On Whom Doth The Moon Shine

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter and I’m not making money out of it.

() means thoughts.


Chapter Three

A week later, I waited for Gabriel at Thomas Café. I sat near the back, impatiently tapping my fingers on the oval-shaped table. I was nervous because I still don’t know what to do. Ginny was pregnant with our fourth child which should give me a reason to end the affair. I don’t want to end the affair but, at the present, I have no choice. I needed to devout all my attention to my increasing family.

As I waited for Gabriel, the memory of Ginny and I conversation from a week ago still played in my mind.

(“Harry…I’m…pregnant.”

I strangely stared at Ginny.

“What?”

Ginny’s imperceptible smile turned into an infuriated frown.

“What do you mean by ‘what’? You should be happy,” she said forcefully.

I give her no response as I released her small hands and left the dining room. Ginny called out my name but I ignored her. I needed some fresh air as my doubts of her current pregnancy filled my head. I almost opened the door until Ginny grabbed my wrist. I sighed and faced her.

“Harry…I thought you would be happy. I thought that having another child would change things between us,” she alleged, her voice was so soft but poignant.

I haven’t opened my mouth yet.

“Harry, please speak to me,” she begged.

I sighed. Then I asked,

“When did you get pregnant?”

Ginny was offended as she dropped my wrist. She folded her arms and glared.

“Harry?”

“I want to know,” I said forcefully.

Ginny looked at her feet before she faced me.

“Three months ago,” she said.

“Are you sure you’ll pregnant?”

Ginny took my hand and pressed it against her heart. She looked at me with her pretty brown eyes.

“Of course, Harry, I would never lie to you about that.”)

That line, “I would never lie to you…” melted my heart. Although Ginny and I relationship had always been rough, we always work it out. Sometimes it would not be in my favor, but at the end of the day, Ginny and me stayed together. I loved Ginny and Gabriel with all my heart but… I must stay with my wife. I want to make my marriage work regardless of how much I love Gabriel. He will always be in my heart…but not in my life.

In less than ten minutes Gabriel came in the café. He saw me sitting near the back and came toward me. After he took off his frock coat and sunglasses, he gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. Then he sat down.

“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it, Harry,” he asked.

I sighed.

Gabriel must saw something in my face when he touched my hand. Gabriel’s face relaxed which I knew he cared about me. That alone put more stress on me.

“Did you and Ginny get into a fight?”

I browed my head and tried to think clearly. I looked into his eyes and replied,

“She wanted to spend more time with me, Gabriel. It was the main reason I wanted to meet you in person…”

Before I could finish, Gabriel withdrew his hand from mine and stared at me. My heart broke when his bright eyes turned dull. His concern expression became a livid expression. He inhaled heavily while his mouth parted. No words came out of his lips.

“We have been together for two wonderful years and…”

“Don’t start that shit, Potter,” he hissed while his eyes turn red, “Don’t fucking start it!”

“Gabriel, you knew I was married when we started it. You knew my family came first. I can’t afford to hurt my wife and my children any longer,” I said heatedly.

Gabriel shook his head and chuckled.

“Family came first? Don’t make me laugh. You weren’t thinking about your lovely wife when we fucked on New Year’s Eve,” he gloated.

“Shut up,” I mumbled. Hurt by his words, my feelings were being torn and I couldn’t do anything about it.

“You didn’t care about them when you had your cock in my arse, making me scream your name.”

“Please, Gabriel,” I plead, holding back tears.

“Or when I came in your mouth after you blow me for the seventh time that night.”

“Shut your gotdamn mouth,” I snapped.

Gabriel froze. He closed his mouth and tears came down his face. I looked at him and I knew he was hurting too. I hurt him. I didn’t want to him but I had to pick my family over him. At least he can date anyone he wanted. At least I will be happy with my family. That was all I wanted!

But then why do I not feel good about it?

I tried to place my hand on his face but he jerked away. He wiped the tears from his eyes and glared.

“I should have known, Harry. I should have not tempted you that night. I was wrong to start something with you. For the last two years I thought you would leave your wife. Then you and your children can live with me. I thought we would be together. It was always my dream, Harry,” he softly said.

“Gabriel…”

He raised his hand.

“Even Draco told me you would never leave Ginny. He told me to forget about you and date someone else. Now, I wish I had. I wish I did not get reacquainted with you. I wish I just…I am so stupid to have those fantasies about us together,” he whispered.

Fuck. I never knew he wanted me to leave my wife so he and I can live together. I felt guilty all over again. I should have ended it before it got too deep and personal. I regret hurting Gabriel. I wished I could comfort him but I knew it wasn’t appropriate. It would make it worse.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I’m so sorry for putting those thoughts in your head. I never thought it would become that serious between us,” I said although I had a feeling it would.

Gabriel putted on his jacket and sunglasses. He pushed the seat in the table.

“Fuck you, Potter. I hope you and your red hair whore burn in hell,” he hissed.

Without thinking, I grabbed his wrist. Gabriel pushed me away and left. I should have let Gabriel leave the café but I couldn’t. I followed him to his car and I blocked him from entering it. Gabriel pushed some of his hair out of his face and folded his arms. I knew he wanted to hit me. If he did hit me then I would not retaliate. Hell, I deserved it anyway for hurting him.

“Harry, please get the fuck away from my car,” he said impatiently.

I shook my head.

“Gabriel, hear me out. I didn’t know….”

