Cruel and Unusual Punishment

“Date me.” The words were out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think them over.

“What!?” Hermione shrieked, looking at him as if he had grown another head. Draco inconspicuously glanced at his shoulder, to make sure he hadn’t grown an extra head. No, all seemed normal on the shoulder front, but there had to be something else bamboozling his brain. Draco Malfoy didn’t ‘date’ any witch, he charmed his way into their knickers and then hung them out to dry. Dating was for people who hadn’t been blessed with Grecian good looks.

Hermione doesn’t care that you’re really, really, really, ridiculously good looking…

What a weirdo. Granger was definitely like no other witch he had ever met, but perhaps that was what attracted him to her?

Oh Merlin… does that mean I’m—that I’m—

It was too horrible to even be granted mental consideration, because what Draco had thought that he was almost about to think, was that maybe his unknown attraction to Hermione Granger was more than skin deep. Maybe Draco wasn’t as shallow as he portrayed himself to be… Maybe it was more than just sex with her?”

No, it can’t be…

“Excuse me?” Hermione interrupted, impatiently tapping her foot—just one of her many annoyingly adorable habits. Draco was startled and unsure of what she was excusing. Had he accidentally said something out loud?

“What?” he asked, having completely lost the thread of their conversation.

“You were telling me to date you, are you insane?”

Possibly… Probably…Without a doubt…

“No! You said before that you didn’t know me. So, I’m giving you the chance to get to know me before I win an all expense paid trip down under.” He smirked. She scowled. Finally things were getting back to normal.

“Why would I ever agree to that?”

“Because it is for your benefit!” It was, wasn’t it? There wasn’t any way he would gain from spending more forced time with her, right? It was just the whole conscious and… ugh… feelings coming into play without invitation.

“Why would you do it then?” she continued her inquisition.

Damned if I know… Did she have to question everything? Couldn’t she just let him do something decent for her without making him feel completely emasculated for it? Figuring out one’s own wishy-washy feelings before speaking took a considerable amount of effort that he was not yet willing to put forth. Why couldn’t she just leave well enough alone?

“Look, you set me this challenge, I didn’t ask you to! I’m trying my best to comply with it, and all you do is make me feel guilty every chance you get! So just accept my gesture, which is a lot more than any other witch in your situation would get, and shut your trap! Even if I gave you one date after every house I finished singing to, that would still be four times as many dates than 99.9 percent of the girls I’ve bedded have gotten. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” For not knowing why he suddenly wanted to court her, he sure had a lot to say on the subject. If only she would say something now. He felt awkward standing there with her, breathing hard like he had run a marathon, while she just openly stared at him. He wasn’t some exhibit on display to be ogled at! He was just about to tell her so when she finally spoke up.

“Fine.”

Fine what? Shit, what were they talking about again?

“What?”

She rolled her eyes and stamped her foot in frustration at his obvious lack of attentiveness before replying, “I’ll go on one date with you after you finish every house.”

His eyes instantly lit up like they never had before. That was definitely not a normal reaction. He shouldn’t have wanted her to consent! Secretly wishing she had refused his proposal, so then he could continue on his mission to bed her without feeling guilty, was a much more acceptable response.

Perhaps the house-elves were putting something in the pumpkin juice… If he could just catch the little buggers he would give them a piece of his mind!

“…Or not if that’s how you’re going to react,” Hermione mumbled. Draco instantly snapped to attention. He hadn’t even realized he was wringing his hands out in front of him and his face was set in a crazy, evil grin.

Damn house-elves!

“No sorry err…” he said, forcing his arms to his sides. “I get to pick what we do on the dates, since I’m making most of the sacrifices in this,” he spat out quickly, not really expecting her to agree, so when she did he was completely thrown off guard.

“Yeah sure, whatever,” she sighed. “Are we done here?” she asked impatiently.

Thinking he was on a roll, he decided to test his luck, ignoring the dismissive way she was treating him. “And you can’t just pout the whole time, you have to at least pretend like you’re enjoying yourself.”

That got her attention. She opened her mouth to retaliate, but he ran his first.

“Now we’re done here.” Not waiting for a response, he combed his fingers through his hair, shot her a well rehearsed, knicker-wetting smirk, and casually turned to leave.

“Err! Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he heard her muttering to herself as she fled in the opposite direction.

Ah, victory was sweet.

~***~

A week later, he was well on his way to his first date with Granger. He had to constantly remind himself that the dates were for her benefit, and that they were just an obligation to him, though that’s not how he felt. Truth be told, he had been thinking of nothing but his alone time with Hermione and what they would do. It sickened him that he wanted to show her a good time out of the bed as well as in it.

