Deserving (Final Chapter)

A/N My Beta has been very busy. Is there anyone who can Beta a couple of chapters until she is ready to get on board again?? Please let me know at tana97@aol.com. Thanks!!!


Chapter 45

We left off at…

Back home Harry took Severus’ cloak and hung it in the coat closet near the unused main entrance. When he came back to Severus he guided him to the sofa were he sat next to him. Harry took a deep breath:

“We have to talk,” Harry said. Then considering his words he rectified by saying: “I have to talk.” Harry took a deep breath signaling to Severus that this was not easy for his young husband. “Severus I did you so much harm…” his words were interrupted by Severus sudden move. Suspecting what Harry was going to say, Severus got up and began to walk towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?!” asked a confused Harry.

“The children will be up soon and the gifts have yet to be placed under the tree,” was Severus’ poor attempt at an excuse for leaving Harry’s side.

Harry whipped out his wand and the gifts appeared under the tree. Severus felt defeated immediately. Harry approached him with caution. “Now can you please come back and sit? What I have to tell you is important.”

Severus needed a way out so he began to walk to the kitchen.

“Now, where are you going?”

“I think it best if I get a head start on breakfast. With all the commotion that Christmas day brings…”

Harry approached him yet again and took him in his arms. Harry wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box but he knew that Severus was smart enough to know what Harry wanted to talk about.

“Are you really that scared of what I have to say that you are willing to risk a limb by going into Kreacher’s kitchen?” said Harry nuzzling against Severus’ ear. “I need to do this,” he whispered into his husband’s ear.

“I do not see the necessity…”

“I need to do this,” said Harry again as he guided the Potions Master to the seat again. He took Severus’ hands in his but Severus refused to meet his gaze. He wasn’t going to make this easy. Harry decided to plow through. “I am sorry,” he said pausing to wait for the reaction his words would produce but none was forthcoming. Severus stared into a blank spot opposite Harry.

“I am sorry for all the hurt and humiliation I caused you. I am sorry I used my power to rape and hurt you physically and emotionally. I am sorry that I denied you decent clothing and medical care. I am sorry I…”

“Please, stop, Please, Sir, stop,” he said finally turning to Harry. “Have you forgotten the mark I bare,” said Severus lifting his arm to Harry’s eye level.

Harry lifted his fringes away from his forehead. “I too bare his mark.”

“You cannot compare. Your mark brings you honor!” said an outraged Potions Master.

“Honor! Wasn’t it the same deranged wizard that marked us both? Honor? Is it an honor that I survived what my parents didn’t? War left its mark on both of us.”

“Your scare singled you out as an equal to the Dark Lord,” argued Severus.

“Your scare gave the light an in on all of his plans. Giving us a fighting chance.”

Severus could not believe that Harry was equating his vile mark to the mark of the Chosen One.

“No, no one deserves what I did to you. And you had stopped being a Death Eater long before I could crawl. The light owes our victory to you.”

“I killed Dumbledore,” roared Severus.

“On his command,” Harry spat back with the same fervor.

Severus’ head hung low. The last thing Harry had wanted to do was to yell at Severus. “The thing is I was so mad,” said Harry lowering his head as well.

“You had lost everyone you ever cared for. It is understandable that you felt owed retribution,” said Severus in Harry’s defense.

“Yes, so who do I take it out on? I take it out on the only person who has never failed me; the one person who has always, always taken care of me. Who has defended me with his own life.”

Severus looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“Do I have to mention all the times you kept me from harm? That you saved my life while I was at Hogwarts.”

“As a teacher it was my obligation to look after the welfare of all my students.”

“Do you forget that I saw your memories in the Pensieve? I know you were committed to my well being and yet it was you I chose to punish.”

“Sir, you did nothing I was not used to. Nothing I could not handle.”

Harry considered Severus’ words. “I was not the first to rape you?” he asked cautiously.

“There is more than one way to rape a person.”

Harry felt his heart contract in shame.

“Sir, it was your other actions that were quite daunting. That first time, the first time you draped your arms over me and slept all night in this … never before felt position. That was by far more difficult to deal with.”

“I hate sleeping alone. And you know how comforting your scent is,” said Harry feeling awkward.

“Yes, well, your kindness did not stop there. You could have kept me from my child but you began by allowing me to feed him until he no longer needed me.”

Harry did not even remember that. He could not imagine Severus and Richard separated from each other. What was he thinking?

“Well, I had to keep him alive and after seeing what happened to Gregory’s child. I was mean. I was mad but…”

“Yes, well, then you married me so I could always be with my child; even after his lactating stage was over.”

