomed to letting your friends die to save yourself. I bet you didn’t even feel it when Sirius was killed.”

He quickly bit his tongue at his own words. I saw his throat twitch as though he was fighting back tears. I know that feeling. I’ve done it so many times.

“N-no, Remus… I would n-never… you were my friends!” he defended, though it was a pitiful defense. Lupin gave him a small smile.

“Yes, Peter,” he agreed quietly. “We were your friends.”

Pettigrew shrunk back again at the words. He glanced to Harry again and then to me.

“You… you were the one that the Dark Lord chose…” he muttered, staring into my chest. He couldn’t even look me in the eyes. “You are a traitor!”

Normally I might have been hurt or thrown back into my moments of self-doubt for a comment like that made clearly in front of all these people. But the circumstances were just too absurd. I cocked an eyebrow and gave a small smirk.

“That’s a bit rich coming from yourself,” I spat back. “At least I betrayed the right people. I’m a traitor to Voldemort and the Death-Eaters… those who threatened me and my family… those who are wreaking havoc on our world. You betrayed people who loved you in favor of the anarchy that’s overcome us. If I’m a traitor, what does that make you?”

It was rich. It was probably not the best choice of wording, considering that there were likely people around me that still believed me to be a traitor to both sides… but I’m not. I know this now. I know that I did the right thing and even though many people suffered for it… maybe I can make amends now. Maybe I can pay back my debts.

Wormtail desires no such act of repenting.

Lupin glanced over at me and nodded his assent. He turned back to Pettigrew and shook his head again.

“Draco is right,” he added. “You have no right to judge him. He is paying back his debts to those that he affected. In fact, he is the one that lead us to you.”

Wormtail’s eyes widened in horror at the admission and he struggled harder against his bindings, to no avail. Harry pulled his wand on Pettigrew. He had stayed unnaturally silent for all this time and I suspect it was only to stop himself from openly hexing the chained man.

“W-what… do you want with me?” he asked in a voice smaller than before. “R-remus, you know I have nothing to offer…”

“On the contrary, Peter,” Lupin said pleasantly though disdain tainted his words. “You have something of very much importance to us. You still hold the secret to the residence of Lily and James.”

He opened and closed his mouth several times before he even dared try to say something. Harry’s wand was still trained on Pettigrew’s chest and his eyes continued to shift in that direction though Lupin took no notice.

“B-but… Remus!” he spluttered. “Why would… would you want to go there? It is… it is destroyed!”

“That is not your concern,” Lupin replied evenly. “You will inform us of the secret address one way or another, Peter. I promise you.”

“But… but R-remus!” he pleaded further. His watery eyes now threatened to flow freely with tears of panic. “H-he… He will kill me! Y-you… you wouldn’t kill me, Remus! Harry! You wouldn’t kill me!”

I tensed. He spoke directly to Harry and suggested that he wouldn’t take his life?? WHAT KIND OF FOOL IS HE?

I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE HAD IT BEEN ME!

Harry tensed and his wand arm twitched as though he was seriously considering killing Pettigrew just to spite him. But something stayed him.

“You’re right, Peter,” Lupin admitted. Then he gave a strange and sadistic smile to his former friend. “But the full moon is approaching quickly and I haven’t any potion. As I cannot expose myself to anyone else in this house, perhaps I’ll just lock myself in here with you.”

And without another word, Lupin turned and left the room. Harry lingered for only a moment before running out after him and I followed closely on his heels. Pettigrew was screaming again and pleading for Lupin to return but he did not. I silently recognized a bit of my old self in Lupin and wondered more about him. There was a growing respect and admiration within me for the werewolf.

I followed Harry as he followed Lupin and we both stopped dead as he disappeared into a room and closed the door. Harry leaned his head against the wood for a moment then pulled back and dropped his gaze to the ground. I moved closer to hear through the wall as well and heard a strange and muffled howl. Then something on the door caught my attention. There was a small plaque there that was worn to the point where the writing was almost illegible, but still the word shone through the dust clearly enough for me to understand.

This was Sirius’ room.

Harry finally looked up and raised his fingers to the plaque, letting his fingertips run over the slightly engraved edges of the letters. He bit his lip hard and tried to stop himself from looking away from the door. I couldn’t do anything. I just stood there looking at him as he let some of the emotions that Lupin must have been feeling course through him as well. I have never felt much empathy, I won’t deny it.

But in those moments I can honestly say that I felt the way they did… perhaps just because Harry and Lupin are both of such a character that it’s impossible not to feel what they do in extreme moments like these.

Or maybe because I’ve known this feeling all along.

Harry dropped his hand and stood there a moment longer before turning to me. His eyes were gleaming with unshed tears and his mouth was shaped in a loathing grimace.

“Dumbledore was right about you, Draco,” he whispered to me. “You are neither a traitor nor a killer… but I am going to have to be. He thinks I wouldn’t kill him… he’s so sure of it.” He turned his head sideways for a moment. “And today he was right. But I will kill him one day. He will pay back his life debt to me… somehow.”

