Upside Down

YAY PLOT BUNNY!!!

smurhpy - yay smut!!!

That1OverThere - Um...yes, actually...she did. So I went back and changed a few words. He likes bj's now, by the way. I really need to start reading my previous chapters before I post stuff like that....ah well! It was still nice smut!!

distinctlyME - yay smut!!! Yay husband smut!! I wouldn't know anything about that, of course, but I imagine it's nice. God I'm lonely *sob*... Enough about my woes! Yes, it is nice to have faithful reviewers. I love when newbies come into the equation, but it's good to read about someone who has followed this from the beginning. Someone who has enjoyed the highs and lows of the story, and has read the crap you posted before you went back and changed it to not-crap. T_T Enough rambles...new chappy!

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One Month Later

Hermione stretched out on the bed, noting immediately that Draco was not with her. Since her move to Malfoy Manor, she had taken to sleeping in the bed with him, as his warmth brought her comfort. At first Narcissa and Lucius had objected to it, but after much assuring that they would ‘act properly’ until the wedding, they were allowed to keep their sleeping arrangements.

The past month had been what Ruby called ‘Bloody fucking crazy.’ Hermione agreed totally, although she had to gently tell Ruby that Americans should never say 'bloody,' as they tended to sound silly.

The first order of business was to get their ex-Death Eaters pardoned of their crimes. It was easier said than done. The Malfoys were easy enough to help, their money and political power helped win them all (Narcissa had even been charged with ‘cooperating with Voldemort’) win their freedom. The Lestranges didn’t have that leverage, and their trial took several days to sort out. One of the hardest things for the Ministry to process was that they couldn’t prove most of the murders Bellatrix had committed. The only crime they could solidly pin on both her and Rodolphus was the attack and torture of the Longbottoms. But a character testimony by none other than Neville himself finally swayed the jury to give the questionable couple a second chance.

Rodolphus and Bella had promptly moved out of Grimmauld Place, and went back to the Lestrange ancestral home. It wasn’t quite as impressive as Malfoy Manor, and needed a serious makeover, but it was their home, and they were glad to be there.

Hermione and Ruby had, of course, moved to the Manor, and Ruby was enjoying every minute of it. She especially enjoyed the Malfoy stables. Lucius told her that she rode as fluidly as a centaur galloped. She was putty for hours. She also enjoyed disappearing to the Burrow for lunch with Ron, but Hermione made no objections to it. If she was happy, Hermione was happy.

Hermione rolled off of the obscenely large bed, and grabbed a house robe to wrap up in, smirking when she spotted her bra draped over a light sconce. Draco had been quite wild last night…

As she started down the ornately carved wooden stairs, she could hear a soft sound. It sounded a bit like…crying. Thinking Ruby had been plagued with a nightmare, Hermione quickened her pace to where the crying was originating: the breakfast room. When she threw open the door, she was not expecting to see Narcissa with her face buried in her hands, sobbing miserably. Both Lucius and Draco looked furious.

“What’s going on?” Hermione asked, going over to Draco. He pointed silently at the Daily Prophet. Hermione looked down, and cocked her head as she read the main title of the Society page.

Has the Queen Lost Her Crown?

Narcissa Malfoy has always prided herself in looking good. And she has always done an excellent job of it. Which is why Society would like to know what has crawled under her blouse to live? The ‘Queen of Society’ was seen yesterday, walking with her husband through Diagon Alley. Lucius Malfoy, dressed as sharply as ever, seemed not to notice his wife, giving the impression he was not pleased with her sudden weight gain. The wealthy couple has been through a lot lately, what with the trails they themselves have had to go through, and helping get the infamous Lestranges off of the chopping block. It seems that the emotional strain has gone right to her hips. We can only hope that Mrs. Malfoy will reclaim her beautiful body soon, or there will be no one to lead the fashion corner in this brave new world.

Hermione stared at the paper, before sneering when she read Rita Skeeter’s name at the bottom of the article.

“That damned bug woman has nothing better to do?” she asked. She could see why Narcissa was upset. Rita was throwing off her pregnancy as a simple weight gain. And if she was correct, pregnant women often felt physically vulnerable anyway.

Draco picked up the paper, and looked at the picture of his parents in Diagon Alley.

“Seemed not to notice his wife…What the bloody hell did she want us to do? Shag in the street?” Lucius seethed, moving to stroke Narcissa’s head.

“Knowing her, it would have made her happy…” Hermione said nastily. Draco looked at his crying mother, and then at the paper still in his hands.

“Father…I want you to come with me.” He said, putting the paper down. Lucius looked at him.

“Whatever for?” he asked. Draco’s silver eyes flashed dangerously.

“I need a witness…”

~~

Rita Skeeter sat at her desk, looking at her newest article. It had given her great pleasure to knock the Ice Princess off of her throne. Narcissa Malfoy was a cold Society bitch, and any thorn she could shove in the pompous bint’s side made her all too happy.

She wasn’t, however, too very happy to see Draco and Lucius Malfoy storming right up to her desk, both looking murderous. She swallowed hard.

“Good morning, Misters Malfoy…” she said, looking between the two blonde men. Draco pointed to her pinned up article.

“What is that?” he asked, his voice deadly calm.

“That would appear to be a society article.” She said. Draco’s eyes flashed.

“Why did you deem in necessary to write that article on my mother?”