“You have to remember, I was keeping you from people that would have made your life so much easier.”

“I do not believe they would have succeeded. Life without my child would not have been worth living.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Then, not only did you marry me but you allowed me the luxury of lube to make the experience… less stressful at first and ultimately enjoyable.”

“I took an oath to protect you and take you into my family. I do not take my oaths lightly.”

More uncomfortable silence. Then Harry notice Severus’ lips curl in a wicked way.

“What are you smirking about?” asked a lost Harry.

“No one has ever made excuses in order to be kind to me,” he said averting his eyes for fear of seeming cheek.

Harry let his chin fall to his chest in defeat. “You don’t get it do you?” argued the Chosen One.

“NO, you do not get it. When in my wildest dream did I ever think I would wind up in this place and time? I wake up to hugs and kisses from Richard and a beautiful smile from Serena; who always seems to be happy to see me. I have a house elf who thinks I am a prince and treats me like one. My tea is always at the right temperature, my clothes is pressed to…”

But Harry had stopped listening and out of the blue he uttered: “I don’t do that.”

Severus had no idea what Harry was on about.

“Sir?”

“I don’t hug or kiss you in the morning.”

“You always kiss me before you leave to work,” corrected Severus.

“But that was a rule I put in place for the children. Proof is that you didn’t mention it. I don’t make you feel special.”

“Sir, you are taking my words out of content. I believe the point I am trying to make is that I cannot dwell on the past when I have such an encouraging present.”

Harry knew he had a long way to go before he could make it all up to Severus. A long way to go.

***

The Christmas Holidays was the best ones that the Potter family had ever had. Harry was a determined man. But Severus felt that his young spouse was trying too hard at something he had no need to do.

On January ninth Harry arrived with flowers that he handed over to Richard who in turn gave them to his Papa.

“Happy Birthday, Papa” said Richard with a wide grin and a big hug.

Harry grabbed Serena from Severus so that Severus could grab the flowers and hug from his son. But when Serena saw all the attention being placed on Richard she laughed and clapped. But still all eyes were on Richard.

“Papa!!” she yelled.
Harry and Snape froze in shock. How old was Richard when he first spoke? Was the question racing through Harry’s mind? While Severus could only fear Harry’s reaction at Serena calling Papa before Dada.

“Severus, didn’t you hear her?” asked a very excited Harry as he bounced his daughter up and down. “Who are you calling?” Celebrated Harry. “Are you calling Papa? Is that your gift for Papa?” Harry said as he paraded his giggling daughter around the living room bring peace to Severus’ mind.

“Papa!” yelled Serena again when she felt her Dada’s enthusiasm waning. Harry flew her over to Severus so daughter and father’s forehead met. “Here’s your Papa.”

Severus took her in his arms and sitting down found his laps full of love. On one lap Serena and on the other Richard who was in awe to hear his baby sister speak. Harry sat next to him and ruffling his son’s hair and shot Severus a great big grin.

Life was good.

***
That night when Harry entered their bedroom he found Severus in the window seat.

“Wow! This was the last day I would have expected to find you in the Pity Party Chair.”

Severus did not turn to face Harry but instead kept his eyes on the smallest and dimmest star in the sky. “You have been extremely gracious about this,” he said staring into the sky.

“No clue what you are on about.”

“You work so hard to give us every comfort afforded in life and she says my name first,” still staring into darkness.

Harry dropped his chin. He remembered when Richard began to speak. How there was no celebration when he finally called out to Papa.

“You said you had forgiven me but you still fear me.”

That made Severus turn. “No! I do not fear you. It is your right…”

“My right!? Who carried her for nine months in his body? Who went through unimaginable pain all alone in an unforgiving forest? Who feeds her with his own body? What are you on about? Are you even listening to yourself?” Stammered Harry.

Severus withdrew his gaze again. “I simply remember how happy you were when Richard called out to you. I felt … I felt that I was directly responsible for your happiness. It was the first time I thought I could get you to stop hating me. And it all did change after that moment.”

Harry approached Severus and placed his chin on Severus’ shoulder.

“Did it really change? Because the way I remember it there was no big to do when he called out to you,” said Harry swallowing the lump of guilt that had lodged itself in his throat.

“Yes, the change was gradual but ever present.”

Harry turned Severus to face him. He took a deep breath. “Are we really going to spend your birthday night in the Pity Party Chair?”

Severus straightened out. “Absolutely not! I will not take anything less than mind blowing sex tonight.”

