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Snivellus Avenged
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Lily
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
5,765
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Lily
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
5,765
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A Bit of Introspection
Oh, Severus. He was always there for her. He followed her around, cowed to her every whim like a whipped puppy. Sure, sometimes he irritated her, but the truth was she would be lost without him. She loved him—broken as he was. Lily now had some insight into what brokenness felt like. It wasn’t pretty. A lifetime of being so abused could easily lead to an introspective, repressed darkness. It could easily result in a feeling of helplessness and lashing out only when one felt safe enough to do so.
Oh, she did love him. In a weird, broken way she could never have understood before this night.
Shower introspection was dangerous territory and all Lily felt was exhaustion; other emotion fell away. Her limbs felt like dead weight; it was all she could do to complete these tasks. Exiting the shower and brushing her teeth, the goal of bed seemed to be more and more heavenly.
Upon entering the bedroom, another sensation replaced exhaustion: cold. She practically ran to the bed and tried to cocoon into the linens, clawing Severus and pulling all the covers off him in the process.
“Lily?” he asked sleepily. She had been in the loo forever, it seemed.
“I’m cold,” she whimpered.
“Sit up,” he instructed, raising the lights a bit and turning to face her. She did as he asked. He put the center of the duvet behind Lily and wrapped it snuggly around her, guiding her back toward the pillows. Mercifully, the room provided another blanket for him. Her back was to him, so he edged closer to her and rubbed her arms briskly, while placing part of his blanket over her cocooned figure.
Lily sighed and relaxed into Severus as though he was an old, comfortable piece of furniture. Her head rolled back until she nearly blocked all of his opportunities for breathing, but it didn’t bother him; Severus gently nuzzled the crown of her head and tightened his protective embrace, feeling her sigh.
“I love you, Sev.”
“Lily… ” he began in a warning tone.
“No, I mean it, I love you.”
Severus exhaled sharply into Lily’s hair and pursed his lips.
“Do you love me?” she asked, craning her neck until she could almost see him. “Do you?”
“Lily,” Severus said evenly, “you are my best, my only, friend. Surely you know the answer to that.”
“I want to hear you say it. I need to hear it, Sev, just say it. Tell me.”
“I did.”
“No, no. Say the words, please.” Why, oh why did she have to do that?
“Lily, this is a bad time. You’ve been hurt; you’re…”
“Vulnerable, exactly. I need you to make me feel better, and I would feel better if you told me.”
“Lily,” he whispered against her cheek, “sweet Lily, you know I love you. Everything’s going to be alright. Get some rest.”
Why did she want revenge again?
“I do love you,” she said, relaxing in his arms and surrendering herself to unconsciousness.
Severus, however, was more awake than ever, and his head was throbbing. ‘She loves me, she loves me, she said it,’ he played it over and over again in his mind. She wanted his love, she accepted his affection, his life seemed complete.
On the other hand, there were two extreme complications: his past and his future. He knew, he had seen, Lily had demonstrated that she could never get over them. He never permitted her to come near the evil that had lurked in his parents’ home, opting instead to meet her in the cheerful little park so as not to rock her innocent world. And the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord—how would they factor into this?
He -needed- to find a way to justify this in case anyone broke through his defenses. He had seduced the mudblood. She humiliated him; tit-for-tat. That would make sense in their world. But could Lily take the concept of him living a double life? Could he take it?
Severus didn’t care about purity or politics, he never had, how could he? That wasn’t what his relationship with the Dark Lord was about. It was about power; Severus had never been empowered before Lucius introduced him to such powerful friends.
‘Friends,’ he thought, ‘friends who could easily make James Potter and all his pathetic friends squirm like worms on a hot rock.’ What a sight that would be. Lily liked to get a little revenge, maybe she would go for it after all.
It was too much to think about. The prospect of continually lying to the Dark Lord was terrifying—it would be very draining, not to mention risky. He had killed over less. Was Severus really prepared to embark on a dangerous double life?
There was no question of whether Lily was worth it; she was everything. But would she stay with him? What if he did something wrong? It would kill him to lose her again.
He had to stop thinking.
“I do love you,” he whispered to her sleeping form, “and I would never hurt you.”
Her breathing was steady and deep; she whimpered occasionally in her sleep. When she did, Severus held her tighter.
“I’ll protect you, I’ll always protect you.”
