Master of None

It was almost a year before Lucius came to him again. Over the course of the year, they had been in constant contact, with Lucius sending owls on a regular basis, describing explicit and nearly depraved things he wanted to do to Severus; in return, Severus sent letters that were delicious in their innocence. Somehow, despite all the humiliation and suffering Severus was forced to endure during his life at the school, including almost being killed by a werewolf and not even being able to tell Lucius about it, Severus’ affections remained steady, and even if he wasn’t as eloquent as the older man, he tried to make up for it with obedience.

When Lucius gave him little things to do, seemingly innocuous things that would mean nothing to anyone else, Severus felt like Lucius was with him every moment. When Lucius told him not to touch himself intimately for two weeks, Severus obeyed gratefully, knowing that he was pleasing Lucius with his acquiescence. And he himself grew more confident in knowing someone cared for him enough to tell him what to do. At the end of the two weeks, Lucius sent him an owl saying only, “Now.” And Severus immediately took his cock in hand, thinking of Lucius saying that single word in his ear, and came in a matter of moments, shuddering and shaking from the force of the expulsion. He sent the owl back with a letter describing what he had done, and Lucius told him he was very, very good.

Severus didn’t know if Lucius was checking up on him to make sure he did the things he asked, like wash his hair every day and stay away from certain people, and wear certain colours, or eat only specified foods. He knew Lucius had many eyes in Slytherin house, but even if he didn’t, Severus would never disobey just for the sake of it. There was a time when he rebelled, wondering why the hell it felt so good to do what he was told by Lucius when he was so contentious with everyone else. He explained his misgivings to his master and Lucius told him he believed it was because he was the only person who would never hurt Severus intentionally, that he only wanted what was best for him. All Severus knew was that he wanted this, that it felt so good to be able to be himself.

It felt so good to be a good boy.

Lucius finally came to him the night before his graduation ceremony from Hogwarts. He was showered and ready for bed, reading a Potions journal and anxiously awaiting his freedom. All his things had been packed for weeks, so eager was he to leave. He didn’t know what his future had in store, only that he was going to Lucius’ for the summer while Narcissa was travelling with her family. Lucius had been invited but begged off, citing the family business as an excuse. Severus couldn’t wait to have him to himself.

Severus had been hoping Lucius would show up to his graduation ceremony, but knew he was a very busy man with many demands on his time. He would see him tomorrow night though; when the party was raging at Hogwarts, he would have better things to do. Like what he did to Lucius last time, he hoped. Seeing his stoic friend lose control in front of him was highly intoxicating, and Severus got off to the mental image countless times. Lucius was never more beautiful than when in abandon, Severus decided, and made a promise to make that happen as often as humanly possible.

His door opened silently and he had his wand in hand immediately, trained on the intruder. Lucius slipped casually into his room, closing the door behind him and smirking.

“Where is your hair tie?” He queried imperiously, forsaking greetings even though the two had not seen each other in months, and then only briefly.

“I just got out of the shower, I was waiting for it to dry,” Severus excused, reaching for it and tying his hair back immediately. It would be dented from being tied while wet, but Severus didn’t care; he was disappointed in himself for not meeting Lucius’ approval.

“Much better,” he said when Severus had finished securing his thick, black hair. “Now, aren’t you going to say hello?”

Severus could barely contain himself and threw himself in Lucius’ arms, which caught him easily and held him tightly. They remained thus, and Lucius inhaled deeply of Severus’ fresh scent, unreasonably glad to have the younger man in his arms again. “I’ve missed you terribly, you know. You simply have no idea of the effect you have upon me.” Lucius’ words were stated melodramatically, but Severus could hear the truthful undercurrent and he leaned up to kiss those pouting lips.

Lucius permitted the kiss, holding Severus’ head and guiding his movements, taking over the control of the kiss and forcing Severus back slightly, the awkward position giving them both a rush of power in their respective roles.

“Now, Severus, please understand I am only here to talk. Nothing else will be happening tonight.” Severus tried not to look disappointed, and he wondered if Lucius was here to tell him he would be leaving with Narcissa after all.

