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Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
65
Views:
4,114
Reviews:
93
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Faking the Truth
A/N - Once more thanks to my reviewers and to my lovely beta, Kate. I have been ambushed by the stomach flu again so there may be a very brief pause between this chapter and next, which is only half written. I apologize ahead of time.
Chapter 47 – Faking the Truth
“Let me get this straight, you want me to pretend to fall in love with Severus again, so that Voldemort can believe that its happening now even though it happened already?” Kathryn took a deep swallow of tea and gave Albus an amused look.
“That’s about right. Since Severus is going with the lot of you tonight to have Christmas Eve at Lieu D’Asile, there should be rumors starting anyway.” He responded with eyes bright and merry. “If it is too difficult an act, you can pretend he used a potion.”
“Albus!” Kathryn, Minerva and Severus all chorused together. He chuckled in response to their outrage.
Kathryn shrugged herself deeper into the comfortable wing chair in front of Albus’ fire. Since the elves had packed up and left yesterday, leaving a disconsolate Remus Lupin mourning his brief moments with Tali, she had been feeling restless and irritable. She had gotten no time with Severus since then, between her time under Poppy’s benign thumb and making the arrangements to get everyone to Louisiana for Christmas.
She needed to go home and see her family for the holidays. She needed to crawl into her bed at home, preferably with Severus, listening to the sounds of wind and water outside her window.
This new game was going to be both easy and hard. Easy because falling for Severus was as simple as breathing for her. Hard, because she had to look like she was at least a little resistant to the emotion.
Voldemort would never believe the truth that she had fallen easily, there had to be some wooing. Which could be fun, having Severus flirt and take her out would be nice, but having to look dubious when she would be melting inside would be less fun.
She blew her bangs out of her face with annoyance. It was time for a haircut. She was also turning the angles over in her head. The Arithmantical equations for Voldemort’s thinking processes had progressed till she had, at least, an idea that she knew where this was all leg tog to, but she still wasn’t positive about it. It was ambitious, which she expected, but if true, it was also stupid, which she didn’t expect.
“Is Moldy going crackers?” She asked Severus. He gave her that open smile of true amusement that so rarely graced his features.
“I have been asking myself that question for some time, if not quite with that wording.” He grabbed another scone and began to butter it liberally, clotted cream and strawberry jam following. “I think it is safe to say that there are some errors in his calculations.”
He took a bite of the scone, cream dribbling from it and she found herself fascinated by the delicate motions of his tongue as he lapped the cream form his finger. She needed to get the man to a bedroom and soon.
“Like thinking he can manipulate Grand-mére.” Kathryn snorted in disbelief.
“Too true, Marie is unlikely to let her guard down around him.” Albus nodded and Minerva looked thoughtful.
“But he must have some idea as to how he intends to use this love he has ordered Severus to cultivate.” Minerva sipped her tea and shifted in her chair, her bright eyes flicking between them all.
“He said nothing to me, but I was also in trouble for allowing Kathryn to summon the Elves.” Severus nibbled at thene wne with a thoughtful expression.
“I didn’t summon them! They volunteered and there was nothing I could do about it!” Kathryn retorted hotly. The kids’ tendency to give her credit for the Elves’ arrival was becoming annoying.
“Of course, Kathryn. I am certain that’s the case” Albus’ voice was sweetly indulgent and Kathryn ground her teeth in frustration. She knew he did that just to get her goat, but she still found it aggravating.
“I should make sure the students are finished packing.” Minerva said briskly rising with her usual energy and decision.
“I’ll come with you.” Kathryn said, happy to flee Albus in one of his teasing moods.
The two teachers escaped the tower office and both gave out identical sighs, looked at each other and then chuckled.
“Honestly, Kathryn, I love the man more than I can say, but there are days!” She shook her head in amused resignation.
“Are you certain that Severus isn’t his illegitimate son?” She retorted.
To her amazement that last comment cracked Minerva up. The older woman began to laugh so hard, she had to lean against a wall and hold her sides. Tears leaked from her eyes as she lost it completely.
“I didn’t think it was that funny.” Kathryn couldn’t help but smile, as Minerva’s laughter was infectious and lovely.
