Chosen

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The next three days flew by in an awkward haze, one melding into the other until he could no longer tell them apart. Remus didn't know how he should act around his fellow Marauders, especially since they all knew his secret. Well, most of it anyway. The information had been passed from Sirius to James, and from James to Peter. James had already confronted him about it, and only acted a little different; he had taken to hiding his arse around Remus, making sure that his front always faced the werewolf.

It was comical, his ignorance. As if Remus would ever be attracted to him. Sirius ignored him, much like Remus himself had done to the Animagus, and while that hurt him, he understood the need for space. Now Peter... Peter refused to even look at him, and would scurry away like his animal counterpart whenever Remus entered the room. Wormtail was probably sickened by the fact that Remus fancied blokes instead of birds.

He sighed and tapped his quill against his lips, running the feathery tip across his mouth. He twitched at the ticklish sensation but repeated the action, focusing on the book in front of him. The Secrets of the Werewolf, by Manrick Hops, stared up at him. He was currently reading the chapter that dealt with mating, hoping to find a way around Moony's obsession with Sirius Black. The words bond can be broken jumped out at him, and he moved his quill to the parchment next to the book, poised to take notes.

Concerning the topic of mating, a mate will be chosen between the 15th and 18th year of a werewolf's life, if they survive that long. Said mate will be chosen based on sexual attraction, dominant or submissive tendencies, and the level of connection between mate and wolf. After the mate has become sexually active with the werewolf, the bond can only be broken by the deaths of either involved. If intercourse has not yet occurred, the bond can be broken by rejection of the chosen mate, be it by verbal or physical refusal.

"Oh god," he breathed, shocked. He dropped his quill on the table and sat back, eyes staring blankly ahead.

I can break the claim. All I have to do is tell Sirius. He'll reject me of course, the perfectly heterosexual bloke that he is, and I'll be free. Holy fuck. I'll be free!

Elated, he skimmed the rest of the page, noting that he was unable to so much as kiss another person until Sirius had either accepted or rejected him. He shrugged, unconcerned; he wasn't a sexual being anyway, and had only had a few liaisons with girls. None of them had progressed farther than illicit groping, so the loss of contact didn't bother him. Remus only wanted Sirius anyway.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, his elation fading as he realized that he wanted Sirius; wanted to be with him. A sudden sting on his scalp caught his attention, and he pulled his hand away, laying it on his lap. True, he wanted Sirius, desperately, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"Moony?"

Remus froze and clenched his fist, slowly turning his head toward the intruder. He was definitely lacking in awareness, seeing as how Sirius had come upon him and he hadn't noticed. As the Animagus walked closer Remus realized that the book was open, and he shut it quickly, flipping it over so that the cover was hidden.

"Moony, I..."

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"Hello."

Lily Evans popped up behind Sirius, her usually vibrant red hair dull in the low lighting of the library. Sirius stopped, shoulders tense, cheeks tinged a soft pink. The blush made Remus' gut clench, and he wanted to know how far down the color went; if it tasted as delicious as it looked.

"Remus, there's a Prefect meeting in half an hour, in McGonagall's office. Are you coming?"

He shook his head slightly, dismissing his wayward thoughts. He nodded to Lily and she left, skirt arching in a delicate half circle. When she was out of his corner, he returned his attention to his friend, an eyebrow raised in question.

"You were saying?"

"Oh, right." Sirius cleared his throat, made eye contact and then looked away, his blush slowly fading.

"I... dammit, Moony!"

Remus blinked, confused by the sudden outburst. Sirius walked closer, his stride quick and sure. Remus stood, one hand wrapped around the wand in his pocket. When Sirius reached him, he took a step back, overwhelmed by the emotions pouring off of the other boy. Fear, anger, frustration, sadness, hope. Before he could fully ponder the strange mixture, he was engulfed in the scent of Sirius. He made a choked noise in the back of his throat before throwing his arms around his friend, holding the other as tightly as he was being held.

"I'm sorry. I hated to ignore you, but I needed time to think. It's not every day that I learn one of my best mates is in to blokes. I realized that I don't care, Moony. I don't. You're still the same person, and I accept you, gay tendencies and all." The words were muffled against Remus' shoulder, Sirius' warm breath ghosting over his flesh.

Remus gave a breathy laugh and tentatively ran his hand through Sirius' hair. The other boy drew in a deep lungful of air and stepped back, drawing away from Remus' embrace. His arms felt oddly empty, and he folded them across his chest to make up for the lack of a warm, willing body. Sirius chuckled and scuffed his shoes on the ground, another embarrassed blush staining his cheeks. A surge of arousal hit Remus, and he had to mentally restrain himself from moving forward and pulling Sirius into his arms again.

"It's ok, Padfoot. I know that it's a lot to take in and get used to. How do you think I feel?" Remus smiled, shrugging his shoulders to let his friend know that he was serious, and wasn't angry.

His wristwatch began to beep, and he jerked his arm up, noting that it was almost time for the Prefects meeting. He went back to his table a packed his bag, carefully placing everything inside. Sirius came up to him and began to help, reaching for the book before Remus could. The Animagus turned it over and started flipping through the pages, moving the book out of Remus' reach. The notes that he had taken earlier fluttered to the floor when Sirius got to the page he had been on; Remus tried to get it, but Sirius pulled out his wand and stunned him, stooping to pick the parchment.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!!!

"Moony, does this mean what I think it does?"

He couldn't answer, and wouldn't have if he was able.

"Mating? Remus, what is this?" Sirius turned to him, a wild gleam in his grey eyes.

Concentrating with all of his might, Remus silently performed the counter-spell to de-stun himself. He wasn't very proficient at wandless magic, but could do enough if the need ever arose. He snatched his book back and held it protectively against his chest, heart beating twice as fast as normal.

"It's nothing, Sirius. Nothing. I have to go now."

Remus grabbed his bag and left, hoping that Sirius wouldn't be able to make a connection between his newly discovered sexuality and mating.

I am so fucked.

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