Scarred Souls

*****************************************************



Title: Scarred Souls



Author: Misty Moonlight/Co-author: QueenBoadicea



Beta: QueenBoadicea



Pairings: Severus/Harry



Published: 12/10/2008



Summary: A widowed Harry must bond with Snape in order to save his daughter’s life. Sev gains a family, for better or worse, and the hearts of two scarred souls will be changed forever.



Warnings: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Reality/Universe, Sexual Situations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Anal, Language, Humor, possible MPreg, Bonding, Original Characters, Family, non-canon, OOC, WIP



*****************************************************



Chapter 45: Double Happiness





Arthur and Molly hurried up to Harry, George and Ron as they sat in the St. Mungo’s waiting room. “We came as soon as we heard,” Arthur panted.



“Well? What’s happened? Any news yet?” Molly asked, her eyes darting towards the silent door of the birthing room.



They all shook their heads. Ron looked frazzled, Harry rather grim, George like he was about to pass out. “We don’t know,” Harry murmured. “We haven’t been here that long.”



“Dunno. Feels like ages to me,” Ron muttered.



Arthur patted his boy on the shoulder. “You’ve been through this before. Waiting’s the hardest part. But it usually turns out well.”



Both Weasley sons and Harry exchanged anxious looks. Nobody wanted to remember what had happened the last time there’d been a birth among them.



Harry sat hunched over, his hands clenched between his knees. His thoughts were careening all over the place like a poorly made broomstick. How he wished he was with Severus right now, holding his hands, hearing his voice comment sarcastically on what was happening.



Only Severus wasn’t so sarcastic these days. He’d never lose that acerbic bite of his but he didn’t turn it on Harry and his family so much.



And now there was about to be another addition to the extended family. Harry wanted to smile but his stomach was flopping about with anxiety. Too much more of this and he was going to vomit or start screaming.



Why were they being made to sit out here? In the Muggle world, Hermione told him that fathers were allowed to be with their wives when they were giving birth. The Wizarding realm definitely had some catching up to do.



The door swung open and they all turned towards it as one, like hunter dogs scenting the prey. “Well?” Molly cried. No one else seemed to have the strength or courage to speak.



The medi-witch beamed, an oasis of calm in the midst of all their tension. “Where’s the father?”



“Here!”



She smiled at the man rushing up to her. “Congratulations, sir. You have twins—a boy and a girl. Would you like to come and see them now? The rest of you may come as well. But you must be out of the room in 15 minutes. They all need their rest.”



The new father nodded, too excited to say anything, and they all trailed into the quiet room. Singing flowers on the bedside, balloons with animated messages bobbing in the corner and bundles of fruit enlivened the room. But no one really noticed. They only had eyes for the exhausted figure lying in the small bed.



Alicia Spinnet-Weasley sat upright against the large pillows, proudly cradling her newborns. The babies looked incredibly tiny in her arms, both sporting bright flaming hair and identical sleepy expressions, making it impossible to tell which was the boy or the girl.



George sat down on the bedside and kissed his wife on her forehead. “How are you feeling, pet?”



“Like I just pushed two great big hairy Beaters through a wedding ring, that’s what,” she snapped, although she smiled as she said it.



Arthur gestured at the wrapped bundles, proudly noting the trademark red hair. “Look at them, Molly. Another set of redheaded twins.”



Alicia rolled her eyes. “I know. If they’re anything like George and Fred used to be, we’re going to have our hands full.”



Molly rushed to the other side of her daughter-in-law to get a closer look at her new grandchildren. “Oh, Alicia, they’re beautiful,” she sighed. “Absolutely perfect.”



“They should be. They’ve been baking long enough.” Everyone in the room laughed, breaking the tension. It was very clear why George had married this girl. Her sense of humor was a match for his own. With her, George need never mourn his lost twin brother.



They all talked, about what Harry was never quite sure afterwards. He couldn’t take his eyes off the babies. He knew their hair color would likely change, darkening to the true Weasley red, as they got older. But to witness them as they were now, with hair like fire, was truly wonderful. He only wished Severus was here to see them.



As if on cue, the door swung open and the tall, darkly clad man paused in the doorway. Everyone turned to look at the figure of the Potions master.



Harry smiled at seeing his husband. “Severus? I tried to reach you. But your note said you were in Diagon Alley.”



“I was; there were purchases I needed to make. Then, by chance, I walked by the joke shop and found it had been closed for business. There were people lingering in the street and I overheard one of them mention that George had shouted something about his wife going into labor, demanded everyone leave the premises and had closed the shop. After that, I came here as quickly as I could.”