“Oh Kathryn, if you knew his parents, you would be laughing just as hard. Albus and Mrs. Snape can’t be in the same room together without wanting to hex each other and his father!” She dissolved back into giggles, which were surprisingly charming coming from her.
“They’re still alive?” Kathryn was surprised, as Severus always seemed to talk about them in the past tense.
“Oh aye, Kathryn.” Minerva straightened and wiped her eyes, still chuckling. “Still alive and still the most useless pair of idiots you have ever known.” Her voice rang with derision. “Severus takes after his grandfather, thank heaven, who was a brilliant man. His father only cares about bloodlines and Quidditch and his mother only cares about dress styles and gossip.” Minerva narrowed her eyes at some memory. “Offensive woman.”
“He doesn’t go home for the holidays then.” There was sorrow in her voice for she loved her huge unruly family. They were a trial sometimes, but their love was a secure harbor from which she could chart any course she chose.
“I don’t think he’s been home in more than twenty years.” Minerva wasn’t laughing now. “I can’t say as how I blame him either.” Minerva’s lips were pursed, her stride quick. Kathryn was forced to push her leg harder than she liked to keep up.
Four hours later Kathryn found herself standing at the Gates of Lieu D’Asile, clutching an old shoe. Harry, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Minuet and Severus stood behind her staring at the huge anti-bellum mansion with some surprise. It was a huge old house, with two stories and an attic that sprawled cheerfully across a huge plot of land.
It was also sandwiched between two other houses that were apparently next door to each other. The illusion was rather disconcerting, to say the least. A ghostly house between two solid ones one moment and then a solid house between two ghostly ones the next. Kathryn was used to it, but she could see Hermione’s eyes crossing slightly.
Severus’ eyebrow went up but Kathryn simply checked the street to make sure it was empty and then opened the wrought iron gate to the gravel walk. They trooped up the drive, the sound of the river growing louder as they approached the house.
“What’s that noise?” Minuet asked.
“The Mississippi. It flows right past the back yard. We’ll be lighting bonfires tonight to guide Pére Noel as he paddles up the river to bring gifts.” She smiled at the teen-agers’ dubious expressions and then braced for impact as the front door burst open.
She saw Severus doing the same, from the corner of her eye, as her family came falling out the door and rushing like the tide down the drive.
“Middle of eight, didn’t Gabe say that?” Harry murmured in awe as the flood of people showed no sign of abating.
“Yes but Great Grand-mére had fifteen children.” She tossed back to him as she opened her arms to her father who grabbed her and swung her around, as though it had been years he hadn’t seen her instead of just since October. Mingled among the people were dogs, cats and other familiars who added their own noise to the deafening clamor.
The new arrivals were herded towards the house while being hugged, talked at around and through, and relieved of their luggage by a dozen helping hands.
Harry and Ron were claimed instantly by Gabriel who dragged them off to the Quidditch pitch with a laughing group of the younger generation, Draco and Lillith following after more slowly. Minuet and Hermione were pounced on by a group of the girls and hauled away to parts unknown. They sent pleading looks to Severus as they were dragged off, but he merely waved them on with an airy gesture.
The adults drifted back into the house, strolling into a large foyer with a split staircase climbing the inner curve of it. The room was open to the roof, skylights let the warm southern sun drift down to the ground floor and elegant wooden balustrades decorated the upper floor.
They passed across the parquet flooring and into a light hallway that took them past several other doors, giving glimpses of the study, library and parlor and emerged onto the back lawn, a spectacular view of the river dominating the scene. White wicker chairs, tables and benches were scattered across the grass. Kathryn sighed in happiness, for this was home.
Even after her father got transferred to the Western Auror Command Post in San Francisco, the huge old house had been where they had come for holidays and family gatherings. It had housed the Laveau family for four generations and would continue to do so for a hundred more.
She settled onto a loveseat and Severus dropped down beside her, stretching his long legs out and enjoying the cool breezes off of the river. Huge live oaks grew around the yard, hung for Christmas with lanterns and fairy lights. The wood for the bonfire was neatly stacked next to the jetty and the house was lit from within as the exterior light began to fade into evening.
She curled into the circle of Severus’ arms and listened to her family as they caught each other up on their various activities. She was content to merely listen to the parade of marriages, jobs, children and vacations as they drifted over her.
