Centerfold

Hermione arrived home after the photo-shoot and immediately hung the black silk dress in the back of her closet. It was a tangible reminder that she wasn’t the boring, frumpy bookworm that everyone thought she was. The dress was a souvenir of her day on the wild side and so she knew she would always treasure it, but she also didn’t want anyone else to find it. The shoes and stockings were already in a box which she placed on the top shelf of the closet. Smiling, she closed the closet door and ventured into the kitchen.

With a hot cup of tea and a book, she went and sat in her favorite chair, even though she wasn’t actually planning to read it. Her mind was still mulling over her actions and behavior from earlier.

She was lost in thought and thus a bit surprised when a heavy weight settled on her lap, but it quickly pulled her attention back to the present.

“Hey, Crooks. You wouldn’t believe what I did today,” Hermione said to her large ginger-colored cat.

In response, he playfully batted her check with a paw before head-butting her in the chest.

“Well, maybe you would,” she chuckled. “I have to wonder if Harry and Ron will, though. I’m sure they’ll find out eventually and be completely shocked. Oh well, maybe then they’ll see me as a girl.”

“Mereow.”

“You’re right, of course, it really doesn’t matter if they see me as a girl or not. It’s not like I want to be with either of them. But as David said, there are lots of other wizards out there, too.… Well, I think I’ll go to bed. It’s been an exciting, tiring day, Crooks, and I’m all worn out.” Hermione stood and carried her large cat with her to her bedroom.

After changing into her pajamas, Hermione once again looked at herself in the mirror. Her short hair was still curly and not tangled. “See Crooks, something good has come from this. Hair I don’t hate. That was worth letting every wizard in the world have access to naked pictures of me.”

And with that, she got in bed and fell asleep quickly.

oooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooo

The next day, Hermione dressed and Apparated to the Ministry.

Upon awakening, she had again experienced the surreal feeling that the photo-shoot had never occurred. This time, she realized it had been real when she got in the shower and poured her usual amount of shampoo in her hands, only to realize that her hair was short.

She spent her morning as she usually did, reading and researching and figuring out why a potion did or didn’t do what it was supposed to, but today she was having trouble concentrating.

By lunch time, she desperately needed a break. When she arrived at the canteen, she saw Ginny seated at a small table by the windows and hurried over to join her once she had made her selections.

“Hey, Ginny,” Hermione called, coming up behind the flame-haired witch.

“Hermione! Sit down and join me!”

“What are you doing here?” Hermione asked.

“I have an interview for a job here at the Ministry and was given leave to spend a weekend with my family so Dad could bring me here. Harry was out of town with Ron for their training, so I spent it at the Burrow with Mum. What about you? We missed you yesterday at brunch. I like the new hair cut, by the way.”

The question caught Hermione off guard, which caught her more off guard. She hadn’t come up with a plausible story for her weekend and she knew the truth would eventually come out.

“Oh, not much. Decided to get the new hair cut…” she trailed off evasively. For once, Ginny didn’t seem to notice the omission.

“Well, it looks great! Did you get it for the ball?”

Hermione was momentarily confused. “Ball?”

“Yes, silly, the ball. You know, the Anniversary Ball? In two weeks?”

“Oh, hell, I had forgotten about the bloody ball!” Hermione exclaimed, a bit agitated. In truth, she had forgotten about the ball, and the role she and Harry and Ron would be expected to play at it… The ball which would be taking place just after her pictures came out…

Suddenly, Hermione lost her appetite.

“So do you have a dress yet?” Ginny asked, not noticing her friend’s sudden quiet.

“What? Ah, no…”

“Well, why don’t we go shopping after my interview? I need to get new robes, too…”

“Sure, come by my office when you’re done…” Hermione got up and walked back to her office in a daze.

OooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooo

“That one, Hermione. Definitely that one,” Ginny said, cocking her head to the side to admire her friend. Ginny had already found a set of dress-robes. They were a deep aubergine that set off both her flaming red hair and her eyes.

The dress Hermione was currently wearing was a bright Gryffindor scarlet satin, with a low-cut sweetheart neckline and cap sleeves. The bodice was tight and displayed her cleavage before dropping into a deep v at the waist and flaring into a full skirt. It was both incredibly sexy and incredibly formal, and in a color that was guaranteed to make her stand out in the crowd.

The old Hermione would have never considered it. The new Hermione, the Hermione that took risks and lived life as if it was an adventure, loved it. The only question was which Hermione would be attending the ball, the ball so soon after those pictures were to come out…

With a sigh, Hermione considered herself in the full length mirror for another moment before nodding her head.

