The worst days of our lives

Chapter 4

One could say that Draco had quite a few occasions in his life in which he had been afraid, terrified even. But nothing could compare to the anxiety he felt at the current moment.

Draco felt his heart beat in his throat. Thump, thump, thump. Cold sweat formed on his back, the shirt of his uniform sticking to his flesh as the droplets ran down his spine slowly. He shrugged his robes off his shoulders in a hurried frenzy as if it were on fire. He released the heavy suitcase in his hand. With a thud it hit the moist ground.

When the Ministry first notified him of his ‘punishment’ he laughed. He had the audacity to laugh out loud. Not a chuckle, but a full blown loud symbol of amusement. Now he realized why the auror who had brought the message had smirked. The ass had known. This was worse than having a psychopath in your house. It was almost as bad as Azkaban. At least what they did to him wouldn’t differ much. Draco shivered, he hoped not.

Draco was quite sure he couldn’t survive this. They would eat him alive after all he had done. They weren’t going to have any mercy, he was sure of it.

He had gone back to Hogwarts.

*****

Pansy was beyond nervous. She felt like a paranoid wuss these days, always looking over her shoulder, keeping her head down, afraid that people would notice or remember her.

She walked into the Great Hall, glancing around. Most students still had to arrive. Luckily. Quickly she made her way to the Slytherin table, quite a few students had already arrived. When she saw Blaise sitting there, she immediately hurried over to him and sat next to him.

‘Hey Blaise,’ she murmured. A crooked smile lit his handsome face.

‘Pansy, long time no see. I already started to think you left Britain for good.’

‘I had things on my mind,’ she replied, ‘How are you Blaise? How have you been?’

Blaise shrugged.

‘Well you know me, went here and there, did a little here and there.’

‘Ah, very informative as always,’ Pansy replied drily, ‘I am to assume you’ve been forced back as well?’

Blaise smirked.

‘Of course, the Ministry can’t be too careful with dangerous people like us right? Who knows what we might do when they let us around, let’s say, Diagon Alley. Wow, that would hit the headlines if we, a bunch of teenagers, would go shopping. Maybe my mother will turn up and…I don’t know? Buy us ice cream? Disastrous of course. ’

Pansy laughed weakly, without finding it funny. She did appreciate Blaise’s, though poor, attempt at humor. He smiled drily.

‘That would be such a disaster indeed. Not that your mother would actually buy us ice cream. She would more like, force us to do some unpleasant things...’

****

It was so great to see everyone together again. Hermione looked around her at the Gryffindor table, seeing all those smiling faces and again knew that this is what they had fought so hard for. This was it. Happiness, a chance at a normal life, a chance to be a real teenager. Not that they were real teenagers anymore, they had seen way too much destruction for that. And on top of that, they were nineteen. Their teenage years would quickly be over, especially hers. In a few days she would turn twenty and then there was no going back.

‘I see all the Slytherins came back,’ Harry said to Neville, nudging him in the side.

Neville, who looked so tall and grown up, looked behind him and scanned the Slytherin table.

‘Yeah I know. They had to come back you know, they were forced by the Ministry. It was either Hogwarts or Azkaban,’ he shrugged, ‘As long as they stay out of the way.’

‘Wait, is that actually Malfoy? I thought he went to Azkaban, for..you know..that murder.’ Ginny said.

Hermione turned around and watched Malfoy walk into the Great Hall. When she looked around she saw they weren’t the only ones who had noticed him. From all four tables people banded together and whispered.

‘It really is him,’ Harry said in wonder, ‘How could they let him get back in here? He’s a killer for Merlin’s sake!’

Malfoy seemed impossibly stiff, like he was walking towards his doom. It might seem that way if the entire Great Hall was looking at you like that.

Hermione was surprised when she read the paper that day, over a year ago, somewhere in June. Draco Malfoy had killed a Muggle.

‘I vividly remember the day Hermione told me Malfoy wasn’t a murderer. I guess you were wrong Herms,’ Harry said smugly.

Hermione glared at him. How could he be smug about that? That wasn’t a laughing matter.

‘I guess I was wrong then,’ she said stiffly.

‘Wow people listen up! Hermione Granger. Was. Wrong!’ Harry said, laughing. The Gryffindors laughed with him.

Hermione glared once more, then turned her attention to the Slytherin. Malfoy looked tired, he had bags under his eyes and hardly smiled. Not that he smiled much before. Hermione couldn’t really tell anyway, she never paid a lot of attention to him. He was just an annoying fly who wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard you tried to chase it out of your personal vicinity.

The others lost interest in Malfoy and returned to their previous conversation. Hermione did not. She kept on watching him with a frown upon her face.

Malfoy stopped in front of his old friends, Zabini and Parkinson. He seemed nervous as he swallowed and sat down opposite of them. Pansy’s face seemed to lit up at his arrival. Hermione smiled wryly, Parkinson probably still had the insane need to cling to him as if they were glued together.

The sorting began but Hermione couldn’t concentrate. She kept looking at the Slytherins.

Hermione wondered why he killed the Muggle. The papers said it was a crime passionele. He had just done it in the spur of the moment. Hermione remembered that day, she hadn’t believed it when she read it in the papers. To her he was just Malfoy, annoying slime ball, not a murderer. She guessed he was more like his father than she had originally believed. Which was a pity, everyone had potential.

