The Bird Having Flown

A/N This chapter is where the story differs from the original.

Chapter four...

A crash of thunder woke Starr a few hours later. She listened to the wind and rain
against the windows, trying to fall back asleep. Hopeless. She was thirsty. She
moved Lucius heavy arms from around her and became aware of another body in the
bed, behind her. She reached out a hand. Narcissa! The physical and emotional
abuse of the previous evening came crashing back and she jumped from the bed
without waking either of her sleeping bed partners. She padded over to the jug of
fresh water that was always left on the small table and poured herself a glass, glancing
back over at the bed whilst drinking it. She was surprised at the amount of hatred she
felt toward Narcissa. Hatred for making her respond, for making her do it, for making
her enjoy it. Hatred toward Lucius, not as violent, for allowing it to happen.
Something someone said the previous afternoon drifted back into her subconscious.
Snape. What had he said? ‘She’ll never divorce him’ and Draco. ‘She’s still his
wife. She likes that.’ What a hopeless situation. Desperately in love with a man
she’d never have only for herself.
Her eyes fell on Lucius’ knife. He’d left it on a bedside table after he’d cut the laces
of Narcissa’s corselet. She picked it up, feeling it’s comfortable weight in her hands,
it’s smoothness. She ran her thumb along the blade, watching the thin red line
emerge on her skin. It didn’t even hurt. A drop of blood fell on the pillow near
Narcissa’s head and she stuck her thumb in her mouth, licking the cut, tasting her own
blood. She smiled as she imagined Narcissa waking up and seeing her, standing over
her with a knife in her hand. Suddenly, she had power. Why not? It would be what
the bitch deserved, using her like a common whore.
“I don’t think that’s advisable.” Lucius’ sleepy drawl came from the other side of the
bed. The candle on the bedside table lit, bathing the immediate area with a soft light.
Lucius sat up and held his hand out. “Give me the knife.”
“No.”
He smiled and shook his head. She looked like an Amazon, the candlelight
accentuating the shadowy curves and planes of her body and her hair, gold, falling in
a jumble of curls around her shoulders. The blade of the kniaughaught the light as she
moved. “Well...are you going to slit her throat, or not?”
Starr shivered and walked around to Lucius’ side of the bed. She put his black silk
shirt on and wrapped it around herself. “Why didn’t you stop it from happening?”
He shrugged. “Why should I?”
She threw the knife, embedding it in the floor, the blade piercing the carpet. “Damn
you!” she ran from the room and down the stairs, not stopping until she found herself
in the formal lounge room. She poured herself a glass of Scotch, determined this time
that she’d finish it, and sat on the floor in front of the fire.
“I thought you’d gone to bed.”
“Are you checking up on me?” she turned to face Snape, watching him walk over to
her and settle himself in the chair near where she was sitting. “I couldn’t sleep.”
He watched her sipping the Scotch. She looked tired. There was a scratch on her
cheek and plenty of bites visible on her neck. As the cuff of the shirt fell back he
noticed the bruises and abrasions on the soft skin of her wrists. He took her hand and
studied her wrist a bit closer. It was obvious she’d been tied up - hell, Lucius
probably tied her up all the time, control freak that he is - but he didn’t think she’d
put up that much of a fight under usual circumstances. “What happened?”
She shook her head and looked up at him. “I want to leave here.”
Silence. Just the fire crackling. “For good?” Snape asked eventually.
Starr nodded. “Now.”
He closed his eyes. He’d been hoping he’d be able to persuade her to leave Lucius
since he’d discovered she was there earlier in the afternoon. When she’d told him she
was pregnant and that she loved Lucius he’d given up all hope of ever getting her out
of his clutches, and here she was asking him to take her away. What had happened
the previous evening? “If I take you away from here, I’m not bringing you back when
you change your mind.” Dark eyes held hers, hoping she knew what she was asking
him to do. Lucius would be furious when he found her gone.
Starr shrugged. “I won’t.” She stood. “I want to go...now. Before he comes looking
for me.”
“You can’t apparate by yourself yet, can you?”
“I don’t like apparating. It makes me dizzy.”
Snape laughed mirthlessly. “It’s the only way we’re getting out of here quickly.”
A deep breath. “Okay then.” She slid the shirt off one shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t want him to know where I am. If I have his shirt, he can trace me.” She
dropped the shirt on the floor, standing before Snape totally naked.
Oh God. Not only was Snape helping Lucius’ now reluctant mistress to escape, but
he’d know she was naked when she left. Snape was in no hurry for Lucius to find
Starr either. He was no coward but that didn’t mean he wanted to face Lucius’ wrath
when he discovered the circumstances of her disappearance. He looked at the naked
girl, frowning at the bites and scratches that marred her body, and wrapped his cloak
around her, holding her close to him. He’d ask her about the injuries again later.
