Love, Lies & Loneliness

Chapter 42
(Don’t go)

“So you’ll come?” Harry queried as he straightened out the blanket of Severus’ bed. It was the last day of term and the last day Harry would spend in Snape’s company until the man visited Grimmauld Place during the summer holidays. It was somewhat saddening that it would be Harry’s last summer holiday, next year being his final at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

“If I must.” Snape pushed Harry’s mothering hands away from his blanket. He’d spent the last three weeks of term in the infirmary with concussion and severe swelling and bruising to his internal organs due to Draco’s well-aimed curse. As not to arouse suspicion regarding Harry and Snape’s relationship Harry had visited Snape infrequently and only ever on the pretence of visiting Draco. Draco had been released last week however and for the past week Harry had been unable to visit Snape at all. Now though with all the students making their way down to the train bound for home, Harry had snuck a moment alone with the professor.

“Yes you must. Remus said you’re welcome to visit whenever you like after all Draco’s staying all summer.” Snape nodded, already knowing that Draco was staying at Grimmauld place over the summer. While Snape had his families’ manner back, it was in disrepair and Dumbledore had decided that the potions professor needed some time to himself to sort out his affairs without wayward charges making things difficult.

“What does the mangy mutt think to that offer?” Snape inquired after Harry had handed him a small glass of water to wash down his afternoon concoction of potions Madam Pomfrey still had him taking. Harry chose to ignore Snape’s insult of his godfather. Dumbledore had explained to him that night in his office that something’s in the world would never change and Harry supposed that Severus and Sirius conflict was one of those things he would have to just live with.

“Nothing worth repeating.” Harry said coyly as he refilled Snape’s glass of water for him. Snape huffed his own amusement knowing well what Black would have had to say on the subject. “It doesn’t matter anyway I’m offering and that’s all that matters.” Snape raised a cool eyebrow in Harry’s direction but remained silent. Arguing with Harry was fruitless as Snape had discovered over the past 3 weeks and fortunately Snape knew to quit while ahead. “Most of the order will be dropping in all summer I don’t know why you shouldn’t too. Besides we’re having a picnic at Godric’s hollow next week. Bill and Charlie have organized a friendly Quidditch match on the moor with goals and all, and you’ve been made referee.” Snape looked positively horrified his body still groaning in sympathy pains from the last time he’d foolishly agreed to referee a Quidditch match. “Don’t look too worried we’re not out to get you this time, besides Mr Weasley, Sirius and Remus are playing so you’ll not be completely alone out there.” Snape rolled his eyes but remained silent. It did sound like a good day out and it would be nice to fly with his old Quidditch rivals.

“Well I won’t be going anywhere if the wicked medi-witch of the west doesn’t let me out of bed.” Snape snapped irritably throwing a scowl towards the office where Madam Pomfrey usually worked. Harry chuckled and gently reached up to push a stray strand of Snape’s hair from his face and put it back behind his ear. It seemed strange seeing Snape in bed so uncharacteristically content. Without the black swirling robes, the high-necked collars and the stern potion master glare Snape seemed almost normal.

“She’s only making sure you’re well Severus, besides three weeks bed rest has done you good. You don’t look so pasty.” Harry’s hand that had lingered on Snape’s ear tip moved softly down Snape’s cheek the fingertips ending just on the point of the man’s prominent chin.

“I’ve put about a pound and a half on though, damn infernal house elves insist on bringing me more food.” Snape muttered quietly to himself as Harry laid his head down in Snape’s lap the man’s own fingers coming down to softly stroke the unruly curls of the younger man.

“I don’t want to go.” Harry whispered softly as Snape’s fingers trailed up and down the side of his face in gentle strokes. Snape sighed softly and dipped his head down to kiss Harry gently on the lips in comfort.

“Yeah I know but just think of all the fun waiting to be had. This is the first summer you’ll ever have without the threat of Voldemort hanging over your head.” Harry opened his eyes and smiled sadly up at Snape who mirrored his smile with one of his own.

“Fun? I doubt that very much, Sirius will be watching me like a hawk. Remus said Sirius’ has put a charm on my bedroom door so that he’ll know if Draco’s been in or I’ve been out during the night. I even had to put up with him lecturing me about how to properly use a condom.” Harry looked seriously up at Snape who while smiling at the first part of the sentence frowned at the last.

“A condom? What’s that?” Snape was confused as Harry laughed and blushed a slight pink colour. Sitting up from Snape’s lap Harry whispered the definition of the muggle contraceptive device into Snape’s ear chuckling as he saw Snape screw his nose up in disgust.

“That sounds very unhygienic, a simple contraceptive charm does the trick much better.” Harry rolled his eyes at his wizard lover but didn’t comment on Snape’s reply, knowing that most wizards found muggle devices a complete waste of time and effort anyway.

“Have you got everything packed?” Harry changed the subject quickly. Talking about sex related things in a public hospital ward where anyone could walk in was not the best idea. Snape nodded having given the house elves a list of things to pack into what trunks earlier in the week.

“Shouldn’t you be going, or you’ll miss the train?” Snape knew Harry was stalling for time and although he too was reluctant to say goodbye knew it had to come eventually. Harry glanced at the clock over on the far wall and nodded as he stood up from the side of the bed and straightened his robes.

“Will you send me my results?” Harry picked up his small travelling bag, his trunk already on the train no doubt. Snape nodded. “And you’ll come with me to get my apparition licence?” Snape nodded again smiling at Harry’s unwillingness to leave. “And you promised to come to the picnic next week.”

“Yes, Yes and Yes Harry. Now go on, I’ll be fine and it’ll only be a few days before I see you again.” Snape reached up from his bed and put a comforting hand around Harry’s. Harry squeezed the man’s hand back tight and without thought for anyone else that might have been around leaned down and kissed Snape firmly on the lips. The kiss was deep and loving but Snape felt the sadness behind it as Harry finally pulled reluctantly away.

“I love you.” Harry whispered as he forced himself to step away from the bed and towards his awaiting carriage down to the train. Snape nodded understandingly as he folded his own hands in his lap.

“Remember only a week apart that’s all.” Harry nodded in return as he walked to the entrance to the hospital ward. Harry paused and glanced back into the ward at where Severus still sat up in bed.

“You know what? I think that bump to the heads done you some good, the old Snape would have just told me to get the fuck home.” Snape rolled his eyes and stared seriously at his young mate.

“Mr Potter.” Snape warned him dangerously and Harry laughed and nodded again in understanding.

“Okay, okay I’m going but I’m sending Hedwig every day with a letter.” With a cheeky smile Harry left the hospital wing the door swinging closed as the image of the boy disappeared. Snape sighed and laid his head back against his pillow his eyes closing as he memorised the lips pressed against his.

“I love you to.” Snape whispered to no one as he listened to the last of the carriages leaving to take the students home for the summer.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>