I'll Be Home For Christmas
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
19
Views:
17,056
Reviews:
123
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
19
Views:
17,056
Reviews:
123
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
All That I Thought I Had Left Behind
As promised, Chapter 4.
This chapter isn\'t quite as short as Chapter 3, but as I\'m on a roll at the moment, Chapter 5 shouldn\'t be too far behind! Many thanks to those who reviewed, particularly the very sweet SickPuppy, who has been spending her Christmas holiday ill! Here\'s to you, my dear, enjoy, and hope you\'re feeling better!
All That I Thought I\'d Left Behind
As the shock of his lover\'s outburst wore off, Harry closed his mouth along with his eyes. He sighed deeply and sat up, clutching his arms about his knees and staring into the fire. He felt annoyance at Severus for not letting him finish what he\'d been trying to say, but squashed it down before it could find an outlet, instead sighing deeply again.
Really, he thought to himself, what had he expected?
He\'d had second thoughts about presenting the startling news of his pregnancy to Severus as his Christmas gift, but he hadn\'t been able to think of any other way to broach the subject. He\'d been just as surprised as Severus and, recalling his own complete speechlessness at the news, felt a bit guilty for springing it on him like this.
And really, what had he expected?
He wasn\'t stupid enough to think that his sometimes grim lover was going to get up and dance about in happiness and joy, for Merlin\'s sake! The fact that Severus had actually been tearful when Harry had arrived home was a very rare occurance, as Harry well knew. Severus, although he\'d loosened up somewhat in the years they\'d been together, was still so tightly buttoned up emotionally its a wonder he didn\'t squeak, Harry had often thought. What little emotion he did indulge in was usually through actions rather than words, something Harry, although he still tried drawing him out, had come to more or less accept. The only emotion Severus felt free to give voice to, to Harry\'s consternation, was his anger, or his annoyance at Harry\'s relentless cheer.
I can\'t help that though Harry thought, the grumbly old bastard makes me happy.
He sighed again and hugged his knees tighter, considering whether or not to go and try talking to him. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until he was ready to talk, let him get used to the shock of it all, and calm his anger. Harry snorted softly, thinking he\'d never been exactly brilliant on that score. Maybe this would be a good time to finally take Sev\'s advice and stop to think before he acted.
Sudden retching sounds from the bathroom made him snap his head up off his knees.
"Maybe not," he muttered to himself, rushing off in the direction of the sounds.
**********
Severus had fallen to his knees before the toilet, certain he was going to lose everything he\'d ever eaten, before his willpower had finally forced it all back down and he leaned back, gasping.
He\'d never before felt such a roil of emotion churn through him as he had at Harry\'s news that he was pregnant.
Pregnant!
Oh Sweet Merlin in hell! Severus thought frantically, what have I done?!
Of course Harry hadn\'t known he could get pregnant! The boy had been raised by Muggles after all, and because it wasn\'t exactly an everyday occurance, Severus had been stupid enough to think that it wouldn\'t happen!
Yes, stupid!
He should have known. He should have known! He knew how much Harry meant to him, how much they meant to each other, how deeply tied to one another they were, through all that they\'d been through together! And, as amazed as it always made him feel, he knew how much Harry loved him. They had hated one another at first. Then it had evolved into a deep and surprising respect for one another as they\'d begun to realise that all they had previously thought about one another was very wrong. From that, they\'d grown to like one another, enjoy each other\'s company, and then they\'d somehow come to love one another. Had fallen in love, deeply, hopelessly, undeniably, with a bond so strong as to be unbreakable.
And that\'s what it took for wizards to make a baby together, an unbreakable bond, and Severus knew it. Knew it, and hadn\'t given it a second thought! He was beyond stupid!!
And now Harry was pregnant.
"He needs you, Severus, my boy. Harry needs you," the voice floated, unbidden, into his mind.
Go back to the seventh pit of hell where you belong, Old Man! Severus thought fiercely, rising to the occaision with an equally fierce scowl. Albus Dumbledore! If it weren\'t for that insufferable old codger and his interminable manipulating and meddling, Severus wouldn\'t be on his knees praying before that great porcelain equaliser right this very minute!
But then, his heart spoke up, you wouldn\'t have Harry.
Severus hung his head in guilt. It was true, he knew. If Albus hadn\'t forced Harry on him, no matter how the brat had infuriated him during his school days, Severus would have avoided him like the plague. As it was, when Harry had come to Hogwarts, Severus\'s first look into those emerald eyes had caused him untold amounts of pain, breaking open yet again the old wound that was Lily. Instead he had concentrated on the boy\'s startling resemblance to his old nemesis, James, and had hardened his heart against him. Eventually Severus had come to realise, incredibly enough thanks to that mongrel Black, that Harry was more like Lily than he\'d ever be like James. It had hurt no less, each look into those eyes a remembrance, but Severus had found himself drawn to the boy, and had come to find a sort of comfort in his nearness. He\'d reconsiled his feelings about his beloved Lily when he found himself falling in love with her son, telling himself that she\'d be happy her boy had someone who\'s devotion ran as deeply for him as it had for her.
