Snape's Obsession

Snape’s Obsession
chapter 4


Since Valora had been back in the dorms, her relationship with her dorm mates had been even more strained than usual. It had never been a secret many of the other Slytherins despised her because she was a mudblood. Valora didn’t find the term as offensive as they meant it to be. She had more or less grown up in the muggle world. She had always known her mum was a witch, but her parents brought her up more like a muggle than a witch. In some ways, she was very grateful for that. She loved her father fiercely and nothing the Slytherins could say would ever make her think ill of him.

Luthiera Malfoy was being the biggest pain of all. Her family was rich and pureblood, even her cousins. She took great pleasure in trying to get a rise out of Valora. As they sat in potions class Valora could tell Luthiera was talking about her. She sighed and looked at Mary Ann.

“Ignore her, everyone else does.” Mary Ann said.

“Not in Slytherin house.”

“I keep telling you Valora, talk to Dumbledore. See if you could be put into another house.” She said earnestly.

“No, then I’d be seen as a defector, as well. You were right, I’ll just ignore her.” Valora said looking back at her list of ingredients. Several giggles later, they were talking more loudly.

“Look Ivanna, Snapey’s in a good mood, isn’t he ? Think he finally got some ?” Luthiera chuckled.

“Ugh Luthiera ..… who’d sleep with him ? The greasy old git.” Ivanna said.

“Oh, I don’t know ? Surely he could pay someone. Some muggle whore perhaps.” Luthiera said and both girls laughed again.

The two girls were so busy talking they never saw Valora sitting behind them listening or that she was turning red in her rage. How dare they talk about Severus that way ! Valora picked up the container of pus sitting in front of her intending to douse them with it, then she thought better of it. Setting the container down loudly she got up and started for the door.

“Miss Whinn ?” Severus said sharply. “Just where do you think you are going ?”

Valora couldn’t answer. She was already livid and his sharpness just made her want to cry. She had to get out of there, now. She continued to the door.

“Miss Whinn, if you leave you will receive detention.” Severus said starting to walk down the aisle towards her.

“When ?” She said through her teeth, not turning around. There was a pause. Obviously this was not the response Severus had been expecting.

“Tonight, 7:00.” He said sounding surprised.

“Fine !” With that Valora swung the door open violently and slammed it shut behind her. She stalked away not knowing where to go. Going out onto the grounds, she thought of the tree where Severus had taken her. She hoped she could find it. Coming out from between buildings one and two she saw it. A huge elm near the stone wall. She sat down under the tree, hugging her knees and started crying.

Valora wasn’t exactly sure why she was crying, but it felt better getting it out. Was she crying because Luthiera was making fun of Severus ? Or was it because she was the one who wanted to sleep with him ? She wanted him more than anything else in the world. She scoffed at herself thinking, ‘and now he’s angry with me’. His anger with her was usually easily assuaged though. She would have to think of something to tell him tonight. Oh no !! Detention meant …..they would be alone together. Valora sighed deeply. Neither one of them could be trusted not to do something they might both be sorry for. Or would she ? Would she really be sorry if they slept together ? If it meant his job and reputation ? Yes, she would. If this were only the end of her 7th year, this wouldn’t be such a problem. After graduation, they would be free to be together. Looking ahead at another year of feeling like this was too much.

Valora sighed again, as she tilted her head back against the tree. She saw now why he liked to come here. It was a lovely spot and couldn’t be seen from either the grounds or the castle. What might Severus have done the day of their picnic, if she hadn’t stopped him ? It was no use daydreaming, she didn’t even know enough about physical relations to guess. The mechanics sure, she got that from books, but she had no practical knowledge. She rested her head on her arm sighing deeply.

Valora awoke with a start. She must have fallen asleep under the tree. She looked around. It was getting dark, what time could it be ? She sucked in her breath. Oh detention !! Blast it !! She hoped she wasn’t late. She got down to the dungeons as quickly as she could. The classroom door was open. She went slowly inside looking around. Severus wasn’t there. Maybe he was still at dinner. She did see her book bag on his desk though. She walked over to pick it up.

