Too Much Love Will Kill You

Too Much Love Will Kill You

4 – Yod Legimeo

Lorena expected to spend her days and nights in the Slytherin dorm she had occupied before. But Dumbledore had refused, arguing that it would be much more practical if she could live nearby her protector’s quarters. In fact, he had planned – with Severus’ agreement – that she shared his quarters. An extra room had been installed there for her, a bedroom and a small bathroom for her only, courtesy of the castle’s magic. Besides, there were no students, so there would be no gossiping around. Last but not least, all the Slytherin students had come back home. She would have been left alone in the dorms there. The only other person to live in that part of the castle, was Professor Severus Snape himself. Albus did not wish to leave her alone in a dorm.

She had agreed though she felt a bit embarrassed at the idea of sharing her life with him. But she said nothing. She understood the reasons. Soon her trunk was sent to the extra room. Severus had brought her there first, to acquaint her with the surroundings. He could see that she had been trained to recognize and memorize a new place quickly. Well, she had never had many difficulties in memorizing data before either.

Once they were done, Severus led her to the various classes and facilities she may need to access and use. He was guiding her gently, a slight pressure on her elbow, some indications about the steps or a door told in her ear. He hoped she remembered the castle layout, after five years spent there. She did. She remembered it so well that when they walked past the library, she stopped in her tracks, her body stiffening.

“The library… the library…” she whispered. “The library.”

Severus heard the despair in her voice. He imagined easily what she could feel as he would have been truly unhappy if he could not read any longer. He dragged her there gently. After all, now was a good time to give her a gift.

“Please, Professor, why did you bring me here ?” she asked with a broken voice.

Severus said nothing. He had led her in front of the shelf containing the books about potions. Then he took her wand from under his right sleeve – he kept his own wand under his left sleeve. He took her hand and put the object into it, before closing her fist over it with a gentle pressure.

Lorena reacted with surprise. A second after, she recognized the thing. Her wand ! Then Severus lifted her arm so that her wand tip could touch the books, making sure that it was set onto a title.

“Yod Legimeo,” he whispered into her ear.

“Yod Legimeo ?” she repeated without understanding. Only then she gathered what he meant. A spell.

“That’s a special spell I created for you. Touch any printed or handwritten material with the tip of your wand and the words will come to your mind.” He had whispered her into her ear, with his soft, silky voice that sent a thrill down her spine.

That was a complex spell he had created and cast on the wand. The spell was specifically tied to her wand only, that is, anybody using that spell could read in these conditions provided they use her wand. The spell did not work with other wands. “Oh Professor…” Lorena whispered back, emarveled. She could feel he was close to her. She could feel his breath on her neck. But she did not mind. Strangely enough, he was the only person she could accept so close to her, whose contact did not make her lift her mental barriers in apprehension.

She moved her wand a bit and soon the title of a book appeared in her mind. “Oh !” she could not refrain. Severus took another book from the shelf and opened it in front of her. He directed her wand tip towards the text and suddenly, a potion recipe came to her mind. He turned another page and the tip fell on the text describing the Aconit toxic properties.

Lorena could not believe it. She stopped and turned her face to him. “Oh Professor… I don’t know how I could ever thank you. I thought I would be barred from this pleasure. Thanks to you, it’s like… like I’m back to the land of the living !” Her eyes were welling up.

Severus was aware this was no exaggeration on her part. She loved reading to pieces and he knew she could spend hours in the library with a good book. He blessed her blindness for a few seconds as she could not see a rapid emotion passing over his features.

She squeezed his arm in an appreciative gesture. He was surprised. He had never seen her touch someone. Not deliberately like that. Somehow she must have felt his surprise. “I’ve learnt to rely on my extra sensorial perception. As I need to rely on touching too, I’ve learnt to control the emotions I may receive from other people through physical contact,” she explained in reply to his unsaid question. “I’m no longer afraid to touch other people, as long as I can control my telepathic abilities to keep their thoughts or emotions at bay. Or let them arrive to me, just what is sufficient for me to know.” She paused. “I didn’t want to embarrass you, Professor. I just want to really thank you for the gift you just presented me with. I’m deeply indebted to you now.”