“I understand, sir.”

“Good. Now, tomorrow is your graduation and you will be thrust into the world with no lifeline, correct?” Severus tried to hide his confusion and wanted desperately to say that Lucius was his lifeline, the only one he would ever need, but he only nodded mutely.

“Well, except me, of course, but I cannot always be there and you certainly can’t live at my house with my wife and me.” He laughed, and Severus felt a sinking sensation. He shook his head as if to say, ‘no, I can not.’

“So, I’ve found you a job.” Lucius looked upon Severus to see his reaction, but Severus only nodded again, and both were beginning to believe this conversation would be one-sided permanently.

“For Merlin’s sake, Severus, I’m not sentencing you to death by wand squad! I’m giving you a chance to make your way in the world, and work for one of the bravest and smartest men I know. Could you please at least act grateful?” He tried to keep his words light but he was a little annoyed that his gift was not well-received.

“Of course I’m grateful, Lucius. I’m grateful than you even deign to speak to me, sometimes, but I hate that I can only be a dirty secret. I hate that I can never have the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

And so the words were spoken that had remained heretofore unsaid. Severus lowered his head immediately, knowing he had to show Lucius he was not challenging him in any way, but a part of him wanted to shout and curse and demand that Lucius leave his wife and take him away. He subdued the feeling. Lucius had wanted him to speak freely, and he had done so. Maybe he would not be in too much trouble.

But Lucius surprised them both and gathered the younger man into his arms. He led him to the bed and laid Severus down, his body stiff but moveable. Lucius began to unbutton his pajama shirt, and removed it. He then took of Severus’ pants, and he was naked on the bed, his imperfect and frail body under the scrutiny of this flawless older man. Severus was ashamed and moved to cover himself or turn away, but Lucius held him immobile and only gazed upon him. Laying his body right next to Severus’, he leaned up on an elbow and looked down onto Severus’ face. His right hand reached out and caressed every part of the younger boy, relishing in the shivers and soft moans that came from his body. Severus wanted to cover up but stayed stiff and unmoving, wishing Lucius would just stop looking at him like that.

“Severus, let me look at you, touch you. Just for a minute, and then we’ll talk.” Severus relaxed and closed his eyes tightly, letting his body absorb the touches Lucius was bestowing. He ran his hands over Severus’ lithe body, delighting in the ridges of his ribs and the concave of his stomach, wanting nothing more than to turn him over and impale himself upon the young man. But he held back and let his hands do the work for now.

Lucius situated himself between Severus’ parted thighs, Severus struggling against rebelling at being exposed this way. Lucius pushed Severus’ knees up so his feet were flat on the bed and continued to caress and stroke the young man. His hands were everywhere, one hand pinching and scratching lightly, the other soothing and studying. He touched him everywhere, even drew his fingers over Severus’ jutting member, but he did not bring him relief. From his feet to his scalp, every part was worshipped and soon enough Severus was nearly quaking under the sensation. It felt like Lucius’ hands were everywhere at once, it felt like Lucius was showing him that he loved him. He could feel love in that touch, and imagined it was only for him.

When Lucius finally settled a hand his cock, Severus nearly lurched off the bed. But his hand did not move and soon Severus was thrusting into it, his fingers clutching the coverlet tightly. Lucius’ other hand grazed his balls, then his perineum, and finally, brushed gently against Severus’ back entrance. Severus recoiled a little at the sensation but groaned and relaxed when Lucius began to move his hand over his cock. The finger circled his tight right of muscle and pressed in a little, and Severus couldn’t avoid the invasion because suddenly he was coming harder than he’d ever come by his own hand, and he was crying out and shaking in his release.

His eyes flew open and he apologized, while Lucius looked down at him with smiling eyes. “It’s okay; I didn’t say you had to ask to come. I won’t punish you for what I wanted to happen.” Severus was relieved but still disappointed in himself. He should have asked—that would have made Lucius so proud. He would never make that mistake again.