“So what have you been up to, Kathryn?” It was her cousin, Mabel Lafitte. She was a dark haired woman, part Spanish and part French, and very proud of her good looks and social standing. She had lorded it over the less attractive Kathryn for most of her life, but Kathryn had given up caring around the time she received her second doctorate at fifteen.
“Not much.” She smiled and cuddled against Severus. Mabel merely lifted a haughty eyebrow and smirked.
“Not much, she says.” Severus’s voice was dry and amused. She could feel it rumbling under her head, where it rested against his chest. “She only gets twenty-three elves to come to Hogwarts and then takes them off to fight several thousand kobolds under a mountain.” The circle of wide eyes that met that sally was gratifying. Mabel’s face took on that just-eaten-a-lemon look, which was surprisingly enjoyable.
“You have been busy, Kathryn.” Michael Sr. joked. She shrugged from her position under Severus’ chin.
“They were bored and I had some spare time.” That brought laughter to the group and conversation turned to other things. Some time later, Minuet, Draco and Harry returned with the other kids and those adults who still acted like kids and began to flop onto the grass.
The house elves began carting out cups of cocoa and café au lait while Kathryn watched Hermione buttonhole one of them.
Nancy, in red wool skirt and crisp green cotton blouse, pointed Hermione over to where Prue, in her black bombazine dress and pristine white apron stood directing the other elves. Prue had large black eyes and a mobcap in the same crisply starched cotton as her apron. Her tiny black boot was tapping in impatience as one of the younger elves moved a trifle too slowly for her.
Kathryn chuckled at Hermione’s expression as she caught sight of the dauntless Prue. Like a miniature Minerva, Prue turned sharply on her heel to face Hermione as the girl approached her.
A brief conversation later and the diminutive martinet was nodding and smiling at the taller girl.
“I see that Miss Granger has found an audience.” Severus muttered.
“More likely the opposite, I think Hermione has met her match in the lecturing department. Prue has been running this house for eighty years without a mishap. She knows more about house elf history, their rights and the enslavement they suffer overseas than any other being on the planet.” Kathryn smiled against him.
“Poor England shall fall between their combined determination.” Severus groaned, watching as the two fell into a debate that seemed to include a lot of note taking and arm waving.
“Probably true.” Kathryn turned back to see Ron, Gabe and Harry involved in a complex discussion of Quidditch with Minuet, who was shaking her head in disagreement with something Ron was saying.
“I know you have absolutely no interest in Quidditch, but Slytherin is in the lead for the cup.” Severus sounded very smug and Kathryn congratulated him obediently.
“Gryffindor is in second place.” Harry tossed off over his shoulder at them, his sharp ears missing little.
“Is there a reason you have developed such acute hearing, Mr. Potter?” Severus was annoyed, she knew, as much for the implied threat to the Quidditch cup as for the lack of privacy.
“Sorry, sir.” He gave an apologetic smile to Kathryn. “I’ll try to stop eavesdropping.”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Potter, we will save the disgusting subjects for when you are off in bed.” Harry turned bright red at that, flushing to his ears, and resolutely turned his attention away from them. Severus’ chuckle was comforting and warm.
Kathryn was amazed that Severus was comfortable enough to be so openly affectionate to her in front of Harry, of all people.
“Have you decided that Harry isn’t evil incarnate?e whe whispered to him, nuzzling his ear lightly.
“I have decided not to strangle him as soon as he has dispatched the Dark Lord, if that’s what you are asking.” He replied somewhat stiffly.
Kathryn caught Minuet watching their byplay with a wistful expression. She smiled and patted the space next to her on the couch and Minuet hesitantly seated herself. Kathryn slipped an arm around the girl and dragged her into an embrace. Minuet smiled and relaxed against her. Severus ruffled the girl’s hair and let his hand rest on her shoulder, hidden by Kathryn’s hair.
It was almost a family, Kathryn mused. It would be nice to have one of her own some day. Aside from the child he was having with Bellatrix, she wondered if Severus wanted children. She hadn’t tht oft of it much herself; too much to do, too many distractions. She hadn’t thought that she wanted children, but as she tilted her head to look into Severus’ eyes, she realized that she wanted his. It was a surprise to her, but she could see a future with him that she had never even contemplated with anyone else.
