Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 11

September 12 –continued

I’m going to be completely honest: I don’t even know the full meaning of what I said. The reactions I got from the other three, however, made the whole thing seem not only more confusing but ultimately absurd.

“WHAT?” Potter exclaimed, likely under the impression that I was lying.

“You …you gave up being a pure-blood?” Weasel asked. He looked as though he couldn’t imagine how that would change a person.

“Does… does that mean you can’t do magic? Are you a half-blood now?” Granger rambled on with question after question. I rolled my eyes as she seemed far more excited about the new possibilities of what this could mean, rather than worrying about me.

To shut them all up about something, I lifted my wand and wordlessly cast a silencing spell on her. When she realized that she was moving her mouth but nothing was coming out (which took a surprisingly long time, considering) she froze and stared at me. They all did.

I shrugged and shook my head.

“I didn’t say anything about magic being attached to blood purity,” I remarked. “Magic stems mostly from the soul, remember? Otherwise how could Granger do the things she does?”

I lifted the silencing spell and shuddered a bit. I was trying to shake off this strange feeling…yet it was something I knew wouldn’t go away. Something I still carry now and I can’t understand it. What confuses me most is that I don’t feel incomplete…I don’t feel like I’m missing something at all… I just feel like something has changed. Like I’ve replaced one thing with another…. Still the same person… but different.

……………Definitely less eloquent with my words anyway.

I brushed off the clothes I was wearing and tried to straighten up. My strength and balance was coming back quickly. In fact… I almost felt as though this was the first time I could really stand since before I could remember… the first time I felt completely in control of myself and my powers…

Odd.

“So… then what happens now?” Potter asked quietly, unsure of exactly what was going on. I stared at him.

“I’m going back to my room now, I need to realign myself,” I replied rather dryly. He didn’t seem happy.

“I mean about your vaults,” he snapped. I stared at him some more.

“What about them?” I blinked.

“Well you need blood proof to open them,” he explained as though beginning to think I’d given up my brain instead of my blood. “Will this change how that works? Does it mean you can’t get into them anymore?”

………

I hadn’t thought of that.

Fuck.

“I know what I’m doing, Potter,” I lied. “Don’t you worry your scarred head about that. I’m going to go sit down for a while.”

“Wait,” Potter said suddenly, a strange look on his face. I cocked a brow. “You forgot this.”

He handed me the locket, now free of any piece of Voldemort’s soul. I gaped.

“Why are you giving this to me?” There was something wrong with this.

“Because it’s yours… You had it and you gave it to me to destroy, but you destroyed it. You should keep it… I mean if you want it,” he shrugged. I swallowed and let my eyes rove over the little grooves and jewels on the face of Slytherin’s locket. I felt drawn to it… more now than before. It was the last thing my mother truly gave to me. It was supposed to be my saving grace…and even before that it came from my uncle Regulus…in truth it was the very last link that I had to my family at all… especially after having given up my blood title.

So I took it. I took it and put it in my pocket. I nodded to Potter and left the room.

So many strange things… so much still unexplained and so much more to go through before anything really comes together. I don’t know how this is going to end… I don’t know if what I’ve done, if what I’ve sacrificed is going to be more of a nuisance than a help but I feel like it was right. I feel it… deep down in my bones and what’s left of my blood… in my soul, I feel it’s right.

I don’t know what has happened exactly but I feel alive again. I feel more like myself than I have in years… possibly ever in my life and maybe…maybe I actually got something positive out of destroying a piece of someone’s soul… that sounds terrible.

But it was Voldemort’s soul. Not just someone. Voldemort.

But something else is nagging at me… something not right. About Potter… something about the way he was acting…

I’m afraid I know what’s ‘wrong’ about all that but I don’t want to say it…

I can’t believe it because if I do I know I’ll just fall hard again and I won’t let that happen… not when I feel this good again.

*********
Friday, September 13 -3 a.m.

If possible, things have become even more fucked up than before. Pardon my French.

Oh who am I kidding?

Anyway… yesterday was… after the horcrux thing… God… how do I put this all into words?