Lucius reclined beside him and ran a finger through the wetness on Severus’ chest. He brought his offering to Severus and pressed it against his closed lips. Severus licked it off unquestioningly, delighting in the way Lucius’ eyes darkened and his breath drew in sharply. Lucius kissed him viciously, demanding submission and Severus granted it, letting Lucius overbear him with his tongue, giving all that was demanded of him. Finally, Lucius pulled back, approving of the way Severus looked properly debauched, and said, “Okay, now it’s time to talk.”

“Don’t you want me to…?” Severus glanced unsubtly at Lucius’ groin and back to his face.

“To what?” His feigned innocence was caused by an overwhelming desire to hear Severus say the words.

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” The words came out in a rush and Severus couldn’t meet his eyes, but his licked his lips in anticipation.

“No,” Lucius said, the flat word startling Severus out of his embarrassment. “Or, I do, but I won’t let you do it tonight. It’s your night, after all.” He smiled brilliantly at the consternated student.

“And since it’s my night, I can…do what I want?” Severus could see that Lucius wanted him, the desire was evident both in his face and his pants, and he desperately wanted to relieve his lover’s tension. He was glad to see mirth filling Lucius’ eyes, as he’d been uncertain if his advances would be wholly unwelcome, or that he’d gone too far with his suggestion.

“No, Severus. We still do what I want. Now, I want to talk about what you said,” Severus looked a little dazed and Lucius elaborated, “About never being able to have what you want, which I assume means me.”

Severus looked resigned and nodded unhappily.

“Here is the truth of the matter. In many important ways, you are correct. We will never be married or live in the same house together. We will never raise children or buy property together. I am a Malfoy and my first duty is to my family. I will do my duty as I have always done, and make love to my wife to produce an heir. After that, I could not care less if I never saw her again.”

Severus wisely remained silent and only nodded for him to go on, glad that Lucius was not admitting to loving his wife. Duty he could understand, even if his was only to himself.

“But you will be my lover. Forever. I want you in my life, need you, in fact. I will not settle for less than all of you. You can not get married; can not have children by a woman to further your line. If that is a problem for you, you will tell me right now.”

Severus didn’t much like women and absolutely abhorred children, and cared less than nothing for the ‘Snape name’, so this was a caveat he would readily agree to. He said as much, and Lucius nodded his approval.

“So as much as we can possibly be together under the guise of friends, and under the restrictions of my duty, we will be. And that will have to be enough.” Severus believed it would be more than enough, since he had been willing to accept so much less.

“I will provide for you like any man would his mistress,” he paused and looked sternly at Severus, who retracted the protest he had been beginning at the notion that he was a mistress. “You will work for my friend Tom as a potion maker while you go on to become a Master. He will pay you well, monetarily but with other rewards as well, and you will, of course, be grateful.”

Severus nodded, wondering what the other rewards were briefly, but focusing on the part where he would work with potions, the only subject he’d ever truly loved. Lucius was offering promises left and right, and his head was spinning with the speed at which his life was changing.

“And I will continue to work for Malfoy Industries until my father sees fit to allow me to take over. So you see, my little snake, everything is going to work out perfectly. We will be together, I will have an heir, a fortune, a manor and a business; you will have me, your dream job, an allowance, and your own home. I cannot see how it could work out better,” Lucius concluded smugly and looked as though he wanted to hear an argument from Severus.

But he would hear none, as Severus believed it could not possibly be better. It was everything he ever wanted except that he would not be living with Lucius; but that was something he’d barely allowed himself to think of, so outrageous was it. Severus only solemnly nodded and then broke out into a wide grin that was so unfamiliar it hurt his cheeks. He buried his face in Lucius’ shoulder to contain the outburst, but Lucius pulled him back, looking upon him with a matching grin.

“Everything will be okay now, you see? Everything is just perfect.” Lucius was petting Severus’ disheveled hair back into a semblance of order, and Severus, exhausted from a day of anticipation and a night with his lover, fell asleep hoping he would not dream, for all his dreams were already coming true.