“Decided to join me, Valora ?” Came Severus’ voice from the room where the ingredients cabinet was kept.

“I’m really sorry, if I’m late.”

“If you are late ? It is 7:30. I thought you might not come.” He said walking out into the classroom sounding concerned. “Care to tell me what all that was about in class today ?”

There was a long pause as they stared at each other. “No.” Valora said simply. Severus looked hurt.

“Is it ….. does it have to do with me ?” He asked.

“No ….well yes……not really …….I don’t know.” She said not knowing what she really wanted to say.

Severus started towards her, then stopped. She knew he was about to hug her, then stopped himself.

“I do not want ….” He started.

“I know.” Valora let out the breath she had been holding. “It really wasn’t you. It’s a combination of many things.” She smiled weakly at him.

“And what exactly was the catalyst for you leaving class ?” He said raising an eyebrow.

“Luthiera Malfoy. She was saying ……… some things I didn’t like.” Valora said not wanting to tell him what was said. “I almost threw a jar of pus on Luthiera and Ivanna. Somehow I felt leaving was less of a disruption to the class.” She said laughing. Severus laughed as well.

“I think you made the right choice. You do not have to stay ……. if you do not want to.” Severus said, his face suddenly looking very vulnerable.

“I think I could tolerate your company for a while.” Valora said giving him a sly smile. “There must be something I could help you with. Organizing the ingredients cabinet maybe ?”

“And what exactly is wrong with my system ?” Severus asked in mocking incredulity. Valora grabbed his hand and lead him into the potions room. Still holding his hand she opened the cabinet doors, looking inside.

“It’s no wonder it takes forever for anyone to find anything.” She said looking up into his face with a light in her eyes.

“I have no problem finding anything.”

“Yes, but you get very impatient when you send a student in here and they take too long to find an ingredient. What’s your system anyway ?” Severus looked as if she had just insulted his family honor. He let go of her hand and went to the cabinet pulling out jars as he spoke.

“I have them grouped by what they are, seeds, roots, animal, leaves and so on. “ He said.

“Could we not just put them into alphabetical order ? Then when someone looks for belladonna, they would know to look in the B’s “ He didn’t seem to like the idea much. He looked down at her, she could tell he was thinking.

“I suppose that would be easier for the students.”

“How about we take everything out and organize it on the counter A through Z ? When we put it back we could start with the A category on the lowest shelf and work our way up.”

“That is a good idea. I should have given you detention long ago.” Severus said with a chuckle as he began taking items out of the cabinet and setting them on the counter. Valora laughed again, enjoying just being with him. They made a good team and the work went quickly. It also gave Severus the chance to check the status on his stores and he was making a list of things he needed.

Valora was just finishing up putting the last of the jars away. The cabinet being very tall, she was standing on tiptoe having trouble putting away the jar of wolfsbane. Severus saw her difficulties and came up behind her, taking the jar out of her up reached hand and placing it on the shelf. As she put her feet flat on the floor again, the full length of her body came into contact with his. He put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. Her pulse quickened as she felt a flashing jolt in the pit of her stomach. She could feel his breathing accelerating as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer. There was nothing improper about being held like this, but she knew it was making each of them want more. He began nuzzling her hair, sending chills down her spine, and making her tremble. Valor understood that tremble for what it was now, excitement. Not being able to help herself, she turned her head to look up im. im.

Severus brushed his lips against hers lightly, looking into her eyes. She captured his lower lip in her teeth biting him gently. A low growl came from him as he covered her lips with his own. Opening her mouth she let him explore her, teach her what he liked, allowing her to suck on his tongue eliciting a groan from him. She tried to turn in his arms, to give herself over to him, but he held her tight, still kissing her deeply. He seemed unable to help himself either.

Valora moaned and whimpered against him, wanting more of him. Severus pulled his lips away reluctantly, his breath coming quickly next to her ear.

“Valora …..” He said in a pained whisper.

“I know, Severus…… I do too.” She said rubbing their heads together. They stood this way until both of their breathing was closer to normal.

