Harry Potter and the Forbidden Desires

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November 7

"Oh for Merlin's sake, your bloody hair is fine!" Blaise yelled at Draco, rolling his eyes as the blonde checked his hair for the tenth time that morning. The blonde turned to glare at him.

"No, it is not, Blaise. This one strand keeps sticking out. It's horrible."

"You know bloody well that it's not. You're just stalling."

"How do you know?"

"Since when do you really give a damn about your hair, Draco? We both know it's just an act you put on so that everyone thinks you're all high and mighty. Just forget it and let's go. I want some food." Blaise grumbled as he opened the door to their bedroom and walked out.

Draco glared as the boy left, but stopped his ministrations on his hair and followed Blaise out of his room and out of the Slytherin common room. Together, the boys walked toward the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Actually, Blaise," Draco began in his famous Malfoy drawl as they walked. "I do give a damn about my hair. It's not just an act, you git."

"Merlin, Drake," Blaise laughed. "You really are a ponce!"

Draco whipped around at him, giving him his best glare. "Oh, shut it! And don't call me Drake," he sneered.

But Blaise was unfazed and laughed again. "Whatever you say...your highness."

"Why you...!"

Blaise barely managed to duck Draco's left hook as he hurried away down the hall.

"Calm down, Draco. I was just kidding." He gave a soft chuckle when he saw that Draco's annoyed expression remain the same.

"Oh yeah? Call me anything other than my birth name and you just might find my fist shoved up your--!"

"Why hello, Draco, darling," a girlish voice came from behind them. "I'm sorry for interrupting you. What was that about your fist?"

"Nothing," Draco sneered at Blaise, with no real heat even behind it. He held out his arm for Pansy and walked with her inside the Great Hall, with Blaise following behind.

"Just in time, huh?" Blaise said, referring to the plate full of eggs that had just appeared before him as he sat down beside Draco. Pansy sat across them.

"Oooh, waffles and pancakes! My favorite!" Pansy shrilled, then proceeded to politely dig into said plate of delicious food. After a few forkfuls of syrup covered pancakes, she began to open her mouth to speak.

"Oh, no you don't, Pansy," Draco sighed, putting his own fork down. "I've told you my answer already, so don't even bother to ask."

Pansy pouted, looking a bit put out. But Draco knew she was only exaggerating her facial expressions. She was a very good actress. He often recommended to her that she should pursue that career. But really, it was just a trait that everyone eventually learned while being a Pureblooded Slytherin. Everyday, Draco, Pansy and Blaise had to disguise their true emotions with phony masks. That's how you survived.

For example, the Slytherin trio didn't really hate the Golden Trio of Gryffindor. Of course, they didn't like them but they didn't despise them enough to actually want to kill them. Yet, that's what everyone else saw and assumed.

Just like how everyone assumed Pansy Parkinson could be a bitch and was Draco's girlfriend. She was not. She was actually kind and friendly, once you got on her good side at least. And the thing with Pansy and Draco was...there actually was no thing. Draco was gay, and Pansy looked at him as if he was her brother. And vice versa.

"But Drakey dear!" Pansy wailed in the most annoying, girlish tone.

Thank Merlin Mother and Father decided to have only one child, Draco thought.

"No, Pansy. Just stop right now."

Pansy's eyes glared at Draco, but then a moment passed and they twinkled with a new kind of light. "Fine," Pansy said, smiling. "Then if you won't tell me, I know Blaise will."

The boys glanced at each other before their eyes looked over at her. "And why would that be?" Blaise asked slowly, eyebrow raised.

Pansy sneered a creepy smile. "Because I poured three drops of Veritaserum into your Pumpkin juice when you weren't looking."

Blaise's eyes widened while Draco's job dropped in a very uncharacteristically Malfoy manner. "Why you sneaky Slytherin...!"

"And that is why, my dear, I am named the Ice Princess of Slytherin. Really now, Drakey, I thought you knew better than to let your guard down around me," she teased with a wily glint behind her eye. "I always get what I want."

