Ashes of Armageddon

Chapter 40: Accolade of Hyppogriffs.



The Floo spat him out into a small cabin. For a brief moment Severus thought himself to be at Hagrid\'s place, as the cabin bore a striking resemblance to Hagrid\'s old dwelling at Hogwarts, except, this one was slightly more practical and a great deal more organized. It had a work desk with two chairs next to it, a shelf, lined with books, a fireplace, and a large bed, squeezed into a nook.



A moment later, Severus heard the familiar footsteps behind the cabin door, the door swung open, and then, Harry ran into the cabin and stared at Severus with a ridiculously wide grin on his face. Severus returned his gaze, scrutinizing him thoughtfully. Harry was dressed simply: shorts, sandals, and a light cotton shirt with long sleeves. Everything else, however, was the same: including the the unruly mop of dark hair, and the the green eyes behind the round glasses. All in all, Harry had not changed much since Severus briefly saw him last, half a year ago.



Still staring at Severus, and still smiling, Harry froze in his footsteps, clearly uncertain what to do next. Severus gave him a small nod. Harry walked to him quickly and threw his arms around him. Hesitantly, Severus hugged him back, and for a few minutes they stood locked in embrace, holding on to each other, as if they were old friends, who had suddenly met after spending an eternity apart.



“Good to see you,” Harry said finally. Was that relief in his voice?



“You smell like dead ferrets,” Severus replied, without missing a beat.



Harry sniffed him in turn. “You are the one to talk,” he said gently. “You smell like cat feet.”



Severus freed himself from the young man\'s embrace, took a step back and shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, it is hardly my fault that Nundu claw trimmings are the essential ingredient in Wolfsbane.”



Harry\'s expression turned to surprise.



“How come you are still brewing Wolfsbane? I thought - last year\'s Silver Cross award ... the cure for Lycanthropy...”



Severus shrugged again, doing his best to conceal his disappointment. “Unfortunately, Remusin requires ingredients from species that we have nearly driven to extinction over the last two decades. The formula is sound, but production will be impossible for at least fifteen years.”



“Extinction of an entire species,” Harry muttered. “It\'s the war, isn\'t it?”



Severus nodded reluctantly, not in the mood to talk about it at the moment.



Harry nodded as well, and seeing the look on his face, changed the subject. “I still can\'t believe you named it after Lupin.”



Severus grunted slightly. “Well, what on earth would I name it? Snapeum?”



“Well,” Harry mused, “It is the most significant scientific breakthrough of the last five decades. Or so they say.”



“True,” Severus said smugly. “But if it is all the same, I would rather not have my name associated with a product that smells far worse than cat feet.”



Harry snickered a little. “I still don\'t get it. Why did you decide to use Demiguise urine in the formula, anyway? I mean, it\'s not like it was your only option; the saliva has the same count of transformation pheromones...”



Severus looked at him in astonishment, and then surveyed Harry\'s cabin more thoroughly, his eyes examining the books on Harry\'s shelves. Harry had some books on Magical Creatures, some books on Defense Against Dark Arts, some books on Herbology... and more than a few books on Potions. Severus found his upper lip curling in amusement.



“You\'ve been studying Potions,” Severus said. “After all these years.”



“Not really studying,” Harry muttered defensively. “Just picked up some reference books. I wanted to be able to read your articles without having Hermione explain everything to me. And by the way, even she couldn\'t explain the Demiguise urine.”



“Well,” Severus mused, still slightly stunned by the obvious fact that Harry had been thinking about him, and following his writings. “To answer your question, it is true that Demiguise urine and saliva have the same count of transformation pheromones. However, urine is cheaper to acquire, and easier to store, which makes commercial production more feasible in the long run.”



Harry\'s lips were twitching into a wry smirk. “Want to know what I think?”



Severus scowled at once. “Not particularly.”



“I think you picked urine out of spite. I think you wanted to make sure that Lupin\'s name would be associated with the smell of chameleon piss for years to come. The fact that it is the cure for Lycanthropy that you had developed is just a small bonus.”



Snape found himself matching Harry\'s smirk exactly. “Well,” he said very gently. “That would be a very childish and vindictive thing to do, would it not?”



“Absolutely,” Harry confirmed, taking a step towards him. Harry\'s body was radiating heat, and his breath brushed against Severus\' ear, when Harry said: “It would also be quite funny.”



Severus stared at him in surprise, and then, laughed quietly. Harry, reading Potions manuals, keeping up with his old professor\'s research...Severus wasn\'t sure what he had expected to see when he arrived to Harry\'s workplace, but this certainly was not it.



“Well,” Severus muttered. “Now perhaps you would care to explain the stench of dead rodents that is clinging to you. What on earth are you doing for a living these days?”



