Could You Love Me?

Author: TheSiner
Title: Could you love me?
Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama and some attempted humour :)
Pairings: Harry/Lucius; Draco/?; Severus/?(mentioned)
Word Count: ~ 140,000
Summary: HP/LM, slash, mpreg. Lucius forces Harry to marry him. Things get bad and then they get better. This is a story about two different people from different worlds trying to make it work. Complete.
Rating: For some sex, but there’s not that much of it.
Disclaimer: These characters are not my own and belong to J.K. Rowling and affiliates. I am not making any money.
Warnings: slash, mpreg - a boy having a baby, OOC (kind of), non-canon, not betaedited, dubious consent, A/U – it is the same old Wizarding world though. And there is angst and emotional suffering.
Setting:– after Harry’s fifth year. Lucius doesn’t get caught at the Ministry.
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THE THIRD PART – MAKING AMENDS

14. Something to read

Lucius had been sitting in the Library and contemplating the complicated situation for about an hour, when a house elf brought Lucius Malfoy a parcel, explaining that it had been brought by owl and was from Master Severus Snape. Lucius cast a spell unshrinking it. It was heavy, maybe a box, wrapped in natural brown paper and decorated with several soft blue and pink pompons. Aha, there was a stamp on the parcel: Flourish & Blott’s.

The blond wizard cast an unwrapping spell and saw that there was a pile of books and a little card with a picture of a baby who was sucking on his thumb. Man opened the card and read it. “Do your research,” Lucius recognized Severus’ barely readable, spidery handwriting, which looked sophisticated and elegant, but ironically was almost impossible to read if one didn’t have practice. And, of course, he recognised the irritating sense of humour. The wizard was almost afraid to look at the books.

The toddler on the card started wailing and Lucius banished it into the fireplace and turned his attention to the books.

What to Expect When You are Expecting

How to Survive your Pregnant Witch. Or Hormones Gone Awry

Overview of Wizarding Male Pregnancies in Last Three Hundred Years

How to Tame Your Inner Chimera. Overcome the Challenges of Bounded Life and Become a Better Spouse – an apparent insult.

He should send Snape “How to Get that Stick Out of Your Posterior” in return… which would fit in series of books - How not to scare away everyone who is mad enough to be thinking of getting under your robe that is too old-fashioned even for the Wizarding World.

Domesticate your Little Lion. What to do if Your Child is a Gryffindor. There was whole series like that, also: How to Breed Snakes Without Getting Bitten.
Lucius wasn’t sure if this was to help him to understand Harry better or a hint that… Salazar’s shorts! His second heir could be a Gryffindor! He hadn’t thought about that possibility yet…

One Thousand and Two Ways to Woo a Gryffindor

That was plainly ridiculous. Great, he had just become the proud owner of most embarrassing book collection a Slytherin could have! Who wrote all of this nonsense?

Wizards Who Love Other Wizards: Joys of Gay Sex - What the meaning of this? He didn’t need a book! Lucius opened to take a look inside… for Potter… a note fell out of book. Oh, one more present somewhere between a hint and insult… well… Lucius cast a spell to banish the book to the right shelf.

There were many books like this in Malfoy library. While One Thousand and Two Ways to Woo a Gryffindor would be considered offending and harmful for the young Malfoys, there was nothing wrong with the wizarding Kamasutra. It was available to every Malfoy offspring as soon as he learned to command house elves to get the book off the upper shelf.

Surprisingly the last book was Arranged Marriages: Blessing or Curse? By Sunshine Whitedove

Lucius had heard about the American b-… witch who was scandalous in the Wizarding Britain, because she had authored many scandalous books suggesting emancipation and modernization of the Wizarding society. Namely, forsaking their traditions.
That was invidious. Some traditionalist wizards even wanted to prohibit her books. Why had Snape sent him something like this! He couldn’t be serious. This…trolls’ babbling... he put the book aside.

However, after thumbing through some of the other books he got curious. Lucius opened the offensive book and decided to peek at the index table.

Well, there was a review of laws concerning arranged marriages; a chapter about arranged marriages in history, about psychological consequences experienced by wizards who was forced in unwanted marriages… maybe this could be useful after all… sometimes useful information could be found in the most unusual places.

Lucius has lived long enough and has learned something. No kind of knowledge should be scorned. Especially the kind no one suspected you might have. It gave one an advantage.

He didn’t had to agree with that Whitedove person, he could just be informed about some different opinions.

The addition to his library was such a Snape-ish gift indeed – be a good boy and do your research.

It seemed that after the incident with the mind reading Severus had became concerned about Harry Potter’s well being. Lucius smirked – he would have to be careful. It was not a good idea to mess with a Potions Master who knew his craft as well as Severus. The consequences could be nasty. Even if the man was Lucius’s friend, he was always a Slytherin first.

***

Harry was lying on the bed, arms tightly wrapped around his body as if trying to keep himself from falling apart. However, it did not help with the feeling that not only Harry himself, but also the world around him was going to pieces.

So much had happened. First, he had been forced to face Voldemort and had almost blown up more than the dark wizard. If that hadn’t been enough, the forced marriage and now… Sweet Merlin… A baby.

Harry almost couldn’t believe… A real, live baby inside him!

The news was so shocking that they managed to shock Harry out of the desperate state he had slipped into. Or maybe the potions had done that. The boy was no stranger to mood alteration potions. He had practically lived on those for about a week after the last confrontation with Voldemort.

And then Lucius Malfoy comes, sits on the side of his bed and sounds so contrite and sincere.

Harry had not expected anything like that from the man. Never ever. He had been lying there, dreading the next blow, which, to Harry’s immense relief hadn’t come. The boy was so relieved. He had been so scared…

Had he been serious, had Lucius Malfoy meant everything…?

It had been… tears prickled the green eyes. No one… no one had ever talked to him like that… no one. Not in so many words. And it was Lucius Malfoy of all people… maybe he was being naïve and foolish again and Malfoy just wanted something from him.

But he had sounded so sincere and rubbed his shoulder… and he talked about the baby and being family and being a good father for the baby.

The boy had been afraid, terrified… but Lucius said he will not hurt him and he was sorry… and he had sounded as if he was going to care for the child.

It could be true – as the man had put it. Maybe Malfoy really had no idea that he was hurting Harry. The boy wasn’t sure yet, the apologies were nice and everything, but he had gotten hurt anyway. Wasn’t it a bit too late?

Malfoy had declared that Harry could choose what to do with his life now and have anything he wanted; he just had to ask…

Harry sat up, drew his legs to his chest and wound arms around his legs. Then his eyes were drawn to the neatly wrapped little parcel that sat on the bed next to him. Chocolate?

If Harry thought about it, he never got, what he wanted, so he had stopped asking for things a long time ago. Was he supposed to believe that Lucius Malfoy would be the one to give him those things? Harry didn’t even know what those things were what he longed for. No, that was not completely true… he had always wanted to have his parents back, a family.

But that was something he really couldn’t have. Parents. Instead, Harry was going to become a parent himself.

It was all so fucking wrong!

It meant, he was supposed to be a family with Lucius Malfoy and the baby, even if Harry was not sure if he wanted that. The other man had said he wanted Harry though and the baby, that he was going to take care of them.
It was not about Lucius’ words. It was his sincerity and regret what had shaken the young man.

Harry didn’t feel like he had much choice anyway. Now, with the baby on the way, he needed someone to take care of him. No, someone to take care of them, he corrected himself. The boy couldn’t just leave, return to the school or go to the Weasleys and pretend that nothing had changed. Not if he was going to have a baby. Lucius’ baby.

The chocolate was the best he had ever tasted.

“Stupid, impressionable Gryffindor,” Harry groaned chewing on delicious treat.


15. Adapting

Lucius left the book fall on the floor with a flop. Usually he took more care with his books, but the wizard had little respect for Sunshine Whitedove andArranged Marriages: Blessing or Curse? even if he agreed that she was not completely useless.

