Subitus Vices
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Voldemort
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
5
Views:
11,868
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Voldemort
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
5
Views:
11,868
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 4
Subitus Vices – Unexpected Events
Later that morning, Harry had woken up alone and very confused. Ignoring the feeling of disappointment when the mattresses in the boy’s dorms weren’t as comfy as something else he could think of. He had hurried to the showers before any of the other boys could wake up and let himself enjoy the feeling of the hot, soothing water rain down over his fresh skin, but thoughts of the night before soon sent his mind into panic.
An hour later, dry and dressed Harry had come to the conclusion that he would ignore it, it hadn’t been planned to bring about his downfall and was only going to drive him mad from guilt and disgust at himself.
So he convinced himself; It never happened. Will never happen again. Ever.
The 10 minutes he spent saying it over and over again in his head made himself feel better, but, as he found out while walking to his first lesson, his mind wasn’t convinced enough.
He felt sick when Ron hugged him, thinking of the way Voldemort had trapped him in the older’s embrace before he woke up.
Ginny wasn’t much better. He had thought that she would take the hint that she was like family, but on days like these, when Harry was in a particularly bad mood, she would cling to him, follow him around and sit so close; a few more inches and she would be on his lap. This defiantly made him feel worse, his mind sending him images of the Dark Lord from this morning. It made him feel ill, knowing he had betrayed half the school, maybe half the population of the wizarding world on some level by sleeping with the enemy.
And to top it all off, Hermione’s voice had started to give him a headache, asking him if something was wrong, trying to pry the information out of him and somehow managing to mention You-Know-Who in every other sentence.
Seriously not what he needed right now.
His friends had managed to drive him crazy with their concern for a week before Harry found himself wanting to shout out what had happened until his throat was raw. The mask hiding his true self was the only reason he hadn’t been marched to Dumbledore’s office, it hid the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep along with the miserable expression that dulled his eyes as if he had been followed by a dark cloud about to rain all week.
It had taken him all day the following Monday to find a plausible excuse to be left alone, and when it came, it was in the form of transfiguration homework. He never thought he would be so happy to get homework from the strict teacher, but he thanked her dozens of times in his head and quickly took off to the library before anyone noticed he had gone.
He was quite good with transfiguration, so it shouldn’t have taken him that long to fill the required amount of parchment, and yet hours later, the books were open at the correct pages but his quill lay abandoned at the side of his half done essay, his eyes looking at the text but not really reading.
The homework had quickly become second in his thoughts, the first being paranoia. The boy who lived had forced himself to move to the very back of the library as he realized that his friends had kept his mind from thinking too much and getting to this point, but now he felt insane, his mind echoing with thoughts that other students were looking at him with disgust. Whispering behind his back about what he did. Sneering at him as if they knew.
Harry felt his cheeks heat up before sniffing and holding the tears back. Had had been too much of an emotional wreck to write anything worth marking in his essays. The event last week had shaken him up more than he had originally thought, but he had to figure out a way through this, his friends were going to make him crack eventually, were going to break it out of him mentally with their concern. But he wouldn’t let that happen.
With new resolve, Harry packed everything away and left, making it to the boy’s dorms and into his bed without being noticed by anyone other than a few Ravenclaws and Slytherins that let him be.
He waited, listening out for the signs that the other boys were getting ready for bed, but it didn’t come until hours later when Harry had already had a decent nap and read half way through a Defense Against the Dark Arts text book he had gotten from the library. It seemed to take even longer before Ron’s loud snores resounded through the room.
Sighing in relief that his boredom was finally over, Harry once again snuck out with his invisibility cloak and map, but this time he headed back to the library, and the Restricted Section.
He only encountered a few portraits that grumbled at his lit wand as always, but mostly managed to avoid Flich and Mrs. Norris, although they did seem to be following him at one point, but after a change of course, they were left baffled at the stone wall he had seemed to walk through and quickly gave up mumbling about ‘bloody ghosts’.
The doors to the forbidden part of the dark library were as old and creaky as he remembered and also full of dust and cobwebs. Thankfully madam prince was out, probably arguing with Umbridge about messing up her library system concerning the moving of all books on DADA to said part of the library.
Quietly throwing off the cloak and reveling himself to an empty isle he knew wouldn’t be disturbed for a while. It made him feel more at ease as he brushed his fingers along the spines of the ancient books, his eyes scanning titles quickly and selecting only a couple that looked useful, before settling down on the floor against the shelves and skimming through his few choice books to find what he needed.
He must have gone through 4 thick books by the time his eyes caught something of use, and as he read deeper into that specific page he felt a relived smile tugging at his lips.
“Yes, that’s just what I need”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day after his trip to the library, it was as if nothing had ever been wrong.
He was back to his old self, out on the Quidditch pitch until the last minute, joining in late night parties even though none of the other lads could get him to drink any more than pumpkin juice (Harry being put off alcohol by his uncle, but none of the others knew that). Yes, all was once again well with Harry Potter.