Ginny squealed, and clerk smiled in anticipation of a fat commission check.

oooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooo

The rest of Hermione’s week passed quickly and totally normally. Everyone loved her new hairstyle, and no one mentioned the pictures. If it hadn’t been for the hairstyle, Hermione might have convinced herself that the whole thing had never happened.

And then Sunday arrived. Sunday, the last day of May, the day before the Anniversary, and the day before the June issue of Nimue’s Dungeon was due to be released.

Sunday was also the day when every week the entire Weasley clan gathered at the Burrow for brunch along with Harry and Ron. The only one who didn’t attend was Ginny, since she was at school. Hermione also had a standing invitation and she usually attended as well. The only reason she had not gone the week before was because of her appointment…

Hermione got up and dressed quickly, a glance at the clock showed her that it was about time to go. She brushed her teeth mechanically and ran her fingers through her hair, amazed that it was still curly and was behaving itself.

Shaking her head, she grabbed her wand and Apparated to brunch.

OooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooo

Hermione arrived on the front porch of the Burrow and knocked on the door.

A moment later, was opened by Fleur. For a moment, Fleur stood there, staring at Hermione in silence, then, the door opened the rest of the way and Hermione was motioned inside.

For a moment, she was taken aback by the silence that greeted her. Usually, Sunday morning brunch was a raucous event, with the twins getting into mischief and Fleur and Bill’s baby giggling. Today, even the normally irrepressible twins were silent.

As Hermione made her way through to the kitchen, she saw the entire table full of red-heads, plus Harry, turn to stare at her.

Damn, they know.

“Hello, everyone,” Hermione said, smiling at her sort-of adopted family.

Silence.

After a moment, her smile faltered and she was afraid that her friends would completely turn on her, but instead of letting them see that their silence was hurting her, she straightened her back and moved to seat herself at the table.

Mad or not, they had set a place for her in her normal spot.

Sitting on the plate in her spot was a copy of the morning edition of the Daily Prophet.

On the front page Hermione saw what had caused the normally boisterous Weasleys to be silent in shock.

The headline on the front page read: Gryffindor Golden Girl Poses Nude!!! This was followed by one of the pictures from last weekend, the picture of her in the dress in front of the bookshelves, showing off her curves.

Well, at least it’s not one of the naked ones. Of course, I don’t think the Prophet would publish a picture that actually showed my bits…

Hermione continued to scan through the article, noticing that for once, it was fairly accurate. She snorted to herself thinking that for all the times the paper had printed misinformation, this time they got it right.

“Hermione, is there something you would like to tell us? Is this true?” Harry asked.

“A picture’s worth a thousand words, Harry, and you can see the picture,” was Hermione’s snippy reply.

“Well, you’re not nude in the picture, and the Prophet does tend to exaggerate…”

“Well, for once, they got it right. Must be a new reporter.”

At this she glanced down and noticed that the by-line did in fact belong to that Skeeter cow. She just shrugged. “Or not. Ah well, even a blind hog gets an acorn once in a while! It’s fairly accurate for a change.”

The twins looked at each other, then at her, then back to each other.

Hermione was more concerned with what was happening in the twins’ brains than with the rest of the Weasleys. They looked to be plotting, and that was never good…

Hermione also noticed that Ron was blushing hotter than she had ever seen him; his face was actually redder than his hair.

“Why?” he burst out, unable to contain himself anymore. His mother shot him an annoyed glance, but the rest of the family turned to hear her answer.

“Why not?”

“That’s not an answer.” Ron was yelling now, getting more worked up by the moment.

“Then try this one! It’s none of your business why!”

“Yes, it is! Do you know what people are going to be saying about you? About US?”

“US?! This has NOTHING to do with US?! Hell, Ronald, there IS NO US! You’re my friend, but you don’t own me, we are not dating, and I am an adult! Bugger off!”

At that Hermione got up and slammed her way out of the kitchen into the back garden. She was fuming about Ron. How dare he make this about him? It had nothing to do with him!

A moment later, she heard footsteps following her; turning around she saw Charlie coming towards her from the house. Of all the Weasley boys, she knew Charlie the least well. He was older and had been in Romania even during much of the war.

“What?” she asked ungraciously.

“Hermione, they’re just worried about you.”

She took a deep breath.

