Where Others Fear to Tread

A/N Please don\'t be pissed that I killed some pretty major characters off in this chappy.

Chapter 44

“So how is my favourite godson?” Sirius smiled as reclined back in the chair, having leant across to pick up his cup of tea off the tray, Severus had begrudgingly brought over from the small kitchenette.

“Tired.” Harry whispered as he sipped from his tea, very much aware of the way Severus hovered next to him protectively. Sirius had arrived in the early afternoon, invited by Dumbledore to stay for dinner. Now though after the meal, the three of them had retired to Severus’ chambers in the dungeons so that Harry could spend a little time with his godfather. Severus had managed to keep his mouth shut the entire time, but Harry hadn’t missed the protective hand that had strayed to his knee at any opportune moment. Harry was sure his godfather had noticed it too, the message very clear.

“Well that’s to be expected Harry. When you’ve finished your exams you can rest up a little.” Sirius smiled at Harry who nodded in agreement.

“Yes, Mrs Weasley’s invited us to the burrow for Christmas, so I can get away from this place for awhile.” Sirius smiled warmly, the silence that hung in the air testament to the fact the burrow would never be the same again without Mr Weasley.

“I heard Ron’s doing well.” Sirius continued not willing to linger on the pain they all felt in the loss of their friends.

“Quite, he says Auror training is tough but his elder brother Charlie is helping him with the tests, now he’s come home to look after his mum.” Harry sipped from his tea, Severus’ fingertips just ghosting across his neck making Harry shiver slightly. There was a lingering silence that stretched for a moment and Harry sensed his lover’s unease as Sirius put aside his cup of tea and stood up so that he was the same height as Snape.

“Snape, do you mind leaving us for a minute I need to ask Harry something.” Harry was stunned by Sirius’ forwardness and Harry glanced from his godfathers determined expression to Snape, who narrowed his eyes and glared at Sirius suspiciously.

“Harry is my partner Black, what you can tell him you can tell me.” Snape was standing his ground and Harry could see the rising irritation between the two wizards.

“Perhaps it’s none of your business Snape….” Sirius went to step forward and push his finger pointedly into Snape’s chest when Harry stood up abruptly between them, holding his godfather back as he glanced over his shoulder at Snape.

“Please Sev, leave us I won’t be long I promise.” Harry bit his lip nervously as he watched Snape glance from him, to Sirius and then back again at his lover. Snape wasn’t in the slightest happy but begrudgingly swept up his coat and a few books from the side table.

“I’ll be in the library when you two have finished.” Harry knew that tone in Severus voice, and inwardly winced at the hurt hidden beneath the sarcasm. Severus was pissed, and Harry knew it. Of late Severus had become extremely possessive of Harry, going so far as to follow him to and from the bathroom, and hovering over Harry’s tutoring sessions with the other professors. Harry hadn’t mentioned it, after all the last time they’d been apart after an argument Harry had been kidnapped and Harry supposed Snape was just being cautious. The door slammed closed with some force and Harry sighed and sat back down in his chair as Sirius puffed his chest out in success.

“This better be worth it Sirius, he’s already withholding sex from me I don’t need him with holding the kisses as well.” Harry looked pointedly up at his godfather who looked at Harry a little confused.

“He’s using sex against you?” Harry rolled his eyes at his godfather before reaching for Sirius’ hand and dragging him down onto the couch beside him.

“No, he’s just doing the whole morally correct ‘professor’ thing again, he’ll come around.” Sirius chuckled sarcastically and patted Harry’s knee in comfort.

“It’s a bit late for the ‘morally correct professor routine’ Harry, he should have thought of that when he was calling in his debts.” Sirius reached forward and rested a warm hand on Harry’s slightly swollen stomach, caressing it gently before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to his godson’s forehead.

“Are you going to hold that against him forever Sirius? He means well, and I know he didn’t exactly have my best interests in mind when he called in his debts but I truly believe he loves me, and would do anything to look after me, and….” Harry paused awkwardly and placed his hand over Sirius resting on his stomach. “…well me and our family to be.” Sirius smiled and nodded reluctantly at his godson.

“But are you happy Harry? Now the wars over and you’ve done what was expected of you, I just want to see you content for the rest of your life. I don’t see how you put up with him? He’s miserable, old, hardly good looking, and apart from his past he hasn’t exactly led the life of a saint. His dark mark may be gone but you can’t forget his family were involved in the dark arts long before Tom Riddle ever entered their lives. Do you honestly think he’s going to make a good parent to your child Harry?” Harry swallowed awkwardly as he watched the sincerity wash through his godfathers eyes. Sirius had always looked after him, as had Remus and Harry supposed, that now that what friends Sirius had had, were gone he was just looking after what family he had left.

“A good parent?” Harry whispered carefully choosing his words as not to hurt Sirius feelings. “I haven’t exactly been the model parent so far. I’ve failed numerous times in protecting it against curses, I tried to leave it behind when I apperate, I forgot to fall on my hands when I was hit from behind by Voldemort, and I’ve been secretly eating chocolate under Snape’s workbench at night. Compared to me Snape will make a perfect parent.” Harry hung his head sadly against his chest unable to look into his godfathers face, knowing the disappointment he was bound to see there. Unexpectedly however Sirius laughed out loud his right hand coming up to cup Harry’s cheek gently.

