Jaded

JADED

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.

A/N: A bit disappointing, I know, shocking even, but I really don’t have anything to say today…

Thank you, thank you, thank you dragon.


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Chapter Forty-two: Black is back!

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Remus looked down at the sleep-relaxed face of his lover, smiling softly. When they returned from the graveyard yesterday after a detour to the Weasley’s for dinner Harry had been so emotionally exhausted that he’d retired to bed soon after they entered the door, which suited Remus just fine as he had a lot of things to get ready for the following day and hiding his intentions from Harry was made easier by the fact that he didn’t have to lie about anything.

Remus carefully got out of the bed, and Harry gave a small sigh and rolled over. Remus smiled again, Harry was going to be quite surprised when he woke up in a few hours to find himself alone in bed. Usually it was he, Harry, who was the early riser of the two. With the help of his wand-light Remus quickly donned his robes, the chill of the room seeping into his limbs now that he’d left the warmth of the covers. He tossed a glace at the window, heaving a small sigh of disappointment at the blackness that greeted him from the other side. How he wished he could just slide back into the bed and forget all about the nasty winter outside… But there was Sirius to think of, and the sooner he got started on his task, the sooner he’d be able to pull Sirius back into the land of the living. Hopefully.

Once he was down in the entrance hall, Remus quickly pulled on his boots, gloves, scarf and woolly hat. Even with all the renovations Harry had made in the past month or so, a house this size was still hard to warm up properly in the winter, especially at this ungodly hour. With a deep breath Remus opened the door and ventured out into the freezing darkness. Since the house in Grimmauld Place was still under the Fidelius charm the fireplaces were connected to a very slim number of floo ports, namely the Headmaster’s office in Hogwarts and The Burrow which forced Remus to leave the house altogether and apparate to the center of London, next to the tourist entrance of the Ministry of Magic, where he and Arthur had set to meet.

When he emerged from the alley he had apparated into Remus saw Arthur already waiting for him, hopping from one foot to another to fight off the cold. Remus quickly approached him and the older man smiled at him gratefully,

“You’re here. Let’s go.” He said briskly and the two men squeezed into the old telephone booth. Remus could feel his heart rate beginning to increase, this was real, this was actually happening! Down at the bottom of the telephone lift the two exited and marched quickly over the deserted Atrium of the Ministry, their footsteps echoing on the dark marble. Remus hated the ministry, it was the manifestation of evil to him, here sat the people who declared him a monster and a danger to society, forcing him to hide for most of his life. Here sat the people that made Harry’s life hell for the most part, and most importantly, here was the place he associated with Sirius’ death, or disappearance. In a way it felt good to have one over the ministry, even if it amounted to nothing.

Remus sighed and shook his head as the grill of the elevator closed behind them in a loud screech. Everything was far too loud for his liking, his sensitive ears were constantly perked up to try and work out noises that were not made by him and Arthur. Although technically neither of them were out of bounds, since the ministry was not being sealed off for the night no-one could actually do anything to them, but Remus still preferred to leave their business quiet. Merlin knows that once the truth came out, if he succeeded, all hell would break loose. Remus was only glad the Order had insisted on clearing Sirius’ name, post-mortem, when Peter Pettigrew’s body was presented as evidence to his quite recent death.

The trip down to level nine was all too slow for Remus’ liking, but Arthur didn’t seem disturbed by it at all. As a matter of fact, he was still quite sceptical about the wisdom of the plan. When Remus approached him last night after dinner Arthur had to fight off the urge to laugh in Remus’ face more than once. If it wasn’t for the fire in the werewolf’s eyes and the fact that Arthur himself wanted Sirius to be saved he’d have dismissed the whole idea on the spot, writing it off as some sort of Marauders’ prank. But he did everything that Remus asked of him, and he would be the first to offer Remus his support and condolences should he fail.

“Alright, Remus, here are the portkeys you asked for.” Arthur said in a kind voice, handing Remus a pouch made of soft, dark fabric. They were standing at the bottom of the dais on which the veiled arch stood, Remus was eyeing the softly swishing translucent veil, trying to harden his resolve and faith in his mission. He nodded and took the pouch from the older wizard and opened the laces to peer inside, “Now, there are two of them, both activated by touch and a verbal command, which is ‘Hogwarts infirmary’. You just need to drop one into Sirius’ hand and say the words and the portkey will activate. The other one is for you to follow.” Arthur explained, and Remus nodded his understanding before he pulled back the laces and closed the sack, hiding the two crumpled parchments that were his portkeys.