“I know that. But there’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Well, maybe, maybe not. You won’t explain why you did it, and I don’t know if you thought about how people will talk about you. The wizarding community is not large, you know. Everyone will know what you did…”

She sighed. “I did it for the money, and because the man offering me the money was quite persuasive. And because I’m tired of people looking at me and seeing a book with legs. I know you’re right, people will look at me funny for a while, but they’ll stop eventually. They don’t even bother Harry anymore, and he did something much more newsworthy.”

Charlie was silent for a minute.

“Not everyone sees you as a bookworm, you know. Come back inside. They’ll calm down soon.”

And with that, he turned and walked back into the Burrow.

She sat outside for a few more minutes breathing deeply, and then turned and followed him.

As she re-entered the kitchen, Hermione noticed the talk ceased again.

“Are you all right, Hermione?” Harry asked in the tone he used when he was trying to apologize without actually saying he was sorry.

“I’m fine.”

“Then will you please tell us why you did this?”

“Mostly because the offer was too good to refuse.”

“In what way?” Harry persisted.

“Harry, they offered me a fortune. And not a small one.”

“Hermione, if you needed money, why didn’t you say something? I would have helped you.”

“I know you would, Harry. But I didn’t need money in that way.” Hermione was getting annoyed with Harry. Harry had been forced to take on the persona of white knight coming to the world’s rescue at a young age, and it was hard for him to let it go.

“Then why would you do this?”

Hermione sighed thinking Harry didn’t seem to understand that she didn’t want to share her real motivations with him.

“Harry, they offered me enough money that I will never have to work again and I can financially support any cause I want to. Not to mention, they offered me an adventure.”

Ron’s mouth had dropped open during the discussion of how much money Hermione had been paid to pose, but no sound was forthcoming.

“Regardless,” she continued, “I’m an adult and I made a choice. I wasn’t forced or blackmailed, and I actually kind of enjoyed it.”

Molly’s eyes hardened at this, but as Hermione was neither her child nor married to one of her brood, there wasn’t much she could say.

Silence reigned again, but was eventually broken by the baby’s giggles. That seemed to be the cue for things to return to normal, and while no one engaged Hermione in conversation for the rest of the meal, no one was talking about her like she wasn’t there, either.

Finally, the meal ended, and Hermione helped clear dishes to the sink.

“Molly, thank you for having me over today. I am going to go ahead home and get some work done. The food was amazing as always.”

Instead of responding with a hug like she normally would have, Molly just nodded and turned her back on the girl who she had once hoped would marry her youngest son.

With a sigh Hermione left through the front door and Apparated home.

OooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooo

Sunday morning was the only day Draco allowed himself a bit of a lie-in.

His family name had suffered a lot in the aftermath of the war. Both of his parents had been killed: his mother by the Dark Lord because of Draco’s failure, and his father by the Aurors as he tried to escape Azkaban. His own name had been cleared of wrong-doing mostly do to the foresight of the late Albus Dumbledore.

On a good day, Draco found it ironic that the man he was supposed to kill was the one who cleared his name, even if it occurred from beyond the grave.

Severus Snape’s name had also been cleared, and the entire plan had come to light after the Order of the Phoenix emerged victorious.

Draco was both relieved with how things had ended and appalled that St. Potter had once again emerged the winner.

Even though all charges against Draco were dropped, his family’s name was permanently sullied by its association with Voldemort.

Fortunately, the vast sums of galleons that Draco had been forced to pay to the Ministry and to some of the survivors of the war only made a small dent in the Malfoy fortune. His name might not count for much, but Draco did manage to live comfortably despite his new lack of social status.

This was not to say that he didn’t have friends.

He did.

And he would keep telling himself that, too.

Eventually, even self-indulgent social pariahs have to get up from their lie-in.

It was almost lunchtime on Sunday when Draco finally managed to clamber out of his massive silk-draped bed and stumble down to the Dining Room.

Seated at the head of the table, Draco absently picked up his cup of coffee and prepared to read the paper as he did every morning.

Having just taken a sip of coffee, he was not prepared to deal with his instinctive reaction to that day’s headline. For a moment, his control faltered and coffee sprayed from his mouth onto the snowy table linens and onto the paper.

Quickly, he set the coffee cup down and daubed at the paper. He didn’t worry about the linens, since that’s why he had house-elves.

Once he had gotten most of the moisture, he resumed reading the front page article.


Gryffindor Golden Girl Poses Nude!!!
By Rita Skeeter

Several sources have independently confirmed that Hermione Granger, best known for her friendship with The Boy Who Lived and her role in the defeat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, posed nude last Sunday for the magazine Nimue’s Dungeon as their centerfold for the month of June.

The magazine, which will be released on June 1, will apparently contain over a dozen full-color wizarding photos of Miss Granger in various poses ranging from racy to completely indecent, according to sources.