Grand-mére’s gaze was resting on her and Kathryn looked up and met the knowing eyes with a small sigh of exasperation. It was so hard always being around omniscient people who knew what was up with you before you did.
Chapter 47 – Faking the Truth
“Let me get this straight, you want me to pretend to fall in love with Severus again, so that Voldemort can believe that its happening now even though it happened already?” Kathryn took a deep swallow of tea and gave Albus an amused look.
“That’s about right. Since Severus is going with the lot of you tonight to have Christmas Eve at Lieu D’Asile, there should be rumors starting anyway.” He responded with eyes bright and merry. “If it is too difficult an act, you can pretend he used a potion.”
“Albus!” Kathryn, Minerva and Severus all chorused together. He chuckled in response to their outrage.
Kathryn shrugged herself deeper into the comfortable wing chair in front of Albus’ fire. Since the elves had packed up and left yesterday, leaving a disconsolate Remus Lupin mourning his brief moments with Tali, she had been feeling restless and irritable. She had gotten no time with Severus since then, between her time under Poppy’s benign thumb and making the arrangements to get everyone to Louisiana for Christmas.
She needed to go home and see her family for the holidays. She needed to crawl into her bed at home, preferably with Severus, listening to the sounds of wind and water outside her window.
This new game was going to be both easy and hard. Easy because falling for Severus was as simple as breathing for her. Hard, because she had to look like she was at least a little resistant to the emotion.
Voldemort would never believe the truth that she had fallen easily, there had to be some wooing. Which could be fun, having Severus flirt and take her out would be nice, but having to look dubious when she would be melting inside would be less fun.
She blew her bangs out of her face with annoyance. It was time for a haircut. She was also turning the angles over in her head. The Arithmantical equations for Voldemort’s thinking processes had progressed till she had, at least, an idea that she knew where this was all leg tog to, but she still wasn’t positive about it. It was ambitious, which she expected, but if true, it was also stupid, which she didn’t expect.
“Is Moldy going crackers?” She asked Severus. He gave her that open smile of true amusement that so rarely graced his features.
“I have been asking myself that question for some time, if not quite with that wording.” He grabbed another scone and began to butter it liberally, clotted cream and strawberry jam following. “I think it is safe to say that there are some errors in his calculations.”
He took a bite of the scone, cream dribbling from it and she found herself fascinated by the delicate motions of his tongue as he lapped the cream form his finger. She needed to get the man to a bedroom and soon.
“Like thinking he can manipulate Grand-mére.” Kathryn snorted in disbelief.
“Too true, Marie is unlikely to let her guard down around him.” Albus nodded and Minerva looked thoughtful.
“But he must have some idea as to how he intends to use this love he has ordered Severus to cultivate.” Minerva sipped her tea and shifted in her chair, her bright eyes flicking between them all.
“He said nothing to me, but I was also in trouble for allowing Kathryn to summon the Elves.” Severus nibbled at thene wne with a thoughtful expression.
“I didn’t summon them! They volunteered and there was nothing I could do about it!” Kathryn retorted hotly. The kids’ tendency to give her credit for the Elves’ arrival was becoming annoying.
“Of course, Kathryn. I am certain that’s the case” Albus’ voice was sweetly indulgent and Kathryn ground her teeth in frustration. She knew he did that just to get her goat, but she still found it aggravating.
“I should make sure the students are finished packing.” Minerva said briskly rising with her usual energy and decision.
“I’ll come with you.” Kathryn said, happy to flee Albus in one of his teasing moods.
The two teachers escaped the tower office and both gave out identical sighs, looked at each other and then chuckled.
“Honestly, Kathryn, I love the man more than I can say, but there are days!” She shook her head in amused resignation.
“Are you certain that Severus isn’t his illegitimate son?” She retorted.
To her amazement that last comment cracked Minerva up. The older woman began to laugh so hard, she had to lean against a wall and hold her sides. Tears leaked from her eyes as she lost it completely.
“I didn’t think it was that funny.” Kathryn couldn’t help but smile, as Minerva’s laughter was infectious and lovely.
“Oh Kathryn, if you knew his parents, you would be laughing just as hard. Albus and Mrs. Snape can’t be in the same room together without wanting to hex each other and his father!” She dissolved back into giggles, which were surprisingly charming coming from her.
