Draco Malfoy and the Unusual Mission

Joe's Note: While the basic idea for this chapter was borrowed from the original version, it's longer and more comprehensive because I wanted to do a bit of character development. Plus Draco is no longer in Slytherin, so I'm introducing new dormmates. A little. Also... getting a thousand or more hits a chapter... getting votes... anyone want to review? Anyone?

********************

     He was wearing a red skirt… and he didn't entirely mind it.

     Draco couldn't help but stare at his reflection in the mirror, amazed at the outfit that Luna had thrown together for him to replace the very male school uniform he'd been wearing so he could be properly attired for when he met his mother. The uniform had been too loose in some places, too tight in others, too long in the sleeves and legs, and all around the wrong size for the new him. The values his father had beaten into him (sometimes literally) had made a return them and he'd expressed his belief that a Malfoy should look their best, even in such unusual circumstances. Luna had agreed and now… now he was wearing this.

     The skirt was a blood red and tasteful affair, unlike the shortened monstrosities the muggleborns and blood traitors wore and the school forced upon the girls in their uniforms, dropping all the way to his ankles. Luna had also transfigured one of her own hair ribbons, widening it and turning it the same shade of red before brushing out Draco's hair and braiding it again to incorporate the splash of color in a single, thick plait.

     Luna had even managed to transfigure his now-uncomfortable boxers into female underwear and provide a matching black bra without the situation turning awkward. Idly, Draco wondered what his fellow blonde wanted to do after Hogwarts. With her simple, no-nonsense approach to handling even situations as weird as this, he thought she'd probably make a decent healer. Definitely more pleasant than Madam Pomfrey.

     "I look pretty damn good like this." Draco turned back and forth, preening in front of her mirror. Not that he had any cross-dressing tendencies or anything of the like; if it wasn't for the situation he now found himself in, he would have taken a Cruciatus Curse before going near such clothes. But if he had to be a girl, he was going to be the most attractive looking girl possible. His upbringing wouldn't allow anything less.

     The only thing that nagged at him was the shirt. It was a muggle r-sh… wait, no, wrong letter. What had Luna called it? Oh yeah. A t-shirt. A white muggle t-shirt that, in addition to being a bit too tight for his liking, had something printed across the chest. It brought attention to the fact that it was already snug across his new breasts, which he felt was a bit trashy. The shirt was rather interesting, though; it was covered in what appeared to be bleeding red dots the size of a human eye, along with a rainbow that stretched from between his breasts to his left shoulder and a peculiar message in curling black script. "I heart the Skillet, and the Skillet heart's me." Draco looked back at Luna in the mirror. "Interesting shirt, Luna."

     "Hmm? You like it, then?"

     Returning his gaze to his own chest, Draco pondered the shirt. "It's… unusual. The bleeding dots are a nice touch, though. Can I keep it?"

     Luna nodded, bending over to dig through her trunk. "If you want. I bought it on vacation in America at a concert I went to while daddy was busy with an investigation. Good music. The drummer was rather fetching, too. Pity there was an age difference, plus the whole muggle versus witch thing. Oh well. Too pretty for little old me anyways." Standing up, Luna offered a black velvet box up. "I have jewelry that would go nice with that. Wasn't too expensive, but you could pay me for it if you really wanted. Harry keeps telling me I should get some hair clips or something instead of using my wand to keep my hair back."

     "My mother has some ornamental combs and such. Maybe I can convince her to part with some of the older ones that she doesn't wear anymore." Draco pointedly ignored the mention of his rival, preferring to focus on Luna's gift. He opened the box just far enough to see a glint of silver and red before pausing. "Why are you being so nice to me? I was… well…"

     "A right bloody bastard to me?" Luna's lips quirked up as Draco's own jaw dropped at the casual swearing. Not something he had expected. She was turning out to be more and more surprising. "The same reason you're being nice to me. Everyone wants to have a friend."

     Arching one fine blonde brow, Draco gestured out at the world with his free hand. "You have friends. Potty, the Weasels, the mudblood…"

     Luna shook her head, cutting him off. "Harry is my friend. The others tolerate me because of him. You and Harry hate each other. If you're my friend and Harry doesn't mind, I have twice as many friends as I used to. If you're my friend and Harry does mind enough to stop being my friend, I still have only one friend. I can't lose."

     "Oh." Draco wasn't quite sure what to say that, and suddenly his earlier plotting to use Luna to get to Potter came back to him. Well, if that didn't just make him feel like the world's biggest arse. Ducking his head to hide from her probing eyes, he opened the box she'd given him, examining the jewelry inside. It was a matched set: two silver and ruby cross earrings along with a matching cross necklace on a delicate silver chain. "What kind of concert was this, did you say?"

     "Didn't. Muggle Christian rock, though. Why?"

     Muggle and Christian was a bit redundant. It wasn't like there was a big enough magical Christian population that one needed to clarify. The religion had, oddly enough, never really caught on with Britain's magical population. Presumably because of the persecution and burning of witches and wizards, and other lovely fun like that. Draco eyed the trio of crosses for a moment before shrugging. He didn't really care either way, and it would be a great way to mess with Granger's mind. Just one problem. "I don't have pierced ears."