Draco gave her a fixed glare, his teeth clenched tight together. "Don't worry, 'dear'," he spat. "It won't happen again."

"Make sure that you don't. Now Blaise, dearie..."

Blaise rolled his eyes. Pansy never called him dearie.

"Who do you wank to thoughts of?"

"Weas--" He clapped his hand around his mouth before his traitorous mouth could say anymore. He glared with heat at the girl. Why the hell did she want to know that?!

"I thought you wanted to know about me?" Draco asked, also glaring at Pansy again. Actually, the glare he wore seemed to be permanently stuck onto his face.

Pansy smirked. "Is that an offer, Draco?" She laughed at his angry expression. "I know, I know, but I was curious. Now..." she looked at Blaise again. "Time for serious questions. What is your name?"

"Blaise Alexander Zabini." (I have no idea if that's true, but let's just stick with it, yeah?)

"Blaise, do you know who Draco Malfoy has a crush on?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Is Draco's crush yourself?"

Blaise shook his head. "No."

"But you two have had sex, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Corridors, Room of Requirement, Snape's office..."

Pansy's eyes widened, and she licked her lips. "Snape's office? ... Wow, that's hot. When was this?"

"During detention two weeks ago."

"Pansy! How is this relevant to the conversation?"

"Oh, hold on to your knickers, Draco. I was curious again."

"Well, the muggle saying is that Curiosity killed the cat." Pansy and Blaise both turned to glance at him, eyebrows raised. "What?" he defended. "I overheard Finnegan saying something about it once."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Ok, fine. Now, you said that you do know who Draco has a crush on?" Blaise nodded. "Then who is it?"

Blaise seemed to be struggling against Pansy's question, but they all knew it was to be of no use. Draco sighed in defeat and covered his face in his hands as he heard Blaise's voice.

" A Gryffindor."

"A Gryffindor? Really? And would I just happen to know this Gryffindork, Blaise?"

"Yes."

"Really?" she asked in false surprise. "Well, who is this charming young Gryffindor who snatched poor Draco's icy heart?"

"He's P--"

"Mail's here!" Draco quickly cried out, snatching his mail out of the air as his owl dropped off the Daily Prophet. Blaise, glad for the distraction, glanced up in time to see a Hogwarts barn owl swoop gracefully down near his plate. He saw that the owl carried an envelope in its beak. He gave the owl a bit of his toast and watched as it quickly took off. Then Blaise looked down at the envelope, ignoring the fight between Pansy and Draco that had erupted just now. Honestly, if he didn't know Draco was gay, he'd honestly say that they bicker just like an old married couple. He concentrated on the letter again, and noticed that no name was on the envelope. He immediately grew suspicious.

Well, the letter wasn't from his mum. Who else would be sending him letters? He cast several charms on the paper, but no hint of dark magic or ill intentions was present. So he decided to open it, and grew shocked at the contents inside.

Dear Blaise Zabini,

I will not tell you my name, but then you don't really need to know. For now, anyways. Still, please heed my words with care. If you read carefully and if I get a positive reaction from you, you'll learn my name soon enough.

Blaise Alexander Zabini, I am unsure of my feelings toward you. One might say that I am in love with you. But I'm too scared to really admit that. And I think you know why I'd be afraid. I've stumbled upon you while you were with Malfoy in the Room of Requirement, and I've seen you in the corridors with him. You two are probably very much in love, but I'm too stubborn to really fully understand that. I've seen the way you act when you're in class, when you're walking through the halls, when you're alone. I know every habit of yours by memory, just like I know that you are probably biting your thumb nail just reading this and that you're going to stop now because you think you might get caught.

Wow, this person is right, Blaise thought, quickly putting his hand with the nibbled-on-thumbnail under the table.

I know things about you that you might not even know about yourself. Does Malfoy know all that?
I probably sound very much stalker like, and maybe I am a stalker, although rest assured I do not follow you down into the Slytherin dormitory.