I suppose the same way I always do…

I wanted to spend the rest of the day alone in my room, thinking everything over. I felt like I’d given up every powerful aspect of who I am in one giant swoop… EVERYTHING. But as I sat an thought…I realized that these are not the only things that make me who I am…

I am not simply a pure-blood with a superiority complex. I’m not just a bully, I’m not just a Slytherin, just a Death-Eater’s son, just the spoiled rich kid, just a snob… I’m not just the ass that made Potter’s life a living hell, nor am I simply the selfless and broken man that gave up everything he had to try and save the world… to try and help to save the world. To try and win the heart of the only man he loved…

I’m not just one of these things… I’m all of them. I realized that I’ve never even thought much more of myself…I said it but I didn’t believe it.

I’m rather happy that I gave up what I did to destroy the horcrux… it’s released me in a way that I don’t think anything else could have.

I feel free… for a while anyway…

But as I was thinking and mulling over all these things, trying to put everything into perspective and come to terms with everything, Potter came in.

It was late… or later than I would have expected him to come into my room… ever.

Anyway, he slipped inside, then turned his back to me to close the door. He muttered something there that I couldn’t here and turned around to face me.

“You don’t knock?” I sneered, looking at him. “Oh I forgot; it’s YOUR house, my mistake.”

He looked at me and our eyes met and I nearly fainted. There was something terribly different about this expression… his eyes were smoldering with desire and mischief and there was a slight but definite pout on his lips. He leaned casually back against the door, ignoring my comment.

…It frustrates me to admit this but if there was one thing that I could spend the rest of my life looking at, it would be that face.

My heart sped up and I swallowed hard, trying not to lose my resolve. I clenched my jaw and grimaced slightly.

“I’ve been thinking…” he said and then nothing more.

“Did it hurt?” I asked with a more pronounced sneer. I couldn’t help it! He left it right open!

“Maybe you want to hear what I have to say,” he replied smoothly.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because I know you do,” he said, a small smirk drawing up the corners of his mouth. I ran my tongue against the inside of my teeth.

“Alright, Potter,” I conceded. “If you are so proud of your hard work, tell us, what have you been thinking??” There wasn’t any lack of mocking tone in my voice but he did not seem to notice at all.

“I’ve been thinking that maybe,” he paused, apparently to look nonchalant. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks… Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe I am really attracted to you and don’t care about what that might make me.”

I stared. I do that a lot. But it wasn’t in shock. It was almost boredom.

“That’s a lot of ‘maybes’,” I told him. I got to my feet.

“Not so much a ‘maybe’ as it is an ‘I’m sure’,” he explained, the same sultry look never leaving his face. I felt hot and I tried to shake it off but it wouldn’t go.

“Congratulations then, Potter,” I spat, unimpressed. His face shifted slightly at my indifference.

“What? That’s it?” he demanded, confused. I shook my head and let out a short and humourless laugh.

“Oh I see,” I muttered, nodding my head. “You thought that you could just walk right in here, tell me that confounding mess of things and then what? What do you want me to do?” I started to walk towards him slowly, my eyes set like a predator on its prey. “What, Potter? Do you want me to push you up against the wall again? Do you want me to press my body to yours and steal another kiss? Or do you want more? Do you want me to throw you onto the bed and pin you there? To strip you and feel every part of you, forcing you to feel every part of me in turn? Do you want me to push you over the edge, to make you feel so good that everything else doesn’t matter anymore? To make you scream my name and go crazy with the feeling? Is that what you wanted Potter?”

At this point I was standing so close to him that I could feel the heat from his body and my mouth was only millimeters from his ear. I could see the little hairs on his neck raise as I spoke and let my breath ghost across his skin. I could almost hear his heart beat. His eyes widened with every word. He looked scared. He looked afraid and confused but his voice said differently.

“Yes,” he answered huskily, hesitating as he tried to lean forwards to close the distance between us, but I didn’t let him.

I fought hard to keep my resolve. I tried my best…keeping in mind that the operative word here is ‘tried’.

I pulled away and left him standing there, wanting and uncomfortable, just as he has left me so many times.

“Too bad, Potter,” I snapped, shrugging and walking away. “You’re too late and I grow tired of your indecision.”

“What?!” he screamed angrily. “Did I not just tell you what I want??”

“You don’t know what it is you really want,” I answered coolly, feeling little needles prickle into my heart with every word.

“You’re a bloody prat,” he shot, heatedly. “I know what I want, and I just TOLD you!”