“They’re still alive?” Kathryn was surprised, as Severus always seemed to talk about them in the past tense.
“Oh aye, Kathryn.” Minerva straightened and wiped her eyes, still chuckling. “Still alive and still the most useless pair of idiots you have ever known.” Her voice rang with derision. “Severus takes after his grandfather, thank heaven, who was a brilliant man. His father only cares about bloodlines and Quidditch and his mother only cares about dress styles and gossip.” Minerva narrowed her eyes at some memory. “Offensive woman.”
“He doesn’t go home for the holidays then.” There was sorrow in her voice for she loved her huge unruly family. They were a trial sometimes, but their love was a secure harbor from which she could chart any course she chose.
“I don’t think he’s been home in more than twenty years.” Minerva wasn’t laughing now. “I can’t say as how I blame him either.” Minerva’s lips were pursed, her stride quick. Kathryn was forced to push her leg harder than she liked to keep up.
Four hours later Kathryn found herself standing at the Gates of Lieu D’Asile, clutching an old shoe. Harry, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Minuet and Severus stood behind her staring at the huge anti-bellum mansion with some surprise. It was a huge old house, with two stories and an attic that sprawled cheerfully across a huge plot of land.
It was also sandwiched between two other houses that were apparently next door to each other. The illusion was rather disconcerting, to say the least. A ghostly house between two solid ones one moment and then a solid house between two ghostly ones the next. Kathryn was used to it, but she could see Hermione’s eyes crossing slightly.
Severus’ eyebrow went up but Kathryn simply checked the street to make sure it was empty and then opened the wrought iron gate to the gravel walk. They trooped up the drive, the sound of the river growing louder as they approached the house.
“What’s that noise?” Minuet asked.
“The Mississippi. It flows right past the back yard. We’ll be lighting bonfires tonight to guide Pére Noel as he paddles up the river to bring gifts.” She smiled at the teen-agers’ dubious expressions and then braced for impact as the front door burst open.
She saw Severus doing the same, from the corner of her eye, as her family came falling out the door and rushing like the tide down the drive.
“Middle of eight, didn’t Gabe say that?” Harry murmured in awe as the flood of people showed no sign of abating.
“Yes but Great Grand-mére had fifteen children.” She tossed back to him as she opened her arms to her father who grabbed her and swung her around, as though it had been years he hadn’t seen her instead of just since October. Mingled among the people were dogs, cats and other familiars who added their own noise to the deafening clamor.
The new arrivals were herded towards the house while being hugged, talked at around and through, and relieved of their luggage by a dozen helping hands.
Harry and Ron were claimed instantly by Gabriel who dragged them off to the Quidditch pitch with a laughing group of the younger generation, Draco and Lillith following after more slowly. Minuet and Hermione were pounced on by a group of the girls and hauled away to parts unknown. They sent pleading looks to Severus as they were dragged off, but he merely waved them on with an airy gesture.
The adults drifted back into the house, strolling into a large foyer with a split staircase climbing the inner curve of it. The room was open to the roof, skylights let the warm southern sun drift down to the ground floor and elegant wooden balustrades decorated the upper floor.
They passed across the parquet flooring and into a light hallway that took them past several other doors, giving glimpses of the study, library and parlor and emerged onto the back lawn, a spectacular view of the river dominating the scene. White wicker chairs, tables and benches were scattered across the grass. Kathryn sighed in happiness, for this was home.
Even after her father got transferred to the Western Auror Command Post in San Francisco, the huge old house had been where they had come for holidays and family gatherings. It had housed the Laveau family for four generations and would continue to do so for a hundred more.
She settled onto a loveseat and Severus dropped down beside her, stretching his long legs out and enjoying the cool breezes off of the river. Huge live oaks grew around the yard, hung for Christmas with lanterns and fairy lights. The wood for the bonfire was neatly stacked next to the jetty and the house was lit from within as the exterior light began to fade into evening.
She curled into the circle of Severus’ arms and listened to her family as they caught each other up on their various activities. She was content to merely listen to the parade of marriages, jobs, children and vacations as they drifted over her.
“So what have you been up to, Kathryn?” It was her cousin, Mabel Lafitte. She was a dark haired woman, part Spanish and part French, and very proud of her good looks and social standing. She had lorded it over the less attractive Kathryn for most of her life, but Kathryn had given up caring around the time she received her second doctorate at fifteen.
