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Enforced Therapy
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
6,971
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
6,971
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter (wish I did). I make no money from this (I'm still broke).
Sirius
Please read & review!!
***
Sirius
Those fucking bastards found me. Well, at least Remus is here with us now.
Poor sod.
I had decided the company of a few bottles of fire whiskey, as well as some well shaped ladies were better companionship than this lot. But now that I’m back I found out from Harry that Hermione is shagging bloody Slytherins by the truckload it would seem, I’m beginning to wonder what they have that we don’t.
“They don’t have anything we don’t,” Remus said from next to me. “She is attracted to the forbidden and the taboo.”
Hermione snorted at that. “Not likely.”
“Then why do you sleep with them?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I think we have a right to know,” the twins said. “Seeing as we haven’t received our diagrams yet.”
She rolled her eyes and looked at us. “They have everything you have and the other way around. And I am not tempted by the taboo or forbidden, thank you very…”
“People, please!” the ugly little man in a set of robes that can only be described as the color of dung and three sizes too small said. “We were listening to Mr. Longbottom’s trauma over his gran’s roll in his life!”
“Oh Neville! There isn’t a person on the planet that hasn’t been traumatized by your grandmother! Get over it!” Ron snapped.
“I had to live with her!” Neville declared.
“Death Eaters were traumatized by that woman,” Lucius said drolly. “I don’t see why he should feel any differently.”
“Merlin help the woman that wants to marry you,” Hermione said sounding as if she were thinking of the war itself. “I went over to help him with potions over the summer after the Battle of Hogwarts. I had to convince her I was a lesbian before she let me in to see him.”
“Who haven’t you been doing?” Harry asked in shock.
“Not women!” she snapped at him adding, “I think you would have said you would do women as well just to get out of the shadow of that vulture hat of hers!”
Harry was silent a moment before he nodded and murmured, “Point made.”
“She doesn’t do girls,” George sighed.
“There’s one fantasy down the tubes,” Fred whispered, both dashing an imaginary tear from their eyes.
“Is that fire whiskey?” I asked, when I saw the little ugly man in the brown robes pull something from his desk and drink from it. “It’s not polite to be selfish.”
Hermione sniffed in the air. “It doesn’t smell like fire whiskey.”
“It’s a calming draft,” the man slurred.
“No, a calming draft smells like lavender. That smells like…”
The man dropped to the middle of the floor. Fred rushed over to him and checked his pulse. “Okay, he’s out!”
“What’s going on?” I asked them.
“Knock out drops,” George told me as both he and his brother were carrying the man back over to his chair. “Fred and I wanted to see if our new formula worked.”
We then watched as the two applied what Hermione called muggle makeup to his face. By the time they were finished with the man he looked like a garish clown and yet ever so much better as well. Sad really.
“Why didn’t we just leave?” Remus asked.
“The doors are warded so that we can’t leave the building,” Snape told him. “They changed that after the last meeting. We’re prisoners here until the man they are currently putting into muggle women’s wear says so.”
“How long does that potion last?” Hermione asked casually.
“Oh we have at least another…” Fred started.
“...Good two hours,” George finished.
Hermione went over to Snape and whispered to him something that had the man pulling her over to the nearest closet. Sick.
But this was not nearly as sick as the man in front of us, not by half. He looked like a whore I had been propositioned by on Knockturn Alley. I shuttered when I realized that the whore in question was more than likely a man. It was a good thing I was sober enough at the time to care what he… no…she…not really…whatever…looked like.
“You know he looks like a whore I met once over in Knockturn Alley,” Lucius murmured. “Thank Merlin I was too drunk to...Oh Merlin, it might have been a man!” He proceeded to join Snape and Hermione in the closet.
“You mean that they…” I started.
“Oh yes! Fuck me now!” Hermione exclaimed, cutting me off.
“Apparently so,” Remus answered blandly.