Also confirmed by several sources, Miss Granger will be the highest paid centerfold ever to “grace” the pages of the magazine. A source in the finance office claimed that her contract was based both on a flat rate for the shoot and in part on sales, and could easily total over twenty-five million galleons.

Miss Granger has been unavailable for comment.


The picture which had been included with the article showed Hermione Granger posed against a bookshelf in a tight, short dress that left almost nothing to the imagination. It was as far from the shapeless bags she had worn at Hogwarts as it was possible to be and still be clothed, and Draco felt himself becoming aroused by the figure in the picture.

Draco wasn’t usually one to purchase porn rags, but he was seriously considering making an exception for this issue.

Not because I find her attractive… no… that’s not it… It’s because then when I see her next, it will be with the knowledge of what’s under her robes… she’ll never be able to intimidate me then…

Decision made, Draco decided to purchase the June issue first thing in the morning…

oooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooo

Another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was almost at a close. Graduation was scheduled for the next day, NEWTs and OWLs were over, the weather was warm, and Severus Snape was still in a foul mood.

Minerva had coerced him into returning to this blasted castle after Dumbledore’s preserved memories had caused the Wizengamot to drop the charges against him. Once again he found himself surrounded by dunderheads, locked in a dreary dungeon teaching a volatile subject.

Apparently, the Wizengamot had accepted his innocence, but Minerva was determined to make him suffer.

Severus had arrived at breakfast in his normal bleak mood, which was only exacerbated by the lack of caffeine in his system.

Looking out over the long House tables, he saw both his past and his future, and neither of them was all that appealing. There were few students he could stand at all. None of the current batch of his own Slytherins were up to par, although they weren’t as bad as Crabbe and Goyle had been.

Even Severus, trained as a spy and able to hide emotions from the most powerful Legilimens of the age, couldn’t suppress a shudder of the memory of the two of them in his potions class. Add in the fact that Longbottom had been in the same class, and it went into the history books as the worst potions group he had ever had the misfortune to teach.

Of course, that was balanced by the fact that the group also held Draco and Granger. They had been two of the best potions students he’d ever had. Not that he’d ever admitted that to Miss Granger. She was insufferable enough with that conceit to swell her head.

As he was preparing to go to his first class of the day, the morning post arrived. This was usually accompanied by a crescendo in the ambient noise which always accompanied breakfast in the Great Hall.

Today, the crescendo occurred as normal, but cut almost immediately into silence as students who received the paper clapped hands over their mouths and their friends squirmed to read over their shoulders.

Usually Severus didn’t care what was reported in the Daily Prophet. He had found during the war that they usually got it wrong and went out of their way to malign him, so he had stopped his subscription. Today was the first day he was sorry about that decision. Now he would have to wait to find out what caused the furor amongst his students.

Looking over the crowd, he noticed the pale face of Miss Weasley. While a Gryffindor, she was one of the few students he could stand. This was partly because of the work they had done together for the Order during the war, and partly because she was one of the few students who respected him but didn’t loathe him.

She looks very pale. I wonder what is in that blasted paper?

With a brisk movement, he stood and walked up behind the abnormally docile Gryffindor table until he was standing directly behind the red-head.

“Miss Weasley, I need to speak with you before your class. Please come early.”

And with that he strode through the door without a backward look and without waiting for acknowledgement.

She arrived in his classroom a few minutes after he did.

“Professor, what did you wish to speak with me about?”

“Miss Weasley, I merely noticed you had gone pale and seemed upset about something. I was wondering if you would care to elaborate as to why that might be?”

“Ah, well, I was… ah… just a bit… ah… surprised, I guess…” Ginny was unsure what the correct answer was to his question. She had gotten a look at Colin’s paper at the breakfast table and been utterly shocked with the article that appeared on the front page. As had everyone else in Gryffindor that was old enough to have actually known Hermione.

“And what had surprised you?”

“Um… Professor, did you read the paper this morning?”

“Of course not. I have not subscribed to that piece of trash in years.”

“Oh. Well, I was surprised by an article they had written.”

“And what was this article, Miss Weasley?” His voice had gone silky and cold, a sure sign to those that knew him that he was at his most dangerous.

“Well, sir, it was titled ‘Gryffindor Golden Girl Poses Nude’ and was a story about Hermione…”

Whatever he had been expecting, that was not it.

Coughing, he finally managed to get out, “Thank you Miss Weasley, please take your seat and wait for class to begin.”

He turned and fled to his office, needed a drink before his first class of the day.