“Thank you Arthur, for everything.” Remus said, trying to voice how deeply he was touched by the willingness to assist. Not everyone would agree to get up at five a.m. and create unregistered portkeys for a cause they didn’t fully believe in.

“Don’t worry lad, it’s quite alright.” Arthur said with a smile and turned to leave before he lifted his finger in the air and turned again, “I almost forgot,” He said cheerfully and extracted a small parcel from his pocket. With a tap of his wand the parcel grew to the size of a small box, which he handed to Remus, “Molly sent you some food.” Remus let out a surprised chuckle. No matter how much he’d sparred with the woman, she was still the best cook in Britain and turning down Molly’s cooking was sheer folly. Besides, the woman couldn’t really help herself it seemed, and no amount of arguments with Remus could beat the mother hen out of her.

“Thank you.” Arthur gave him a friendly slap on the back and left Remus to his own. Although he wasn’t overly fond of waking up so early, this at least gave him the opportunity to finish a few things that were accumulating on his desk. Or, as was more likely, kip for a while on his office sofa, at least until his secretary came bustling in. Gods, Arthur thought with a small mental sigh, if he’d known how much crap he had to put up with as Deputy Minister he’d have happily stayed in his little corner in the Misused Muggle Artifacts Office.

As soon as Remus was left alone he turned to the dais and looked up at the veil. He contemplated where would be the best spot for him to sit while he was calling Sirius out, since he had a feeling this would take a while. In the end he decided that just where he was standing was the best place, he remembered James’ warning about ectoplasm and though he was not entirely sure what the veil was made of he had no desire to touch it. And so he conjured himself a comfy armchair and snuggled into it, bringing his knees to his chest and putting both Molly’s food offering and the portkeys on the armrest.

“Hmm, ok, I feel like a complete fool now…” He mumbled to himself before he cleared his throat, “So, here I am, sitting here like a complete moron, trying to call you out because James said you’re not dead… he said you’ve been wondering around lost and unable to find your way out.” Remus chewed on his lip for a while, trying to think of what to say next. He couldn’t very well just shout Sirius’ name for the next couple of hours, now could he? “How can I tell if you’re hearing me or not?” Remus frowned a bit, before he picked up his wand and cast the strongest silencing charms he knew over the room, and then pointed the wand to his throat casting a ‘sonorus’.

“Ah,” He said and immediately flinched at the vibrating of his own voice. Casting a sonorus in a room full of people was one thing, casting one in a dead silent room was down right freaky. Remus swallowed and decided to do his best to ignore the fact that he was alone in a room while his voice carried out like rippling water, disturbing the shadows in every corner. “Much better…” He winced a little at his own words.

“So… what can I tell you… I’m back at Dumbledore’s disposal, only now it’s not the old man anymore but the old cat, if you know what I mean. So, yes, the war is over and we won. Harry did what he had to do, what Dumbledore trained him to do, and Voldemort is gone. As is Bellatrix, Lucius and most importantly, the rat.” Remus paused, taking a deep breath, “I know you’d be mad at me for not letting you in on the fun, but I had to do it. For your sake as well as Lily’s and James’. I killed Wormtail, and I really hate myself for that.” He gritted his teeth hard, damn, Peter could annoy him even from beyond the grave. In a way the rat has achieved the ultimate revenge on his former friend, since Remus knew that he would never be able to rid himself entirely of the guilt of being a murderer. Just another thing that bonded him and Harry stronger together… Remus shook himself from his morbid thoughts, this was not the time for past regrets, after all, he was trying to pull Sirius out, not to depress him so thoroughly that he’d decide to stay behind the veil.

Remus scrubbed his face, feeling very flummoxed at the moment, and then his elbow connected with the box containing Molly’s food. Remus picked it up, opening it to see the hidden treats. It seemed Molly thought that calling Sirius out would take at least a couple of days, or she mistook Remus for Hagrid because there was enough food in the box for three of him. Remus decided to bypass the ‘healthier’ food in favour of munching on Molly’s world-famous apple tartlets that were practically singing to him with their glossiness and scrumptious smell. It took him several moments of happy nibbling before he even remembered what he was doing sitting in the Departments of Mysteries in the first place, so he swallowed his mouthful, licked his fingers and tried to regain his thought-thread.