Starr heard the soft words being spoken that would end her time with Lucius and
closed her eyes to hold back the tears. Whether she loved him or not no longer
mattered. Snape was right. He’d never marry her. And she knew, deep down, that
he’d never claim an illegitimate child either. If she kept telling herself this, she’d
soon begin to dislike him enough for it not to hurt anymore. Don’t forget, she told
herself, how he let his wife rape you.

She knew they’d arrived at their destination because her head was spinning. She
clung to Snape’s shirt until her equilibrium returned. “Where are we?” She opened
her eyes and looked around tentatively.
“My home. Accio.” A soft woollen blanket sailed into his hands and he placed it
gently around her shoulders. She let go of him and held the blanket close around her.
“Sit down.” He indicated the bed - his bed. It was the only one in the rambling, many
roomed mansion that was made up...he didn’t often entertain overnight guests. “Stay
here. I’ll get a house-elf to prepare a room for you.” He left the room without
looking at her again. He didn’t want to imagine Starr on or in his bed, it was bad
enough having her in his house.
Starr looked around the room again. It gave no clues as to the private life of the man
who occupied it. She spotted a book on the bedside table and lay across the bed to
see what type of novel Professor Severus Snape read. She laughed when she picked it
up and flicked through it. A potions book. She wondered if he ever relaxed, had
lovers, enjoyed himself. She closed her eyes, wondering how many women had slept
in this bed. What type of woman were they...what type of woman impressed a man
like Snape? She half wished it was a woman like her, but he’d made it clear he
thought she was a child, and a stupid one at that. She felt herself drifting and was
powerless to stop sleep claiming her shortly thereafter.
Snape removed the book from her hand and placed it back on the table. She stirred
slightly and rolled over, a long leg escaping from the covering of the blanket. Snape
exhaled and forced himself to pick the girl up and carry her to the room next door to
his, where he lay her on the cold sheets, pulling the blankets over her. She mumbled
something and woke up, clearly not recognising her surroundings. “Lucius...?”
“No. You’re in my home.” Snape’s voice was smooth and quiet.
Awake now, she nodded and snuggled down in the bed. “Thankyou.”
He nodded, allowing himself a small smile. “My room is right next door...if you need
anything. Sleep now, you’re safe here.”
Back in his own bedroom, Snape wondered what he was going to do with Starr, where
he was going to find clothes for her. He changed into some pyjamas and sank
gratefully into bed. For someone who had a reputation as an absolute bastard he
wondered how he had managed to get himself into such a situation. This was what
happened when you cared about someone and wanted to help them.
Twenty-five minutes later, Snape heard his bedroom door open. He opened one eye
slowly, knowing what he’d see - a distinctly feminine shape silhouetted in the
doorway. He sighed. “What’s the matter Starr?”
“I...um...can’t sleep...” her voice was soft, unsure of what she was doing. “...by
myself.”
Snape closed his eyes. Did she know what she was asking? He sat up and folded the
corner of the blankets back. “Come here.” His tone was resigned. This was the only
way either of them would get any sleep in what was left of the night.
She slid gracefully into the bed and curled up with her back to him. “Thankyou.”
Snape grunted a reply knowing she wouldn’t hear it anyway. Her rhythmic breathing
told him she was already asleep. This just got better and better. He now had Lucius
Malfoy’s runaway mistress naked and asleep in his bed. He’d deal with it in the
morning and get some sleep now. The wards in place around the mansion would stop
anyone from entering.
When Snape awoke several hours later the mid morning sun was trying vainly to
penetrate the heavy curtains at the windows. He stretched, feeling refreshed, his hand
coming into contact with a warm body next to him. He remembered with a jolt Starr
joining him in bed late last night...or was it early this morning. Whichever it was, she
was way to close to him now. He drew his hand back and she mumbled something
unintelligible as she threw her arm across his chest and snuggled into him. He tried to
remove the arm from across him, but she gripped his pyjama shirt.
“No...want...”
Want what? he wondered and shook her gently to wake her.
Starr struggled to open her eyes. Why was Lucius waking her up? He didn’t usually
bother, just letting her wake up while he was fucking her. She blinked. Twice. Not
Lucius but Severus. Then she remembered. “Oh...Morning Severus.” her voice had
a sultry early morning quality to it. She didn’t move her arm or herself, seeming to
enjoy the contact between them.
Snape tried again to move her arm. As much as he would like to, he didn’t need to
add sex to the list of misdemeanours he was committing with Starr. She looked
disappointed. “Don’t you like girls?”
“Don’t ask stupid questions.”
She undid the buttons of his pyjama shirt with one hand, watching him closely.
“Then why...? Don’t you like me?”