Of course a lot of it was just anarchistic babbling… she was definitely making giant taller than it was. However, Lucius could not disregard some of her conclusions after everything he had experienced. There was a chapter discussing witches and wizards (Ms Whitedove insisted on calling them ‘children’) who was ‘forced in unwanted arranged marriage in young years’.

She called forced marriages a form on slavery. Whitedove claimed that ‘children’ were not emotionally mature enough for marriage or relationship in general, that their older spouses often abused their power over the younger ones. That kind of marriages was destructive, humiliating, degenerating… and so on, and so forth. Those ‘children’ developed neuroses, depressions, became ill, miscarriages were common (the reason why many pureblood families didn’t have many children – not that Lucius agreed); there were also some recorded cases of suicides…

Suicide… that was something a Slytherin would never understand. Survival, self-preservation no matter what it cost, that was their way. But the Gryffindors were different. They were self-sacrificing, foolish, over-emotional; reckless… the man had a very strong urge to check on his young husband. But no, no Gryffindor would try to harm himself if that endangered some one else and surely Harry remembered that there was a baby now.

Oh, Merlin… Lucius gulped. ‘Miscarriages were common’… no, that just couldn’t happen. It was unacceptable! The more Lucius was thinking about the baby, the more used to the idea he got and he was becoming aware of the fact that he was actually starting to look forward to having another son or daughter. A little witch with sparkling green eyes.

To think that Lucius had almost ruined it all. He needed another drink.


***

Next morning Harry ate his breakfast as dutifully as he could. That was not so hard, because everything was delicious. He had noticed that the food was really different at the Manor from what the elves served at Hogwarts. Every time Harry was served a meal, he found at least one thing he had never even heard of on his plate. Like quail eggs, lentil sprouts and blue milk for breakfast and the desserts were just amazing.

Harry knew that he had to eat, because he had to take care of one more life now.

He had thought about this a lot. His mother had sacrificed her life for him. How could he give anything less to his child? It was not baby’s fault that it was nor planned nor wanted. The little life growing inside him was innocent and didn’t deserve to suffer. Harry promised himself, that the baby would become wanted at least.

The boy almost chocked on his blue milk when he heard a knock on the door and his husband came in… carrying a large bouquet of white roses.

Lucius was watching the boy with a breakfast tray over his lap and fork in his hand, which had stopped halfway to his destination - mouth.

“Don’t let me interrupt you, I just… brought you some flowers,” seeing the bafflement on Harry’s face, Lucius started doubting if flowers had been such a good idea. He had felt like offering some kind of token of reconciliation. Instead, he probably looked foolish and maybe even presumptuous.

But it was to late to change his mind, Lucius levitated one of the crystal vases on the bedside table, summoned some water with quick aguamenti and deposited the roses.

Harry gulped audibly and his ears turned red. Merlin! Flowers! No one has ever given him flowers!
The teenager was feeling uncomfortable in presence of the aloof, pureblood wizard with his perfect, aristocratic manners, elegant gestures and all that authoritative air around him.

“May I sit down?” Lucius inquired motioning in the direction of chair with his cane, to convince Harry that he was not going to accost the boy in his bed… or something.

Harry hesitated, but remembered that he had decided to give his husband a chance or at least just watch the older wizard for some time, to see if he had been sincere yesterday. He tried to concentrate on all the things Malfoy had told him. In addition, he had a baby to think about… how would his child feel if its parents could not stand being in the same room.

Harry nodded not really being able to find his voice.

Lucius sat on the chair near Harry’s bed. The messy haired youth had lowered his fork, but not resumed eating.

“Don’t you enjoy your breakfast?” The wizard asked tentatively.

“Oh, no, it’s not.. I do. Everything is really good,” Harry murmured and was pulled out of his daze, starting eating again.

“Is there anything you would like to ask me?” Lucius offered.

Ask? He could ask questions? What could he ask… “Why’s my milk blue?” Harry blurted out.

Lucius’ lips quirked at the corners as he tried to suppress the smile: “It is from a blue cow. If you don’t like it we can order pink, yellow or… not violet, the violet kind is really not that good.”

“Oh, no, that’s fine! I don’t mind it blue!” Harry protested.

They were sitting in silence for some time, while Harry was eating. It was quite uneasy silence and the boy didn’t feel comfortable to be watched eating. Then Lucius rose from his seat.

“I will be going then. Call Chirpy and she will let me know if you need anything,” the wizard recited and tried to leave his young husbands bedroom not looking as if he was running.

Harry regarded the bouquet of roses. The flowers were more then nice, they were simply gorgeous. They fit perfectly in the room with the fancy furniture, the French windows and the art on the walls, but they didn’t fit Harry, or Harry was the one who didn’t fit.

***

Lucius released a breath he had been holding. That had been… strained… But it could be expected. He could be grateful that Harry hadn’t yelled at him.

Maybe it had been ‘yes’. Maybe Harry was giving him a chance?

Lucius couldn’t really afford to interpret his husband’s behaviour as anything, but that.

***

In the afternoon, one of the house elves delivered Lucius the daily mail. Owls didn’t fly directly in the Manor.
There were many good reasons for that; however, the real one was that some past Malfoy mistresses had considered owls ‘unhygienic’. Therefore, all the mail was delivered to the elf who was sitting at the special window where Posty (Malfoy mail elf) received the mail and sorted it.

This has become a tradition, the way things were, but also convenient, because Malfoys received plenty of mail every day, which had even doubled since Harry Potter, entered the family.

Some letters Posty burned instantly like weekly death threats, howlers, Harry’s fan mail and advertisements. The rest of the letters were delivered to Lucius Malfoy. It was the prerogative of the head of the family to decide if the mail addressed to the other members of the family should reach them.

Lucius skimmed through the pile of letters. Ministry, business partners, invitations…

Draco’s weekly rant, as Lucius called it himself. He tore the letter open with an amused expression, to see what Draco was writing this weak…Aha, the regular – whining about unfair professors, terrible food, annoying schoolmates, almost getting caught in embarrassing position…I n potions’ classroom! The man chuckled.
If Severus only knew, Lucius didn’t appreciate the detail though. Draco was his son after all.
And there it was, the part about the ‘Mudblood’ and ‘Weasel’ stalking him… well, Draco was most certainly exaggerating quite much. Lucius seriously doubted that the youngest Weasley boy was going to drag his son in broom closet and have his wicked way with him. Nevertheless, his son’s letters never failed to amuse Lucius. Draco should write fiction…

Yes… his little husband’s friends… with all the trouble he had almost forgotten about the issue… He had received too many letters from Harry’s friends and Professors during last months. In the beginning, they were just inquiring about Harry, wanting to know, why the boy hasn’t contacted them. Gradually they had turned into threats. To call the Aurors, sue him; hex some of his body parts off.

It was probably time to do something about that.

***

Harry had spent the day in his bed and by the afternoon, he had become familiar with every nook on the posts of his four-poster bed, following with his eyes the carved vines from the base to the top and back.
The boy was deadly bored and bad thoughts kept plaguing him. Harry was almost relieved when Chirpy informed him that Master Lucius had asked the boy to join him for dinner half past six. Of course also slightly nervous. He didn’t quite trust the man yet and was worried that it would get very awkward.

Harry was ready to go, wherever he had to go when Chirpy popped up in front of him and squeaked that master could not leave the room looking like that!

“Master change! No going this!”

Harry frowned. His jeans were slightly worn, but, hey, they were jeans! Jeans were supposed to look a bit scruffy. And the maroon sweater was kind of nice; it had been a present from Ron and Hermione… Then he looked at Chirpy who was blinking her large, tear-rimmed eyes, her lower lip trembling… Fine! Fine! Fine! He couldn’t stand that look!

Chirpy’s expression turned into wide grin and Harry couldn’t even blink before he was striped down to his boxers. “Hey!” The boy exclaimed trying to wrap arms around his almost naked form. But before he could say anything more, something swished around him and he was standing clad in black slacks and white knitted sweater. It looked so soft, that Harry could not resist touching the fine material. Oh, and indeed, the sweater felt nicer than any knitting the boy had ever touched.

He wondered where the clothes had come for, though. Were they hand me downs from Draco? He didn’t want anything from that bastard. But they fit Harry so well, even the slacks. Did his build was similar to Malfoy’s?