Valora still felt herself vibrating as his hold on her loosened, but didn’t let go.

“Severus ?” A voice came from the classroom. Severus released her, a frown on his face and went out to see who it was. Valora followed him. It was Dumbledore.

“This urgent post came by owl to my office. It is for you, Valora.” Dumbledore said looking serious. Valora reached out to take the letter with a shaking hand. An urgent owl was never a good sign.

Valora took the letter and opened it. It was her mother’s handwriting. She read the letter feeling her world crumbling with every word. She looked up and met her teacher’s concerned eyes.

“Severus…...I...?” She got out before she felt herself sway towards him, as her world went black.

******************************************************************

Severus held an unconscious Valora against him, as Dumbledore read the letter. His face grave Dumbledore looked at Severus shaking his head.

“What is it ?” Severus asked.

“Valora’s father has died. He had what muggles call a heart attack at his place of business, his wife could do nothing for him.” The Headmaster sadly put a hand on Valora’s head. “Poor child. She has been through so much already. She will have to go home, as soon as possible.”

“Headmaster, I would like to take her home…….. and stay for the funeral. Since her accident …..Valora trusts me. I would like to be there to offer what comfort I can.” Severus knew this was a most unusual request. He hoped Dumbledore saw nothing improper in it.

“As Slytherin’s Head of House, I think that would be appropriate. I will cover your classes tomorrow. You should take her home in the morning. I will send an owl informing her mother. Take care of her, Severus.” The Headmaster seemed very sad for the young girl.

“Thank you, sir. I …..I don’t think she should be alone tonight.” Severus said picking her up and cradling her in his arms. Dumbledore merely nodded as he turned and left. Severus turned around, went through his office and into his private quarters. He lay Valora on the bed, removed her robes and shoes, then covered her with the down comforter.

Severus’ heart was breaking for her. He couldn’t stand to think of her in so much pain. He went to his private stores and got out a dreamless sleep potion. He knew he would need it later. He also knew he had to let the full impact of the truth sink in to her heart, comforting her however possible. Not twenty minutes ago, in his bed was exactly where he wanted her. One of life’s cruel ironies, he thought. He went out and closed up the classroom and his office, locking each.

Quietly, Severus got out his overnight bag and packed a few essentials. Then he dug deep in his closet for some of the muggle clothing he had there, taking out and packing clothes he felt would be appropriate for a funeral. He also pulled out his stash of muggle money, packing it as well. When he was satisfied he had packed all he would need, he sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his boots, then got up and removed his greatcoat. Still partly dressed, he lay down beside her, pulling her into his arms, waiting for her to wake.

A short while ater, Severus felt Valora stir in his arms. She raised her head looking up at him confused, then he saw her remember what had happened.

“No…no…tell me it isn’t true Severus. He can’t be gone.” Valora was sobbing. Severus sat up, resting against the headboard and pulled her up to him, her bottom on the bed and her legs over his lap. He held her close letting her cry on his shirt. She was lost in her grief and couldn’t hear his words of comfort, though he felt his touch was of some comfort to her.

After a long cry she quieted, bringing her hand up to absent mindedly stroke his chest.

“I’ll have to go home.” Valora said, strangely devoid of any emotion.

“I am taking you home in the morning. You will stay here, with me tonight.” Severus said smoothing her hair.

“You ….. you won’t get in any trouble…..will you ?” She said raising her head to look at him.

“No. Dumbledore knows you are here. I could not let you go through this alone. I said I was here for you and I meant it.” Valora snuggled back down onto his chest.

“Thank you, Severus. You don’t know…… what that means to me.” She said, then lay quiet for some time.

“I have some dreamless sleep potion for you.”

“Not yet ……please……… I’d just like to sit here with you, for awhile.”

“Of course.” He said squeezing her tighter.

“I know…… you don’t think much of muggles, but I wish you had met him. Dad was really an amazing man.”

“I am sure he was, he raised an amazing daughter. What makes you think I do not like muggles ? ” He asked looking at the top of her head. She laughed softly, then he heard sobbing again. He rocked her gently, wanting desperately to take the pain away, but knew he couldn’t.