Harry felt as if the wind had been knocked out of his lungs and all of the sudden he was roaring with laughter. Severus kept his wits as always.

“Cheek, Professor Snape, Cheek,” teased Harry when he heard a noise coming from the sitting room.

“Harry Potter, Sir, must come fast,” said Kreacher aparating, grabbing Harry’s hand and disaparating, leaving Severus lost and alone in the middle of his own bedroom.

Severus hurried down the steps to find his husband kneeling next to unanimated body. Who was it?

“Kreacher, get Poppy, NOW!”

“Severus, do you have any potions that we can give him?”

Severus approached his spouse and was able to see who was lying on the floor. It was Dennis Creevey.

“I would not know what to give him unless a scan has been performed.”

“Do it!” Harry barked out in desperation. But no sooner had the words left his mouth did he realize what he had asked of his husband. “I am sorry. It’s just that he isn’t responding…”

“There is no need for apologies. Madam Pomfrey will be here shortly.”

No sooner had he said the words Kreacher popped in with Poppy. She took one look at Dennis and tisked.

“It will be a miracle if he reaches his twentieth birthday,” she muttered kneeling down besides Izzy’s faint body.

“Well he wouldn’t be in this mess if you people would stop sending him on these dangerous missions,” protested Harry.


“Mr. Potter,” said a very offended Madam Pomfrey. “We do not send him out on mission. Mr. Creevey is committed to saving the Marked Ones and he will not be swayed.”

“Yeah, you might not send him off on missions but you applaud his accomplishment,” argued Harry.

“As we would do with anyone who helps…”

“If you two would please wait until we have aided Mr. Creevey to continue this argument; we might be able to save him,” interjected Severus.

Pomfrey and Harry gave each other a sheepish look and turned their attention to Izzy. Pomfrey took out her wand and scanned the Dennis’ body.

“Severus, I am going to need an energy and a wake me up potion. I am sure you have them in…”

But Severus was already on his way to get them. Soon Dennis was in the guest room and reacting to the potions.

“Are they alright? Did the elves get them to safety?” were his first muttered words.

“Yes, Mr. Creevey, they are at the compound. I will go check on father and children as soon as you are feeling well.”

“Poppy, I am fine, please go. They need you. They are one of the worse cases. They didn’t want to be rescued. They fought me all the way. You have to see the conditions in which I found them.”

“Mr. Creevey, you will be of no use to anyone if you do not care for yourself. I must insist…”

“Poppy!!! He has two little ones.”

“Dennis, stop right now. Poppy isn’t going anywhere until you are out of danger,” demanded Harry.

“Tell me what you want me to do and I will do it. What is it? Do you want me to take a potion? Submit to a scan? What?”

As Dennis was desperately trying to get Poppy to go and attend to the Marked One and his children, Neville walked into the room.

“How is he?”Asked Neville.

“How are they?” Dennis shot back.

“I won’t know until Poppy sees them. And Carl won’t allow anyone near the children,” answered Neville.

“Carl Petri?” asked Severus.

“Yes, he seems to be very upset that he was taken from his home,” explained Neville.

“Maybe he was happy there,” suggested Harry.

Dennis shook his head. “He has bruises and he is poorly dressed. I swear he is still wearing the green institutional robe that was issued to him when he was auction off to his Guide. You can count the ribs on his chest that is how skinny he is…”

Severus looked at Poppy and she gave him a painful look. They could both remember Carl being such a tall and attractive young man. He was a dedicated and respectful student. The kind that broke the predisposition that people had towards Slytherins.

“Who is his guide?” asked Severus.

“Mark Rogers from the Lake District,” answered Neville.

“The farmer?” asked Poppy. “But his wife and child were killed by the Dark Lord himself. He is sure to seek vengeance. Who would think such a man capable of taking care of a Mark One?”

“Mark Rogers was a good and kind man. I can’t believe he would turn into this monster that you are describing,” said Severus looking at Izzy.

“Wouldn’t you turn into a monster if someone killed your wife and child?” argued Izzy.

“I do not believe that a man with a soul as gentle as Mr. Roger’s is capable of inhumane acts. Yes, he will be upset…”

“Upset!!! Someone kills your wife and child and you are upset,” spat Izzy.

“There is no need to yell, Mr. Creevey,” said the Professor. “I am just trying to understand why a smart person like Mr. Petri would not welcome your efforts.”

“I can mention others that believe that just because they have a child with a person they should stay with that person,” said Neville from his side of the bed.

Harry knew those words were directed at Severus.