“Master ‘arry very handsome!” The elf beamed.

Harry was opening his mouth to warn the exuberant creature not to do that ever again…but Chirpy was looking at him with so much adoration in her eyes… that he simply dropped it.

“Could you show me the way?” He asked instead.

Of course, Chirpy was ecstatic and eager to please.

***

Harry was looking around. He had not paid much attention to the interior before, due to the circumstances. The hall was long and it was done in dark green shades. Walls were covered with forest green tapestry wallpaper, flooring was a shade darker and perfectly clean and there were no signs of wear out. The decorations reminded him of Hogwarts only everything seemed much fancier – armours (one of them greeted Harry with polite bow), portraits of blond witches and wizards sneering or glaring at him. Large, heavy, engraved doors probably led to the other rooms, it looked like there were plenty of those. Some of them were half hidden behind dark (almost black, but it was really dark green) velvet hangings.

However, the most amazing were the lamps emanating dim, soft light in the hallway. At least Harry liked them the best. Those lamps were simple globes, hanging in copper chains from hooks on the sides of hallways. But the amazing part was little pixies fluttering inside the domes and obviously emanating the light. That was so cute. The dark haired boy stopped for the moment to watch them.

The walk ended too soon for the curious teenager as they stopped by the door, which consisted of two, parts; also large and decorated with cravings and snake-shaped handlers.

Chirpy opened one side of the door, motioned Harry to go further and boy stepped inside.

***

Lucius Malfoy’s private dinning room was decorated as most of the mansion these days, showing off his wealth and good taste, representing tradition and family’s heritage.

Surprisingly, the room was done in various shades of browns with some accents in reds and maroons. Apparently green was not the domineering the colour scheme of the Malfoy Manor.
The earthy tones in addition to floating candles and burning fireplace the atmosphere was really cosy. There were several paintings on the walls, but none of them seemed to be portraits of past Malfoys. Harry could understand why – it would be impossible to eat with someone glaring or sneering at you and having the bites counted. All of the paintings were unmoving still lives, fruit and flower pieces, different from always active and talking portraits, but very calming.

There was a loveseat and two armchairs by the fireplace and a small square table in the middle of the room and two padded chairs. Lucius was already sitting on one of them.

However, when Harry came in, the blond wizard instantly rose from his seat to help Harry with his chair. When the boy was seated, Lucius kindly offered to serve him. The younger man was really surprised about the offer, why would the lord of the Manor serve him if he could order a house elf? Maybe it was some kind of wizarding custom he knew nothing about.

Harry just nodded when Lucius offered him something what seemed to be mashed potatoes and then three kinds of meat and a lot of various greens. He doubted that they served any really horrible food here and Harry was not spoiled. After practically living on plain toast and beans at Dursleys…
He had been lucky that Petunia had been convinced that they had to have vegetables with every meal, because all modern families that were concerned with their health had them, right? Of course, since Vernon and Dudley had detested anything healthy, the vegetables had always gone to Harry.

Lucius was apparently having wine with his supper, but Harry was content to have his pumpkin juice.

When they were finished with main course older wizard announced that it was time for dessert, which immediately popped up in front of them. It looked, like a flower.

“These are sugar-coated pink orchids with cinnamon and pie-apple ice cream. It’s very good,” Lucius explained noting Harry’s confusion.

And of course, it was very good. Delicious actually.

When they had finished the dessert, Lucius proposed: “Would you like to join me for a cup of tea?”

The small table, absence of house elves, Lucius Malfoy serving him food and the room itself, - it all created strangely intimate atmosphere and made Harry feel… well, not really uncomfortable or uneasy, no, more like awkward and shy.

And now the tea. There was something extremely intimate about having tea together, wasn’t there? Not just having a mug of it for breakfast, but also turning it into a separate event. Harry just nodded and dropped on the loveseat in front of fireplace. Lucius took one of the armchairs.
This was good. Harry should have considered that by taking the loveseat he was giving the man an opportunity to sit next to him. It was just his luck that Lucius had not taken it. Harry was not sure if he could stand being that close to the man right now.

“Harry,” Lucius began. “There are some matters we need to discuss. I wanted to postpone this conversation, but unfortunately, it cannot wait. You see, I never informed the public about your disappearance. As far as everyone was concerned, you were staying at the Manor and not contacting anyone. Your friends have been very worried while you were gone and I think we should find a way to reassure them. Otherwise, I am afraid they might storm the Manor.”

“Will I have to do anything?” The boy asked uncertainly. He did not felt ready for many things at the moment. Everything was just a bit much for him. He wanted to see his friends, Harry did, but on the other hand, he didn’t, but if they were there… Merlin, but he was confused about what was that he felt.

Lucius mouth curved in something akin to a smile, it was a bit eerie, but the young man woke very gentle feelings in him.

“You will not have to do anything you don’t want to. It is your decision to make, Harry. If you don’t want to deal with the situation yourself, I am sure I can think of something else, but that depends on you.”

Relief washed over the boy. His decision? So if he wanted to hide for a while, that would be all right?

“I am not sure that I really like to see them, right now,” Harry admitted quietly.

Lucius frowned at that. What was wrong with The-Boy-Who-Lived and his Golden Trio? But he was going to push Harry as little as possible: “Is there anyone you would like to see? Someone who could assure others that you are in good health?”

..Someone who would understand and accept, who would keep it secret, someone he could trust, someone who would never try to manipulate him... “Remus!” Harry exclaimed in sudden realization.

“Excuse me?”

The boy blushed embarrassed of his emotional reaction: “Remus Lupin, professor Lupin. Could he come?”

Lucius almost winced… Lupin? The werewolf? In the Manor? The portraits would be unbearable for weeks after that. However, Harry had sounded so hopeful and was looking expectantly at him with those large, beautiful, emerald eyes…
It was impossible to answer with anything else than: “Of course, would you like me to owl him?”

Harry just nodded happily with a small, shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth which made Lucius want to answer with a smile of his own… Salazar’s shorts! The wizard snapped out of it (whatever it was). Was he just smiling at his little husband like some worshipping fool? Almost drooling in his tea… Disgusting!

Had Harry Potter just manipulated him into letting a werewolf invade the Malfoy Manor? Thank Merlin the boy didn’t realize it and did it unintentionally or Lucius would have to obliviate him. And himself after that… maybe he should still obliviate himself?

“That’s decided then,” the older wizard announced with all the dignity he could master. “Another important issue is your… pregnancy,” Lucius still had problem with saying that aloud. “We should decide when and how to announce it.”

Harry froze. Announce? In ‘The Prophet’? Like their marriage? Oh, no, no, no… he couldn’t let anybody know! He just couldn’t!

Lucius noticed his husband’s obvious distress: “It is also your decision. I am not going to do anything without your agreement.”

Harry let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Can I think about it?” He asked.

“Certainly,” Lucius agreed. It was not urgent. That could wait if that pleased Harry.
“However we will not be able to hide it for long and it is always better if you are the first who tells the story, because then you can choose how to tell it.”

Harry nodded contemplatively. Then the boy drew a deep breath: “You said I could ask questions?” He inquired weakly.

“And I meant it,” was Lucius’s answer.

“Then... could I ask… What about Anne?”

The blond wizard frowned: “Who is Anne?”

“The lady. From Mapletown. I was living with her when you… you know…”

Harry looked as if he was afraid that Lucius would hit or curse him. The man suppressed a sigh.

“Harry, you know that I am truly…” the word didn’t come easily past his lips, “sorry, for the way I treated you. I didn’t realise that I was causing you so much grief.”

Harry nodded. It was so awkward. Somewhat embarrassing.

Lucius cleared his throat: “The muggle you were living with? What about her?”

“She must be worried,” Harry blurted out. “I left without any warning; she must be thinking that something bad has happened to me.”

“You have nothing to worry about. She received a letter, informing that you had returned to your family,” Lucius didn’t understand why the muggle was so important, but if she was important to Harry… this was a good chance to make his intention’s obvious to the boy, to show his goodwill. “You could visit her if you would like to.”