An hour or so later Severus insisted she undress and put on a set of his emerald green cotton pajamas. Coming out of the bathroom in only the top, she didn’t say anything, but crawled right into bed, flashing him a view of pink panties. He went into the bathroom and put on the bottoms she had abandoned. He never slept with a shirt. He hoped she wouldn’t be too upset by this.

Coming out of the bathroom, he saw her eyes dancing over the sight of his naked half. He stood at the side of the bed, trying to read her, figure out if he should put something else on or not. Valora held her hand out to him, urging him to come to bed. Throwing back to covers, he caught a glimpse of her naked legs and began wondering if this was such a good idea. Though he knew he could never take advantage of a situation like this, but his dreams later on would torment him. Severus poured the sleeping potion into a glass and handed it to her. Valora took it, but looked up at him.

“Do you think I really need this ? I mean …… I like knowing you’re here. If I take this …..” She said seeming all too vulnerable.

“You do not have to take it. I thought it would help.” He took the glass back and put it on the nightstand. He got into bed and lay on his back. Valora lay on her side looking down into his face.

“Being with you helps.” She said bending her head down and kissing him. Then she lay donuggnuggling against him, putting her head on his chest.

“Do not think too much Valora, just remember the good times.” He said. Valora sighed and played with the small patch of chest hair between his nipples. It was really quite soothing and he liked the feel of her next to him. Soon they were both asleep.

***********************************************************************

When Valora awoke, her first thought was ‘I’m in bed with Severus’, her second thought was ‘because Dad is dead’. How could he be dead ? Dad was only about ten years older than Severus. Why him ? Valora felt so guilty for not going home more. She thought she would have all summer with her parents.

She stared at the tapestry on the wall opposite the bed. It was a depiction of Hogwarts and the grounds, it even included the giant squid. Sighing she snuggled back against Severus’ chest, as he was holding her in his sleep. If Valora tried to think about anything other than him, a terrible emptiness clutched at her chest, making it hard to breath. She wondered if he knew he was the only thing keeping her sane right now.

Severus stirred, pulling her closer with a contented moan. Then he gave a physical start, apparently startled to find a girl in his arms.

“I know.” Valora said rolling over onto her back and looking up at him. “I woke up like that too.”

“Somehow, I do not think you woke up like this.” He said raising an eyebrow. Valora was confused for a moment, then she felt what he meant. His hardened shaft was pressing against her hip. Instinctively, she wanted to touch him, he felt huge against her hip, though she had no basis for comparison. But when she moved her hand towards him, he grabbed it. He rolled out of bed, picked up his wand and went into the bathroom. Valora was left alone and the emptiness came back. She got out of bed and walked to the hearth, kneeling down on the rug staring into the fire. She felt the tears running down her face, just quiet tears, sobs were beyond her now. Sobbing was for when your heart was breaking, her’s was already broke.

Valora didn’t know how long she sat there or how long Severus had been sitting between her and the fire. She must have been staring at him, but never saw him. She blinked a few times. He was fully dressed in his usual attire. His eyes scanned hers. She saw her own pain reflected in his eyes. She brought her hand up to caress his face. He held her hand and kissed her palm, before he gathered her into his arms. After a few minutes, he pulled back.

“You go get dressed. I will have some breakfast sent in from the kitchens.” He said helping her to her feet.

“I’m not hungry.” She said weakly.

“You need to eat something. You did not have dinner last night. I do not want you passing out while traveling by floo to your house.” He was trying to sound like a teacher giving orders, but she heard the concern behind his words. She nodded before walking to the bathroom.

When Valora came out, she saw Severus had set up a table and two chairs in front of the fire. There was sausage, eggs, bacon, grilled tomato, toast , tea, a selection of fruit and three kinds of juices. She raised her eyebrow looking up at him.

“I was not certain what you liked. Have a seat.” He said pulling the chair out for her. He was trying so hard. Valora humored him and poured herself some cranberry juice. Severus sat down and piled some food on his plate, then reached for hers putting a small amount of everything on it. He set it in front of her and she gave him a small smile.

