Close Enough

Ch 43 The Flat

“Harry?” Cord called as she exited the fireplace into a dark and seemingly empty flat. “Harry I know you are here, let me see you so that I can know you are okay.” There was no response to her calling as she walked down the hall toward Harry’s bedroom. “HJ I know that you are here, now will you please come out.” Cord pleaded again as she reached the dark bedroom at the end of the hall. Peeking around the corner she called, “Harry?” Cord slowly rounded the corner, keeping an eye out for movement. “I know that you are here Harry, I can smell you. Now if you want to play hide and seek I will win, why don’t you just come out and we can talk.” She said as she moved slowly toward the bay window on the opposite wall.
“Leave.” A hoarse whisper came from the window seat directly in front of her. “I do not want you here.”
“Harry, I am not leaving until I know you are okay.” Cord said calmly. “I won’t pressure you into returning with me, but I need to know that you are okay.” She closed the space between herself and the window, timidly reaching out toward the ‘empty’ space in front of her. “Father is worried about you. I want to be able to tell him that you are fine.” Cord gently wrapped her fingers around the silky material and pulled it away from the shadowy figure it was hiding. “There you are.”
“Go away Cord. I’m fine. I have not hurt anyone; myself or otherwise, I have been here since I left the castle, and I will talk to Severus when I am ready to do so.” Harry said in a soft yet firm voice, “You have the knowledge that you came to collect, please leave me be.” Cord sat next to where Harry’s feet rested on the window seat, resting a hand softly on Harry’s knee.
“Harry, I need more than you to tell me that you are fine, I need to see it.” Harry shifted slightly, hugging his arms tightly around his knees, curling as close to himself as was possible. “Why do you have all of the lights off?”
“I don’t need the light Cord, you know that.” Harry said, not looking away from the window.
“and the cloak?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to be seen.”
“I see, and who exactly was going to see you when you were alone here?” she questioned.
“I knew someone would eventually come here.”
“You knew I’d know where to find you.” She stated.
“I knew that if he went to Severus, your father would call you to look for me.” Harry said, moodily.
“So you wanted to be found then? You knew I’d come here looking for you, and even with the cloak on you knew I’d know you were here.” Cord said, resting a hand on Harry’s arm; Harry flinched it away.
“I had no where else to go. This is my home, so I returned here.” Harry said flatly, removing himself from the window seat and pacing away from Cord.
“Well, Draco did go to father when he couldn’t find you.” She watched Harry run the fingers of his right hand over his left wrist gently.
“I assumed as much.”
“Harry, he’s sorry about what he said to you.”
“I don’t bloody well care if the git is sorry or not!” Harry hissed. “The fact that he said it at all is enough for me.” Harry’s arms hung loosely at his sides. “Cord, just go. I don’t want you here, and I need to be alone.”
“Harry,” Cord’s eyes narrowed and she stepped away from the shaded window, “What’s on your arm?” she asked, knowing full well the answer as she approached Harry.
“Nothing.” Harry said, a little too quickly as he took hold of his left wrist again.
“I know what it is Harry, I can smell it.” The Vampire crept up beside Harry grabbing his arm and pulling it away to look at it, “You’ve been cutting again.” She said in disgust, looking closely at Harry’s arm. “You haven’t done this shit for over a year Harry! Why are you getting yourself back into it? Huh?” Cord asked angrily as she spun the struggling young man to face her. “So he says one stupid thing to you and you go off the deep end? Are you insane?!” Harry pulled roughly away from her walking back over to the window crossing his arms firmly over his chest.
“One stupid thing?? He was upset about not being with his family for the holidays… I wanted to comfort him, I needed him to feel better… so I told him that it would get easier. He said that it was easy not to miss something you never had.” Cord leaned against the bed, knowing that Harry needed this, he needed to get it out; like draining the poison in a way. “He thinks that I never had family, that I don’t have a family to miss.” Harry’s head bowed, “Yea, I didn’t have family to get attached to on holidays growing up because my parents died before I really knew them. I miss them for all the time I needed them and they weren’t there. I found family in my friends at Hogwarts, and Ron’s family. Nearly all of Ron’s family died in the war, Ginny is in St. Mungo’s because I wasn’t fast enough, and Percy is in prison because he took the mark right before the final battle! Now Ron has joined him. I had Sirius, who fell. I had Remus, who died in my bloody arms! I had a family, not a blood family, but a family all my own! And I miss them every single day.” Cord watched as Harry raised his hands to his face roughly wiping away the tears that had stained his cheeks. “And I was finally feeling like I was going to have a real family, a real one, with Draco. But I’m not enough for him, it isn’t enough for him.”
“Draco just misses them. That’s all. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. His parents died by the hand of the man they once served, and Draco was lucky that he wasn’t with them when it happened otherwise he would have been gone too.” Cord said, approaching Harry and slowly wrapping her arms around his waist, holding him tightly to her. “You will be his future, you and your family that you create together. You both have a past… I just don’t think that Draco realized that you considered all those people your family, and that you might be hurting too…”
“It just hurt… he thought I didn’t understand… didn’t know the hurt, the ache, the emptiness that those people left inside…” Harry’s head fell forward, “I just don’t want to hurt anymore Cord… maybe I’m better off alone.” He finished in a whisper.
“Harry James Potter, don’t you say things like that.” She squeezed him tighter to herself, “You have me, and Cloe. The guys all love you, you know that. And you have Draco; he needs you just as you need him.”
“I’m just tired of everything being so hard.” Harry murmured, looking out the shaded window.
“Everything will be fine, I promise.” She kissed his cheek before slowly spinning him around. “I’m sure your Vampire will make this hurt up to you. And any other hurt that may occur in the future. You are to be bonded, Harry, he feels for you deeply.”
“Yea… I’m sure he does… but I have fallen in love with him.” Harry said as he wrapped his arms tightly around Cord who returned the embrace, “He’s my family now… what if he can’t love me? What if he never loves me?”
“He will… you just have to give him a chance.” Cord said, holding Harry at arms length to look at him, “No relationship is perfect. But you have something wonderful if you let it be. Just try to let him in, okay?” Harry nodded, slowly. “Good, now we should be getting back. I’m sure father looked ready to kill when I left him with Draco, so it would probably be in our best interest to go now.” Cord smiled softly, guiding Harry out of the bedroom and down the hall.
“Do you think Sev killed him?” Harry asked in a light almost laughing tone.
“Well, he probably didn’t kill him. But I imagine, if I know my father at all, he made him feel as stupid as possible in the amount of time provided, and then made him stress about if I could convince you to come back with me.” Cord laughed
“You’re probably right.” Harry rubbed at his puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Do you think I could shower before we leave? I’ve been crying for a couple days now, I can imagine I look like shit.” Cord gave him an appraising look then nodded.
“You go shower. I’ll be in the kitchen. I’m sure you haven’t eaten either.” She scowled at Harry’s guilty look, “I don’t care what he says Harry, don’t let him make you do these things to yourself. You are the only one who gets hurt by it.”
“Yes, mum, I promise to be a good boy and eat my veggies.” Harry joked, before heading back down the hall toward his bathroom.
“And heal those damn cuts while you’re at it!” Cord yelled after him, “all we need is for the distressed Vampire to smell your blood the moment you show up.” She watched Harry turn and nod at her before entering the bathroom to shower. “What am I going to do with him?” Cord muttered to herself as she entered the kitchen to find Harry something to eat.