“Oh Harry don’t be so hard on yourself, they were mistakes you made genuinely that no one could blame you for. You’re young and you don’t have the experience yet to understand magic like that. As for chocolate, between you and me it is an old wizards tale, completely untrue. Lily ate chocolate for three meals a day when she was pregnant with you and you still turned out alright.” Harry smiled mildly as Sirius sighed and ran his thumb across Harry’s cheek where a stray tear had settled. “Those things are all superficial Harry, what I’m referring to is Snape’s history, his temper, his moods, do you think he’s truly going to make a good parent.” Sirius looked seriously at Harry who thought silently for a moment before nodding quietly.

“Yes I think he will make a good father. He’s not how everyone thinks he is. Okay he’s snarky, sarcastic, moody and completely anal sometimes, but he’s also intelligent, careful, calm, understanding on good days, patient despite how he appears in class and he’s intensely protective of me. I believe he will make an extremely good father.” Sirius’ lips thinned, visibly not convinced of Snape’s ability to be a parent. Harry didn’t care though he knew Sirius would never get along with Snape, and despite what his godfather believed, Snape would make a good father.

“I suppose I can’t fault that, we all saw to what extents he was willing to go to, to rescue you from Malfoy Junior, although his methods were slightly less conventional.” Sirius sighed and let his hand slide from Harry’s cheek to come to rest back on the boy’s knee. Harry frowned a little in confusion. No one had yet given him a full account of what had happened the night of the battle. Severus had been avoiding the topic, Dumbledore also refused to be drawn into conversation about it, and even Harry’s friends like Ron and Hermione were only able to give him little bits of information about their own fights.

“Less conventional?” Harry inquired treading carefully unless Sirius too was bound to the secrecy everyone else seemed to be.

“Yes, well not exactly methods sanctioned by the ministry that’s for sure. Not that the Snape family have ever complied with ministry laws. I suppose not many of us were strictly using magic in accordance with the ministry that night. But still, using that potion, foolish even by my standards.” Harry’s frown deepened as Sirius picked up a small lemon curd biscuit from the tea tray and nibbled on the corner, the crumbs catching in his newly grown goatee. “And then to go to all that trouble, just to let the slimy little shit slip through his fingers.” Sirius shook his head and finished his biscuit before reaching for another, but was stopped just short of his target as Harry grabbed his hand and drew his godfather’s attention directly to him.

“Sirius, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” It was Sirius turn to frown in confusion as he watched his godson sigh heavily.

“You don’t know?” Sirius inquired, as if disbelieving that no one had told the boy who lived what had actually happened the night he’d faced his fate.

“No, everyone’s been avoiding the conversation, like I shouldn’t know or something. All I know is that Jasper bid for me at Draco’s sick little death eater meeting, and then gave me the polyjuice potion. I changed into Lucius so I could escape the wards on the house. Then it’s kind of a blur, I remember the pain and I remember his eyes, the last thing I remember is watching Severus die in my arms.” Harry looked pleadingly at Sirius who worried his bottom lip for a moment before glancing cautiously around the room as if someone was listening to their conversation.

“Shit, I didn’t realise they’d all decided to keep shut about the matter. I knew it wasn’t conventional magic, and I knew if it got out we’d all be under investigation but I didn’t think that included you as well. I don’t think I should be telling you this Harry.” Sirius looked over his shoulder again before glancing back at his godson. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep calming breath, his desperation to hear the entire story of the night Voldemort was defeated absolutely killing him.

“Please Sirius, I want to know what happened. It won’t go beyond me I promise. Please if you don’t tell me no one will.” Harry looked pleadingly at Sirius who at length finally relented and nodded in agreement.

“Alright I can only tell you what I know.” Harry smiled and settled himself comfortably on the couch as Sirius picked up the plate of biscuits and settled beside his godson. “From the beginning it was always an unspoken rule that to defeat Voldemort it was going to take more than just ‘ministry sanctioned’ magic. No one talked about it but secretly everyone knew. Dark magic was going to have to be used to defeat dark magic; hence you’re secret training.” Harry nodded already having assumed this was true anyway. “Admittedly we were all using ‘forbidden’ curses that night but I think Severus and his brother went one step further.”

“What’s beyond dark magic?” Harry whispered somewhat confused by what other types of magic there were.

“Experimental magic.” Sirius whispered again cautiously looking towards the fireplace that was still warming the cool dungeon room they were sitting in. Harry looked blankly at his godfather who sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “Experimental magic is stuff wizards don’t like to talk about. The ministry bans it and all those found attempting to harness it are in for a long stay in Azkaban but it still goes on. All magic at one stage was experimental, after all that’s how the first wizards and witches learnt to use their talents but as the decades moved on, experimental magic became used not for creating new charms or new magical abilities, instead it was being used in the dark arts by dark wizards, that’s why it was outlawed.” Harry was completely fascinated and stared at Sirius who was gradually snacking his way through the custard filled biscuits.

