Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 16

November 12

It’s been hell these past two days…. Since the whole slew of news from the outside world infiltrated the house, everything has been a mess. Harry is just…unbelievable!

He’s impatient and irritable and won’t hear a word from anyone… I don’t blame him entirely but it’s getting out of hand! If he doesn’t snap out of it soon and realize that we’ve all faced losses and heartache and we will all be going through some much rougher times, he won’t make it through to the end, and then where will we be??

He’s been desperately avoiding everyone and, while Weasel and his concubine have each other, that leaves me entirely alone! AGAIN. Does he not see that??? How inconsiderate.

Little blighter.

He came into my room this morning. Before I was awake.

He came in and dropped onto the bed, nearly breaking my arm in the process and shook me awake. There was no need really; I was already painfully roused when the shooting pain struck my arm under his weight.

“AH, Potter! What the fuck!” I snarled, yanking my arm out from under him. Sure, I love to touch him, but I would prefer to be the one gauging when, where and how. I glared at him through the darkness. I don’t even know what time it was but it was definitely much earlier than I would have liked.

“Shut up, we need to talk.”

Now, is it just me, or does he just continue to prove himself the god of mixed messages? What kind of contradiction in terms is THAT?

“Hello?? Draco, are you awake??” he snapped, shaking me again.

“Sod off, Potter!” I yelled back, pushing his arm off me. “I was just trying to decide whether to ‘shut up’ or talk, because you can’t seem to make the distinction between them.”

He frowned at me. Angrily. I could tell even through the dark haze.

“Oh just get up,” he ordered. I shimmied up from under the covers (wearing the shirt that he had abandoned before, I might add) and sat up next to him, frowning.

“What time is it?” I demanded, squinting through the darkness. “Bloody hell, it’s the middle of the night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, so?”

I groaned and slumped back into bed only to find myself suddenly hanging by my ankle in mid-air.

Let’s just say that was NOT a pleasant experience in the middle of the night when I was NOT expecting it.

“ARGH POTTER!” I screamed, flailing helplessly as he both glared and smirked at me simultaneously. “LET ME DOWN!!”

“Are you going to stop being a bloody prick now?” he sneered. I was very much reminded of myself.

“OH YES, BECAUSE HANGING ME IN MID-AIR BY MY ANKLE IS REALLY GREAT INCENTIVE FOR ME TO DO AS YOU WANT!!” I hollered, still flailing.

This sorely reminded me of when Moody had turned me into a ferret…

Less the being catapulted into the ground again and again.

And the whole ‘being an animal’ thing.

And then he dropped me, unceremoniously, onto the mattress. Face first.

I groaned and lifted myself onto my hands and knees to face him. I was glaring and my lip curled in a snarl.

“Good morning to you too,” I spat, readjusting myself. He huffed.

“Shut it! You deserved it you little ferret!” he spat with a smug tone. I tensed and turned back to him. He clearly thought it was a clever joke but I did not.

My voice got low and harsh and there was no room for compromise.

“Do NOT call me that!” I ordered him. He made a noise of distinct displeasure.

“Oh come off it,” Harry went on. “You aren’t still sore about that whole thing, are you??”

“YES I BLOODY WELL AM!” I couldn’t stop myself from yelling at him. “YOU try being turned into a fragile little creature and then hurled into the stone ground from ten feet in the air repeatedly and tell me you aren’t SORE!”

He stared at me a moment.

“What? It wasn’t that bad,” he reasoned, trying to remember. “He was just bouncing you –”

“And what did you think BOUNCING entailed, Potter?” I sneered. “Fluffy cushions and happy feelings? It’s being thrown INTO the ground, then lifted again, and thrown BACK into the ground!”

“You-…. You aren’t serious?” he asked, suddenly much quieter than before.

“Yes, because I like to joke about things like this,” I hissed. He looked taken aback.

“It really hurt that much??” he asked as though this really couldn’t have been as bad as I make it seem. Honestly, I was considering turning him into a bloody raccoon and throwing him through the wall to see what he says.

“Yes, you prat. I had broken ribs and the bruises wouldn’t leave for weeks!”

He shut up and then suddenly turned very red. Even in the darkness I could see that.

“Yes, Potter, I saw how you reacted too.”

“I… you tried to hex me!” he defended rather half-heartedly.

“You use that excuse a lot,” I told him, referring to the time he’d cut me up with a spell.

Then some inexplicable change came over him and he was glaring and grimacing again.