“You owe me nothing, Miss Nottingham. I just want you to resume your education up to your usual standards.” Still his cold tone. But Lorena smiled at him. She knew that his coldness was a practical way for him to hide his emotions and feelings. The emotions and feelings she had slightly felt when touching his arm.

“All the same.”

“How will you do to take notes down ?” Severus asked. The issue provided a convenient diversion to the conversation.

“The institution for the blind gave me an enchanted quill, one that takes notes down by itself. I just have to cast a spell to activate it. Otherwise, it’s just like any other quill. They taught me to write without help too. But the outcome is not that wonderful and I’ll do my best to spare the professors from it.”

There was nothing as such Braille in the wizarding world. Severus nodded and explained that he wanted to see her write as he did not wish to struggle with her written assignments. However, he was curious and he told her he wanted to see her handwriting with and without the enchanted quill. She agreed with a smile.

Severus took the book from her hands and put it back into place. “Let’s go back to the Great Hall. It’s time for lunch soon and I don’t want us to be late,” he said while taking her by the elbow to guide her outside. She slipped her wand under her right sleeve.

Lorena said nothing but kept a contended smile on her lips. Not only this was a real gift he had offered her with, but also she had just gathered more about him in a few minutes than she had ever had in five years at Hogwarts.

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Severus led Lorena to the Great Hall for the lunch. Only one table had been dressed as about eight members of the staff remained over Summer. Dumbledore had Tranfigured a small rectangular table, more convivial in his opinion, than the big staff table. He usually did so during Summer holidays, when there was not a lot of staff members, so that they could all eat together. Professors Sprout, McGonagall, Flitwick, Mr Filch, Ms Pince. Hagrid remained outside, in his cabin or outdoors, tending to the various creatures around, enjoying fresh air and long days. Dumbledore was sitting in the middle. The only missing teacher was Severus himself. Ms Pomfresh had left for the whole of July and would be back early August. A seat had been kept for her at the table, between Ms Pince and Professor McGonagall.

“Here’s your seat, Miss Nottingham,” Severus said while putting her hand on the chair back.

Lorena felt the chair and approached her hands to the table. She grasped the table and sat. Then she gathered her dress around her, lifting it enough to show a white laced petticoat under her green dress, and shapely calves.

Severus noticed it but kept his usual indifferent composure. In fact, it was the very first time he noticed it. Not very rule-abiding, as far as uniforms are concerned, he thought. To tell the truth, he realized that she may have worn such undergarments throughout all these years here at Hogwarts. Had he noticed it before, he could not decently dock points from her House for such a motive though. Professor Severus Snape docking points from Slytherin ? Just because one of his students wore petticoats under her robes ? That was not serious !

That was not serious and he knew it. Besides, he was not paid to eye up female students. The academic year was over. Staff members and students alike were free to dress as they liked during their holidays. Nonetheless a small, but not so innocent, thought crossed his mind. Severus wondered what it would feel to slid his hands under the petticoat… on her legs… He admonished himself firmly as she was one of his students and a charge whose safety has been entrusted to him. He managed to expel that thought out of his mind but now one particular memory had taken its place. When he had held her tight underneath him to control her during her fit, one year ago.

Then Albus, already sitting in front of Minerva McGonagall, showed the Potions Master the empty seat beside him, inviting him to join. Severus went to take his seat beside the Headmaster, just opposite Lorena. She could not see him but he thought she would quickly gather where he was during the meal. She would recognize his voice – provided he spoke, of course.

The Headmaster explained to the other staff members who she was and what she was doing here. Technically, she was not a student yet, only a former one, that needed to be reacquainted with the castle, for her enrolment back. He explained that she was blind.

Severus kept watching her during lunch, assessing her every move. If she needed nobody for her meals, chances were high she may not need help for other daily routines either. He saw that she was doing fine, except for a little guidance to get her food in her plate. Professor Sprout was friendly as usual to help her in this regard. She also needed to be told what food was in her plate and where.

Once the lunch was other, he came back to her and offered her to take her for a walk into the castle gardens, as a way to get her acquainted again with the place. Lorena gracefully accepted with a smile. She stood up and Severus touched her elbow gently to guide her outside the Great Hall.

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