In fact, when his friends asked him what had been bothering him a few nights ago, he would only answer with a confused expression “I have no idea what your talking about” before laughing and continuing with his life…
Later that morning, Harry had woken up alone and very confused. Ignoring the feeling of disappointment when the mattresses in the boy’s dorms weren’t as comfy as something else he could think of. He had hurried to the showers before any of the other boys could wake up and let himself enjoy the feeling of the hot, soothing water rain down over his fresh skin, but thoughts of the night before soon sent his mind into panic.
An hour later, dry and dressed Harry had come to the conclusion that he would ignore it, it hadn’t been planned to bring about his downfall and was only going to drive him mad from guilt and disgust at himself.
So he convinced himself; It never happened. Will never happen again. Ever.
The 10 minutes he spent saying it over and over again in his head made himself feel better, but, as he found out while walking to his first lesson, his mind wasn’t convinced enough.
He felt sick when Ron hugged him, thinking of the way Voldemort had trapped him in the older’s embrace before he woke up.
Ginny wasn’t much better. He had thought that she would take the hint that she was like family, but on days like these, when Harry was in a particularly bad mood, she would cling to him, follow him around and sit so close; a few more inches and she would be on his lap. This defiantly made him feel worse, his mind sending him images of the Dark Lord from this morning. It made him feel ill, knowing he had betrayed half the school, maybe half the population of the wizarding world on some level by sleeping with the enemy.
And to top it all off, Hermione’s voice had started to give him a headache, asking him if something was wrong, trying to pry the information out of him and somehow managing to mention You-Know-Who in every other sentence.
Seriously not what he needed right now.
His friends had managed to drive him crazy with their concern for a week before Harry found himself wanting to shout out what had happened until his throat was raw. The mask hiding his true self was the only reason he hadn’t been marched to Dumbledore’s office, it hid the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep along with the miserable expression that dulled his eyes as if he had been followed by a dark cloud about to rain all week.
It had taken him all day the following Monday to find a plausible excuse to be left alone, and when it came, it was in the form of transfiguration homework. He never thought he would be so happy to get homework from the strict teacher, but he thanked her dozens of times in his head and quickly took off to the library before anyone noticed he had gone.
He was quite good with transfiguration, so it shouldn’t have taken him that long to fill the required amount of parchment, and yet hours later, the books were open at the correct pages but his quill lay abandoned at the side of his half done essay, his eyes looking at the text but not really reading.
The homework had quickly become second in his thoughts, the first being paranoia. The boy who lived had forced himself to move to the very back of the library as he realized that his friends had kept his mind from thinking too much and getting to this point, but now he felt insane, his mind echoing with thoughts that other students were looking at him with disgust. Whispering behind his back about what he did. Sneering at him as if they knew.
Harry felt his cheeks heat up before sniffing and holding the tears back. Had had been too much of an emotional wreck to write anything worth marking in his essays. The event last week had shaken him up more than he had originally thought, but he had to figure out a way through this, his friends were going to make him crack eventually, were going to break it out of him mentally with their concern. But he wouldn’t let that happen.
With new resolve, Harry packed everything away and left, making it to the boy’s dorms and into his bed without being noticed by anyone other than a few Ravenclaws and Slytherins that let him be.
He waited, listening out for the signs that the other boys were getting ready for bed, but it didn’t come until hours later when Harry had already had a decent nap and read half way through a Defense Against the Dark Arts text book he had gotten from the library. It seemed to take even longer before Ron’s loud snores resounded through the room.
Sighing in relief that his boredom was finally over, Harry once again snuck out with his invisibility cloak and map, but this time he headed back to the library, and the Restricted Section.
He only encountered a few portraits that grumbled at his lit wand as always, but mostly managed to avoid Flich and Mrs. Norris, although they did seem to be following him at one point, but after a change of course, they were left baffled at the stone wall he had seemed to walk through and quickly gave up mumbling about ‘bloody ghosts’.
The doors to the forbidden part of the dark library were as old and creaky as he remembered and also full of dust and cobwebs. Thankfully madam prince was out, probably arguing with Umbridge about messing up her library system concerning the moving of all books on DADA to said part of the library.
Quietly throwing off the cloak and reveling himself to an empty isle he knew wouldn’t be disturbed for a while. It made him feel more at ease as he brushed his fingers along the spines of the ancient books, his eyes scanning titles quickly and selecting only a couple that looked useful, before settling down on the floor against the shelves and skimming through his few choice books to find what he needed.
He must have gone through 4 thick books by the time his eyes caught something of use, and as he read deeper into that specific page he felt a relived smile tugging at his lips.
“Yes, that’s just what I need”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day after his trip to the library, it was as if nothing had ever been wrong.
He was back to his old self, out on the Quidditch pitch until the last minute, joining in late night parties even though none of the other lads could get him to drink any more than pumpkin juice (Harry being put off alcohol by his uncle, but none of the others knew that). Yes, all was once again well with Harry Potter.
In fact, when his friends asked him what had been bothering him a few nights ago, he would only answer with a confused expression “I have no idea what your talking about” before laughing and continuing with his life…