Snape smiled. Of course he liked her, wanted her. But he wanted to ensure she knew
she was with him...not Malfoy. So far, she’d thoushe she was still with Lucius twice,
both times just after waking. Her warm hand was inching under the open shirt. He
closed his eyes, knowing she was still watching him, tempted to see how far she’d go
in her seduction attempt. It would be so easy to give in to her allure. His hand caught
her wrist, none too gently and she yelped, whether in pain or surprise he couldn’t tell.
Probably pain. He’d forgotten the rope burns.
“This can’t be the first time he’s hurt you. Why did you want to leave?”
Starr closed her eyes. He’d probably tell her she deserved what had happened to her,
but he deserved to know what was going on. “He...um... Lucius...” her voice caught
on the name. “...let her...rape me.” her eyes filled with tears. “He was there, but he
let her do whatever she wanted...” She sniffed and swiped the tears away impatiently.
Snape swore softly. It was the first time she had ever heard him use those words.
Snape had seen Narcissa at play, at a party ten years previously. She may have
matured, but he doubted that her games had mellowed. It served Lucius right that
he’d lost Starr, if that was how he was going to treat her. He pushed Starr away from
him gently and left the bed, turning away from her beeredered gaze. “Stay here. Get
some more sleep, you look like you need it...” he shrugged. “I won’t be long.” He
went into the bathroom, emerging fifteen minutes later, properly dressed, to find Starr
asleep. Good. She looked like she could sleep for a week, and he was determined to
give her the opportunity to do just that if she wanted to. He left the room,
soundlessly.

“No!” Starr’s own shout woke her. Her father and Remus were dragging her away
from Lucius. He was laughing and had his wand out, pointed at her father. Now that
she was awake, the dream blurred. She wasn’t sure if she had been yelling at her
father or at Lucius. Leaving the warmth of the bed, she made her way to the
bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face and ran her fingers through her
tangled mass of hair, studying her reflection in the mirror. Snape was right, she
looked tired. Too bad, she didn’t want to sleep any more...didn’t want to dream.
Returning to the bedroom, she proceeded to rifle through the drawers, looking for
something she could wear. A silk pyjama shirt was the first suitable thing that she
found. It was green - Slytherin green - and way too big for her, but it covered her
nudity and - she looked in the mirror - still managed to look sexy, leaving a lot of leg
exposed. There was no way the trousers would fit her.
Starr left the bedroom and wandered downstairs. “If the mistress would like to follow
Dally, the master instructed me to make you something to eat.” A house elf appeared
and lead her into the didning room.
“Um...I’m not really hungry. Can I just have a coffee please.” Starr took a seat at the
large dining table.
“Master told Dally to make sure the mistress eats.”
Starr knew enough about house elves to realise that no matter what she said she’d be
getting food. She sighed resignedly. “Okay, but I’m not your mistress.” In the year
that she’d lived with Lucius, not one of the house elves had ever addressed her as
mistress.
“Master told Dally to treat you as if you are.” He scampered off to get her a cup of
coffee and some toast, leaving Starr to ponder the workings of Snape’s mind. Now
that she’d had some sleep she realised that she’d put him in a difficult situation. He
should be angry at her, not giving her the run of his home and allowing his house
elves to call her mistress.
Dally returned with a cup of coffee and a plate of buttered toast, which he placed in
front of Starr. She drank a mouthful of coffee gratefully and picked up the toast,
taking a small bite, so that Dally would go away. She got the impression that he’d
relay everything she did or didn’t do to Snape, especially if it contradicted his
instructions. She finished her coffee and, making sure Dally was gone, left the dining
room to explore the rest of the house. The first door she tried to open was locked, as
were many more after that. She wished she had her wand. Unlocking doors was a
simple spell and her curious nature, the one that invariably landed her in the most
trouble, desperately wanted to know what was behind those doors. Looking around
her and assessing her surroundings, she guessed that there wasn’t much difference
between the size of the Malfoy and Snape fortunes. But while the Malfoy’s mansion
was luxuriously appointed, Snape’s seemed sparse and dark with only the rooms he
used frequently being habitable. A door knob twisted when she tried it. At last.
Candles flickered and lit when she entered the room and she discovered it was the
library. She prowled around the room happily, scanning the shelves for something
interesting that she could read. Most of the books were reference books. Potions,
dark magic ( she was sure some of those ones were banned ), history... there had to be
some fiction somewhere. Poetry - no, she wanted a novel. A few more minutes of
searching still didn’t reveal any novels, so she selected an ornate, leather bound book
of poems by someone she’d never heard of and curled up in a huge chair by the fire.
“I didn’t expect to find you in this room.” Snape’s voice from the doorway startled
her. He walked over to her and lifted the book from her hands. “Poetry...” his
eyebrows raised. “You are full of surprises.”
Starr smiled lazily up at him. “For a start, no other rooms were unlocked and, believe
it or not, I like reading.he ghe grimaced. “Just not poetry...not really.”