He strode stiffly to the bed, self conscious as always of his increased weight hidden under his robes, and stared at the new mother and her children, his expression unreadable. Alicia glanced up at him uncertainly. Even after all these months, her relationship with her former Potions professor remained tentative, at best.



George broke the strained silence. “Would you like to hold ‘em, Severus? If that’s all right with you, love,” he added.



She swallowed before nodding slowly. “Sure. I’ve been carrying them for almost nine months. Let someone else get the chance.”



“Oh no, I couldn’t—” But before Severus knew it, he was holding an armful of newborn babies.



He stood stiffly, practically petrified, a wrinkly infant in the crook of both arms. The Slytherin looked mortally afraid of dropping them and Harry had to choke back his laughter at his husband’s obvious discomfort.



Severus swallowed and stared down at the crumpled, flushed faces. “I see the Weasley red color is running true to form,” he ventured.



“Are you talking about their hair or their faces? You don’t have to lie. I know they look like wrinkled plums,” George said matter of factly. Alicia punched him on the arm. “Ow! Blimey, woman, that hurt!” he yelped.



Alicia glared at him. “Serves you right, George Thomas Weasley! Those are your children you’re talking about and I’ve just spent the last three hours bringing them into the world. So you show some respect!”



“What’re you gonna call them, Alicia?” Ron asked.



Harry realized that question had been on his mind too as he turned towards the woman in the bed. “The boy’s going to be Fred Arthur Weasley.” Arthur smiled foolishly while Molly sniffled. “The girl’s going to be Harriet Molly Weasley.”



Harriet? When all eyes turned to him, Harry flushed. This was something he hadn’t expected. He could tell that Severus was surprised, too, though his face remained immobile and he said nothing.



“Harriet? T-that’s really nice, Alicia. Thanks,” Harry said shyly.



“It was my grandmother’s name,” she replied.



“Oh.”



George let out a guffaw at Harry’s disappointment. Alicia smacked him again. “Merlin, Alicia! Save your strength. You just came out of labor, you know!” he groused, rubbing his arm.



The medi-witch came back in. “That’s it, people. The 15 minutes are up.” Her glance took in Harry and she blushed a little. “It’s good seeing you again, Mr. Potter.”



“Um, thanks. Let’s go, Severus.” Severus handed the babies to the medi-witch who then deposited them in their cradle. No one missed the expression of profound relief that swept over his face as he rid himself of his burdens.



********************************************************************



After they came home, Severus was unusually silent. He was never what anyone would call chatty, even at the best of times. But now his mind was obviously elsewhere. When he was asked a question, he responded absentmindedly or not at all, needing the question to be repeated a few times before he heard.



James and Albus had lots of questions to ask about the new babies, including when they could go see them. Severus remained mute on the subject; it was like the birth had brought home to him exactly what he’d be undergoing in about half a year’s time.



After dinner, the twins played a game of Exploding Snap, keeping a careful eye on their curious sister, who giggled and laughed every time a card exploded. Harry pulled Severus across the room. “Severus?” he whispered in a low voice. “What’s wrong? You’ve been so quiet.”



“I’m usually quiet, Harry. You just have a hard time noticing, giving the noisiness of your offspring.”



“This is a different kind of quiet, Severus.” Without words, Harry cast Muffliato. He sensed it would be best to keep this conversation private. He nestled closer to where Severus sat on the couch. “You’ve been distant ever since we came back from St. Mungo’s. What’s on your mind?”



The pallid face shut down. Harry felt he understood Severus better by now. His bond mate wasn’t repressing emotion so much as trying to come to grips with it. Something was bothering Severus, something so profound he wasn’t quite sure how to put it into words.



Harry rubbed the Slytherin’s stomach. He couldn’t seem to stop doing it and he knew Severus loved the attention, no matter how much he tried to deny it. His bond mate didn’t acknowledge the gesture, only wrapped one long arm around Harry’s shoulders.



When Severus finally spoke, Harry was unsurprised by the topic. “Was the delivery…long?”



“You heard Alicia. About three hours.” He ran his hands in slow circles over Severus’s bump. “It’s different for everyone, Severus. There’s no predicting how long it will take with—anybody.”



“There are potions that can help speed childbirth with no harm to mother or fetus.” When Harry looked at him inquiringly, Severus admitted, “I have been reading up on the matter.”



Harry gave him a long stare. “Only reading?”



Severus sighed. “Very well. I admit I’ve also been working on modifying such potions to be used on wizards.”



“Aren’t there any already in use?” Harry asked. He had wanted to discuss the details of pregnancy with Severus before now. But the man had steadfastly refused to go over the subject with Harry in the past. It was like the whole business would be easier for him to deal with if they didn’t dwell on it.