The whole thing was insanely uncharacteristic of him, but he decided he didn’t care. His friends still thought he was cool. Sure, he suspected Blaise was plotting revenge (or seduction, he wasn’t certain) against him, but the rest (all… how many friends did he have?) thought he was ‘the man’. He was going to get with the one girl in school that not even Perfect Potter or McLaggen the self-proclaimed ladies man could manage. As far as his house was concerned, that practically made him a hero. Of course, Granger would have never considered all this when setting him the challenge. Silly girl…

Speaking of silly girls, he was currently in search of the one silly girl that stood between a Friday night with Hermione, and one spent getting sloppy with the Slytherins. He had saved the worst for last—the very worst.

“Pansy could you just stop for two minutes so I can get this over with?” he gritted out. It was bad enough he had to seek out his ex. She didn’t have to make it even more humiliating by running away from him.

“Just leave me alone!” Pansy shrieked, her shrill voice getting the attention of everyone in the vicinity.

Super.

She continued to scurry up the stairs on their way to charms with her upturned nose in the air. The nerve of her! Draco decided to just go for it since she obviously wasn’t going to acknowledge him, and started yelling his lyrics while he followed a few paces behind her.

Roses are red,
Violets are violet.
I’d say Pansy’s are pretty,
But no one would buy it.

They may look nice on a table,
But not in a bed.
Where I do all the work,
And they just lie there dead.

But I’m not bitter,
I’m not even mad.
As far as girlfriends go,
You’re the only one I’ve ever had.

We’re broken up now,
It’s quite the stunner.
We can’t be Valentines,
Oh what a bummer.

He said the last part so low and with such little enthusiasm that he was surprised Pansy didn’t turn around to exercise her bitching muscle. But she just ignored it, glaring at anyone who applauded or laughed. The onlookers instantly fell silent and went about their business as if nothing had happened. They were scared of Pansy. How was the possible? She couldn’t possibly be more threatening than Millicent Bullstrode for Merlin’s sake!

As he looked around at his fellow students, who were all purposefully looking the other way, he realized that they were afraid of Pansy’s wrath. He made a mental note of that, bit down the uncomfortable feeling in his gut and the disappointment that his poem hadn’t been more well received, and turned his focus to what he should do for his Granger date.

~***~

One Charms class later and he had the perfect plan, and he was way too excited about it, but what the hell. No one had to know about that. Every man was allowed one dirty little secret—or twelve, but who was counting?

He caught up with Granger after dinner to make their date.

“So did you catch my latest bout of poetic brilliance?”

“Unfortunately,” she scowled.

“So you know what that means?”

“Unfortunately,” she scowled again.

“Don’t sound so enthused, I think you’re forgetting that I’m doing this for your benefit.” He didn’t mention that he was also forgetting this little bit of information.

“So sue me,” she glowered. For a second she almost thought she saw disappointment flash in his eyes, but it was gone before she could be sure. Perhaps it would be best to make the most of it and concede without a fight. After all, he really didn’t have to go on these ‘dates’ with her. She was stuck in a wizard contract to go through with the deal if he kept up his end, but that was the problem! She was just so mad at him for actually taking her silly challenge seriously that she found it almost impossible not to have an attitude with him.

This was not the right way to think about the situation; she needed to stay positive. He did still have three houses to go, and they would just consecutively get harder for him. Maybe if she got lucky this first date would be the last. And if not, perhaps it would be better to get to know the man she would sleep with.

“Sorry…” she muttered, plastering a fake smile on her face. “When do you want to do this?”

“Tomorrow is Friday night, so I’m sure you’re free. I suppose I can sacrifice one Friday for the greater good,” he replied pompously. After the words were out he didn’t know why he said them. It seemed it was just in his blood to strive to rile her feathers. It was just so easy he couldn’t help it.

“What makes you think I don’t have plans?” she asked with a well-deserved bite to her tone.

“Do you?”

“Yes,” she lied.

“The library closes at eight, Granger.”

“Fine! Tomorrow it is!” she yelled, throwing her hands up in defeat and stalking away from him.

“See you at eight then!” he called out to her.

There goes that finger of hers again…

He smirked at her retreating form, shaking his head in search of some clarity, but there was none to be found.

The first house-elf to cross his path was seriously going to get it.




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry about the cliffy last time, if you noticed I was nicer this chapter! Next chapter will be their big first date… dun dun dun… and I’m kind of excited to get to writing it, so I’ll keep this A/N short. Huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed, please keep them coming : )