Snape shut the book and replaced it on the shelf. “I must admit, I’m surprised you
weren’t reading about the dark arts.”
She shrugged. “I couldn’t be bothered. I was looking for something a bit lighter, like
a novel.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,t tit time I go shopping for you.” Snape dropped a paper
carry bag on the floor between them. “Some clothing.” his eyes flicked over her,
noticing how comfortable she seemed, wearing only his pyjama shirt. No doubt
Lucius liked to keep her clothing to a minimum.
Starr pulled three pairs of silk bikini briefs out of the bag. “Silk, Severus?”
He scowled at her. “Yes, silk. It feels a lot nicer than cotton.”
She looked up at him, a smile playing on her lips and eyes wide. “Mmmmm, for
who?” A pair of soft black cotton trousers came out of the bag next, followed by a
matching t-shirt. “Thankyou.” she stood and stepped into a pair of the briefs, then
took the shirt off, handing it to Snape, who turned away from her. She laughed softly
and continued to dress. “Does my body offend you?”
“Not at all. I just don’t need you as an added complication right now.”
Complication to what, Starr wondered silently as she pulled the drawstring on the
trousers tighter and tied it in a knot. “I’m dressed now.”
Snape turned around and mentally berated himself with regards to his choice of
clothing for her. The tousers, while fitting her perfectly, sat low on her hips and the
t-shirt didn’t meet them, leaving a smooth strip of bare midriff visible. The tight
t-shirt accentuated her breasts, making Snape suppress the urge to take her into his
arms, wanting to feel her body against him again. He hadn’t thought too much about
what he was buying, just needing to find something quickly before anyone had
noticed him purchasing women’s clothing.
Starr smoothed the material over her hips unnecessarily. “Black...” she mused.
“Lucius never let me wear black...usually purple or green, and only ever silk...” a soft
laugh. “And never trousers.”
Snape’s eyes darkened at her casual use af Lucius’ name. “What are you going to
do?” he asked, to change the subject. “Go back home?”
“Are you trying to get rid of me already?” she gave him a cheeky smile. “No, I
thought I’d...er...” What? She didn’t want to go home. Hetherther was never there
anyway. She’d be alone most of the time, and that was one thing she didn’t like. She
knew if Snape made her go home, she’d be back with Lucius within the week. What
else could she do? Stay where she was? Nice idea, but when school resumed, Snape
wouldn’t be here. Then it hit her. “I’ll go back to school, finish the year I missed.
I’ll only be a year behind.”
Snape took a deep breath. “Starr, you are due to have a baby, probably early in the
New Year.” He explained patiently, as if to a small child or someone of limited
intelligence. Starr wondered which he thought she was. “Or had you forgotten that
dilemma?”
Her hand automatically went to her belly. Lucius’ baby. She hadn’t forgotten, but
she realised she had been trying to ignore it. She shrugged. “I’m only pregnant. I
can still study. I’ll still be able to sit the exams.”
He seriously doubted that. Once the baby was born, she’d have no interest in studying examexams. Going back to school was just something to do to kill time...so she didn’t
have to go home. He remembered Professor McGonagall telling him that Starr
wanted to be an auror when she left school. He’d been sceptical then that she’d have
the aptitude for that career choice, and was even more so now. “Do you still want to
be an auror?”
She shook her head and smiled sadly. “No, I’m not nearly smart enough. All I want
is to finish school and perhaps get a couple of N.E.W.Ts. That’ll make getting a job a
little easier.”
“A job doing what?”
“I don’t know.” She was getting annoyed with his questioning. She hadn’t thought
that far ahead. Yesterday she’d been Lucius Malfoy’s mistress - looked after and
wanting for nothing...except perhapeedoeedom. Now she was free, but she was also
pregnant and single. She really only needed to work to be independent. The Blacks
were an affluent wizarding family and Sirius, being the only son, had inherited the
vast fortune when his parents died. She could do anything she wanted... or nothing, if
it came to that. The money would still be there. “Maybe I could be a whore. I seem
to be good at that...although I must be slipping. What I’m going to want them to pay
for, you won’t even take for free.”
Snape’s eyes narrowed and Starr took a step back. “Stop behaving like a spoilt brat.”
He turned and with a swish of his robes, was gone, leaving her alone.
Starr sat down, suddenly exhausted. What was it about him that brought out the worst
in her? She used to argue with him in potions lessons, often resulting in detentions or
losses of points for Gryffindor. She didn’t even know why she did it, she certainly
didn’t know more about potions than he did. He’d even told her once that she had the
honour of being the worst potions student that Hogwarts had ever turned out. Maybe
it was better if he did keep rejecting her advances. They seemed to bring out the
worst in each other... nothing good could come from such a liaison.

Please review. Especially if you\'ve taken the time to read \'Falling Starr\'. Which do you like better? Should I even continue with this one? Do you like either? Feed my flagging ego...