The younger wizard was stunned. Visit? He was allowed to visit! Really? That would be great… no, he couldn’t. He would not be able to explain everything, to tell the truth, and Harry was not ready to lie to Anne. He was a terrible liar and she had been so nice.

The boy shook his head. His life was here now. It didn’t matter if he liked it or didn’t. Harry was tied to this house and this man with ties he would never be able to break.

“Then, maybe you could write her a letter?” Lucius decided to be generous, relieved that his husband was not attached to the muggle woman that much.

Harry nodded managing a small, very fake smile.

***

Right after walking Harry back to his room, the head of the Malfoy family sent a polite invitation to the werewolf, asking if it would be convenient for him to join Lucius and his husband for afternoon tea.

Lucius hoped that ‘The Prophet’ didn’t find out that now he was exchanging correspondence with werewolves. Such thing probably hadn’t happened in centuries. What lengths Lucius was ready to go to get in his husband’s good graces?

***

16. The visitor

Next morning, after eating his breakfast and obediently taking all of the necessary potions, Harry had gotten really restless. He found it impossible to brood. Oh, Harry knew that it was because of the potions, he could almost feel them coursing through his body, lightening it, making the colours around him look brighter and urging him to get up and do something.

It felt good. Harry imagined that getting drunk would feel bout the same. He also knew that he could use this kind of potions only for a certain period of time and after that he would be forced to struggle on his own… but after was after. One day at a time, Headmaster Dumbledore had told him, when Harry had been lying in the hospital bed, horrified by what had happened, by what he had done…

The boy called Chirpy and asked if it was possible that he explored a bit.

Chirpy had been shocked that master had wanted to take a walk and had not ordered her to show him around sooner! She almost started crying, but then calmed down and informed Harry that master Lucius had already given her a list of ‘safe rooms and not so safe rooms’ in case if Harry wanted to see more of the Manor.

Was Harry a Gryffindor? Did all the Weasleys have red hair? Of course, Harry wanted to see everything!

The boy had been very relieved to find out that he was not going to be held in his rooms like a prisoner.

***

Harry would have to write a book to describe everything he saw that day in the Manor. It was an old and magical place and a large one as well. In fact the house enormous and magnificent.

He had to start exploring with his own suit. It turned out that there were three rooms – a bedroom, an anteroom and one more – kind of cabinet or hobby room. Not to mention the huge bathroom and the balcony. Harry had also located his trunk and discovered that his belongings had been retrieved from Anne’s. It was so good to have his wand again.

Harry discovered that the planning of Malfoy Manor was surprisingly reasonable (unlike Hogwarts for example) and did not defy all laws of logic. It was a circular building with corridors and stairs meeting in the hall that was the middle of the house. That way every wing, every part of the Malfoy Manor was accessible from there.

Every corridor had its own colour scheme, so it was easily to distinguish them. Harry realised that he was staying in the green part of the Manor, but there was also blue, red, yellow, purple corridors. It was also obvious that some parts of the manor, while kept in good condition, were not inhabited and had been decorated in former times, by different generations of Malfoys. Harry could honestly say, that he liked the ‘green wing’ the best. For living, at least.

On his way, the boy encountered way too many Malfoy ancestors or rather their portraits. Surprisingly not all of them were blonde; there were even some redheads among the older ones. Some were very old witches and wizards who were slumbering in their frames. One Cadmus Malfoy was talking to himself. Something about garters, socks and his underpants. Chirpy ushered Harry away, obviously embarrassed about the behaviour of one of the family members.

Sadly, some of the portraits were young children. Harry had never encountered portraits that were so young. The ones in paintings portraying kids that were at Hogwarts were not as sentient as those in the Manor. There was a difference between a simple magical painting with a moving person on it and a portrait of a real person. The first one was capable of moving a little, repeating some phrases - it depended on how talented the painter was. But the second kind held a part of wizards or witches personality.

It was disturbing when one of the children, Morry (Morpheus Malfoy) called after him, pleading that Harry stayed longer and talked or played with him.

Other portraits demanded to know who Harry was. According to some of them, he didn’t look like a Malfoy.

It turned out that the living quarters took up the entire second floor. Harry didn’t even try looking into every room. One in every hall was enough to give him an impression.

Then there was the third floor with the winter garden, the glass roof and the pool. Harry didn’t even start looking at the plants or conversing with the statues that looked eager to have a chat.

When he reached the first floor where the drawing rooms (more than one, naturally), the game rooms (like gobstone room), the family potions laboratory and the ballroom and the sewing room were located, Harry was already very tired and very impressed.

And Malfoys had a Quidditch pitch! (He had seen it out of the window), but Chirpy had screamed that the Quidditch was a no-no for Master Harry. So he was not allowed on the pitch…

How could one single family have so much? He had never seen anything like the Malfoy Manor.

***

A quarter before four Harry stepped into the library feeling worn out and was very relieved when Lucius instantly motioned for his husband to sit down.

“Remus Lupin had agreed to floo over at four,” the older wizard informed obviously not pleased about this arrangement.

But Harry was too preoccupied with other thoughts to notice a Slytherinbeing grumpy.
“Mister Malfoy,” he began, but Lucius stopped the boy instantly and insisted that Harry used his given name.

“Lucius…” the boy blushed, even if he had no idea, why and continued. That name felt weird on his tongue. “I was wondering… Do you think Remus could be angry?”

“Angry?” Lucius raised an eyebrow at Harry. “The werewolf? Angry? Why would he be angry? I assume that he will feel honoured to be invited into this house. And he isn’t in a position to make any objections.”

Harry frowned; he didn’t like the other wizard referring to Remus like that, and tried not to become angry, but try to understand. But he couldn’t really. Yes, Remus was a werewolf, but it didn’t give Malfoy right to imply that he was some lowly creature who didn’t have right to his own opinion.

But Harry didn’t want to start a fight or something. He didn’t want to anger the man. What would happen if Lucius changed his mind about trying to be nice? He regretted saying anything at all.

“Is there anything wrong?” Lucius inquired noticing his young husband’s unease.

Harry shook his head. He doubted Lucius would understand.

“Harry,” Lucius sighed noticing that the boy was closing up. “I already promised that I will not hurt you. I actually never intended to do that…I know it will take time for me to gain your rust, but I promised to take care of you.Please talk to me.”

Harry shuddered, when the man said things like this… so simple and… amazing… something twitched inside him.

…please talk to me…

Harry gathered his courage: “You see Remus only as a werewolf; I guess lot of people do in the Wizarding World. But I don’t… I don’t care if he becomes a werewolf once a month. He is my friend and as far as I know, he will never hurt anyone innocent. He is a person. A friend. Actually, the kindest, friendliest person I know. I just can’t see him the other way…”

Lucius looked at the raven-haired boy contemplatively. Harry was apparently upset. Would it wipe that unhappy expression off his face, if Lucius toned downplayed his prejudice?

“When I was a child,” Lucius began. “I had a nanny. She read me stories. A lot of them were tales about vampires, red caps, hippogriffs and also werewolves. They were monsters who attacked brave wizards and fair witches and got defeated and punished. She told me that if I will not be in the bed after nine a werewolf will come and take me…”

“When I grew older I spent time with my father doing things…everything sons do with their fathers. And we talked. Father was not…he had business with many different people, including werewolves. He knew some werewolves who bit wizards intentionally, to convert them. And I can assure you that there are still a lot of werewolves like that… some of them even were in league with…” Lucius stopped there. He was not in the mood to talk about Him.

That was the truth, as Lucius knew it. Not all of it. He was too smart to believe that. It was actually simple. He had never been one to go out of his way to annihilate the creatures or, Magic forbid, taken a part in werewolf hunts. But they were potentially dangerous and that was a good reason not to want to have them around his family. It was a needless risk.

But he couldn’t say, no, to Harry at the moment, could he?

“I don’t have anything against Lupin personally,”

Harry nodded.

The next moment fire in the fireplace turned green and Remus Lupin stepped in the library looking a bit tattered and tired as usually, wearing a brown jumper and patched jacket. After seeing all of the splendour of the Malfoy Manor, the contrast was a bit of a shock.