“Hmm, on happier news, Lils and Prongs have become ghosts! They say it was to ‘help Harry out’ but I think they were just bored. Anyway, they’re pearly white and translucent but just as perky and annoying as they were in life. Merlin, I’ve missed them… And Harry too. Oh, good gods above, you are not going to believe this!” He cried suddenly remembering the most exciting news of all. After the little tumble with James the previous day, Remus vowed not to mention his and Harry’s relationship to Sirius until he was certain the other man could handle it.

“You remember Jaime, don’t you? Of course you do. Guess what? Harry’s Jaime! I know, it’s a bit of a shock, to all of us, well, except Lily of course who knew all along and never bothered to tell anyone, but it’s true. See, Harry and Draco Malfoy, your second-cousin or something like that who by the way turned to the light and so you cannot hate him anymore for being dark like his father, anyway, those two oafs managed to trip each other and fall, of all places, right into a time alcove. Remember we used to suspect these things existed in the school because they were always appearing and disappearing on the map? So, apparently they do exist, and these two managed to fall right into one , lucky gits.”

Remus paused, not sure how to continue, of course Sirius would connect one thing and another and would like to know what was going on. After all, everyone’s favourite question once they learned the truth was ‘Hey, weren’t you guys involved?’. Remus chuckled to himself, gods, he’d been such an idiot, trying to persuade himself that he didn’t want Harry when he learned the truth. Luckily, he came to his senses before it was too late. He looked down at his wrist, fingering the hand-fastening band and smiling softly.

“So, erm… I guess there’s nothing for it. I really didn’t want you to find out like this but it seems rather inevitable, and just so you know, Lily and James know all about it and are fine with it so you really don’t have a say in the matter!” Remus swallowed hard and lifted his head high, as if trying to defend himself, looking at the veil in defiance. “Harry and I are together. Yes, that’s right, we’re a couple, again, I suppose. And it’s not even a physical thing, though the sex is absolutely am… a-hem, it’s more than that!” He exclaimed, his cheeks flaming. In a way he could finally voice all his reasons for being with Harry, the ones he never got to tell Molly and James about. But even talking to an empty room was making his face flush.

“Harry is the most amazing person in the world. He’s kind and sweet and strong and for some unfathomable reason he thinks I’m the best catch around. I don’t care what you have to say about this, Pads, I’m going to stay with Harry until he decides he’s had enough with me. We even… We got bonded, well, hand-fastened, on Harry’s birthday, and we’ve been very happy ever since. I’ve never told anyone this before, but I’m going to ask him to make it more official soon… I want everyone we know, you included to be there for us.” Remus pulled his knees to his chest again, resting his chin on them, unable to stop his grin, “Lily already informed us she’d like to orchestrate the whole wedding, of which I’m a bit scared, I must adm…”

Before Remus had time to finish his sentence the veil rustled violently and he jumped from his chair, scattering Molly’s food and the bag of portkeys all over the floor. Remus watched in trepidation as something wrestled its way out, hoping beyond it was Sirius and not some underworld monster. A minute or so later the body of Sirius Black, still dressed in his black leather outfit which he’d worn for the battle with Voldemort, four years ago, only now it was hanging from his form in shards, stumbled out of the veil and for a moment the two men stood and stared at each other frozen. Sirius was the first to move, looking at the wide-eyed werewolf at the bottom of the stairs he took one step towards him when his knees buckled, resulting in the darker man stumbling down the five steps with a series of groans and expletives that would have made Remus smile any other time. Only when Sirius landed in a heap and a pitiful moan at the bottom of the stairs did Remus snap out of his stupor.

His first instinct of going straight to Sirius and grabbing hold of him was overruled by James’ warning about not touching Sirius. Frantically Remus started searching for the velvet bag containing the portkeys before he remembered his wand and ‘accio’ them to him. The sac came flying from under the chair and Remus caught it, tearing it open and taking one of the crumpled parchments and dropping it carefully into Sirius’ hand.

