Love, Lies & Loneliness

Chapter 46
(No regrets)

“Good morning Potter.” Harry opened his eyes and watched as Snape breezed into the room, opening the curtains with an insistent tug before collecting various items of dirty clothes strew about the room and banishing them to the laundry with a flick of his wand. Stretching in the warm morning sun now streaming in through the open window Harry yawned and slowly pushed himself up into a seated position. Snape bustled over to the wardrobe and with a quick flick of his wand had a clean t-shirt and jeans laid out over the back of the seat in front of the fire, along with a clean pair of jocks and socks. Harry smiled secretly to himself as Snape came over to the edge of the bed and removed a vial of potion from inside his pocket, mixing the concoction with the glass of water on Harry’s bedside table. Offering Harry the mixture the boy tentatively took the glass with his uninjured left hand and downed it quickly. Harry had become used to the foul tasting potion, the last two weeks having flown by, and Snape’s morning ritual was one Harry just adored. With the glass empty Snape smiled and leaned over kissing Harry softly on the lips and chasing away the foul taste in the youngsters mouth with his own unique flavour. Harry liked that morning ritual the best and would happily drink all the potions in the world if only to have Snape kiss him like that every morning.

Satisfied that Harry had taken his pain potion, Snape then threw back the covers of the bed and helped Harry stand, before helping him into the bathroom. Since the incident in the backyard Harry hadn’t dared look at himself in the mirrors and so he’d had Snape remove all of them in the house just so he couldn’t catch a sight of himself. With his morning toiletries finished in relative silence, Snape helped his young charge back into the bedroom and having re tied the sling about Harry’s arm then allowed the boy to use his own wand to dress himself, while Snape made the bed and cleaned the room with his own charms and incantations.

“I thought you might like to take your lessons outside today. It’s warm out and you need some fresh air.” Harry nodded as he slipped his wand awkwardly into his jeans pocket. Doing things with his left hand was difficult, but doing spells was even worse. It had taken him at least a week of Snape teaching him to get the hang of left-handed wand movements.

“Cool, did Hermione send me homework?” Harry followed Snape downstairs careful to stay on the right sight of the elder man should he stumbled on the stairs. It had taken him two long weeks to regain his motor function and every now and then his muscles would spasm and send him sprawling to the floor like a helpless child. He’d re-injured his arm twice already with silly accidents and Harry desperately was trying to get better, so he could return to school. The school term and Harry’s last year at Hogwarts had started last week and so as not to fall behind in his Newts was having teachers, and students owl him work. It helped too that Snape was with him, Dumbledore having refused Snape leave to return to work until Harry was well enough to return as well.

“Yes and I’ve got a few revision tests for you from last year, I had Draco go through my desk draws in my office to find them. You’ll need to combine all your schooling if you’re going to pass Newts well.” Harry nodded and grasped hold of Snape’s arm tightly as he stumbled on the rug at the bottom of the steps. Snape immediately grabbed Harry around the waist stabling the boy before continuing to walk down the hall.

“Good morning Mrs Weasley!” As they passed the kitchen door Harry paused and ducked his head inside, smiling at the red haired woman he knew would be there. Mrs Weasley had been a saint for the past two weeks, splitting her time between looking after her own family and looking after Severus and Harry.

“Good morning Harry. I’ll send breakfast out for both of you before I go.” Harry nodded understandingly and continued to walk down the hall and out of the back door with Severus. Severus had been right. It was a beautiful day outside and Harry basked in the warmth of the sunlight as he was led over to a soft grassy patch of lawn between a large elm tree and the vegetable patch. Sitting down on the soft grass Harry settled back as Snape charmed a pencil in his pocket into a small writing desk, complete with quill and ink well for Harry to use. With another flick of his wand Snape had the relevant papers and books for Harry’s lessons in front of him and he passed them all to the boy who groaned at the length of the homework. The teachers it seemed had stepped up their homework in hopes of having all their students pass their Newts with good marks.

“Now, now get it all done before lunch and I’ll read to you.” Harry smiled and nodded at Snape who had summoned a book of his own, which now lay open on his lap. Snape supervised Harry’s lessons and homework, there merely for moral support than anything else. Snape had read to him during those weeks he’d been unable to move in bed, and it had been his lovers’ voice that had soothed his turmoil when Harry had become so depressed nothing seemed to matter. Admittedly Harry knew Snape would most likely read him his potions textbook, but it was worth the dullness just to hear Snape continually talking with his silky voice.