Shame, really, Blaise snickered to himself.

But I know that these feelings for you won't go away. Whatever these feelings are... I can't help but watch you, I can't help from staring at you, trying to read your emotions through your wonderful chocolate colored eyes. I can't help these wonderful emotions racing through me. I'd compare it with butterflies in my stomach, but I'm not too fond of insects, sorry.

In the end, though, all this doesn't matter anyways. When I next see you in the corridor or in class, you will glare back at me with contempt. When I am silent and staring at you, you will treat me as if I don't even exist. But I'm alright with that. I rather deal with you not knowing than face rejection.

I can see that you love Malfoy very much. You two really look great together, although I do loathe to admit it. The real purpose of this letter was so that you can finally know that there is someone out there who really likes you. Admires you even. You can burn this letter once you've finished reading it, or throw it away or tear it. Either way, I'm just glad to get these emotions out finally. I'm glad that you know of my feelings towards you now.

I love you (I think) very much. With all my heart.

Thanks, with love,

Your Very Secret Admirer


Blaise noticed that he was biting his nails again, and he sighed.

Just great. The people who don't think Draco and Pansy are together instead think that I'm with him, he thought. But that certain line of thinking only lasted for a second before a small smirk managed its way onto his lips. Just by how this letter was written, he was sure it was a Gryffindor. Who else wrote that way and also had enough courage to tell their crush their feelings with such boldness? Yep, he was certain that it was one of those goody good lions.

What a challenge...

He couldn't wait to tell Draco, with Pansy not around.

~~~~

Harry and Ron's POV

"Ron, I'm going to try and say this with as much friendliness and brotherly love for you that I possibly can without having smoke erupt from my ears." A pause. "SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!!"

"But Harry!" Ron whimpered, his voice muffled. His head was buried in his arms as he repeatedly hit his head on the table. "You should have seen his face! He didn't even bother to smile or anything. He didn't even look around to see if I was watching him or something. He just stuffed my letter into his bag and took off with Malfoy behind him." His head rose above his arms, but his voice had dropped to a lower pitch and his eyes became blank. "They're probably fucking in a classroom right now as we speak."

Harry took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. "Honestly Ron, I saw his face too, you know. While you were too busy complaining about how he'd react to your letter, I saw him smile. We both know that if he really hated your letter, he'd have burnt it or done something worse. Either way we'd know that he hated it. But he didn't."

"He didn't do anything!"

"Isn't that better than throwing the letter away or tearing it up into pieces?" He eyed Ron, trying to make the boy understand how much he was over reacting. His technique must have worked, which was a big surprise to him, because his friend finally sighed.

"Yeah, I guess. You're right, Harry. You're always right," he said softly.

Harry gave him a cocky grin. "Barely figuring that out now?" That smart remark earned him a good punch on his shoulder. Harry laughed. "So what did you tell Hermione to finally let her help you write that letter?"

Ron glanced at Hermione, who sat farther down the table with his sister and the Patil twins. "I told her that I have this big crush on someone and if I could use her help in composing a letter for him. She kept asking who it was for hours until I finally told her. I tell you, she's a nosy right piece of--"

"Ron," Harry said sternly.

"Ugh. Right, well we went through a lot of papers until I finally got the words down. In the end, I think she finally grew impatient and just told me what to right for the introduction. After that, I dunno, it was pretty simple. The words seemed to write themselves soon."

"Well, I could tell that you had help by how you wrote. You've never had a way with words before."

"Neither do you!" Ron countered.

"So? I don't have to write love letters." True, Ron thought. "So now what?" Harry asked him. The other boy looked at him.

"I just...wait? Yeah, I think I'll wait. If he somehow manages to write back, then I guess things will go from there. Until then, I'll just wait."

"That'll be bloody hard, yeah?"

"Longest time in my life..."

Harry glanced at Ron's slumped posture and hope filled eyes, and grew worried. Zabini better not reject him, he thought angrily. He never wanted to have Ron look this defeated ever again. Harry wasn't one for blackmail or threatening, but he'd make sure to make Zabini's a living hell if he tried anything.