     Luna drifted over, removing one earring from the box and holding it up against Draco's earlobe. A soft tap of her wand, followed by the briefest spike of pain, later, and he had one pierced ear. The process was repeated and he was done. She took the necklace from the box as well, moving his braid out of the way so she could work the clasp and secure it behind his neck. "There. All set."

     "Thanks." The two stood there in semi-uncomfortable silence (well, Draco felt uncomfortable but he wasn't entirely sure what was running through Luna's head) until someone knocked on the door, opening it a moment later before he could even grant his permission. He knew that proper manners were something most of his peers lacked, but honestly! He'd gone into Luna's room to change. They didn't even know if he was decent! "What?"

     The Indian girl who was a prefect in his year, the Ravenclaw twin of that idiotic Gryffindor twit, flinched back at his sharp bark. It was good to know that even in his new form, Draco thought with a grin, he still had it. He hadn't dealt with her as much as her sister… what was her name? Padma! That was it. Padma clasped her hands in front of her, nervously rubbing her thumbs together. "I thought you might want to meet your new peers. We're all down in the common room so we can introduce ourselves."

     Rolling his eyes, Draco picked up his wand from where he'd left it on Luna's bed and sighed as he patted himself down. No pockets. He'd have to find a way of securing his wand in this new form. Maybe some knee-high boots like his mother wore most of the time? Or sticking to long-sleeve shirts, so he could conceal a wrist holster like he had as a boy? Peering down at his breasts, he frowned. Pity he wasn't as endowed as his Aunt Bella. Then he could have hidden his wand there, like she did. Looking back up at Padma, he made a shooing motion, falling in behind her as she turned and began to descend the stairs back towards the common room. "You do know I've shared a class with you lot before, right? I know your names."

     "Yes, but you don't know us. And I'm hoping the Draco Malfoy we've seen dealing with Harry Potter and working for Umbridge isn't all there is to know about you, or this is going to be an uncomfortably long school year for us all." Padma glared back over her shoulder with that and Draco blinked before grinning. Kitten had claws. That would make things around here interesting.

     Entering the common room, Draco shuddered and pointedly kept his gaze away from the windows. He had no fondness for the North Tower or Astronomy Tower, and doubted his new home would change his views on being so far above the ground. Padma led him over to a cluster of eleven chairs, arranged in a circle, settling into one of the two remaining empty chairs. He remained standing behind the other, observing the ten students as everyone waited for someone else to begin the conversation.

     Then he noticed something and his jaw dropped. "Half a mo." Draco pointed around the table at the assembled students. Boot. Brocklehurst. Corner. Cornfoot. "B-O… B-R… C-O-R-N-E… C-O-R-N-F… Merlin, did you lot actually seat yourselves alphabetically by last name? Sweet Circe, I'm going to be spending the rest of my time at Hogwarts surrounded by ten copies of Hermione Granger, just with a preference for blue instead of red." Backing away, he shook his head. "Well, as much fun as this creepily well-organized inquisition of yours sounds, well, I know my mother was flooing in to discuss things with Dumbledore. Think I'll go find her. Or find somewhere to be that's not, well, here. Ta, everyone."

     "Bunch of creepy little eggheads. I think at least two of them are mudbloods, too. None of the girls, though, thank Merlin. Don't know how I'd survive one of them sharing a dorm with me." Ducking through the portrait hole, Draco emerged in a largely unfamiliar corridor but quickly reoriented himself and made his way back to the familiar parts of school, heading for the headmaster's office. The walk was about the same distance as from the Slytherin common room, except all downward instead of up. When he reached the stairs to the headmaster's office, the imposing gargoyle was already gone, risen up out of the way to reveal the spiraling stairway.

     Draco assumed that was an invitation and hiked up the stairs, finding another open door at the top. Inside his office, Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk but gestured over at the roaring fire, where Draco spotted his mother sitting and sipping at a cup of tea. Crossing the room, he lowered himself cautiously onto the couch beside her and waited. After a few more sips, she set the cup down on the table and continued to stare straight ahead at the fire. "I suppose you're rather proud of yourself, aren't you? Free of Pansy… free of having to hide that you prefer your partners in slacks rather than skirts…" Draco gaped; how in the world did she know about his secret? "I'm your mother, darling. We know these things."

     Deciding to try and regain control, rather than double back and deny something he really couldn't anyways, Draco poured a cup of tea for himself, added some sugar, and then sat back. "So, now what?"

     "A name change, for one. No daughter of mine is going to be called Draco. Wasn't even that fond of the idea when you were my son, to be honest. New clothing, obviously, although I think tomorrow would be better for that. We need to visit Gringotts to change your name, at which point we can take out spending money for you and avail ourselves of Diagon Alley's many services." Sensible, that. Then again, Draco had suspected shopping would be on that list. Not only did he actually need it, but his mother lived for it. Even if he could have just transfigured all his clothing, she wouldn't have let him. "Also, we're going to need to have a few mother-daughter discussions. Propriety, for one. How to handle certain problems that witches go through. Along with a few… useful… charms."

     How to deal with boys, how to deal with his new body's inevitable monthly problem, and contraceptives. Draco winced. Was the Cruciatus available as an alternative?