Love, Marriage, and Pranks

Love, Marriage, and Pranks


Fred and George Weasley eyed each other, looking ill, as they each held the official looking letter that both had just received delivered by a ministry owl. The twins had been silently simmering down from their yelling episode, ever since their dad had informed them of what was happening the previous evening before they could read it in the paper the next morning.

Both were dreading finding out who the ministry had seen fit to shackle them to. Neither was pleased to say the least. Both had practically blown a gasket when Arthur had told them the previous evening exactly what law the ministry was placing into action that morning.

Fred had yelled, “This is bloody ridiculous, who the hell are the ministry to decide who everyone does or does not marry?” George had added, equally yelling, “They’ve taken away our freewill. All of us who are unmarried are being forced into marriages we don’t bloody well want.”

Molly had informed them, thinking it would seem like some kind of consolation. “Charlie, Ron and Ginny are also going to have to marry, as are Harry and Hermione.”

It did not make a bit of difference, except to have both twins scowling darkly, whilst mentally cursing Bill and Percy for already having married Fleur and Penelope. Bill had married Fleur before Ginny’s sixth year, while Percy had married Penelope that August just gone.

Both twins thought it was unfair. Fred, because he was not ready to marry yet, he and George were only twenty for Merlin’s sake. What was the rush all about? It was not as it was when the war was going on all around them, when you had no idea when the next attack would hit, or whether your time was finally up. The war was over.

George hated the whole fiasco. He realised he could be stuck with any tosser the ministry chosen. He did not give a shit what the ministry said about the whole selection not being random or ever wrong. As long as that person was not Harry James Potter “Boy who lived, boy who defeated he who must not be named” then it was beyond wrong no matter what anyone else said.

George had fancied Harry since the Yule ball in his sixth year and Harry’s fourth. He knew he was in love with Harry after the one night they spent making love before Harry had buggered off with Ron and Hermione on that search for parts of you know poo’s soul.

Unfortunately George was under the impression Harry had not felt the same. That he had only wanted George as a one-time thing only, so that he did not die a virgin. That was the reason why George slept around so much. He had no idea that his tactic to try get over Harry was what was driving his love away from him.

Fred calling out his name snapped George out of his thoughts of a certain messy raven haired, green-eyed wizard. He turned to face Fred and asked, “What?” Fred replied, “Forge let’s just get this over with. The sooner we do, the sooner we can start cursing the balls off Kingsley, whilst working towards making our darling spouses permanent resident of St Mungos”

George snorted at this and replied, “Fine, Gred. We’ll swap and open each other’s letters, and on the count of three we’ll open them at the same time.” Fred nodded and handed his letter to his twin and accepted his twin’s letter in return.

They shared a nervous glance before counting together “One, two, three.” On three both quickly opened the envelope and took out the letter. They immediately began scanning the letters contents.

George’s eyes bugged and he could not help but let out a loud hoot of laughter, as he slapped his hand against his knee, that was not holding the letter when he saw the name Hermione Jane Granger.

Fred quickly looked up from the parchment in alarm when he heard his twin’s hoot of laughter. He felt monstrous amounts of dread suddenly swamp his insides. Whom the hell had he got, that his brother would be hooting with laughter like one of the crazies on the mental ward at St Mungos?

Fred all but yelped, “What the hell is so bloody funny, who did I end up with? Oh fuck, please tell me it is not someone like Pansy Parkinson or Millicent Bullstrode, I’m bloody begging you, Forge?”

George gasped out between gales of laughter, “Relax, it’s not that bad.” Fred all but leaped out of his chair, bounded over to his twin, and snatched the letter out of his hand.

He quickly scanned the letter. His jaw went slack seconds later. It became more then apparent as to what had tickled his twin. He exclaimed in disbelief, “Hermione! What the hell?” This only caused George to breakout in another fit of laughter.

Fred growled and yelled, “Shove it, Mrs. Harry Potter!” Fred instantly froze as he realised what he had just yelled at his twin, apparently so had George. His laughter instantly ceased and he had gone as white as Peeves, his freckles looking ever brighter against his skin.

It was now George’s turn to leap from his chair, bound over to Fred, and snatch the letter out of his other hand. He then quickly scanned its contents. He felt his hand tremble as he read the name, Harry James Potter.

George could not help the beaming smile that overtook his whole face. Apparently, Fate was being kind for once. He figured after losing one of his ears during the war was punishment enough.

He was still secretly gunning for Snape; the greasy bastard would get his. He did not care that Snape was only keeping up with pretences. He destroyed his fucking ear for Merlin’s sake.

Everyone thought he had gotten over it, did not know that it was only a matter of time before George reacted. Fred definitely knew his twin was anything but over it. Snape nor did anyone else have a clue. Snape would not know what had hit him.

Fred sighed and continued to scan the letter. He grimaced and said, “Forge, we need to be at Hogwarts for eleven. The ministry are insisting we go there and meet with our spouses to be.” He added asking his twin, “Sweet Merlin, can you imagine what Hermione will do and say when she opens her own letter and finds my name?”

George snorted at this and replied, “I can only imagine. She always got in the way of us expanding our products when we were still at Hogwarts.” He added, laughingly asking, “Damn, can you imagine what any children conceived by you and Hermione would look and act like?”

Fred nearly choked at the images that came to mind. He shook his head wildly, as if to clear such images away. He moaned as he said, “Merlin, the thought is absolutely bloody mind-boggling.”

George snickered and told his twin tauntingly, “Mind-boggling or not, those children are going to exist whether you or Hermione like it or not.” Fred merely swallowed thickly as he continued to scan the sheets of parchment in his hands.

He looked up after a moment and asked, “I take it your happy with your chosen?” He eyed his twin as he asked this. He knew his twin was in love with the raven-haired wizard. He also knew about what had happened between them during the night before Bill’s wedding.

George replied, smiling as he did, “I got lucky, and I am more than aware of it as well.” He added, frowning slightly, “I am worried through, worried that he won’t give me the chance to tell him how I really feel about him. Or worse, he ends up rejecting me.”

Fred also frowned at hearing his brother saying this. He told him, “Even if he rejects you at first, you still have to marry him. This means you’ll have years to convince him of how you really feel.”

He concluded folding the parchment closed, “If you did not use the stupid pain management that is sleeping around with Merlin knows how many guys, guys that are not Harry, then maybe he will sit down and give you the time of day without thinking your some kind of male slut.”

George scowled at Fred before folding his own letter closed. He sighed and said, “Whatever. We need to get ready. The shop will remain closed today. Verity and Lee will be off meeting their own spouses, Angelina included.”

Fred nodded and followed his twin out of the kitchen to get ready, all the while thinking of and dreading his up and coming meeting with Hermione.