“Hogwarts infirmary!” He shouted, cringing at the volume of his own voice as he had forgotten to take off the ‘sonorous’ charm. Sirius’ body disappeared in an instant and Remus took several seconds to recover from the shock of seeing his best mate trudging from behind the veil, before he cancelled all the charms on the room and took the other portkey and followed Sirius.

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When Remus’ feet finally touched the ground again he promptly fell on his arse, muttering to himself he rubbed his sore backside and looked around him to see if he could see Sirius. Madame Pomfrey’s head popped from behind a curtain at the noise and she looked oddly at him,

“Professor Lupin, what on earth are you doing on the floor?” Remus rolled his eyes and got to his feet,

“I fell.” He explained with dignity but she didn’t seem to care as she dove back behind the curtain. Remus followed her curiously and when he rounded it he saw a professional looking Madame Pomfrey bustling around the bed, and a blushing Ginny Weasley doing her best not to look at the bed. When Remus turned his eyes to the bed he could understand why. Sirius was lying there, completely unconscious, his torn garments removed and only his lower half covered with a white crisp sheet.

“How is he?” He asked quietly, watching Madame Pomfrey as she took out her wand and started running it over Sirius’ prone body, siphoning away the ectoplasm covering his body in a shimmering film that looked no more harmful than perspiration, and into a large lead jar that was standing on the nightstand besides Sirius’ bed. As soon as she was done she corked the jar firmly and handed it to the stunned Remus,

“We still need to run some tests on him.” She said in her clipped tone, “I need you to take this, and put it back where it came from.” Remus frowned at her, and then at the jar in his hands and the old matron sighed, “Just use your portkey and go back to the ministry and toss this behind the veil. There’s a good lad.” She added with a soft smile and with a slap to Remus’ shoulder, nudged him in the direction of the forgotten port-key. “When you’re done, just go up to Arthur’s office and floo back here, I believe we’ll have news of Mr. Black’s state by then.” Unable to refuse Remus picked up the portkey and cried out his destination with a hoarse voice.

Fifteen minutes later the hearth in the Hogwarts infirmary erupted with green flames and Remus stumbled inside, followed closely by Arthur Weasley. The two men hurried to where Sirius’ bed was, still hidden away by the portable curtains. Madame Pomfrey gave them both a smile,

“He must be the luckiest man alive,” She chirped happily, “There’s no lasting physical damage, and as for the mental one, well, we’ll just have to see later.” Remus rushed to Sirius’ bed, clasping his hand and gazing intently at the unconscious man’s face, looking for any sign of change. Sirius was alive! Sirius Black was alive! Remus’ brain still struggled to process the message, even as he looked at the man. He could feel tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, gods… In a space of two days he not only got back Lily and James, albeit slightly less, erm, alive than before but also Sirius! For the first time in his life Remus felt that things were finally going his way! And about bloody time too!

Suddenly Sirius bolted upright from the bed, sending Remus flailing backwards in a mess of robes and limbs, crashing to the floor when his grasp of Sirius’ hand jerked him back with surprise. Sirius looked around him, not realizing where he was until his eyes fell on the prone form of his friend,

“You!” He cried hoarsely, his voice sounding like an out of tune instrument from the lack of usage. Remus gulped unconsciously, trying to gauge what was bothering Sirius, “You! You knocked my godson up!” And with that Sirius crashed back onto the bed, his eyes rolling back in a dead faint. Remus looked from the floor, completely gob-smacked and flabbergasted at the turn of events. From the other side of the bed he could see Madame Pomfrey and Arthur giving him curious looks and he instantly felt himself reddening,

“Remus, would you care to explain what that was about?” Arthur asked in a tight voice that was clearly hiding his desire to laugh, and even Madame Pomfrey had to bite her lip as she leaned to check on Sirius. Remus pulled himself up from the floor, for the second time that morning and crossed his arms over his chest,

“I have no idea what he’s talking about!” He stated confidently, cursing his flaming cheeks, “Harry is a boy in case you didn’t notice!” Both Arthur and Poppy snickered before they could get a hold of themselves and Remus did his best to glare at them, gods but Sirius was going to be in deep trouble when he woke up again, deep!