Moonie and I played cards for the next two hours, as Harry and Ron played chess, Hermione was being “occupied” by the two former Slytherins, and Fred and George were playing around with their new doll, which now was wearing a wig of blond spiral curls and was wearing a child’s sailor outfit along with a full nappy. All in all, it was time better spent than spilling our guts to that idiot.
A mussed up Hermione came strolling out of the closet, walking a little funny, but otherwise looking content and very well sated. Snape was next out and doing something I had never seen him do before. He was smiling. It wasn’t a sneer, but an honest to Merlin smile. Malfoy was the next one out of the closet, looking as angry as I’ve ever seen him.
“What could you possibly want with him?” Lucius asked her. “I’m rich! I can give you everything you could possibly want!”
“Yes, but he gives me what I need,” she told him. “Sorry.” She sat down, made an alarmed, pain filled squeak and jumped up again.
Snape went over to where she was, sat down and pulled her into his lap. Letting out a long sigh, she settled against him as she whispered, “You better kiss it and make it better later.”
His smile widened. “You know I will, my sweet witch.”
“Oh pul-lease!” Malfoy raged, waking up the ugly little man.
The twins rushed back over to their chairs and everyone just waited. He blinked at all of us, looking at us suspiciously. Before looking at himself. He made a choked sound that I must say I’ve never heard a man make before. I imagine it’s akin to the sound a man would make if his balls were in a vice that was slowly being tightened on them. I shuttered at the thought of that. I also crossed my legs. I must make a vow, I will never think of vices and balls in the same sentence again. Though now that I think of it…
“Out! Get out now!!!!” the ugly little man in the girl’s sailor’s dress roared.
NOTE TO THERAPIST—THIS GROUP IS IMPOSSIBLE. I’M REQUESTING A TRANSFER TO THE CRIMINALLY INSANE WARD OF ST. MUNGOS. THEY MAYBE VIOLENTLY INSANE, BUT THEY ARE SAFER TO BE AROUND THAN THIS LOT!
***
Thank you for reading!! Please take the time to review!!
***
Sirius
Those fucking bastards found me. Well, at least Remus is here with us now.
Poor sod.
I had decided the company of a few bottles of fire whiskey, as well as some well shaped ladies were better companionship than this lot. But now that I’m back I found out from Harry that Hermione is shagging bloody Slytherins by the truckload it would seem, I’m beginning to wonder what they have that we don’t.
“They don’t have anything we don’t,” Remus said from next to me. “She is attracted to the forbidden and the taboo.”
Hermione snorted at that. “Not likely.”
“Then why do you sleep with them?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I think we have a right to know,” the twins said. “Seeing as we haven’t received our diagrams yet.”
She rolled her eyes and looked at us. “They have everything you have and the other way around. And I am not tempted by the taboo or forbidden, thank you very…”
“People, please!” the ugly little man in a set of robes that can only be described as the color of dung and three sizes too small said. “We were listening to Mr. Longbottom’s trauma over his gran’s roll in his life!”
“Oh Neville! There isn’t a person on the planet that hasn’t been traumatized by your grandmother! Get over it!” Ron snapped.
“I had to live with her!” Neville declared.
“Death Eaters were traumatized by that woman,” Lucius said drolly. “I don’t see why he should feel any differently.”
“Merlin help the woman that wants to marry you,” Hermione said sounding as if she were thinking of the war itself. “I went over to help him with potions over the summer after the Battle of Hogwarts. I had to convince her I was a lesbian before she let me in to see him.”
“Who haven’t you been doing?” Harry asked in shock.
“Not women!” she snapped at him adding, “I think you would have said you would do women as well just to get out of the shadow of that vulture hat of hers!”
Harry was silent a moment before he nodded and murmured, “Point made.”
“She doesn’t do girls,” George sighed.
“There’s one fantasy down the tubes,” Fred whispered, both dashing an imaginary tear from their eyes.