“After what? I just handed every piece of myself over to you as a sacrifice?!” I threw back, trying not to let my anger get the better of me. “It isn’t me you want, Potter. You want that precious little man who has given so much up for you! That’s only one small part of me, Potter! And you can never want every part of me! You never have and never will.”

“What do you know of me that makes you want me?!” he hollered, stepping up to me. “How many sides of me have you seen and how can you want all of them??”

“I’ve seen you when you hated me, I’ve seen you when you tried to kill me and I’ve seen you when you brought me cake,” I hissed. “And I’ve wanted you through it all. You only want me because I did something for you. Don’t fucking play me like a fool!”

“You are a fucking bastard!” Potter hollered. He suddenly lunged in and his fist was flying at me but I moved and it flew right by my face. I whipped my arm up and grabbed his arm, then threw him at the bed while he was off-balance.

He tumbled over onto the mattress and I leapt onto him, pinning him flat on his back, his arms over his head. I straddled him and gave him a malevolent smirk.

“YES I AM!” I screamed back, leaning close to his face. “And that’s all still me! Do you want that, Potter? Do you want the fucking bastard that has tried to get you expelled? The bully that made your friends lives hell… the arrogant git… name them all, it’s still me!!” I hissed and pressed my lips against his angry mouth. I forced his mouth open and sucked on his tongue, biting down hard as I did. “The question is, could you ever want him too?”

“Sod off!!” he yelled back, through a scream of pain at having bitten his tongue. He struggled against me but I didn’t let him. I pushed down harder and slid my legs apart so that our hips were pressed together.

“Ohh, but this is what you wanted, isn’t it Potter??” I spat back, my tone full of malice and sarcasm. I rocked into his hips and rubbed hard against him. He let out a strangled groan and his eyes fluttered for a moment from the touch.

“Nghh…no…” he mumbled breathily. He was shaking and his face was turning red. I shifted his arms so that I could hold both there with one hand and slipped the other under his shirt.

My fingertips roamed over the soft skin of his chest until they rested on one of his nipples. I pinched it hard and thrust up against him even harder. He opened his mouth, possibly to moan, and I covered it with my own, forcing him into another almost painful kiss.

My mind was racing and I had gone wild. All resolve and self-control was lost in those intensely powerful sensations… just the heat of him against me as I pushed against him and forced him to feel me like he thought he wanted to. I didn’t think of what it could mean… I didn’t want to… I still don’t.

“See, Potter?” I said silkily. “You don’t know what you want… you keep changing your mind, and I’m sick of it.”

I brought my hand down his stomach again and unbuckled his belt, then his trousers and pulled them away from him as far as I could. He moaned and gasped into the kiss and I pulled away from his lips for a moment.

“Don’t!” he said suddenly, turning even redder. I shook my head with a smirk.

“Now see I just don’t know which side of you to believe,” I shrugged, running my tongue along the length of his jaw and letting my fingers trail a soft line down his length. He was… so hard… I fought back a moan, myself, as I continued to tease him.

“Ahh, please…” he whispered, suddenly giving up his fight… or at least sort of. He was tense and shaking but his arms weren’t desperately trying to pull free.

“You know you don’t want this version of me,” I hissed into his ear, letting my fingers wrap solidly around his shaft. “Just tell me once and for all… admit it.”

“I d…do wan…want…” he stuttered, trying to get his mouth to work as I tugged hard on his pride.

I took both my hands away from him and pulled off his shirt, before pressing back down against him as hard as I could. One or both of us will have bruises from this…

He didn’t lie limp, mind you… he brought his arms up quickly and I flinched as they touched me but he just pulled my own shirt over my head, his face angry and determined.

“Fine, Potter,” I spat. “Have it your way.” I kissed him again and began to undo my trousers. I pushed them down a bit and tried to leave a bit of space between us. I brought one of my hands down to his shaft again but this time wrapped my fingers about both mine and his… and moved up and down, stroking them hard together.

“Ohhh god…” Potter moaned, his hands dropping to his sides to fist the sheets. I smirked and shook my head again, before leaning over to whisper in his ear again.

“There are no gods here, love, just demons with angel faces.”