“I think we have done everything we can for Izzy. All he needs now is some rest. We best leave him alone,” announced Harry.

“He is not staying here,” protested Neville.

“What are you on about? Where else would he stay?”

“Harry, that is very disrespectful. How could you do that to the Professor?” argued Neville.

“What are you ON About? I have no clue,” said Harry raising his voice for a bit but promptly gaining control.

“No kidding! you don’t have a clue. Tell me something I don’t know. Dennis is your ex-boyfriend, and you are going to have him sleep under the same roof as the Professor?”

“Oh, I get it. That is offensive but the fact that you come into my house everyday while I am at work and my children are sleeping, well that of course is not offensive. And don’t even try to argue that you are doing it for the Marked Ones because to the best of my knowledge nothing can be done until the first moon of spring.”

Neville couldn’t believe Harry’s audacity. “We are still working to improve the lives of …”

“And I am sure of that. And I have never forbidden it because I trust my husband as I hope he trusts me.”

Harry walked over to Severus. “Do you have a problem with Dennis staying here until he feels better?”

“No, Sir, Mr. Creevey has and always will be welcome in our home,” said Severus shaking his head.

Harry turned to Poppy. “Is it safe to move him?”

Severus didn’t understand Harry’s question. “Sir, you misunderstood me. I have no problems with Mr…”

Harry lifted a hand to silence Severus. “I wouldn’t have expected any other answer from you. And I know you are sincere. But the fact is that I am sure Neville isn’t the only one that would see it in bad taste for my ex boyfriend to be here. He will stay until he can be moved. I will sleep at the Auror Station until then…”

Severus gave Neville a murderous glare. “I really do not see any need for you to abandon your home and family just because some peoples’ narrow views,” he spat as he turned on his heels and left the room.

“He’s mad at me; at me!” said Neville with hands up in the air.

Harry could not help but feel pleasure in the unexpected outcome of his actions.

***

Harry entered his bedroom to find Severus at the Pity Party Chair.

“Now where were we? Oh, yeah, something about mind blowing sex,” said Harry startling Severus.

“You are not leaving?” asked a stunned Severus.

“No need. Poppy said it was alright to move Izzy. And he is dying to see the Marked One and his children, so about that mind blowing sex.”

But Severus turned his head to look out the window. “You do know that our laws allow you a second Husband.”

“Why is it that I always feel as if I am walking into the middle of a conversation with you? What on earth are you on about?”

“A triad,” said Severus as if that would clear up all of Harry’s confusions.

“A triad… and it would consist of…?” prodded Harry.

“You need someone you can feel proud about. Someone you can take out in public. Maybe then you would be able to accept all those invitations you get to parties that are held in your honor,” said Severus still looking out the window.

Harry took a deep breath and went to sit by his husband. Harry looked around the window seat and said. “I guess we are having sex here. Never thought about having sex in the Pity Party Chair. Why do we call it a chair? It’s a window seat not a chair,” ranted Harry.

“Why are you avoiding the topic?”

“Avoiding the topic? No, I am not avoiding the topic. I am simply ignoring it. It’s preposterous anyway.”

“What is preposterous about having a beautiful young husband?”

“You know? All this time I really believed that you liked Izzy but now I see that you really don’t.”

“I take offense to your words. I have and always will think fondly of Mr. Creevey.”

“But yet you are proposing that I take him on as a trophy husband one that would only serve as a spouse that I can show off.”

“You are a young and strong man capable of fulfilling his every need.”

Harry bowed his head in defeat. “I tried that; remember? I tried taking him in my arms and all I could do was think about you. The only need I actually fulfilled was my own by getting you to pose as him so I could get into YOUR pants. Is that what you want for him?”

“You are a very possessive man. You had lost me. You have always considered me yours. It is only natural that you wanted me back. But what I am proposing is that you lose nothing and have the best of both worlds. I am sure that with the knowledge secure that I am not leaving you, you will be able to take Mr. Creevey in your arms and fulfill all his needs.”

“While trying to imagine that he is you in order to get aroused,” interjected Harry.

“Mr. Creevey is a very handsome man.”

“And we are going around in circles. Izzy is as beautiful as he was almost a year ago when I had him in the guest room and could not bring myself to get aroused in his presence.”

“So you are telling me you and Mr. Creevey never…”

“Never,” said Harry not allowing Severus to finish the phrase. “Look, it is true I never take you out but believe me I do it because I don’t want to see you hurt. People can be very hurtful and as for me I can live without all the public functions that they want me to appear at. Even before you came along I was turning them down. I have everything I have always wanted. And I have it because of you.”


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