“This is exactly what I needed to talk to you about,” he proclaimed.

“About sectumsempra?” I asked innocently. He shuddered.

“No,” Harry answered. “About Death-Eaters.”

“What the hell?”

I don’t see the relation. Someone please, give him a smack in the back of the head to rattle his brains or I WILL.

“Death-Eaters!” he screamed. “The Moody that turned you into a ferret was a Death-Eater in disguise! Death-Eaters and Voldemort! They are the ones that cause all this pain and they are the ones responsible for killings and destruction and I’m just sitting by and letting it all happen!”

Oh not this again… he woke me up for this…

“Look Potter, most of my hurt from what the Moody did to me was from your reaction,” I explained. “I’ve experienced worse pain than that, and I promise you that was not the Death-Eaters’ doing.”

His eyes grew dark and he bit back tears and harsh words, casting his glance away from me. I immediately felt guilty for telling him that…

“Draco, I know now that I’ve done a lot of really shite things to you,” he whispered. “And I’m sorry… you’ll never understand how responsible I feel for… for everything.”

And then I knew. This wasn’t about me. This wasn’t about Death-Eaters. This was about Chang. Chang and the others who were killed or destroyed by the attack on Hogwarts and Hogsmeade.

I should know these things before hand… things aren’t ever about me.

“You can’t feel responsible for everyone,” I told him, forcing down the angry part of me that wanted to hit him for not paying more attention to me. For not caring enough. “That Chang girl, or any of the others.”

“But it shouldn’t have happened!” he exclaimed. I stopped myself before I rolled my eyes. Of course it shouldn’t have happened. “She knows how to defend herself against Dementors! I taught her myself!! In the D.A.!”

I growled at the reference. How is it possible that this bloody idiot of a girl still seems more important to him in being soulless than I do when I’m sitting right here, asking for him??

“I mean, granted she was terrible, but she should have at least known enough to run!!” He continued to ramble for a while and I realized something. “I was such a terrible teacher… I should have given it more effort… or done more to have them get it. I should have brought a boggart or something so that I could turn it into a Dementor…”

Potter’s greatest fear is Dementors and everyone else in this damn house would know how to protect themselves against the Dementors but I don’t.

I have no clue.

I mean I know I would have to use the Patronus charm…but how do I use that?

“Potter, whether you like it or not,” I began, feeling frustrated and slighted and cranky. “The Dementors aren’t just going to turn on their heels and leave her alone for casting a withering wisp of silver stuff. They want a soul, they can sense a weak wizard, they will take it. You should know that. This isn’t your fault. It isn’t even hers. This is only the fault of Voldemort. You can’t be both the villain AND the hero.”

He didn’t look at me. I wonder sometimes if he just comes to me to be yelled at. Am I the only person who can knock some sense into him?

“I just can’t keep waiting and biding my time,” he finally said. “The more I wait, the more people will suffer and I can’t let that happen.”

Maybe I’m selfish, but I kept thinking that he is just sitting by and literally CAUSING my suffering but that doesn’t seem to matter to him.

“We won’t,” I said, wondering why I was including myself in his equation as he clearly did not think I should be there. “But only fools rush in. Voldemort is biding his time too… these weren’t huge attacks, believe it or not, and there won’t be for a while. He’s waiting just like you are. This is a game to him. It’s our move.”

He didn’t move or look at me still. He just heaved a sigh and let himself lie back on the mattress next to me.

“Thank you,” he whispered. I cocked a brow.

“What?” I asked. I don’t think I’ve ever been confused this often in my life. “For what??”

“For letting me be a total arse.” He shut his eyes with a smile. I gave him an incredulous look. “Ron and Hermione just let me brood. They stay away from me or else offer what they think are comforting words that just make me feel worse… Telling me that they have faith in me because I’m brave and strong and powerful and blahblahblah. The Chosen One.” He rambled. “And then they go off and snog some more. But you… you let me wake you up in the middle of the night. You let me fight with you and hex you and yell at you and even treat you terribly and you just yell right back. You scold me and show me that I’m just as much of an inexperienced git as the next person and that I shouldn’t be such an idiot.”

“Well, that description makes me sound just wonderful,” I muttered sarcastically. He laughed.

“It does,” he answered. And then he looked at me strangely.

“What?” I asked again.