“Well…she is the Queen of Society….it’s her own fault to parade herself around in such a state….I mean, really! Has she done nothing for the past month but eat sweets?” Rita asked with a nervous laugh. Draco’s pale face colored. He opened his mouth to retort, but his father put his hand on his shoulder, silencing him. Lucius himself stepped forward, looking very much like Lucifer himself….beautiful, but dangerous.

“You have not done your research, Miss Skeeter.” He said, emphasizing ‘Miss,’ much to Rita’s ire. “Sweets, although they have a very dear spot in my wife’s heart, were not the cause of her current….condition…” Lucius added. “I was.”

Rita was confused. What exactly was he trying to say?

“My wife is pregnant, Miss Skeeter. That increase in her belly is our child growing within. I’m sure even you are familiar with the physics of pregnancy?” he asked, his voice taking on a very condescending tone. The look on Rita’s face was priceless.

“Pregnant? But….I thought….” She looked at Draco. “I though you couldn't have any more?” she asked, her eyes darting back to the senior Malfoy.

“We thought the very same. But life has a way of surprising people. My advice to you, Miss Skeeter, is to print a retraction of that article. And then print an apology to my wife.”

“But the Prophet hasn’t printed a retraction on years! It’ll ruin business!” she argued. Lucius’ own face colored slightly.

“If you do not print the retraction, I will be back, and I will speak to your editor. I will make sure that not even the lowest tabloid will hire you. My….displeasure…..will affect you greatly.” He said. Then, both Malfoys turned on their heels and left Rita sitting in her chair, her mouth open comically.

“Bloody hell….I’m going to be fucked with a hot poker when I tell Juthers I have to print a retraction…..”

~~

Harry sat in the den at Grimmauld Place, a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. He was contemplating going to the new Magical Community College that had opened the previous year, and getting a degree in….something.

That part he couldn’t quite figure out. He didn’t really want to be an Auror…he’d had enough fighting to last three bloody lifetimes…

Snape sat across from him, a cup of black coffee in his hands. He’d eased into an odd acquaintance with Snape. Although Sirius was like his father figure, Snape had become the strange older friend that many people have. And although he wasn’t as smart as Snape, he still found himself in all sorts of debates with him.

Snape regarded the young man.

“You know, Potter. When most people invite someone over for breakfast, they don’t ignore them to read a book…” he said. Harry looked up at him.

“Oh! Sorry, Professor.” He said softly. Snape’s eyebrow twitched. He hated it when Potter called him that! He wasn’t the boy’s bloody teacher anymore…thank the gods…

“I was wondering if you would-”

He was interrupted by Sirius coming into the room.

“Harry…there’s some lady at the front door wanting to see you. Said it’s important.” He said, looking a bit puzzled. He shot Snape a nasty face when Harry passed him. Harry might have made peace with the greasy bastard, but he sure as hell hadn’t!

“Your immaturity never ceases to amaze me, Black.”

~~

Harry went to the front door, his curiosity piqued. Sirius apparently didn’t know this person, or he would have mentioned her name. They didn’t get many visitors to Grimmauld, because it was warded tighter than a clam’s shell. If she was here, someone from the Order must have sent her.

He stepped to the door, and his eyes widened at the sight before him. The woman was very beautiful. She was in her late twenties, maybe, with satiny black hair and piercing blue eyes. His eyes started to roam….he was a man afterall….She had nicely shaped breasts and….whoah! She was pregnant….very very pregnant.

“Um…are you Harry Potter?”

She had a soft American accent, not as pronounced as Ruby’s, but easily identifiable.

“Yes ma’am.” He said. She smiled.

“I was told that you could help me locate Severus Snape…” she said. Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Who told you that?” he asked.

“Um….Albus Dumbledore.” She said, sounding a bit unsure. Harry rolled his eyes. He’d kill Dumbledore. Giving out the address for Grimmauld Place….

Snape would have been at school, but today was Saturday, and he had taken to joining Harry for breakfast on Saturdays.

“You’re in luck. He’s visiting with me now.” Harry said. She smiled, revealing straight white teeth.

“Might I be able to see him?” she asked. Harry stepped aside to allow her into the house, and then closed the door behind her. Then, he led her towards the room he and Snape had been sitting in. Snape was still sipping his coffee, though now he was glaring at Sirius, who was perched on a chair, just staring at Snape and looking smug.

“Um…Professor…she’s here to see you.”

Snape looked up, and nearly choked on his coffee. His black eyes flitted to her round belly, and then back up to her face. She reached into the purse she was carrying, and pulled out a shrunken folder. Then, she drew out her wand and un-shrank them.

“You might want to read this.” She said softly. He set his coffee aside, and stood, walking to where she was to take the folder. He opened it, and his eyes darted back and forth as he read.

“Bloody fucking hell.” He said softly. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What is it, professor?” he asked. Snape looked at the woman’s belly, and then back at the folder.

“I’m going to be a father.” He said. He calmly handed the folder to her, and straightened the front of his robes. Then, his eyes rolled back and he hit the floor with a heavy thud. Sirius grinned, and looked up at the horrified woman.

“Hot bloody damn! You made him drop faster than a first year in dueling club! I commend you, my lady.”
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Hee! I know...the Lestranges weren't in this chapter....but I mentioned them....twice!

What do you think? Snape had himself a nice little surprise there, eh? Now REVIEW!!!