“No. The phenomenon of wizards giving birth is so low that no one ever bothered to create one in the past.”



“Then…this potion you’re working on is experimental, isn’t it?” Harry said slowly.



“Rest assured, Harry. By the time I am ready for my ‘big day’, all the variables will have been accounted for and the potion will be safe for use.”



Harry raised his head to peer into Severus’s eyes. He had to remain calm so this didn’t degenerate into a shouting match that would send his husband away in a cold fury. “Severus, you’ve been dosing yourself for years with those anti-seizure and pain-killing potions.”



“I am no longer on them. I have not been taking them for some weeks now.”



“I know. But there’s no telling what kind of long-term damage they did to your body. I don’t want you risking your health by taking another potion just when you’re giving birth. Who knows what it will do to you?”



Grim finality and a spark of tension flared in the dark eyes. “Harry, in the end, it is my body. Surely the choice must be mine to make.”



Harry swallowed and tucked his head into his husband’s neck. “I just—I don’t want to risk losing another spouse in childbirth, all right?” he whispered fiercely. To his horror, a burning sensation crept behind his eyes and he squeezed them shut. He wasn’t going to cry. That would be too humiliating and Severus was right. This was, ultimately, his burden to bear and Harry had no right to get weepy about it.



The lean body stirred against his; he thought he felt the brief sensation of lips across his hair. “Harry, I’m not going to die. Don’t be so maudlin.”



The carping tone, so familiar, banished his misery. Harry blinked and surreptitiously rubbed at his eyes. Suddenly, Severus stiffened and sucked in a sharp breath between his teeth.



“Severus? What is it?” Harry glanced quickly to the children. Had Severus caught them watching? No, they were still engrossed in their game. So what—?



Severus clasped his hand and brought it back down to his belly. “Feel.”



Harry’s eyes widened. “Ooh. It’s kicking,” he whispered.



Severus’s expression was a combination of shock and awe. “It most certainly is. Oof! Merlin, is that normal?” he asked tightly.



“Yes. No. I mean, it’s different…”



“For every person. Yes, I’m beginning to see that,” Severus said. There was the thin edge of a sneer but it was wholly drowned out by the wonder that was changing his features with every new movement from their unborn child. It was like Severus was losing years, the young man he’d once been pushing himself forward. In spite of his scars, Severus looked radiant. Dare Harry say…happy?



Harry snuggled under his arm again, keeping his hand firmly on the swollen abdomen. “So we settled on Sheridan or Theora, didn’t we?”



“Yes, we did. What should we pick for middle names?”



“Got any family names you want to pick?”



Severus’s face went still again. “Not especially. My family wasn’t the nurturing type.”



“Oh. Well, I’m all out of names on my side.”



“Hmm. How about Leontyne for a girl and Barris for a boy?”



“Leontyne meaning ‘lionlike’, right?”



Severus smiled. “Very astute.”



“I like it.” Harry waited but Severus didn’t continue. “And Barris? I don’t know that one.”



“It means ‘son of Harry.’”



Harry swallowed. He didn’t know what to say. Somehow “thank you” seemed very inadequate. Fortunately, Severus didn’t seem to require an answer.



“Finite Incantatem,” Harry muttered.



Severus peered at him, obviously wondering what he intended. “Harry?”



He called to the playing twins. “Albus, James. Come and feel your papa’s belly.”



The boys looked up. Then they scrambled to their feet and rushed to Severus like he was holding candy.



“Is the baby kicking?” James demanded as he laid his hand on Severus’ stomach.



“It is! I can feel it!” Albus squealed.



Miffed at being ignored, Lily got to her feet and toddled over to them. “Jum, Alp! Cad gab! Pay cad gab!” she said with pouting determination.



“Come, Lily, feel this!” Al cried.



James scoffed. “Don’t be silly, Al. She won’t know what this is. She’s too little.”



But, whatever game her older brothers were playing, Lily wanted to be part of it. She tugged at Harry’s trousers until he picked her up. Then six small hands were placed on Severus’s belly as each tried to feel the baby kick. Lily laughed and cried unintelligible words every time she felt her unborn sibling stirring under her tiny hands. The boys were no less ecstatic.



Whatever the next few months brought, Harry hoped that Severus saw he would not be alone. He had the entire Potter family behind him. Harry would keep his last promise to Ginny and make sure he protected his family, including the child yet unborn. He would keep his Vow to Severus and love this child—and its “mother”—no matter what.



Nestling against Severus again, he kissed him lightly on the cheek as their children crowded close, filling the air with their happy, silly babble.





TBC