I found myself stuck. I was so conflicted with my emotions and the words he just spoke that all I could manage to do was nod. He turned and began to walk again. I followed him, though I wasn’t entirely aware of it.

Am I really not a killer? Is it impossible for me to do it? Am I not strong enough? Or am I too much of a coward? Does that mean that I’ll be useless to him and the Order in this war? Does that mean that I am a liability?

Does that mean that I am weak?

*******

November 30

He did it. He finally did it.

I was shaken awake by Harry this morning. He had a manic smile on his face though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He dragged me out of bed and down to the room in which we had sequestered Wormtail. He was still bound and shaking when we got there, his eyes wide and full of fright.

Lupin was standing calmly before him, surrounded by the rest of the people concerned. I blinked away my sleep and straightened up, realizing that I was wearing only some of the more baggy trousers that Harry had given me and the shirt he had abandoned in my room. I ran my fingers distractedly through my hair in a last ditch effort to look presentable before he started speaking.

“Alright, Peter,” Lupin said. “Everyone is present. Now tell us what you have to say.”

Wormtail looked even more frightened. I don’t know how they did it but he finally said it.

“The location of Lily and James Potter’s house in Godric’s Hollow is,” he said, his voice somewhat forced and choppy. “77 Snidget Lane!”

“Thank you, Peter,” Lupin nodded to him as he had clearly given the correct address.

“You have my blood on your hands, Remus!!” he screamed back suddenly. Lupin simply shook his head.

“I’m afraid not, Peter,” he whispered. “Though even if I had, it would be a small price to pay.”

And then we all left Pettigrew there to go and discuss our next course of action.

“I believe that you should leave as early as possible,” Lupin suggested. “Tomorrow would be best, if you can.”

“I agree,” Harry nodded. Then something struck him. “Wait… you aren’t coming?”

“I’m afraid not,” he answered quietly. His eyes were shiny in the light and I felt a pang in my chest as some kind of understanding. “It is too close to the full moon for me. I need to get out of here and take up residence somewhere safe. You will have to take Peter with you, as well. He might be of some use. Don’t worry. I have his wand and he is useless at wandless spells. Always has been.”

There was a lie hidden somewhere in there. The way Lupin spoke of his impending transformation suggested that there was also another reason he wasn’t going to go to Godric’s Hollow.

I think I know why…

I wouldn’t want to visit the places that those I love most were killed either… though the person that I love most isn’t dead.

…………

There is a frightening thought behind that comment and I don’t want to go there… there is nothing in it. I can’t be afraid of something like that.

“Well… is there anything we should bring?” Harry asked tentatively, looking at Lupin with understanding and compassion in his eyes.

“Your wands and your wits.” Lupin looked serious. “As far as I know, no one has visited your parents’ house since Voldemort fled there. I don’t know in what condition the house will be… or if there is any kind of danger there. But judging by the fact that Voldemort seems to want the place kept secret to any who weren’t already exposed to the secret, I’d say it’s safe to assume that there is something there he is trying to protect.”

“Right,” Harry said simply. His face was set and determined.

“And please…” Lupin began slowly. “Trust each other. Do not take what happened between the Marauders as some kind of precedence. You must all work together. This will be hard… for all of you.”

Harry looked down before nodding and getting up to leave and prepare. We all mimicked him and made to leave but Lupin caught my hand before I’d left. He held me back as everyone else was leaving.

“Draco,” he whispered. “You… you need to be there for him. You have more experience with the dark things that Voldemort would resort to than Ron and Hermione…and you have something else that they do not.”

“What’s that?” I asked, trying not to sound anxious or rude. It was difficult. He smiled sadly.

“You love him,” he stated bluntly. I straightened jerkily and pulled my arm away from him.

“I-… Wh…n-…” I tried to formulate some kind of sentence to deny it but I found that my mouth wouldn’t let me. My eyes jumped nervously to everything else in the room apart from Lupin.

“Just remember that,” he continued. “Don’t lose sight of it and he won’t either…”

I nodded vaguely to him before leaving feeling very uncomfortable, very lost. I only heard him say one more thing before I went.

“Don’t make the same mistake that I did…”

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: Ok soooooooo interesting chapter. Heartbreaking perhaps but it needed to be there. Lupin is love, even in his heart wrenching agony. And he’s uber perceptive too bahah. Also, I had to make up the street address for the Potter’s place, of course. It has some references to something, let’s see if you can figure out where I got it from :)

Kudos if you do hehehe

I’ve placed Godric’s Hollow in Southern Wales… near Carew (if Carew is in fact a town and not something random, I don’t know too much about Wales sadly) we shall say. Let’s just pretend ehehehe.

Anyway, hope you liked that! I’m hoping to get another chapter up tonight, so we’ll see what happens!

Love and cookies to all who review and all who have reviewed in the past! Snape’s true colours are still secret but I promise you, you will find out :)