“But if it’s outlawed how do new wizarding techniques, spells and charms come to be?” Harry inquired confused by how wizarding society could continue to function without growth and expansion.

“Well new ‘discoveries’ as they’re termed are classed as mishaps rather than innovations. Innovation implies the creator spent time experimenting with magic, whereas a mishap implies a mistake of some sort, which resulted ‘miraculously’ in this new discovery. Do you understand the difference?” Harry nodded, although to him it sounded like a whole heap of crap, thought up by the mother of all crap mishaps, the ‘ministry of magic’.

“That’s utter two facedness. What about Fred and George, they’re always playing with magic to create new pranks.” Sirius nodded in agreement and continued having munched through another biscuit.

“Yeah I know but that’s life. What I’m getting at however is that the Snape family have been dabbling in ‘experimental magic’ for as long as there’s been Snape’s in the wizarding world. Which is probably why they attracted the attention of Riddle, but anyway the plan to get you out of the house involved a great deal of this ‘experimental magic.’” Harry listened again, intent on hearing what was going on. “What you thought was a polyjuice potion wasn’t, it was a variant form which according to Snape allows the drinker complete embodiment of the person they’re turning into. It’s highly illegal, and completely not tested but luckily for us it worked.”

“Complete embodiment?” Harry inquired unsure of what Sirius meant by the term.

“Yes, for that brief time, you were in every sense of being ‘Lucius Malfoy’. That’s why when you had Lucius’ wand you were able to use it just as he would have. It’s also why the wards didn’t pick up your leaving, because you also had Lucius’ magical signature, another ‘mishap’ Snape incorporated into the potion.” Harry was completely dumbstruck and sat open mouthed staring at his godfather. “I’m surprised the potion lasted so long on Severus and his brother, but Severus was determined to rescue you himself, and Jasper was determined to keep his brother alive, even if that meant sacrificing himself.” This revelation stunned Harry further as realization settled in.

“You mean it was Severus who came into the house for me, that Jasper agreed to be his brother to confuse Voldemort.” Sirius nodded sharply as he dusted the crumbs from his robe and put the empty plate back onto the tea tray resting on the table.

“Yes, he didn’t tell you?” Harry shook his head quietly still reeling over Jasper’s self sacrifice for his brother, and Severus own risk in saving Harry. Although Harry also had to admit the plan had worked flawlessly despite the tragic outcome. “Well I suppose that was all part of Dumbledore’s larger plan to cover our tracks. When the fighting got bad I lost track of what was happening but by the time I made it up to you in the woods, Severus and his brother were already there with your fathers wand. It all happened so quickly then. It was a good curse Harry, straight through his heart, you sent that fucker to hell, it’s just a shame Remus or your father weren’t there to see it.” Harry reached across and gently placed his hand comfortably over Sirius who took a deep calming breath before looking back up into the eyes of his godson. “After you’d passed out, when were back in the house discussing what had happened and who we’d lost, it came into conversation that ‘Draco’ had escaped. Severus didn’t tell the specifics but I know Dumbledore knew something, but no one questioned it. The ministry had us all under house arrest for a week until they were satisfied we’d not broken any laws or so they reckon. Severus was questioned the most, they had him locked in a room upstairs for a week and a half in questioning. He looked completely shattered when they finally let him out, but I guess Dumbledore’s cover up of the unsanctioned magic was done well.” Harry bowed his head a little against his chest, thinking quietly about how much Severus had been through for him.

“I’m glad it’s over.” Harry whispered genuinely sounding relieved. Sirius smiled in acknowledgement and leaned forward to press a kiss against Harry’s forehead.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up, I just needed some time to myself.” Sirius whispered softly against Harry’s head as he hugged his godson close.

“It’s okay I understand, I miss Remus too and I miss Jasper and Mr Weasly.” Harry smiled up weakly at Sirius who sighed and closed his eyes, his pain for the loss of Remus so very fresh.

“I can’t believe after all these years ‘Jasper Snape’ was actually still alive.” Trying to lighten the mood a little Sirius put forward what Harry had been hearing all month about the sudden reappearance of the long dead ‘Jasper Snape’.

“He was really nice to me, I think Severus misses him but he doesn’t let on.” Harry smiled warmly at the memories of Jasper training him, but then allowed the smile to drop as he remembered listening to Severus sobbing in the bathroom the evening after they’d laid to rest those lost in the war. Severus had never showed any outward emotion to Harry that he was in pain but as Harry had sat at the closed door listening to his partner cry alone and in private Harry had for a moment understood.

“You know how it feels to lose someone you love Harry, perhaps old Snivellrus has a heart after all.” Harry was a little stunned by what he’d just heard from Sirius’ mouth.

“Was that compassion for Snape I just heard in your voice Sirius?” Harry questioned unsure if he’d heard correct.

“Perhaps, just don’t tell him will you.” Harry chuckled and nodded before closing his eyes and settling against his godfather’s chest, comfortable in the circle of Sirius’ arms. Not everything was clear about the battle but at least something made a bit more sense to Harry. Now all Harry had to discover was what else Severus had done that night.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>