Harry smiled wryly. “Let\'s go for a walk,” he offered, walked to the door of the cabin, and opened it.



Severus came up to it and looked outside. A breathtaking scenery unfolded before him. The cabin was situated on top of a hill, and beneath it, an enormous field was stretching out, almost as far as the eye could see. On the horizon, a mountain ridge stood, snowy peaks glittering in the distance with the reflection of the evening sun. Far away, a group of creatures, no more than tiny specks, were littering the meadow. Severus peered ahead, unable to tell what they were.



“Come on,” Harry said, and they stepped outside together.



“You know how different groupings of animals are given different names,” Harry said, as they walked together along the wide, winding path that lead down the hill. “You have the school of fish, gaggle of geese, pride of lions, murder of crows... and so on.”



“Of course,” Severus said impatiently.



Harry grinned. “Let\'s see how well you know them, then,” Harry challenged. “A quiver of...”



“Cobras,” Severus spat, feeling more annoyed than challenged.



“An ostentation of...?”



“Peacocks.”



Harry grinned. “A jubilation of...?”



“Sparrows.”



“An obstinancy of...”



“Buffalo.”



Harry grinned even wider. “Bloody hell. You are a walking encyclopedia. An evasion of..?”



“Demiguise.”



Harry laughed soundlessly. “Last one, then. An accolade of ...”



A dark shadow circled the ground around them, and Severus lifted his eyes, to see a pair of giant feathered wings, the span of them blocking out a large patch of the sky.



“Hyppogriffs,” Severus said absently. “This place is...”



“Hyppogriff colony,” Harry confirmed. “An unplottable island, in the Coral Sea. I am the Gamekeeper.”



Severus glanced at him in astonishment. For the former Minister of Magic, and the (former) Master of the Three Deathly Hallows, to be working in a place like this? It was beautiful, to say the least, and peaceful, but hardly a vocation that held any prestige, or power; and he doubted that it paid well, either.



“Why?” he asked finally.



“It\'s quiet here,” Harry said. “You can hear your own footsteps, and their wings.” A brief shadow ran across Harry\'s face and vanished. “It\'s good for me.”



“Your own penance?” Severus said dryly.



Harry gave him an odd look. “I don\'t believe in penance,” he said quietly. “Just salvation.”



“Oh?”



“They are beautiful creatures. Very wise. Very ancient. They sense duplicity, deceit, cruelty, viciousness. I have no doubt that if any part of Tom is still living in my brain, and decides to re-emerge, one of them will crack my skull open, without hesitating even for a moment.” Harry wrinkled his nose slightly, and smiling, lifted his face to the evening sun. “How could I not love them?”



Severus found himself smiling as well. “That alone leads me to believe Tom is living someplace else right now,” he said.



Together, they walked across the meadow, towards the the creatures.



“Go ahead,” Harry said, placing his hand on Severus\' back and giving him a small nudge. “Say hello, if you like.”



Severus looked at him dubiously. “I do not believe the Hyppogriffs like me, if my experience with Buckbeak is any indication. I wouldn\'t want to end up having to stun one of them...”



“You won\'t have to,” Harry assured him.



“Fine,” Severus said without much enthusiasm, and began walking towards the creatures. Harry followed closely, trailing a few steps behind him.



One of them separated from the group and ran wildly in his direction, flapping its wings. It looked like a storm heading towards him, ready to sweep him away. Severus stopped in his tracks, not even bothering to draw his wand; he merely folded his arms on his chest, and stared.



The creature came to an abrupt stop less than three feet away. Severus could feel the impact of the wind and dust hit him; but the Hyppogriff remained motionless, the bird eyes gazing directly at Severus. Severus stared back – it was quite beautiful, slightly larger than Buckbeak, with much darker wings. And then, before Severus had a chance to move, and offer the obligatory respectful bow, the creature took a step forward, bowing to him.



Severus froze.



To his knowledge, that just never happened.



The Hyppogriff just did not bow to a human, or anyone, first.



He blinked, wondering if he had started hallucinating.



The creature bowed once again, deeply, its beak touching the ground. It then lifted its head and gazed at him, unblinking.



Severus stood numbly, unsure what to do, and then turned to Harry with an apologetic shrug.



“I think you should bow back now,” Harry whispered with an amused smile. “Let him know he did alright.”



“Oh. Of course,” Severus said quietly, and gave the customary bow. The creature another step towards him, and rested its head on his shoulder, the enormous beak pressing against his cheek. In consummate, breathtaking wonder, Severus lifted a trembling hand, and stroked the creature\'s feathers gently, unable to get over the fact that he was petting a Hyppogriff. He stroked the feathers again, and issued a deep breath.