~~~~

Draco and Blaise's POV In Their Common Room

"It has Gryffindor written all over it," Draco smirked after he looked up from reading the letter. Blaise nodded.

"I know."

"Who do you think it is?"

Blaise pondered for a second. "Well, I have my guesses. Not that I'm going to tell you anytime soon, though." Both boys smirked at each other, until Draco crafted a small pout.

"So, does this mean no more sex, my love?"

Blaise snorted. "Who said that? But you're right. If this little admirer of mine sees me with you, it might break his heart. And I wouldn't want that, now would I?" He paused. "I think I'll send him something back."

"How do you know it's even a boy?"

"A gay man's intuition...?" Blaise guessed. They both chuckled.

"Who knows, Draco, this might be a fun challenge. And I've always loved challenges. Maybe I'll even like this person once I've met him."

Draco glanced at him. "For a follower of the Dark Lord, you don't seem to have much of a black heart."

"Who said anything about me being a follower of him? I wouldn't follow that fucked up thing for nothing. Right after school, I'm leaving anyway. Might travel a bit. By that time, hopefully Potter will have killed him."

Draco looked at him, disbelieving. "You're going to join the light side?"

Blaise fidgeted a bit, hesitating. "Maybe. I rather be neutral, but there's no such fucking thing in a war to be neutral. You fight or you die." He glanced at Draco as he said this. "What about you? Joining the Dark side with Lucius?"

Draco grew quiet, unsure. Of course, he wanted to appease his father. But he already knew that he wasn't one for killing. Over the last two summers he had witnessed several accounts of murder and rape of those who defied the Dark Lord. He couldn't bear the thought of doing such horrible deeds. He hated the Death Eaters. They were heartless and cruel. Sometimes, his father would even act as if they were just mere assignments to be done. He hoped his father really didn't think that way. But as soon as school was over, he was supposed to join his father and Voldemort in a ceremony to receive his Dark Mark. He shuddered. He didn't want that.

He agreed with Blaise. Maybe he should join Harry and his Light Side. Dumbledore was dead, sadly. But now Headmistress McGonagall was in charge. Perhaps he could go to them. Potter was so suspicious about him, he'd probably check him for spells or lying. But Draco would do anything if it'd prevent him from becoming his most horrid nightmare. He did not want to be a follower of Voldemort. Despite all the teachings that his father and he had grown up with, he didn't want this. He screwed up his first attempt at becoming Potter's friend. Now was his second chance, and in return he'd get protection from the Order and eventually Potter's trust.

Draco smiled at Blaise, and got one in return. Both boys then walked up to their bedrooms to freshen up for the rest of the day's classes.

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Sue Donym---Thanks! I got this story pretty outlined already. I just have to type it all down now. And I'll try to not disappoint you.

LexieMalfoy---Thanks, hope you like this chapter.

Werewolf Mistress---I'm trying to make them longer. But thanks!

ZN18---Unique name... But yeah, I've always hated how Ron's portrayed as heartless and cruel in other stories. I've tried to make him bit softer. But in future chapters, I'm afraid Ron will have a bit of a temper that needs to get in check. But it won't be nothing that Hogwarts can't handle. Thanks for your review!

thrnbrooke---Well here it is. Hope you like!

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I hope you like this chapter. If not, be sure to tell me. That's the only way I'll know. But now that both sides finally are getting the hang of things, there will be more plot. don't worry. Next Chapter, which I'll try and get out next week, you'll see how Blaise acts to his admirer and how he acts towards Ron. And what about Draco and Harry? don't worry, they'll have their own drama soon.

And please!!! Review! If I don't get enough reviews, I'll probably be too sad to write anymore! Even a short one will do. I just want to know if you all enjoy this story or not.