“Speaking of Harry, shouldn’t you go and tell him the good news?” Remus perked immediately, looking guiltily around him, damn! “Don’t worry, Sirius will be sleeping for at least four more hours, you’ve got plenty of time.” Poppy finished, smiling wide. The fun never ends when there are marauders involved.

Not five minutes later a flushed and muttering Remus stepped out of the fireplace in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. He lifted his head to find his bonded standing over a tray of baked goods, looking pensive and tapping his finger on his chin. Remus slid behind his lover, circling his waist and resting his head on Harry’s shoulder,

“Everything alright?” He asked and Harry sighed. He lifted one of the pastries from the tray and handed it over to Remus,

“Here, tell me what you think.” Remus took the pastry and dug in, munching thoroughly and studiously. While this wasn’t Molly’s tartlets, it wasn’t bad.

“Hmm, nice scone.” He said brightly, and Harry’s face fell,

“Scone? Bugger! Those are suppose to be muffins!” Remus took another bite, but he still couldn’t feel the muffiness.

“I think they’re good.” He concluded, popping the last of his scone/muffin into his mouth,

“Good, because you’re going to eat the lot of them.” Harry grumbled and slumped into the nearest chair, rubbing his face furiously, “Damn, I’m such a failure!” Remus, though not fully understanding Harry’s distress nevertheless started rubbing his shoulders in a comforting massage.

“You’re not a failure. You’re a brilliant cook.” He said in a soothing tone that only made Harry’s ire rise. The last person he needed to be coddled by was Remus, but fortunately for both, Remus’ coddling was short lived, “Why are you stressing yourself for anyway? Aren’t they suppose to teach you this sort of thing in that school?” To him it seemed rather inane to get all flustered about something like spoiled muffins, after all, the whole point of a school, any school really was to teach you to do stuff you didn’t know and couldn’t do before, right?

“I just wanted to get a head start.” Harry said in a small, miserable voice, that made Remus drop a kiss on top of the messy black hair. Snuggling further into his lover’s embrace Harry decided that botched muffins were no reason to get all morose on boxing day, especially when they were due at Draco’s for brunch. “Where were you this morning?” He asked instead, waking up alone this morning was a rather strange experience, especially when he fully intended to indulge in what Remus wanted to start as their Christmas tradition only to find himself all alone in the massive bed.

“That’s what I came here to talk to you about, you’re never going to believe this.” Remus said with bright, twinkling eyes, sitting down next to Harry. Harry smiled at him, happy to see Remus so excited about something, “Sirius is back.” Harry blinked at him in confusion, gods, could he have stumbled by mistake on the recipe for perfect space-muffins with no grass?

“What?”

“Sirius!” Remus cried happily and rose to his feet, starting to drag Harry towards the fireplace, “Pads is alive and he’s currently at Hogwarts!” Harry felt his mind buzzing and he halted his eager lover,

“Wait a second, Pookybear. Sirius can’t be alive, he died, we both saw him…” Remus shook his head,

“No, he isn’t. Trust me on this one ok? James told me yesterday. Now, come on! I’ll explain everything when we get there, Poppy said Sirius would be sleeping for quite a bit so you’ll have time to ask everything you want!” It took Harry a few seconds to grasp what Remus was trying to tell him, but once he did, he felt his breath quickening with delirium and he started pulling Remus instead. Once Harry's feet touched the hearth in Remus' office he broke into a run, dragging his wheezing and laughing lover through the corridors towards the infirmary.

“Where is he?” He cried as he burst through the doors. Madame Pomfrey looked up from the piece of parchment she was reading, her famous scowl in place,

“Mr. Potter!” She hissed, “Would you keep your voice down? There are sick people in here!” Harry rolled his eyes,

“No, there aren’t! There’s just one person here and he’s sleeping. Where is he.” Madame Pomfrey gave Remus a scalding glare, just to let him know that she thought he was a bad influence on the boy before she pursed her lips and pointed towards the curtains hiding Sirius. Remus gave her a blinding smile, so that she didn’t think she got the better of him and followed the bouncing Harry behind the curtains.