When Harry saw Remus, he could not stay calm. The boy sprang to his feet and ran towards his foster godfather falling in his arms. He had not realised that he had been missing Remus so much.

“Harry!” Remus greeted.

“Remus!” They both beamed at each other.

Lucius saw obvious affection boy showed the were… Lupin. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling a pang of jealousy. If only Harry would run to him like that, let himwrap his hands around the small waist and burry his nose in the ebony hair, taking in the delicious scent…

Both man calmed down and Remus came closer to Lucius eyeing the Slytherin suspiciously. There was no friendliness in his face.

“Professor Lupin,” Lucius nodded politely.

“I am not a professor anymore, mister Malfoy, you should be aware of it,” Remus answered coldly.

Harry was getting worried that his friend was really going to bite Lucius. He put his hand on Lupin’s shoulder in a calming gesture.

“Let’s sit down Remus,” he suggested. “Would you like some tea?”

Harry’s husband almost burst out laughing – Morgana’s petticoat! Potter was pulling a perfect hostess in the best traditions of the pureblood trophy wives!
Lucius had to cover his mouth with hand and pretend to be coughing deserving strange looks from the other wizards in the room. But the boy certainly had a potential of becoming everything Lucius could wish for in his spouse.

“Harry, what were you doing for all this time?” Remus finally started already anticipated interrogation eyeing Lucius out of the corner of his eye. Harry was doing the same as if asking for permission to talk. Remus didn’t like that one bit. The blond Slytherin however stayed as neutral as possible to let Harry decide what to tell.

Harry drew a deep breath. “We had a disagreement and I… kind of left… to think… I stayed in other place,” technically he was not lying.

Remus frowned: “Left?”

“Yes, but everything’s fine now,” the boy hastily made reassurances. Lucius raised an eyebrow. “Or at least getting there,” the boy blurted out.

“Are you sure?” Remus asked looking directly at Malfoy.

“Mm…yes…and please tell others that I am fine.” Harry was obviously nervous.

“Why don’t you do it yourself? I hope you are allowed to do that? Ad where exactly did you stay?” Werewolf asked.

“Remus…” Harry began.

“My husband is allowed to socialize with whomever he chooses as you see yourself,” Lucius interrupted.

“Then why he was not…”

“Remus,” Harry interrupted this time. “I left and Lucius was covering up to keep it secret. He didn’t forbid me anything. It was me.”

Lucius was a bit taken aback by what he was hearing. Harry was not lying, but also not revealing all the truth. That was interesting.
He had allowed the meeting and considered the possibility that the boy would relieve his ‘friend’ too much and had resigned himself to the inevitable unpleasantness that would follow. Apparently, Harry wanted to avoid some of that.

Remus looked contemplative.

“Harry, there is something different about you though. You smell different,” the wizard stated.

The boy paled.

“It’s nothing. I am fine.”

His older husband groaned inwardly; if the boy was trying to hide that he had something to hide, he was not succeeding. He had a strong urge to intervene, seeing that Harry was getting frustrated, but Lucius didn’t want none of the both men think that he was trying to control Harry.

“Harry, I know you are not being honest with me…” the other Gryffindor didn’t step back one bit.

“Remus…” pleaded Harry.

“Harry, maybe you want to talk to me alone?” The older wizard kept pushing.

It was typical Gryffindor behaviour.
The portrait of his grand, grand, grand mother Tiberia had once told Lucius a tale about a boy who hadn’t simply walked past the sleeping dragon, but had wanted to make sure that it was really asleep. So he had started poking it and naturally had woken the beast. The boy had certainly been a Gryffindor.

“No it’s not that… could you just…” Harry sounded annoyed.

“Harry…”

Suddenly Harry sprang to his feet hands clenched at his sides: “I AM PREGNANT! Damn it!” He yelled. “Pregnant!!! With a baby! Child! Will get fat and have a baby! Pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant!” Both older men had an urge to cover their ears. “Satisfied now!”

Harry was standing, clenching his fists and gasping for air.

“Harry?” Remus approached carefully.

The small boy dropped back in his chair, hiding face in his hands.

“Maybe you would like to have some water?” Remus was trying to help the distraught boy.

“No,” Harry groaned.

Lucius was still only watching desperately wanting to step in, but not sure if that would be the right thing to do.

“Harry…” Lupin began, putting hand on the younger wizard’s shoulder trying to calm him. “Its fine, Harry.”

“No, it is not,” the boy groaned. “I am pregnant. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T!”

“It is natu… I mean it may not seem as natural as it would be if you were a witch, but it happens. I understand that it must be a shock for you, but a baby is always a blessing and joy.”

Now Lucius started to understand why his young husband chose to talk to the werewolf…eh…Lupin.

“You are not angry with me?” Harry looked his father’s friend in the eye.

“Of course not,” Remus smiled gently. “It is not your fault.” Lucius would bet that werewolf’s eyes were glowing when he glared his direction. Lucius looked back coldly. He was not going to justify himself to a werewolf. That was too much to ask.

“So, you see why I don’t want to see others?” Harry was oblivious to the exchange.

“No, actually I don’t,” it actually did not make sense to the older wizard.

“But…I am a boy and…they will hate me!” Harry cried out in anguish.

Lucius frowned…what the…

“Harry, you are being irrational. Why would they hate you? You are a wizard and…married. It happens to wizards. Your friends love you and they will love your baby,” Remus tried.

However, Harry looked like he was going to burst into tears any moment now.

“But…that can’t be right…I…I am…a freak,”

Both other wizards were taken aback and a bit confused.

Harry wrapped arms around himself, averting his eyes, looking away from them.

Remus could not understand why the young man would say something like that.

However, realization struck Lucius. The blond wizard rose from his chair and walked over to his husband. The aristocratic man dropped on his knees in front of Harry’s chair and took one of the boy’s hands starting to rub it gently, trying to catch the young man’s gaze.

“Harry,” he spoke up calmly, but firmly. “Don’t say that. You are not a…don’t ever say that word again. You are a great wizard and what happened to you is a miracle, you have a rare gift. It is something amazing and I am very grateful for that. If your friends don’t see it – they are not worthy of you affection.”

Worthy and unworthy. That was a common way to divide people for Malfoys.

Tears rolled down Harry’s cheeks falling on their joined hands.

“Shhh,” Lucius whispered pulling the boy in his arms, relieved that he wasn’t pushed away. “It is going to be all right. Calm down.” Harry was crying, he had buried his face in Lucius’s robe, not actually caring who was holding him. He just needed to be held tight.

“Come here…” Lucius rose easily lifting the petite youth in his arms the bridal style, letting Harry hide face against his shoulder. “If you could wait mister Lupin,” Malfoy whispered and Remus nodded shocked by the display he had witnessed.

Lucius carried his husband out of the Library.

***

The Malfoy patriarch returned to his guest after tucking Harry in the bed, giving him calming draught and making sure that boy fell asleep. The man had to admit that he had stayed for a bit longer than it had been absolutely necessary, watching his husband sleep. Harry was so delicate and fragile, but there was also the hidden strength under the surface. He seemingly wore his heart on his sleeve, but remained a mystery.

But it wouldn’t do to have a guest wait on the host for too long, even if said guest was only a werewolf.

“How is he?” Remus Lupin inquired. The man wasn’t even trying to hide his worry.

“He will be fine,” Lucius’s tone implied that it was none of the werewolf’s business.

“You are a fine bastard, Malfoy,” Lupin retorted quietly, but the other wizard could hear something dangerous in his voice. However, Lucius didn’t allow anyone to intimidate him.

“I assure you that my parents were married long before I was born,” he retorted without any enthusiasm. Lucius was tired and a bit worried.

“He is only sixteen!” Werewolf ground out through gritted teeth.

“I am well aware of my husband’s age!” Lucius snapped. He felt bad about the fact as well, but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone.
“I suggest you to watch your tongue, Lupin, I am not going to justify myself to you. I let you in my house, but you are not welcome to sniff around my family’s affairs. Remember that I can recall my invitation any time.”