“Is that fire whiskey?” I asked, when I saw the little ugly man in the brown robes pull something from his desk and drink from it. “It’s not polite to be selfish.”
Hermione sniffed in the air. “It doesn’t smell like fire whiskey.”
“It’s a calming draft,” the man slurred.
“No, a calming draft smells like lavender. That smells like…”
The man dropped to the middle of the floor. Fred rushed over to him and checked his pulse. “Okay, he’s out!”
“What’s going on?” I asked them.
“Knock out drops,” George told me as both he and his brother were carrying the man back over to his chair. “Fred and I wanted to see if our new formula worked.”
We then watched as the two applied what Hermione called muggle makeup to his face. By the time they were finished with the man he looked like a garish clown and yet ever so much better as well. Sad really.
“Why didn’t we just leave?” Remus asked.
“The doors are warded so that we can’t leave the building,” Snape told him. “They changed that after the last meeting. We’re prisoners here until the man they are currently putting into muggle women’s wear says so.”
“How long does that potion last?” Hermione asked casually.
“Oh we have at least another…” Fred started.
“...Good two hours,” George finished.
Hermione went over to Snape and whispered to him something that had the man pulling her over to the nearest closet. Sick.
But this was not nearly as sick as the man in front of us, not by half. He looked like a whore I had been propositioned by on Knockturn Alley. I shuttered when I realized that the whore in question was more than likely a man. It was a good thing I was sober enough at the time to care what he… no…she…not really…whatever…looked like.
“You know he looks like a whore I met once over in Knockturn Alley,” Lucius murmured. “Thank Merlin I was too drunk to...Oh Merlin, it might have been a man!” He proceeded to join Snape and Hermione in the closet.
“You mean that they…” I started.
“Oh yes! Fuck me now!” Hermione exclaimed, cutting me off.
“Apparently so,” Remus answered blandly.
Moonie and I played cards for the next two hours, as Harry and Ron played chess, Hermione was being “occupied” by the two former Slytherins, and Fred and George were playing around with their new doll, which now was wearing a wig of blond spiral curls and was wearing a child’s sailor outfit along with a full nappy. All in all, it was time better spent than spilling our guts to that idiot.
A mussed up Hermione came strolling out of the closet, walking a little funny, but otherwise looking content and very well sated. Snape was next out and doing something I had never seen him do before. He was smiling. It wasn’t a sneer, but an honest to Merlin smile. Malfoy was the next one out of the closet, looking as angry as I’ve ever seen him.
“What could you possibly want with him?” Lucius asked her. “I’m rich! I can give you everything you could possibly want!”
“Yes, but he gives me what I need,” she told him. “Sorry.” She sat down, made an alarmed, pain filled squeak and jumped up again.
Snape went over to where she was, sat down and pulled her into his lap. Letting out a long sigh, she settled against him as she whispered, “You better kiss it and make it better later.”
His smile widened. “You know I will, my sweet witch.”
“Oh pul-lease!” Malfoy raged, waking up the ugly little man.
The twins rushed back over to their chairs and everyone just waited. He blinked at all of us, looking at us suspiciously. Before looking at himself. He made a choked sound that I must say I’ve never heard a man make before. I imagine it’s akin to the sound a man would make if his balls were in a vice that was slowly being tightened on them. I shuttered at the thought of that. I also crossed my legs. I must make a vow, I will never think of vices and balls in the same sentence again. Though now that I think of it…
“Out! Get out now!!!!” the ugly little man in the girl’s sailor’s dress roared.
NOTE TO THERAPIST—THIS GROUP IS IMPOSSIBLE. I’M REQUESTING A TRANSFER TO THE CRIMINALLY INSANE WARD OF ST. MUNGOS. THEY MAYBE VIOLENTLY INSANE, BUT THEY ARE SAFER TO BE AROUND THAN THIS LOT!
***
Thank you for reading!! Please take the time to review!!