Harry stopped as soon as he saw the prone form of his godfather, slumbering peacefully as if everything was perfectly normal. Harry dropped into the chair next to Sirius’ bed, trying to contain the swelling of emotions in his chest. Sirius was here, alive! After four years of blaming himself for Sirius’ death Harry could finally let the guilt rest. Suddenly it didn’t matter how stupid he had been at fifteen, or how much he cocked-up when it came to his lessons with Snape, because Sirius was alright and he was alive and nothing else was important.

“Gods, I just can’t believe…” He whispered, trailing his fingers over Sirius’ knuckles, feeling the warm skin and shivering. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Remus, who had seated himself next to the young man shrugged,

“It was James. He made me promise that if it didn’t work you weren’t to know anything.” Harry looked at his lover, a part of him wanted to be angry for being treated like a child, another part was grateful for the consideration and care. But most of him was just soaring with joy.

“I should have guessed it was Prongs’ lame idea…” Harry and Remus’ heads snapped at the groggy voice, and they both looked down at the slightly unfocused eyes of their friend,

“Sirius…” Harry nearly chocked on the name, while Remus snickered at his friend’s antics. Sirius gave Remus a small wink before he turned his gaze to his godson, taking it all in- the too bright eyes, flushed cheeks and smiling lips,

“Hello there squirt. Miss me much?” Harry let out a watery chuckle and clasped Sirius’ hand to him, needing to reassure himself of the reality of it all. Sirius squeezed his hand affectionately and leaned in conspiratorially, “Just promise me one thing, that I’ll get to be the baby’s godfather, yeah?” At that Remus rolled his eyes and Harry frowned,

“Gods, Pads, you’re such a dick!” Remus cried, “I never said Harry was pregnant, I don’t know where you got this rubbish idea!” Harry’s jaw dropped in disbelief,

“What?” He shrieked, completely aghast by the idea, “You told him that I’m pregnant?”

“No, I didn’t.” Remus tried to explain calmly, though he felt like he would soon fall on the floor rolling with laughter, gods, four years in limbo really messed with Sirius’ head… “Sirius doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Me, pregnant? Why on earth would he think such a thing? Even if that was possible, who said I would be the one up the duff?” Harry crossed his arms over his chest, looking defiant and challenging, his nostrils flaring at the raised eyebrows his lover and godfather were giving him, “Oh, bugger off.” He snarled and slumped back in his chair.

“Alright, so if I’m not going to become a godfather again, which I’m pretty much relieved over, since I have a feeling a pregnant Harry would make Lily look like a cuddly bear, then what the hell were you talking about Moony?” Sirius asked cheerfully, in a couple of hours, maybe days it would hit him, like a ton of bricks, the magnitude of him sitting here exchanging jokes with Remus and Harry, and then there would be questions and tears and shouts and loads of bad words because if Remus brought him back only so that he’d have to hide back in Grimmauld Place Sirius would toss the werewolf behind the veil himself! But for now he was just content to see the smiles on his friends faces and hear their voices.

“All I said was that I wanted to ask Harry to marry me!” Remus huffed, rolling his eyes. A sharp intake of breath by his side made him cringe a little, damn. That’s not how he planed to broach the subject. He was thinking more along the lines of a candlelit room, chocolate and a ring… He turned to look at Harry who’s green eyes were so wide they looked almost round,

“Really?” He squeaked, and Remus smiled softly, nodding,

“Yes, really. It’s not exactly how I wanted to propose but as always you can count on Snuffles here to muck it all up.” Sirius grinned at that, completely unabashed and completely ignored as Harry practically pounced on Remus and started to drop kisses all over the laughing werewolf’s face, like an enthusiastic puppy dog. Sirius waited a couple of seconds for the smooching to end, but when he saw the two were not in any hurry to part he cleared his throat meaningfully. Harry turned from his position on Remus’ lap, his arms circling his lover’s neck, and both looked expectantly at Sirius,

“Do I get to be best man?” He questioned with tone that dared the two to refuse,

“Of course.” Sirius’ face broke in a huge yawn,

“Good, in that case I think I’m going back to sleep. See you two crazy love birds later.”

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A/N: Well, it didn’t turn out as sappy as I thought, which is good.

This is my ‘revenge’ on the fact that Sirius never came back. I was so shocked at the end of book five that I swore I would never read book six. That lasted up until book six came out and I only read that to see if Sirius would come back to life… Which he didn’t (pout, pout, pout)