“Where were the bruises?” he asked softly. Harry’s eyes were much softer now than before. It was like all he had needed was to get his anger out of his system…

“Why?” I snapped. He sat up and pushed up the shirt I was wearing, peeling it off me to see my chest. I gasped softly as he put his hands on my stomach.

“Were they just in some places?” he asked silkily, placing soft kisses against my skin from my collarbone and downward. “Or everywhere?”

I shivered and melted inside. I wanted to hit him and yell at him and scold him for doing this to me and yet somehow acting as though he doesn’t care at all and then just throw him into the mattress and ravish every part of him.

“Everywhere,” I whispered despite myself. He gave a small chuckled and ran his tongue flat against my chest and over my nipple. I opened my mouth to groan but no sound came out for some reason.

I lifted his head to mine and his eyes were sad and repentant.

“I never should have laughed,” he whispered. “I can’t even explain what must have come over me.”

But I knew. I knew exactly what it was.

“Hatred,” I whispered, my eyes flat and my voice toneless. He flinched slightly and looked away.

“You should sleep…” he said, turning back to me and running his fingers through my hair. “I won’t leave… if you don’t mind. I just want to be next to you… for now.”

I nodded and lay back down on the bed. He sat up for a while, playing carefully with my hair as though he was afraid that I might decapitate him if he messed it up.

I wouldn’t care.

Not for him…

******

November 13

Lupin came today. He brought Tonks and Kingsley with him and it was a good thing too because he looked an absolute mess. His hair was streaked with more grey than before through the tawny locks and there were many new scars on his face.

Then something strange hit me. He had this uncanny way of giving off a soothing feeling and he was somehow beautiful through the scars. Unlike Moody, who was absolutely frightening.

I felt guilty for having disliked him so much all those years… he treated me so much better than everyone else in the house… even better than Harry sometimes.

Or Potter… I haven’t decided what I should call him really…

Anyway, he told us that he was swept up with the attack and was forced to stand amidst it. He did his best to lead students to safe places, using the knot in the Whomping Willow (I don’t know what this is but everyone else seemed to) to let students pass through the passage and get to the Shrieking Shack (upon which he’d placed strong defenses and protections (again, how he knows all these things, and how Potter and the rest know them too, I’ll never know I’m sure, but it was interesting nonetheless).

He was attacked by other Werewolves in the process though he managed to obliviate those that did see. He told us of the wreckage and how terrible it was but he wouldn’t give details. He said that we would all know these things in time and it would serve no good to desensitize us to it.

He said that our sensitivity to the horrors was part of our upper hand.

He took a few hours to rest and heal but it didn’t take long. Tonks seemed to try to insist that he take a day but he refused. Said there was no time for that.

We told Lupin about Wormtail and everything. It was not a pleasant conversation.

“Peter is with Severus?” he reiterated quietly and thoughtfully. “I would never have thought… Well I suppose that’s the point, isn’t it?”

Again with the cryptic comments.

“We need to go and get him,” Harry stated.

“Yes, but how? The Ministry and the Order have both searched Snape’s home and haven’t found anything,” he explained. “They’ve also been watching it in the event he comes back but there has been no sign at all.”

“But I was with him,” I countered. “I heard them both and I was with Snape… maybe it’s not his house.”

“That is possible I suppose,” Lupin nodded. “Do you remember exactly and clearly where you were?”

I shut my mouth…. There was a slight problem there.

“Well…”I began glancing around the room. “I don’t really remember what the house itself looked like… I mean I was so busy trying to escape with my skin that I only looked ahead of me! But… I do remember the wood where I caught the Knight Bus…. I remember that spot exactly and it couldn’t have been far from the house… I’m sure I’ll know it when I see it.”

They did not seem assured.

I don’t blame them. I wasn’t.

“Alright, Draco,” Lupin nodded. “We will all go. You will have to Apparate us there one at a time since you are the only one who has seen this place. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” I told him determinately. It wasn’t hard to look calm. I have perfected my outward appearance of unimpressed boredom over the years. But inside I felt my skin crawling. “It’s an obscure area so I doubt we’ll be noticed.”

Lupin nodded to me and stood. Harry did as well, along with Granger and Weasel. Tonks and Shacklebolt were already standing. I got to my feet as well, seeing as everyone else had.

“Then we should go now,” Lupin suggested. “But before we do, Draco, you should know that the address of this place is 12 Grimmauld Place, Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.”