****

Even though dinner was delicious, as always, Draco couldn’t help but poke his food around on his plate.

‘Aren’t you going to eat? It’s really good,’ Pansy asked him.

Draco smiled drily.

‘I was just about to,’ he said as he scooped some mashed potatoes onto his plate. Pansy was right, it was really good.

Blaise and Pansy talked like they had never been apart. They would make a good couple Draco thought.
Ugh, Draco felt stuffed. Too much mash, he grimaced and pushed his plate away.

When McGonnagal stood up, everyone fell silent. Draco looked at the stern witch. She still looked the same, as an old spinster. He couldn’t help but respect this woman though. She had cleaned up after…everything. And did a damn good job too. The Great Hall looked precisely the same as before. Except for the statue at the entrance, a memorial to all the people who fell.

McGonagall took a deep breath and started off the welcome speech.

‘I am proud to see you all here tonight. There are more students who have returned than I had expected. As you all know, this is the first year after the War that Hogwarts opens again. This is the year were everyone can make a fresh start.’

Draco snorted. Right, as if it were that easy.

‘I hope that you all will put aside your differences and co-operate and maybe even be civil to one another,’ McGonagall smiled drily, ‘I do understand this might be hard for lot of you,’ glancing at the Slytherin and Gryffindor table, where people smiled and giggled apologetically, ‘but I think that everyone is with me when I say we do not need another war on our hands. The last war was horrible and destructive enough, the Wizarding World could do without another conflict. This year will put emphasis on interhouse relationships. It was what late Headmaster Albus Dumbledore would have wanted. A united Hogwarts, a united student body.’

Blaise leaned to him and said under his breath: ‘I’m alright with uniting some student bodies.’
Draco smirked.

‘- The Forbidden Forest is as the name says, forbidden. So excuses about not remembering it was off limits will not work,’ McGonagall said, glancing at the Golden Trio. Draco saw Potter and Granger grin. ‘You all know the rules. Now, let me introduce the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, professor R. Lupin.’

A cheer erupted from the crowd. Students, especially from the Gryffindor table stood up and clapped and cheered. Draco’s face remained passive. He didn’t necessarily like the man but didn’t despise him either. Lupin was alright he guessed. He looked very tired though, bags under his eyes and a scar ran across his cheek. Greyback had been responsible for that, Draco recalled with a shiver. Greyback had never been on his favorite persons list.

Draco zoned out. He didn’t hear the rest of the welcome speech. He couldn’t say he was particularly interested anyway. It was the same every year. Even though this year might have been the exception. But Draco couldn’t help it. He couldn’t be bothered to actually listen to the head of Gryffindor house. Instead he scanned the crowd.

The Ravenclaw table seemed to have lost the most students. It seemed ridiculously empty, they even seemed to think so. The remaining students sat together, warily looking around them. Hufflepuff was close second. Gryffindor and Slytherin seemed to have most students. Draco grinned inwardly, that was going to be very entertaining.

Draco’s eyes scanned the teachers table. Snape had returned. He still looked like shit though. He always would. There were thin scars running from his ear, down into his collar. He was lucky to be alive. Draco was glad Snape was alive, he was his godfather after all.

Suddenly he heard the scraping of the benches and around him people were standing up and walking away. Draco frowned. Was it over already?

Pansy and Blaise stood next to him, expectantly looking down with raised eyebrows.

‘Right, let’s go,’ Draco said as he too stood up.

Blaise smirked.

‘Get your head out of the clouds, we’re supposed to stay behind. Were you even listening?’

Draco shook his head.

‘No, who wants to listen to the old bat anyway? Why are we supposed to stay behind?’ He hoped they were just allowed to crawl into their beds. He was so tired. And he had a drawing to finish.

‘Because we’re not staying in the dungeons anymore,’ Pansy said. Blaise stared at her. ‘It’s just a guess!’

Draco chuckled.

‘Come forward please. Mr. Goldstein you too, stop chatting up. Potter, get over here,’ McGonagall said as she beckoned everyone to the teachers table.

Draco noticed that all the unofficial seventh years had to stay behind. They all lined up in front of the table.

McGonagall seemed to space out for a moment, her eyes became unfocused and she said nothing. Then she snapped out of it, her eyes roaming over the students.

‘Right. I trust you all have read the rules. No Quidditch, no prefects or head students. It is your generation I am most worried about when it comes to house rivalry. Because you do not truly belong in any houses anymore it’s been decided all of you will live in the tower. There won’t be any dormitories, but separate rooms. I will lead you there in a minute,’ McGonagall said. Draco found this a splendid idea. Privacy. Just what he needed. ‘This also means that we do not consider any of you part of a house. I want all of you to take off your ties and house crests. Remove them if you will.’

Everyone gasped. No houses?

‘But professor! It isn’t-,’ Granger started but McGonagall cut her off.

‘No Miss Granger, no buts. You are all grown up. I expect you all to behave as such. I know how much all of you identify with your house. But you are not just your house, you are way more than that. At this point, houses will only drive you further apart. We can’t have that now can we?’

Draco could swore he saw McGonagall grin. He sighed. No house, no Quidditch, no prefect. This was going to be one boring year.

*****