Chance Encounters

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Chapter Four

The Beginning


After a rather lonely yet uncomfortable dinner, where he merely picked at his food making an appearance to conciliate his head of house who had been after him for such “unhealthy” behavior in the past, Severus found himself wandering the corridor close to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy.

“Idiot,” he breathed, but was unsure whether he was speaking to himself or the mad wizard teaching the trolls to dance.

Severus had some sincere concerns about this evening and was feeling very apprehensive regarding this evening’s meeting with Lily. He had no idea where she was coming from these days. A voice somewhere back in the far recesses of his mind suggested to him that this was probably how she felt about him, also. He shoved it even farther away.

Who was he kidding, anyway? Who understood the minds of teen-aged girls? Lily had changed so much. He had changed a lot, too, but not the way she had. Her behavior was so— unseemly —with boys. It made him uncomfortable.

Ever since he had accepted that he would never pursue her romantically, he had worked on accepting the fact that one day she would meet someone, date, fuck, marry, and all that, and thought he had been doing well, up until this past year. Lily had discovered recently that sexuality could be used as a weapon and she used it, heavily, to get what she wanted. It tore Severus up.

A true Slytherin, he supposed, would be proud of such a corrupt streak in a Gryffindor, but all he felt was nausea every time he saw her approach a boy with that look in her eye. The “I’m going to get what I want, regardless” look that meant she was about to engage in some improper speech or he supposed after today, action, to get it.

He remembered the first time he laid eyes on her: she was stunning. The most adorable little girl, the most talented little witch, the most powerful. He wanted that, anything he could get to do with that. His life was rather dark and miserable, but watching her, all giggles and grace, and knowing that he was the same as her made him feel a little lighter, a little happier knowing that he and this stunning creature were made of the same thing.

Lily was comfort; she always had been. Well, maybe not that first day when he first accosted her and her vile muggle sister, jumping out of the bush and surprising them there, on the playground. That day, she had been terrifying. He wanted so badly for it to go right, and he hadn’t meant it to be ugly…

He had been there first, damn it. He knew something she didn’t, and he -needed- to tell her, it was his responsibility. Besides, they could go home at any time if they didn’t like it… he could not. Which is to say, he did not wish to (for very valid reasons; the same that continued to keep him away). Now, he only went home in case he ran into her in the street.

Yes, the thought that one day some other man would have sole claim to her and would probably not welcome Severus’ presence was indeed a disturbing thought, as was being alone for the rest of his life, but he could not take the chance. That is how it would be. Period. No matter what happened this evening.

Oh, but he did love her… so much it hurt, damn it.

“I love her,” he whispered, in awe of his own idea. Could it really be that simple?

As soon and as surely as the peace that fell over him when he spoke, a despicable feeling of oily unease swept over Severus, forcing him to look around to find the source. It was above him.

“Ooooooo,” Peeves began, “Snivelly’s in loooooove! Snivelly’s in loooooove!” he chanted several times before exploring his inquisitive side, “So who’s the poor, unfortunate soul, eh? Which of the lovely Hogwart’s ladies are we gonna have to bury after they drop dead of disgust?”

Severus shook his head and raised his wand at Peeves.

“Not a lady, then?”

“Langlock!” Severus cried, ducking into the Room of Requirement. Peeves would not follow him; instead, the poltergeist whizzed away, trying to free his tongue.

The room swirled around him upon his entry and became a cozy sitting area with a full-looking couch pulled up to a roaring fire. He sank on the couch as the weight of his situation hit him again. What -was- he going to do about Lily?

If she made a further advance, he decided to refuse her. But would that hurt her feelings or make her feel bad about what they had done that afternoon? He did not want to make her feel like a common… he couldn’t even put that word in a sentence with her. Even if it was how she was acting. He just wanted his sweet Lily to feel like the perfection she was, and would do everything in his power to see that she did.

They would talk, they had to talk. Talk first, and see what happened after.

Feeling the exhaustion of the day fully for the first time, Severus seized the blanket which was draped over the back of the couch and lay down, sinking into the cushions. His mind was entirely too active for sleep, but this position afforded his body some much needed rest.

He had nearly drifted off when he heard the door to the Room of Requirement swing open.

She was here.

Before he could bring himself around fully, Lily approached the couch, and also lay down… on top of him. She entwined her arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

It was a gentle, unintrusive kiss, so different from the earlier intensity in the classroom. Severus sighed, relaxing under Lily. He literally felt the tension fly out of his body, but it did nothing for the tension in his mind.

When Lily was done, she rested her head at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, breathing in his scent.

“Lily,” Severus began tentatively, threading his fingers through her long red hair, “we need to talk.”

“Yes,” she said, levelly, “we do.”