“If you will…” Lupin began menacingly.

“You can say your lot, what you want, but don’t dare to tell about pregnancy and Potter’s absence from the manor or my hospitality will become very limited. Now get out.”

With that, Lucius left the library after activating the ward that would apparate the unwanted guest outside the gates if he wouldn’t see sense to floo out very soon.

***
17. Good morning sunshine

Lucius went to his study and immediately contacted Toto Tanabe, to tell the mediwizard about Harry’s breakdown. Toto calmed him down, saying that it was nothing unusual. Not only young Harry was a very sensitive boy, but also he was pregnant.
The presence of the foetus in Harry’s body was affecting it. Hormones were probably intensifying boy’s emotions. However, doctor pointed out, the emotions were real, just more intense.

Then older wizard approved of how Lucius has dealt with the situation, which didn’t make the Slytherin’s mood any better. Malfoys didn’t need praise from their personnel… oh, fine, the man could admit that he was in a foul mood and worried and… he decided to end this firecall, pick up a book and retire to his rooms. Especially with Tanabe’s canary-yellow robe burning his eyes out.

***

Next morning Lucius woke up early and quietly… he would not exactly call it sneaking… Malfoys did not sneak… Lucius quietly but with a lot of dignity walked into Harry’s room and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

The boy was still sleeping peacefully. Lucius had discovered that it was very fascinating to watch someone sleep. He had always enjoyed watching his lovers sleep in the past, no matter who they were.

There was something… magical about it. Sleep turned wizards and witches in completely different persons. It did not matter how cruel, corrupted or dark they were awake. Everyone turned more or less angelic in their slumber.

Lucius was slightly embarrassed because of his strange obsession, very unmalfoish… but harmless, since no one knew. He was watching and trying to figure out what magic Morpheus worked on wizards. He hadn’t figured that out yet.

Lucius looked at Harry and decided that the boy wasn’t much different in his sleep from what he looked like during his waking hours. He was very young, so there were no lines that needed smoothing out; he was always a bit angelic as well, with those large, emotional eyes and aura of innocence and vulnerability surrounding him.

Lucius was suddenly feeling disgusted with himself.

Yesterday, when he was choosing something to read before sleep, he had dared to read a chapter titled ‘Intercourse in Arranged Marriage: Lovemaking or Abuse’ from the book written by the Whitedove woman.

That had been just… the man shuddered.

Lucius admitted that he has been arrogant and selfish… he hadn’t had thought that he was harming someone. He had thought of everything that had happened between them in the wedding night as of something natural. The young ‘brides’ and ‘grooms’ were supposed to be inexperienced and shy on their first night. It was natural that the older or the more experienced partner took control and guided the less experienced one. Lucius had assumed that as long as he was patient and wasn’t forceful…

The man hated his father that moment more than ever for bringing him up the way he was.

Something tingled in his eye as he was watching the boy, the child, sleeping on the bed – he wished he could get his hands on a time turner!

Harry wiggled pulling the blanket up to cover his chest and as a result baring one of his legs. Hm…Lucius noticed Harry had very lovely feet. Then boy poked his pillow as if poking could transfigure it in something better.

It was really a pleasure to watch.

If only Lucius hadn’t… that night… was it even possible to rectify that?

However if he hadn’t took advantage of his husband he would not be pregnant with Lucius’s child. The blond wizard would be lying if he swore that he completely regretted that.

Despite his initial reluctance, now Lucius wanted to have this child more than anything.

A dark haired Malfoy probably. But he didn’t care. The baby will be his and Harry’s, which would make the little one perfection in his eyes.

Malfoys were perfect and Harry was perfect. Lucius remembered how he had touched his little husband that night… he just couldn’t quite regret that he had had Harry in his arms, caressing the milky skin, kissing boy’s flat stomach, running his finger through locks of dark, incredibly soft hair. Lucius remembered his lips against the fold of Harry’s back. His delightful scent, never before soap and skin had blended into such an intoxicating fragrance… no, he couldn’t go there now; he had to think about something else. Fast.

Dolores Umbridge. Yes, that was it. She had been Lucius personal mood-breaker since the woman had first attempted to flirt with him when he had run into her at the Ministry. That never failed to work. Not only was the woman unattractive in all the ways imaginable, but one of his personal rules was to never touch anything that had been as close to Cornelius Fudge as she had.

Last, he heard Umbridge was still reoccupying at St. Mungo’s after her escapade with centaurs. Lucius doubted that she will be able to attain a position of any power in the Ministry even after recovering her health, since the rumours claimed that the with had actually tried to seduce one of the centaurs and had been rejected in a very unpleasant manner. As often the wizarding populace didn’t care if it was true or not. They chose to believe the most interesting version of the story. Gossipmongers had dubbed the incident ‘the horseplay scandal’ and it has become a very popular topic of conversation.

However, Lucius had regained almost perfect control when Harry started to waking up.

He was wriggling like a baby animal in its den mumbling and grumbling in his pillow quietly.

Then suddenly the green eyes shot open and the boy was looking at Lucius.

Harry groaned remembering what had happened yesterday. Well, but what was the use to cry over a blown-up potion.

However, his cheeks flushed red. No, no… he had not fallen in Lucius Malfoy’s arms like some Damsel in distress! What would have happened, if the man had decided that Harry wanted to do that?

However, Lucius hadn’t done anything to him. It would have been easy for the man to force Harry into something the boy did not want. The older man was a great deal stronger. Of course, Lucius had promised not to hurt him and it looked like he was really trying to be nice, but it was not like people always kept their promises and as if they couldn’t pretend or something and later do as they wished.
But Lucius had been sincere, Harry just knew it. He needed to believe that.

A galleon for your thoughts…. the man in question wanted to say watching his younger husband thinking intensively about something. He was not sure if he should.

“Good morning, Harry. Excuse me for intruding; I wanted to make sure that you were feeling all right. You should not worry about yesterday, Harry. Your behaviour was affected by hormonal misbalance.”
“As for… Lupin,” he had almost used the ‘W’ word. That wouldn’t do. “I warned him not to go in much detail, if he chose to tell anybody about his yesterday’s visit.”

Maybe Harry didn’t know that, but most wizards used to bear in mind Malfoys’ warnings.

Harry frowned unsure what to make of that ‘warning’ business. Nevertheless, he hoped that Remus would not tell everyone… he should owl him. Explain. Actually, he should owl also Ron and Hermione and maybe the headmaster. If Harry assured them that he was fine, his friends wouldn’t try to dig for more information. He hoped at least.

Hedwig would be happy to have something to do. Harry was still feeling guilty after leaving his owl alone here for so long.

Then Lucius inquired if he could join the boy for breakfast. Harry just couldn’t say ‘no’. The hat had put the boy in the Gryffindor for a reason.

***

In next two days, the Malfoy-Potter family developed a routine. Lucius joined Harry for breakfast in his room and in the evening, Harry joined Lucius for dinner. Lucius had politely inquired if his younger husband minded that kind of arrangement. Harry had said he did not.

Then Lucius had asked if Harry would mind if he came earlier every morning and waited until the boy woke up. Harry had wondered why the other wizard would want to do that, it seemed somewhat strange, but after thinking about it and convincing him that Malfoy was not going to molest him first thing in the morning or while he was asleep, he had agreed even to that.

Harry had sent letters Remus, Ron and Hermione, Albus Dumbledore and even Mrs. Weasley. He was not ready to face them yet, but the boy had assured his friends, that he was fine and just needed time to sort some things out. He hoped that they would accept that.

Now Harry was impatiently waiting for their answers.

Lucius had brought him textbooks, strongly suggesting that he should read them and promising that they would discuss everything later. Harry still had to pass his NEWTs after two years. Of course, it was not mandatory, but boy suspected that his husband expected that from him.

He had noticed that the man hadn’t stopped educating himself after passing his Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests. There was always some book lying around. Besides Harry had found ‘Potions Quarterly’, ‘Charms Quarterly’, ‘Wizarding Scholar’, ‘The Modern Mediwizard’ and some other magazines that wrote about new developments in various fields of magic in the library. Apparently, Lucius Malfoy was interested in many things or just in everything that had something to do with magic.