“Not much.” She smiled and cuddled against Severus. Mabel merely lifted a haughty eyebrow and smirked.
“Not much, she says.” Severus’s voice was dry and amused. She could feel it rumbling under her head, where it rested against his chest. “She only gets twenty-three elves to come to Hogwarts and then takes them off to fight several thousand kobolds under a mountain.” The circle of wide eyes that met that sally was gratifying. Mabel’s face took on that just-eaten-a-lemon look, which was surprisingly enjoyable.
“You have been busy, Kathryn.” Michael Sr. joked. She shrugged from her position under Severus’ chin.
“They were bored and I had some spare time.” That brought laughter to the group and conversation turned to other things. Some time later, Minuet, Draco and Harry returned with the other kids and those adults who still acted like kids and began to flop onto the grass.
The house elves began carting out cups of cocoa and café au lait while Kathryn watched Hermione buttonhole one of them.
Nancy, in red wool skirt and crisp green cotton blouse, pointed Hermione over to where Prue, in her black bombazine dress and pristine white apron stood directing the other elves. Prue had large black eyes and a mobcap in the same crisply starched cotton as her apron. Her tiny black boot was tapping in impatience as one of the younger elves moved a trifle too slowly for her.
Kathryn chuckled at Hermione’s expression as she caught sight of the dauntless Prue. Like a miniature Minerva, Prue turned sharply on her heel to face Hermione as the girl approached her.
A brief conversation later and the diminutive martinet was nodding and smiling at the taller girl.
“I see that Miss Granger has found an audience.” Severus muttered.
“More likely the opposite, I think Hermione has met her match in the lecturing department. Prue has been running this house for eighty years without a mishap. She knows more about house elf history, their rights and the enslavement they suffer overseas than any other being on the planet.” Kathryn smiled against him.
“Poor England shall fall between their combined determination.” Severus groaned, watching as the two fell into a debate that seemed to include a lot of note taking and arm waving.
“Probably true.” Kathryn turned back to see Ron, Gabe and Harry involved in a complex discussion of Quidditch with Minuet, who was shaking her head in disagreement with something Ron was saying.
“I know you have absolutely no interest in Quidditch, but Slytherin is in the lead for the cup.” Severus sounded very smug and Kathryn congratulated him obediently.
“Gryffindor is in second place.” Harry tossed off over his shoulder at them, his sharp ears missing little.
“Is there a reason you have developed such acute hearing, Mr. Potter?” Severus was annoyed, she knew, as much for the implied threat to the Quidditch cup as for the lack of privacy.
“Sorry, sir.” He gave an apologetic smile to Kathryn. “I’ll try to stop eavesdropping.”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Potter, we will save the disgusting subjects for when you are off in bed.” Harry turned bright red at that, flushing to his ears, and resolutely turned his attention away from them. Severus’ chuckle was comforting and warm.
Kathryn was amazed that Severus was comfortable enough to be so openly affectionate to her in front of Harry, of all people.
“Have you decided that Harry isn’t evil incarnate?e whe whispered to him, nuzzling his ear lightly.
“I have decided not to strangle him as soon as he has dispatched the Dark Lord, if that’s what you are asking.” He replied somewhat stiffly.
Kathryn caught Minuet watching their byplay with a wistful expression. She smiled and patted the space next to her on the couch and Minuet hesitantly seated herself. Kathryn slipped an arm around the girl and dragged her into an embrace. Minuet smiled and relaxed against her. Severus ruffled the girl’s hair and let his hand rest on her shoulder, hidden by Kathryn’s hair.
It was almost a family, Kathryn mused. It would be nice to have one of her own some day. Aside from the child he was having with Bellatrix, she wondered if Severus wanted children. She hadn’t tht oft of it much herself; too much to do, too many distractions. She hadn’t thought that she wanted children, but as she tilted her head to look into Severus’ eyes, she realized that she wanted his. It was a surprise to her, but she could see a future with him that she had never even contemplated with anyone else.
Grand-mére’s gaze was resting on her and Kathryn looked up and met the knowing eyes with a small sigh of exasperation. It was so hard always being around omniscient people who knew what was up with you before you did.