Lily seemed to relax further into sleep, as if she had heard this vehement proclamation.
“I would die before I let you be unhappy.”
After several such statements, Severus fell into a troubled sleep, never relinquishing his hold on his Lily. It was easy to voice such sentiments to her sleeping form.
Oh, she did love him. In a weird, broken way she could never have understood before this night.
Shower introspection was dangerous territory and all Lily felt was exhaustion; other emotion fell away. Her limbs felt like dead weight; it was all she could do to complete these tasks. Exiting the shower and brushing her teeth, the goal of bed seemed to be more and more heavenly.
Upon entering the bedroom, another sensation replaced exhaustion: cold. She practically ran to the bed and tried to cocoon into the linens, clawing Severus and pulling all the covers off him in the process.
“Lily?” he asked sleepily. She had been in the loo forever, it seemed.
“I’m cold,” she whimpered.
“Sit up,” he instructed, raising the lights a bit and turning to face her. She did as he asked. He put the center of the duvet behind Lily and wrapped it snuggly around her, guiding her back toward the pillows. Mercifully, the room provided another blanket for him. Her back was to him, so he edged closer to her and rubbed her arms briskly, while placing part of his blanket over her cocooned figure.
Lily sighed and relaxed into Severus as though he was an old, comfortable piece of furniture. Her head rolled back until she nearly blocked all of his opportunities for breathing, but it didn’t bother him; Severus gently nuzzled the crown of her head and tightened his protective embrace, feeling her sigh.
“I love you, Sev.”
“Lily… ” he began in a warning tone.
“No, I mean it, I love you.”
Severus exhaled sharply into Lily’s hair and pursed his lips.
“Do you love me?” she asked, craning her neck until she could almost see him. “Do you?”
“Lily,” Severus said evenly, “you are my best, my only, friend. Surely you know the answer to that.”
“I want to hear you say it. I need to hear it, Sev, just say it. Tell me.”
“I did.”
“No, no. Say the words, please.” Why, oh why did she have to do that?
“Lily, this is a bad time. You’ve been hurt; you’re…”
“Vulnerable, exactly. I need you to make me feel better, and I would feel better if you told me.”
“Lily,” he whispered against her cheek, “sweet Lily, you know I love you. Everything’s going to be alright. Get some rest.”
Why did she want revenge again?
“I do love you,” she said, relaxing in his arms and surrendering herself to unconsciousness.
Severus, however, was more awake than ever, and his head was throbbing. ‘She loves me, she loves me, she said it,’ he played it over and over again in his mind. She wanted his love, she accepted his affection, his life seemed complete.
On the other hand, there were two extreme complications: his past and his future. He knew, he had seen, Lily had demonstrated that she could never get over them. He never permitted her to come near the evil that had lurked in his parents’ home, opting instead to meet her in the cheerful little park so as not to rock her innocent world. And the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord—how would they factor into this?
He -needed- to find a way to justify this in case anyone broke through his defenses. He had seduced the mudblood. She humiliated him; tit-for-tat. That would make sense in their world. But could Lily take the concept of him living a double life? Could he take it?
Severus didn’t care about purity or politics, he never had, how could he? That wasn’t what his relationship with the Dark Lord was about. It was about power; Severus had never been empowered before Lucius introduced him to such powerful friends.
‘Friends,’ he thought, ‘friends who could easily make James Potter and all his pathetic friends squirm like worms on a hot rock.’ What a sight that would be. Lily liked to get a little revenge, maybe she would go for it after all.
It was too much to think about. The prospect of continually lying to the Dark Lord was terrifying—it would be very draining, not to mention risky. He had killed over less. Was Severus really prepared to embark on a dangerous double life?
There was no question of whether Lily was worth it; she was everything. But would she stay with him? What if he did something wrong? It would kill him to lose her again.
He had to stop thinking.
“I do love you,” he whispered to her sleeping form, “and I would never hurt you.”
Her breathing was steady and deep; she whimpered occasionally in her sleep. When she did, Severus held her tighter.
“I’ll protect you, I’ll always protect you.”
Lily seemed to relax further into sleep, as if she had heard this vehement proclamation.
“I would die before I let you be unhappy.”
After several such statements, Severus fell into a troubled sleep, never relinquishing his hold on his Lily. It was easy to voice such sentiments to her sleeping form.