Mrs Weasley brought out breakfast just as Harry had finished his ‘Transfiguration’ homework. The bacon and scrambled eggs smelled delicious and Harry instantly tucked into his food as Mrs Weasley relayed a few things to Snape before apperateing away to tend her own brood at the burrow. Eating one handed was difficult but Harry wasn’t one to ask for help and so merely discarded his fork in favour of eating his bacon with his fingers.

“That’s very unhygienic Harry.” Snape mused as he himself ate his own breakfast, with much more civility. Harry shrugged his shoulders wincing a little at the movement of his right arm. Severus had spent a lot of time explaining things to Harry over the past two weeks. The man having taken almost two days telling Harry everything he wanted to know about ‘possession’. Dumbledore too had taken his time explaining to Harry what had happened the night Severus and Sirius had fought. It was all a little too unbelievable and Harry had yet to full comprehend everything, but he was getting there and that was what mattered.

“Severus, it’s strange isn’t it?” Shovelling a little more scrambled egg into his mouth Harry washed the mouthful down with some pumpkin juice before glancing across at his elder who lazily sipped from a cup of tea.

“What’s strange?” Snape inquired as he sipped again from his tea.

“This. You and me. Everything, it’s all so strange.” Severus furrowed his brow in confusion but said nothing as Harry sighed and finished his last mouthful of egg before continuing. “I mean I never would have dreamed ever that you would have even called me Harry, let alone how domesticated we’ve become. And when I always saw this in my dreams you were the one who looked after me, not the other way around.” Harry sighed again and Severus reached out his hand and brushed a stray hair from Harry’s forehead, making the boy smile and lean into the touch.

“Yes, things are strange. I admit this hadn’t been part of my grand plan for my life.” Severus replied staring idly over the rim of his teacup out into the garden, as he thought silently to himself. Harry watched Snape thinking, the boy inwardly smiling to himself at the handsome face of his lover.

“Do you regret us?” Harry queried softly his hand straying to Severus’ that lay atop his knee. Snape looked down as he felt Harry entwining his fingers with his own atop his knee and smiled softy as he shook his head in reply.

“No.” Snape paused running his thumb over Harry’s palm before bringing their entwined fingers up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to Harry’s hand. “Not at all. I regret that Lily and James never get to see what a wonderful man you’ve grown into Harry, and I regret ever giving my life to Lord Voldemort, but I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us.” Snape closed his eyes a soft warm breeze ghosted across his face, swirling the dark strands of hair around his face as he tilted it towards the sun. Harry smiled and shifted closer to Snape his head come to rest on Snape’s shoulder.

“Do you think Sirius will ever accept us?” Harry inquired as he leaned into Snape’s side taking comfort from the man he loved. Snape huffed a little laugh and shrugged his shoulders uncaringly.

“Who knows Harry. I’d like to think he would, people change after all, but I know it won’t matter if he doesn’t.” Harry nodded and Snape smiled as he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s forehead.

“I can’t wait to get back to school.” Harry muttered as Snape pushed him away gently and gestured to his homework as Snape collected their now empty breakfast plates.

“I can. Merlin only knows what chaos my classes are going to be in when I return, I can’t believe Dumbledore’s got McGonagall teaching Potions, honestly.” Snape shook his head in disgust and Harry smiled at his elder, as he turned back to his homework for the day.

“Well you won’t have to wait long, Sirius and Lupin are due back next week and Dumbledore said it’s best if we’re out of the place when they get back.” Snape flicked his wand at the dirty dishes and they disappeared with a pop. Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry in concern.

“Don’t count on it Potter, you’re not going anywhere until that arms healed itself, even if I have to fend of that bloody godmut with my bare hands.” Harry looked up sharply from his homework and glared pointedly at Severus who put up his hands in apology. “Sorry, I’ll watch my mouth I promise. Now I’m going to go wash up you get on with your homework.” With a smile Snape rose from the grass and with another sweet kiss to Harry’s lips Snape walked back down the garden and disappeared inside leaving Harry alone in the sun with his schoolwork.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>