“You\'re taking really good care of me, you know.” Was he blushing ?

“I just …….. I am not used to taking care of someone.” At that moment, Valora knew she loved Severus. The thought had been nagging at the back of her mind. But there was no longer any doubt.

Taking his feelings into account, she tried to eat a bit, and did feel better. All too soon, it was time to go. Severus picked up his overnight bag and they made their way to the Headmasters office. It had the only working floo for traveling in the school. The Headmaster was waiting for them. Dumbledore enfolded Valora into his comforting embrace for a minute or two. She was touched by his concern. There were so many students, but he seemed to care personally about each one. She tried to put on a brave face for him.

“Take as much time as you need. Both of you.” He said looking intently at Severus. “Just send me an owl to keep me updated.”

“Thank you, Headmaster.” Valora said as her eyes began to water again.

“Thank you, Albus.” Severus said shaking the Headmaster’s hand. “What is your mother’s first name, Valora ?”

“Veronique, Veronique Whinn.” Dumbledore held out the floo powder for each of them. Valora took a handful and stepped up to the hearth. She threw in her powder and said “The home of Veronique Whinn.”

She had just caught herself and moved out of the way, when Severus appeared. They were both covered in soot. Severus pulled out his wand and waved a cleaning charm over each of them.

“Mum ? Mum are you home ?” Valora called.

“In the kitchen, dear.” Came her mother’s voice. Valora hurried into the kitchen to find her mother making tea. She turned and hugged Valora.

“How are you doing, Valora ?” Her mother looked worried. “I’m so sorry . There was nothing I could do. Your dad was taken to a muggle hospital, by the time I got there it was too late. But…… It was what your dad would of wanted.” Mum was really trying to be strong, it was breaking Valora’s heart all over again.

To Valora’s surprise Severus walked up to her mum and took both of her hands into his and looked down into her eyes.

“Onto the path of the Ancestors our brother has gone” He said.

“to incarnate in our children and grandchildren.” After a brief pause, mum answered.

“Death is not the end,” Severus said.

“but the beginning of the eternal journey.” Mum said.

“Blessed be.” Severus said.

“Blessed be.” Mum answered. Valora looked from one to the other of them. Her mother saw Valora and smiled.

“You will have to excuse, Valora. I haven’t taught her much of the old religion. We raised her in Aimery’s faith.” Her mum rel releasing Severus’ hands. “Thank you for that, Professor Snape.” She really seemed cheered.

“Please, call me Severus.”

“Thank you, Severus.”

“What was that ?” Valora asked.

“It is a Bereavement greeting. It is to remind those who are left behind, that death is not the end, but the beginning, and we will see our loved ones again.” Severus explained.

“Like Seren.” Valora said. Severus gave her a half smile.

“Yes, like Seren.” He said.

“It was good of you to bring Valora home. The Headmaster said you would be staying.” Mum said.

“I will be getting a room at a hotel. I’d like to help, however I can.” Severus said.

“I’m grateful to you for taking such good care of Valora when she had her accident and for keeping us informed.” He’d been writing to her parents, when she was in the Infirmary ?

“Can I offer you a cup of tea, Severus ?” Mum asked him.

“Yes, thank you.” He said sitting down at the table.

“I’m going to go up and change.” Valora said as she turned and left the kitchen. The old religion? She didn’t know there was one. Severus was just full of surprises.

Valora searched through the clothes in her dresser and closet. Most of her clothing was too small. Her bust had increased a bit over the school term. I wonder if Dad would mind if I borrowed one of his shirts, she thought. That was when it really hit her. No, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t be around anymore, at all. She wandered into her parent’s room. Went to his t-shirt drawer and pulled out a favorite of his. It was big and loose on her, though not as loose as it used to be. Valora tried to remember what he looked like wearing this peachy-orange shirt. She then realized she could barley remember his face, which started to frighten her. Searching around the room, she found the picture she was looking for, her parents wedding picture. It was a muggle picture though and didn’t move. There he was tall and dark smiling back at her. She knelt on the floor watching her tears falling onto the picture.