Harry thought it was not that bad, even admired Lucius Malfoy a bit.
18. Worries

“That poor boy!” Molly Weasley exclaimed wringing her arms. “It is so unfair! Poor Harry already has suffered a lot. Now he has to live with that terrible man! Lucius Malfoy is not a good man; everyone knows that. I have not met a decent Malfoy yet! I doubt there has been one. Ever.”

“Molly…” Mr. Weasley found his wife’s worry slightly too… exaggerated? No, Arthur could not say that. She was probably right.

“Don’t Molly me, Arthur!” The woman retorted hotly, not letting her husband to silence her. “You know I am right! That monster is hurting our Harry right now. Is there really nothing we can do?”

“It is not that simple,” Remus joined the conversation.

“Remus is right, dear,” Mr. Weasley agreed. “Malfoy is rich and reputable wizard with a lot of influence in the right places. Even Albus had not been able to do anything so far.”

Molly shook her head and got up to refill everyone’s mugs with some fresh tea: “You should know better; Albus Dumbledore is too busy. I am not saying that he doesn’t care for our Harry, but he’ll never interfere until the poor dear will be in mortal peril. We can’t let things go that far!”

“I am sure, that Lucius Malfoy will not go that far,” Remus tried to assure the woman, after all he knew about the situation more than the others.

“Remus…” Mrs. Weasley began with accusation in her voice.

“I know Molly,” Remus interrupted calmly. “It is still not the best place for Harry. I know.”

“Well,” Arthur mused. “If we prove that Lucius is mistreating Harry, he will be free. He is not allowed to abuse another wizard even if they are married.”

Remus wished he could tell both Weasleys all he knew. However, it was not his place to do that. It was not his secret. Harry was a very private person. That much was obvious. Remus suspected that there was a lot the boy had never told anyone. Harry liked to keep his secrets and Remus did not want to lose the lad’s trust.
The situation had been different if the boy had not owled him and specially asked not to tell anyone about his pregnancy. Now Remus could not pretend to be not aware of the fact that Harry wanted it to remain secret.

However, Remus had shared his concern with Weasleys. He did not like what he had seen at Malfoy Manor.

Harry’s letters did not convince them one bit. The kid will rather let someone stand on his foot for an hour than bother other person by asking them to step off.

There had to be something they could do to get Harry out of the snake’s den.

***

“Ron!” Hermione exclaimed. “It is Hedwig!” Not only Ron, but also all other Gryffindors, who were sitting near Harry Potter’s best friends, turned their heads to watch the large, snow-white owl fly into The Great Hall and landing on the table in front of it.

“Hedwig, good girl, we missed you,” Ron was beaming at the beautiful bird.

“Here, Hedwig,” Hermione offered not only one piece of bacon, but the whole plate.

“Hey!” Seamus Finnigan called out; he hadn’t got any yet, but thought better of protesting when a certain bushy-haired girl glared at him.

Meanwhile the owl had lifted her leg, allowed Ron to take the letter, had some snack and fled out of the window.

Ron was impatiently tearing open the long awaited letter. He and Hermione leaned over it, trying to fend off the other Gryffindors who wanted to take a peek.

When Ron and Hermione had finished reading, they got under an onslaught of questions. Most of them they were not going to answer. Honestly! Those people had less shame than Gilderoy Lockhart did, as Ron later commented when they were finally let alone and were able to discuss Harry’s letter.

This letter was typical Harry-tale. He was all right, everything was just fine and dandy, and they had no reason to worry… which probably meant that he was miserable, his life was living hell and Harry’s friends should be really worried – something between those lines.

Whom did Harry think he was kidding? They could tell how bad it was counting how many times he wrote ‘you really have nothing to worry about’ in one letter.

Five you-really-have-nothing-to-worry-abouts this time.

But what could they do? Malfoy probably wasn’t letting Harry out of the mansion and allowed to write this letter only to calm them down. Maybe Malfoy had ordered Harry to write it!

There hadn’t been a single day after beginning of semester when they had not thought about Harry. Moreover, when no owls came they got more miserable with every day.

At first, they were waiting four weeks after Harry’s wedding day assuming that Malfoy just did not let Harry write. However, they had hoped to meet their friend when school started again.

Then Malfoy had announced that his ‘husband’ would be home-schooled. That had been more than suspicious. They were sure that Malfoy was doing something bad to Harry and Hermione started loosing her sleep worrying of what it could be. He had been a Death Eater after all! They didn’t even know what the man was capable of.

They tried to extract some information from Malfoy junior. However, that was like speaking to…a snake without being able to speak parseltongue.

Then there were the other Slytherins, constantly taunting them about Potter-Malfoy marriage. Things they said were just… vile. Asking did Potter enjoy pleasing Lucius Malfoy in bed was not the worst they said.

Of course, they did that only when Draco Malfoy was not around. Ron and Hermione suspected that the Slytherin prince did not appreciate others badmouthing his father. Both Gryffindors would never have guessed that they would enjoy sharing their classes with Malfoy.

However, September passed and no letters came. Now, after two months without a word finally they had received something. A week before Halloween Harry had sent this too happy… how could they be not worried?

***

Harry’s mail was on the side of their breakfast table. Theirtable was a small, low table, which popped up every morning in between the loveseat and the large armchair which Lucius and Harry were using when they were having breakfast. Harry didn’t like having breakfast in bed. It reminded him of being sick. However, it was also nice to start the day slowly. Have breakfast right after waking up without getting out of you pyjamas, only then wash up, and dress.

In the beginning, it had been strange to wake up and find Lucius Malfoy sitting on the chair next to his bed and watching him. Then he got used to it. After Harry woke up, he moved to the loveseat. Lucius took the chair and the little breakfast table popped up. After a couple of days Harry had relaxed so far that he took his blanket and pillow with him making something like a den on the loveseat, so it became even more comfortable.

“I see you have received letters from your friends,” Lucius pointed at the parchments.

Harry understood, what the man had actually meant by that statement. Lucius would like to know, what Harry’s friends wrote, but did not insist on it.
His husband had a habit of being very subtle and vague; it was as if he was using some kind of ‘code’. Harry found it a bit fascinating and was even more surprised to discover that he was able to decode the messages, at least some of them.

“They want to meet me,” he stated.

That was obvious to Lucius that, for some reason, his little Gryffindor was not very excited. It was natural when a Slytherin avoided his friends occasionally. It only meant that there was something said person didn’t want them to know or he was scheming…interesting, but even if some of Slytherins had friends (No more than two, usually good ones) they still called them ‘acquaintances’, so technically Slytherins didn’t have friends.

However according to the witch who had written ’Domesticate your little lion or what to do if your child is a Gryffindor’if a Gryffindor alienated himself from his friends something was really wrong there.

“Would you like to meet them?” Lucius inquired. Now (according to the damned book) he had to coax his husband into talking without being too direct and persistent or Harry would just shrink into himself.

This was different from what he was usually dealing with. If Draco was having problems with his ‘acquaintances’, Lucius just had to arm himself with patience and endure a rant about what a bunch of ungrateful, dumb slugs they were and give his opinion on how appropriate Draco’s chosen revenge was.

“I… I am not sure…” Harry sounded as unsure and reluctant as one could be.

“I think it is not a bad idea. You could show them that I am not making you wear a collar and a leash,” Lucius suggested with a bit of amusement.

Harry’s lips twitched with amusement. Lately he had discovered that Lucius had a sense of humour. The boy find it very funny, when Lucius’ voice stayed perfectly cool and tone serious when he was talking utter nonsense or something what almost made Harry want to laugh.

“Is something bothering you, Harry? If you will tell me what is wrong I am sure I will be able to think about something,” Lucius was completely serious now.

Harry assumed that this was again a Slytherin thing. Lucius words sounded like: ‘I will use all my money and influence to solve all your problems.’

Harry got a funny feeling in his stomach; this was so… kind of sweet…from the man.
But how could he tell Lucius…

Then Lucius thought of something: “Harry, why don’t you want your friends to find out about your pregnancy?”