“Of course you did. You know damn well you knew that I loved you and hated your stupid wife. I just want to know why you decided to…I want to know why, Harry. Why now? You had plenty of time to end our relationship,” Gabriel sternly asked.

I couldn’t say anything.

“Tell me!”

“Because Ginny is pregnant with my fourth child! I owe it to her and my children to be a good father and husband. I hurt them as much as I hurt you. I had to end it for the sake of my family,” I snapped.

Gabriel frowned. I don’t know if he believed me but I wanted him to know the reason. He deserved to know.

“Are you sure Ginny isn’t lying again? She did it once,” he said coldly.

I scowled at him. I know what Ginny done in the past and I forgave her. I do not need a remainder, especially from Gabriel.

“She wouldn’t lie about being pregnant,” I whispered.

“Keep telling yourself, Potter. Ginny wasn’t innocent when you married her. After all, I can tell you wonderful stories about her and…”

I jerked him by the his coat collar and hissed,

“Don’t you ever talk about my wife like that! At least she warned me about what you did to me during the War! Betraying me to…” I didn’t want to think about that night. I didn’t want to think about what Gabriel did to me. He didn’t have to do it. Yet, he did.

I released Gabriel’s collar and moved away from his car. Gabriel stared at me. I saw resentment and tears of sadness in his blue eyes.

I wanted to do something but I couldn’t. My body didn’t listen to my brain so I remain standing. Gabriel wiped the tears from his face and opened the car door. He entered it and drove away. Instead of running after him, I cursed and kicked the streetlight. I thought it would be so simple. I thought I could just break up with him, he would understand, and we could remain friends. It didn’t go as planned. I stopped the affair so I would save my marriage, but I never thought about his feelings. Now I’m wondering, did I make the right decision?

****

I didn’t get home until six in the evening. I couldn’t stop thinking about Gabriel and how I broke his heart. I felt as if I didn’t make the right choice. I should choose him and leave my wife. Yet, I can’t choose him because I wanted my marriage to work and Ginny was pregnant with my fourth child. Besides, I don’t want my children growing up in a broken home. Maybe with time, my feelings for Gabriel will pass.

I took a deep breath and exited out of the car. When I entered the house I saw James and Albus watching television while Lily slept on the couch. Ginny was cooking dinner. I went in the kitchen, wrap my arms around her waist and kissed her neck. She laid her head on my shoulder and smiled.

“I miss you, darling,” I whispered. I loved the feel of her hair under my chin and the feel her body next to mine.

Really? But weren’t you thinking about Gabriel when she gave you head in the bathroom. You weren’t thinking of your precious wife then. The evil thought in my head said. I pushed it aside as Ginny said,

“I miss you too,” she replied. Then she tilted her head and kissed me deeply.

I should feel happy since I choose her over my lov…ex-lover. I wanted to believe I made the right decision. I finally had my wife and children. What more can I want?

Gabriel.

No, I can’t think about Gabriel although I miss him. But I can’t stop thinking about how I hurt him. I can’t stop picturing how sad his face was when I told him. Damn, Gabriel will haunt me no matter what I’ll do.

Ginny broke the kiss and whispered something in my ear. I nodded as I helped her with dinner. After dinner, Ginny, the kids, and I watched a movie. Then Ginny and I put the children in their beds. Soon we went to our bedroom and locked the door.

Ginny pushed me on the bed and straddled me. We kissed as our hands roamed each other body. It felt foreign to me because we never been intimate for a while. I took off her dress and throw it on the floor. I sucked on her exposed pale neck and licked her collarbone as I unbuttoned her bra. She was already unbuckling my belt when I put one of her breasts in my mouth. I nibble on her hard nipple, which she cried. In less than a minute, she pulled down my pants while I took off her panties.

Ginny rubbed herself on my cock as I grip on her small waist. I felt her hot breath on my ear while I sucked her neck. Her hot breath and her wet entrance rubbing on my harden cock drove me crazy. I started to crave her entrance as she teased me by lowering her on the tip of my cock but not all the way. I groan, leaving stitch marks on her waist. I wanted her so bad. And when I heard Ginny begging for me to enter her, I flip her on the bed so I could I be on top.

“I miss this, Harry,” she whispered fanatically.

“I know,” I hissed when I moved inside her. She sucked on the side of my neck, moaning every time I pushed inside her. I thought I would love the moans and the feel of her pink walls…I didn’t. I loathed it because I didn’t want to make love to her. I wanted to make love to…him.

I tried not to think of him as thrust inside her. Each thrust became powerful and painful since I tried not to think about Gabriel. I griped the bed sheets as I felt her legs wrapped around my waist. Ginny screamed my name when I hit her core. She gripped my shoulders and used her muscles to push my dick farther inside her. The deeper I went, the more she loved it and the more I loathed it.

I was near my climax when my thoughts came back to Gabriel. I thought about his sad face when I broke up with him. I tried to push those thoughts away but I never could. Before I finally succeeded in pushing the memory away, I climaxed. My body jerked and relaxed on top of Ginny.

Ginny nibbled my lips opened and slide her tongue in my mouth. We tasted each other for five minutes. For the rest of the night, Ginny and I kissed and made love (while I thought about Gabriel’s sad face). I couldn’t say that I loved the sex but as time progressed, I would learn to love it once more. Besides the sex, I believe my marriage with Ginny was somewhat on the right track. There will not be any more distraction. I love Ginny and I would do anything to make our marriage last. Even if it meant I can’t see Gabriel again.