“Valora ?” She looked up to see her mum in the doorway. “Severus was worried.” She saw him peeking around from behind her mother and it made her laugh. He was just so out of his element.

“I couldn’t remember what Dad looked like. I wanted to see a picture.” Valora said handing it back to her mum.

“I have some we took at Christmas.” Mum said. She walked over to the dresser and pulled an album out of the bottom drawer. Then she brought it over and handed it to Valora.

“Severus…..would you like to see ?” Valora asked turning her tear stained face up to him. He nodded and knelt down beside her. Looking at the wizard pictures made her feel a bit better. This was the way she remembered him, happy and full of life.

“What i he he is doing with his hands ?” Severus asked.

“Talking.” Mum said.

“Oh…. I never told you Dad was deaf, did I ?” Valora said looking at Severus.

“No. Deaf ?” Severus looked at Veronique bewildered.

“Aimery was deaf from birth. I could not have healed him. His brain had never processed sound.” Mum explained. Severus looked back at the pictures with a renewed wonder.

“The gestures represent words. It is beautiful to watch.” Valora looked at her mum and they exchanged a smile over Severus’ new found knowledge. He turned his gaze to Valora again.

“Do you speak this ? With your hands, I mean.” She nodded at him.

“You’ll see plenty of people talking this way at the funeral.” Valora said. Somehow, thinking about the funeral was easier with Severus next to her, and knowing he would be there with her. They sat there and finished looking at the album.

“Mum. I need to take Severus to a hotel to get him checked in.” Valora said looking up at her mother.

“You can take my car. Do you really think you should be using your Head of House’s first name?” She asked with a stern expression.

“I asked her to, Veronique. I thought it would be less confusing.” He said covering for her. “Did you say …..car ?” Severus asked looking suddenly nervous.

“Don’t worry. She’s quite a good driver.” Mum said seeing the apprehension on his face. Valora laughed.

“Come on Professor, time to experience muggle transport.” Valora said taking the hand Severus offered to help her up.


Severus was very wary of the car. He didn’t like not understanding the ‘magic’ behind it’s power. Valora took him to a nice hotel that was close by. She offered to help him with the muggle money, but he said he wouldn’t have a problem. And within a few minutes he had his room secured and they went up to drop off his bag.

The room wasn’t big, but it was tastefully decorated, highly impersonal, as most such places are. Severus searched the whole room as if looking for another entry or exit. He doesn’t get out much, she found herself thinking.

He came back to stand near her. Valora walked into his embrace.

“Thank you for the greeting you gave mum. I think it helped.” She looked up into his face. Severus brought a hand up, stoking her cheek.

“How are you doing ? I was worried…….. when you took so long getting changed.”

“I found all my tops are too small now. I had to borrow one of Dad’s.” She said moving her face into his cupped hand.

“I had noticed you ……..blossoming, this past year.” Severus said making Valora laugh. Then she looked into his eyes. He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her. A comforting kiss. Then he hugged her again.

“Severus ?”

“Hmmm.”

“I want to stay here, with you tonight.” Severus pulled back looking down at her.

“Valora, your mother needs you now. Besides, we really should not be ….” He said uncomfortably.

“We slept in the same bed last night. I trust you.”

“You should not.” He said with a half laugh.

“It’s just ….. when you\'re not near me……..everything becomes dark and overwhelming. You give me the strength to bear it all.”

Severus seemed to be thinking, because he didn’t answer right away. “What will you tell your mother ?”

“I’ll tell her I’m staying with a friend.” Looking at his face she could see the battle going on. Finally he sighed.

“For tonight. After that, I think you need to be home.” He said.

“Thank you.”

“Is there anything we can do, to help your mother today ?” Severus asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll call her and ask.” Valora said heading to the phone.

“Call ?”

“On the phone. Surely you’ve used a muggle phone.” Severus shook his head and came over to watch her fascinated. Again a rush of feelings infused her, she loved him, without question. The question was, what was she going to do about it ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.