Harry paled and froze… how could he know? Was Lucius reading his thoughts? The boy averted his eyes, worried that they would tell everything.

“Harry… I know that there is no reason for you to trust me, but… I assure you that you can. I have recognised my mistakes and I will do everything in my power to refrain from repeat them. I can assure you that there is nothing more important for me than my family. Family means you and my children now. It means both of my children. “

“I am older than you and even if I sometimes make mistakes, I still know a lot about life and there is nothing much you could say to shock me. You should tell me what is on your mind. You are not alone anymore. You can consider me as your guardian and as such I will help you any way you will need.”

Harry was withdrawn and very silent. “I can’t… it is just… they will know…” he whispered. Lucius could barely hear his little husband.

“They will know what?” The older wizard inquired tentatively. He felt a very strong urge to touch the boy, to put a hand on his shoulder, to comfort him, to care and protect.

Harry pulled his legs to his chest and hid his face behind his knees and hands. “They will know… know… that we… we… that night…” the boy’s voice trailed off.

Lucius understood.

He would have liked to take Harry in his arms and hold tight comforting him. He wanted it so badly that it almost hurt. However, he knew that touching the boy right now was out of question.
We are married. It is none of their business – that was the first thought that came to his mind – another bad idea.

“They will not hate you. If they will hate anyone it will be me,” Lucius did not want to go there. Was Harry ready for this conversation? What his reaction was going to be? Was there a better way to go about it?

“Harry, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was not your fault. I forced you. You could not stop me… I…” this hurt also Lucius… his ignorance or rather arrogance had turned him into a monster… it was a miracle that Harry could even be in the same room with him… what did his miserable attempts to correct his mistakes were worth? He sighed, starting to feel miserable and defeated.

“Harry, you can not imagine how sorry I am. Moreover, it is I who must be sorry and ashamed and only I. I should let you go. I will buy you a house with house elves and hire a nurse, whatever you want… it is probably painful for you to see me after everything what happened. I would like to visit our child though, if you will allow me…”

“No!” A sudden cry interrupted Lucius. Harry was looking at him directly, his eyes wide and filling with tears.

“You can’t send me away! You cannot leave me alone! And the baby! I cannot have him alone, I… nobody will take care of me, of us… I don’t want to be alone… You had me! You forced me to … I gave my virginity to you, no, I did not give it. You took it, you, bastard! And now you just want to get rid of me! Did you use me like everyone and now you don’t need me anymore!”

“Harry… I… I am so sorry, please, I had no idea,” Lucius was begging. Probably for the first time in his life. “It is not right for you to be here… not good for you. I am confusing you. You are very vulnerable and…”

“No!” Harry crawled of his seat and sat down on his knees by Lucius’s chair. “Please don’t send me away, please,” the boy gripped Lucius hand. “You can be good to me; you are not hurting me… I don’t want be alone or with strangers. Don’t leave me!”

“Harry, there must be someone else, you could stay with your friends, I am a scum, a bastard, I…” Lucius had to remind himself that he was saying all this for his husband’s sake, even if his heart was not in it. He was ready to set Harry free, but he didn’t really want to.

“I don’t want to stay with them! They do not need me! They have their own families, they welcome me, but I still don’t belong with them. I am not one of them. I don’t want to be the charity case, the little, needy orphan boy. I don’t want to look at their sad smiles, to see their pity. Please,” Harry’s anger was gone; tears were running down his cheeks.
“You promised not to hurt me, to take care of me and the baby. You will want my baby, it will have your blood, blood is important, isn’t it? Our baby is going to need parents; I could not take it away from him or her. I know what it is like.”

The baby… this hysteria could not be good for the little one…

“Please, you promised that I could choose, I want to stay here,” Harry begged, pressing his forehead against the other wizard’s leg sobbing.

This was wrong in so many ways… but sometimes the situation was what it was and people were the way they were. Lucius did not completely understand Harry, so, he was not going to claim to know, what was better for him and was going to simply give the boy what he was asking for.
”I am sorry, Harry. So sorry…of course you can stay. Whatever you want. Come here. Will you mind if I hug you?” The man asked for permission, to be sure.

“Please,” Harry muttered weakly.

“You know I…”

“Yes,” Harry knew what Lucius was going to say and, yes, he knew that Lucius wouldn’t take an advantage of him.
Then Lucius pulled the boy into his lap. He let Harry burry his head in his shirt and started gently rubbing the boy’s back, while he was crying silently. At first, Harry was not very comfortable, but then relaxed and enjoyed warmth and comfort.

He wanted to keep Lucius. Even if it was not right. Even if he also didn’t want it in the same time. Even if he didn’t understand himself. Even if he was completely out of his mind.

Right now Harry needed someone to take care of him. He didn’t want to fight anyone; he didn’t want to answer any uncomfortable questions. He wanted to be week and feel sorry for himself, but didn’t want to see others pitying him.

Harry wanted to have someone only for himself.

Whatever Lucius was feeling, it was obvious that for some reason the man didn’t pity Harry. There was guilt, worry, strangely enough caring and protectiveness, but no pity.

This was what he needed – to be held tight. Even if it was Lucius Malfoy.

Harry didn’t see that his husband also had tears in his eyes.

TBC


Review Responses: Thank you all for your support. You have been very kind and please continue to be. Every time you don’t review a story you liked, you kill an author.

BetaForRent: I am glad that you enjoyed it. About ‘heiterkeit’ – well, I was trying to make a bit of exaggeration there, I think that kind of goes with the Wizarding World. It’s nice to know that someone is paying attention to the details, not just trying to skim over looking for the sex scenes ;)

Rokkis: You summarised it well, I think I should change my summary for yours, would attract a lot of readers, I think. He, he… and the first kiss, well, that will take some time and maybe will be too soon anyway. I am warning you, that I like taking things slowly if I feel that is the right way.

Wolfcathope: I believe strongly in character development (hint)

Demonwings2121: I am glad that you see it like that. Thanks.

L.S.: Hm, you actually gave me something to think about. I have plans for Draco, interesting plans and while his story has been already written at the speed I am updating I might add something.

Deadlyblade: I am glad that I haven’t ruined your appetite for HP/LM.

Frozenrose: Stay excited and keep reviewing then! Thanks!

Important note
I really disagree with hurt/comfort stories were abuser comforts the victim. It is just not right and Stockholm syndrome is not that common. However, my story turned out almost that way. It has its own mind… really!
I hope you can see some difference. Harry is not head over heals in love with Luc here. His clingy behaviour is not exactly healthy.
Persons

Sunshine Whitedove – I am trying to hint that she is a bit hippy. She is a witch feminist. I assume that wizarding Britain is probably more old-fashioned than America.
Unanswered questions
About Harry’s behaviour – if he has or hasn’t a mild case of theStockholm syndrome - I will leave that for you to judge.
But about SS - the tendency might well be the result of employing the strategy evolved by newborn babies to form an emotional attachment to the nearest powerful adult in order to maximize the probability that this adult will enable — at the very least — the survival of the child, if not also prove to be a good parental figure.
The Timetable
It is about the middle of October.
Harry is about two and a half months pregnant.

A rant about forced marriages - you can skip it

I just did some research and I think all the people should know about problems like this.

A forced marriage (FM) is a marriage that is performed under duress and without the full and informed consent or free will of both parties. Victims fall prey to FM through deception, abduction, coercion, fear, and inducements.

A FM may be between children, a child and an adult, or between adults, boys and men are also forced to marry against their will.

A FM is domestic violence and victims of forced marriages often experience physical violence, rape, abduction, false imprisonment and enslavement, sexual abuse, mental and emotional abuse, and at times, murder.

In the rural villages of Egypt, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, Pakistan, India, and the Middle East many young girls are often married off at the young age of 11, even 7.

Child brides have a double pregnancy death rate of women in their 20s, in developing countries; the leading cause of death for young girls between the ages of 15 and 19 is early pregnancy. The babies of child brides are sicker and weaker and many do not survive childhood.