He gasped and then did something I didn’t expect. His hand snaked it’s way down to where I was holding our erections and he wrapped his fingers around us both as well… and pumped in time with me…

His fingers were strong and warm against my sensitive skin… I couldn’t stop myself from moaning… I wanted to tell him, to call out his name and let him know how much I wanted this… how much I felt, but I couldn’t. I knew it wasn’t real… wasn’t supposed to be that way… and it would just end badly, but I couldn’t do anything about it at the time… I can’t now either…

“Ahh, yesss…” he finally groaned, breathing heavily and hard. He pulled me down to him but I didn’t let him have my lips. I bit his lower lip and moved my head so that I could scrape my teeth across his neck and suck on his shoulder long enough to leave a mark.

I smirked and pulled away from him. It was a dark expression and promised nothing good, but as he watched me in confusion and snaked my way down his body, running my tongue along his chest and stomach as I did before taking his shaft in my hand and giving him an even darker, seductive glare.

“W–” but he didn’t finish. I kissed the head of his pride and then carefully sucked on strategic spots along the shaft. After having teased him fully, I took a deep breath and wrapped my mouth around his erection, running my tongue flat over the soft skin…

He moaned and screamed and bucked and I shut my eyes, trying to get used to the feeling and the taste… I was surprised… he tasted so good… I moved further down, taking more of him into my mouth and sucked as best I could, running my fingers over the base and the…er bulge…beneath it.

You’d think I would be past the discomfort with words by now.

“Ahh nn--… stop!” he cried, his fingers suddenly buried in my hair. I angled my head up and looked into his eyes. He didn’t try to stop me again. His eyelids were half-closed and his mouth was hanging wantonly. I laughed (if you can call it that) and continued to suck hard, swirling my tongue over whatever skin I could reach. I knew he was close and I had this inexplicable urge to bring him over like this… so I could taste him and drink him… and…

And then I felt him tense and rush… and then…

“Ah DRACO!” he screamed, suddenly exploding into my mouth. I pulled back a bit after almost gagging and swallowed everything I could. The whole experience… him screaming my name the way he did and tugging hard at my hair, pushing my head down… I couldn’t hold on any longer either. I shut my eyes and hit my climax too…

Then I pulled away from him, some of the sticky liquid running down the side of my mouth. I brushed it away with my hand and stared at him.

Potter was shaking and panting, watching me with wide eyes. He was sweaty and hot and still pinned beneath me and I had no intention of moving… but I rolled over and let him free. He laid there a moment, still breathing heavily and staring up at the canopy of the bed.

“This would be your cue to scurry off in disgust,” I pointed out listlessly.

He got up and fixed his trousers.

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: OMG DID IT HAPPEN? Hahahhhhhhhhhhhh T_T

No I promise you it’s not that easy.

Ok, first off, I want you to know that this chapter was not done as a response to the questions you all have asked. I had planned to write it this way before; your questions were just all very well placed. And no, I didn’t explain much of it here, but I will.. what you need to know is that Draco doesn’t even understand it either…so as he learns about exactly what happened and what has changed in him, so will you :)

But there are some things I will tell you right now… for both this fic and future reference… There are some things that I just WILL NOT write for Draco:
-I will never take away his magical power or snap his wand. Not permanently if at all
-I will not write mpreg… though that’s general. It’s not that I have anything against it at all, I just don’t write it myself. I could never explain it adequately and I wouldn’t pull it off well
-I will never permanently disfigure Draco… I won’t amputate any limbs, nor would I permanently scar him (in a bad way without good reason) and I would never touch his face… nor his hair. He is pretty and he will stay that way
-I won’t write a stupid Draco… to me he’s just not stupid. He’s smart but does stupid things sometimes. It’s very different.

These are just so that you know… things that I can give away that don’t affect the story or anything. I have too much love for his character to do something so terrible as take away his magic. I cannot do that. It would kill me to do it…. I just love him so! :) I hope that clears a few things up! I will explain everything about the vaults in time… in the meantime I’m trying to arrange the next parts of the fic so that they fit and flow and don’t sound absolutely psychotic lol

I hope you liked it! And YES, about Harry and Draco’s relationship and Harry being the kind of person who wouldn’t just take it without giving it too, I’ll explain and make things understandable. In time you will seeeeee ^_^

I love all your wonderful reviews and all of you! You made me feel better and I hope the last chapter wasn’t too confusing or worrisome! Cookies and love and hugs! Oooh and smut! hahahah