And then, without warning, the house felt like it was spinning. The walls were suddenly not so dark and there were windows…. ACTUAL WINDOWS in certain rooms. I could see outside, though most of them were obscured by curtains. THERE WAS LIGHT and the whole place felt more solid and less like a hole in some kind of void.

I took a moment to regain my composure as I looked around in confusion.

So Lupin is the Secret Keeper… of 12 Grimmauld Place…The Black House.

Harry’s house.

Harry grabbed my arm and I wondered why for a moment until I realized I was unsteady and falling over. I regained my footing and shook off the whole feeling. He nodded to me and let go.

“Are you ready?” Lupin asked me. I nodded. “Alright, take me first. Then leave me there to set up a safe Apparition point and then come back to get the others. But take Harry last.”

Harry opened his mouth to argue but Lupin silenced him with a look. I nodded and took Lupin’s arm, holding as tightly as I could and I thought hard.

I pictured the woods that felt like they were from a nightmare in my mind and pulled Lupin and myself towards them.

And then, with a strangled churning in my stomach, we were there. I looked around and noticed that it was more obscure than I had previously remembered and worried that I might be leading them to nowhere at all.

Lupin sent me back and I ferried them all over one by one, leaving Harry for last as Lupin had instructed.

Once I got back for Harry, I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my lips to his mouth briefly before pulling away.

“What was that for?” he asked rather surprised.

“Felt like it,” I lied and Apparated us both before he could respond.

But that wasn’t why at all… I did it because I was afraid. I was afraid that this was going to go wrong… I did it because I was worried that I would never see him again after this and I didn’t want to let him know that. I wasn’t going to be that vulnerable anymore… not openly. And I needed him forget about my feelings for him in case something did go wrong and…

Just so that he doesn’t have to feel bad for me… so that he will be ok.

It all means nothing as long as he will make it through… But I’ll never tell him that either.

And then we were all there, standing in a small clearing and glancing around ourselves to try and divine the way towards Snape’s place.

I felt a sinking feeling inside as the realization began to wash over me that I might not be able to do it… that I might fail them again… like I’ve failed my parents and Voldemort and Dumbledore… Like I’ve failed myself.

And then as I was turning I saw something in the distance… not so much saw as felt.

I could see a small dark town off just beyond the trees and somehow I knew Snape’s house was there. It was there and nowhere else. And I wasn’t afraid anymore.

“This way.”

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: I don’t really like this chapter. It simply refused to write itself and I don’t like it, but hopefully it’s alright anyway… I’m having issues getting to where I’m heading and it worries me a little but I hope to get through it! Argh, if anyone was wondering why Cho was at Hogwarts, she wasn’t. She was in Hogsmeade and that got attacked at the same time. She was visiting, we’ll say. Yes yes.

And I… argh I just hope this came out ok. The reactions are kind of strange, but I think it’s important about both of them. Draco is resigning himself to this part he has to play for Harry (but that will change) and Harry is getting more comfortable with Draco… I think Harry more often needs to just vent and have someone yell back at him instead of doing like Dumbledore in the 5th and just letting him do as he pleases… he needs to fight and get angry and Draco is perfect for that.

Also, Cho isn’t dead; she’s just soulless though that does mean she’ll just die eventually. Harry’s reaction is more about the fact that he was the one who tried to teach her to defend herself and she couldn’t so he feels like he failed her directly. He’s not done with feeling bad, but anyway.

Wormtail does indeed owe Harry a life debt and it will be dealt with :) I can’t say if Snape is evil or not, you’ll have to judge for yourselves eheheh but all will come out in time ^_^

Oh and smokey: Draco did shower later, I promise you he wouldn’t go without cleaning himself. As did Harry. Just not RIGHT after their little interlude lmao. I just didn’t include it ahah

I'm sorry if the link isn't working... I don't know how to fix it X_X If it doesn't work if you copy and paste it into your browser well then I've no clue. If you'd like me to email you the image (it's an image yes lol) then feel free to ask, though I need your email of course :)

I’m having a few issues with Draco’s evolution and yes, he’s becoming a bit unstable in his actions but it’s because it’s very hard to deal with a sudden shift in your character, even if it is impulsive and right and feels natural. He wants to be the sod of a slytherin he always was but can’t always. It will come out again though. It always does. And Harry…. Well Harry is just more work than I can handle sometimes. I get so sad because I feel like I’m losing control of this and shouldn’t keep going….

I hope you are all still into it and aren’t getting bored with me X_X

*love to all and cookies and any other bribes that might work eheh*