For a few minutes, the creature stood still, soaking in his touch, until eventually, it pulled away and ran off, leaving a trail of dust in its wake.



“What\'s wrong with him?” Severus asked with genuine concern. “Hyppogriffs don\'t do that. Is he sick?”



Harry smiled a little. “He\'s not sick. Nothing is wrong with him. He recognized you, that\'s all.”



“Recognized?” Severus muttered.



“They can sense emotions... and feelings... In a way, I suppose, I\'ve told them about you. They know who you are.”



Severus stopped in his tracks, and looked at the accolade of winged creatures in the distance.



“Harry,” Severus whispered incredulously. “It\'s been three years. You don\'t mean to tell me...” his voice faltered, and he changed his mind about asking the question, wincing uncomfortably.



“Of course I do,” Harry told him. “I always will.”



“Then why haven\'t you...”



“You told me not to,” Harry said quietly. “And I didn\'t think it\'d be a good idea to disrespect your boundaries after all I\'ve done to you. But every morning, I wake up thinking about you. I fall asleep every night, remembering you, and hoping like hell that you have found a way to forget me.”





The evening descended quickly, accompanied by surprisingly cold breeze.



They sat outside, near a firepit in the meadow. Harry started a fire, and inched himself towards it, hugging his knees, staring into the flames.



Severus stretched himself out to lie on his back, in the grass, staring at the dark, star-peppered sky. Harry tried to ask Severus more questions, but Severus evaded them cautiously, preferring to pose questions, rather than answer them, at this point.



“How long are your work days?” Severus asked.



“I spend five days a week here,” Harry said. “Day and night. Go home for two days afterwards.”



“In that case, you can\'t be seeing too much of your wife, and son.”



Harry laughed unhappily. “I see Ginny and Al six times a year, two hours at a time. Halloween, Christmas, Easter, my birthday, Hugo\'s birthday, and Al\'s birthday. That\'s all. Twelve hours a year. Her home is still protected by Fidelius Charm. And she has full custody and guardianship of Al.\'”



“It seems rather excessive,” Severus mused. “I am sorry.”



“Don\'t be,” Harry said quietly. “It\'s for the best.”



“I am surprised to hear you say that. Three years ago, after the crisis had passed, you seemed very excited when you learned she was returning.”



“I was,” Harry admitted. “More than anything, I was happy for the chance to ask her forgiveness in person. But even without her own fears and reservations, I already knew we could never be together.”



“And why on earth not?”



“I honestly don\'t know how to say this without unsettling you.”



Severus sat up and glanced at him quizzically, then nodded to him to continue.



“I guess the bottom line is, if I ever were to be with someone again, after all that had happened, it\'d have to be with someone like you.”



“Someone like me,” Severus repeated, a little incredulously. “Someone old? Male? Hideous? Irritating? Mentally unstable?”



Harry snorted under his breath. “All of those are excellent characteristics,” he said wryly. “But no, that\'s not what I mean. If I were to be with someone, it\'d have to be someone who knows how to find his way in the dark. Someone who wouldn\'t just love me, and do nothing, if things went wrong again.”



Harry paused slightly, picked up a few pieces of wood from the ground and tossed them into the fire. Speechless, Severus watched him, listening.



“ Once again, I don\'t know how to say it, without sounding like a heartless, cruel bastard... but ... Ginny? No.” Harry said calmly. “She grew up with six older brothers watching over her. She needs a man who will be her hero. At the end of the day, she wants someone who will chase the monsters from under her bed, and check her closets for boogeymen.” A small bitter smiled crossed Harry\'s lips and disappeared. “I could never be that for her. At best, I would be hoping not to become the monster under her bed.”



Harry finished feeding the fire, and stretched out on the ground, plopping down carelessly with his face by Severus\' feet.



Severus watched him thoughtfully, both mesmerized and unnerved by the mere physical proximity to the young man. Something had changed, and the lonely void within began to fill with something unfamiliar, and terrifyingly nostalgic. Soon enough, an odd pang of guilt appeared, over having this moment all to himself, at the cost to someone else.



“Do you miss your son?” Severus asked.



“Yes. Very much,” Harry admitted freely. “But it\'s better this way. I didn\'t count on her allowing me to see him, after all that I have done, but I am grateful that she does.”



“Do you still miss her?” Severus asked suddenly, surprising himself. But Harry\'s response surprised him even more. Severus felt Harry\'s hand lace around his ankle, and his face press to his boot – not in subservience, or even apology, but simply as if his foot was the softest thing in the world to lean against.



“I don\'t know if I miss her,” Harry whispered, holding on to him. “I\'ve missed you so much, that I really can\'t tell.”



...To Be Continued...