Lily Severus thought, not for the first time, you were a gift in my lonely existance, but even you cannot compare to the gift you gave me in your only child.
Your child.
Who is pregnant.
With my child!
With your grandchild!!
Severus leaned forward towards the bowl and began to retch.
This chapter isn\'t quite as short as Chapter 3, but as I\'m on a roll at the moment, Chapter 5 shouldn\'t be too far behind! Many thanks to those who reviewed, particularly the very sweet SickPuppy, who has been spending her Christmas holiday ill! Here\'s to you, my dear, enjoy, and hope you\'re feeling better!
All That I Thought I\'d Left Behind
As the shock of his lover\'s outburst wore off, Harry closed his mouth along with his eyes. He sighed deeply and sat up, clutching his arms about his knees and staring into the fire. He felt annoyance at Severus for not letting him finish what he\'d been trying to say, but squashed it down before it could find an outlet, instead sighing deeply again.
Really, he thought to himself, what had he expected?
He\'d had second thoughts about presenting the startling news of his pregnancy to Severus as his Christmas gift, but he hadn\'t been able to think of any other way to broach the subject. He\'d been just as surprised as Severus and, recalling his own complete speechlessness at the news, felt a bit guilty for springing it on him like this.
And really, what had he expected?
He wasn\'t stupid enough to think that his sometimes grim lover was going to get up and dance about in happiness and joy, for Merlin\'s sake! The fact that Severus had actually been tearful when Harry had arrived home was a very rare occurance, as Harry well knew. Severus, although he\'d loosened up somewhat in the years they\'d been together, was still so tightly buttoned up emotionally its a wonder he didn\'t squeak, Harry had often thought. What little emotion he did indulge in was usually through actions rather than words, something Harry, although he still tried drawing him out, had come to more or less accept. The only emotion Severus felt free to give voice to, to Harry\'s consternation, was his anger, or his annoyance at Harry\'s relentless cheer.
I can\'t help that though Harry thought, the grumbly old bastard makes me happy.
He sighed again and hugged his knees tighter, considering whether or not to go and try talking to him. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until he was ready to talk, let him get used to the shock of it all, and calm his anger. Harry snorted softly, thinking he\'d never been exactly brilliant on that score. Maybe this would be a good time to finally take Sev\'s advice and stop to think before he acted.
Sudden retching sounds from the bathroom made him snap his head up off his knees.
"Maybe not," he muttered to himself, rushing off in the direction of the sounds.
**********
Severus had fallen to his knees before the toilet, certain he was going to lose everything he\'d ever eaten, before his willpower had finally forced it all back down and he leaned back, gasping.
He\'d never before felt such a roil of emotion churn through him as he had at Harry\'s news that he was pregnant.
Pregnant!
Oh Sweet Merlin in hell! Severus thought frantically, what have I done?!
Of course Harry hadn\'t known he could get pregnant! The boy had been raised by Muggles after all, and because it wasn\'t exactly an everyday occurance, Severus had been stupid enough to think that it wouldn\'t happen!
Yes, stupid!
He should have known. He should have known! He knew how much Harry meant to him, how much they meant to each other, how deeply tied to one another they were, through all that they\'d been through together! And, as amazed as it always made him feel, he knew how much Harry loved him. They had hated one another at first. Then it had evolved into a deep and surprising respect for one another as they\'d begun to realise that all they had previously thought about one another was very wrong. From that, they\'d grown to like one another, enjoy each other\'s company, and then they\'d somehow come to love one another. Had fallen in love, deeply, hopelessly, undeniably, with a bond so strong as to be unbreakable.
And that\'s what it took for wizards to make a baby together, an unbreakable bond, and Severus knew it. Knew it, and hadn\'t given it a second thought! He was beyond stupid!!
And now Harry was pregnant.
"He needs you, Severus, my boy. Harry needs you," the voice floated, unbidden, into his mind.
Go back to the seventh pit of hell where you belong, Old Man! Severus thought fiercely, rising to the occaision with an equally fierce scowl. Albus Dumbledore! If it weren\'t for that insufferable old codger and his interminable manipulating and meddling, Severus wouldn\'t be on his knees praying before that great porcelain equaliser right this very minute!
But then, his heart spoke up, you wouldn\'t have Harry.
Severus hung his head in guilt. It was true, he knew. If Albus hadn\'t forced Harry on him, no matter how the brat had infuriated him during his school days, Severus would have avoided him like the plague. As it was, when Harry had come to Hogwarts, Severus\'s first look into those emerald eyes had caused him untold amounts of pain, breaking open yet again the old wound that was Lily. Instead he had concentrated on the boy\'s startling resemblance to his old nemesis, James, and had hardened his heart against him. Eventually Severus had come to realise, incredibly enough thanks to that mongrel Black, that Harry was more like Lily than he\'d ever be like James. It had hurt no less, each look into those eyes a remembrance, but Severus had found himself drawn to the boy, and had come to find a sort of comfort in his nearness. He\'d reconsiled his feelings about his beloved Lily when he found himself falling in love with her son, telling himself that she\'d be happy her boy had someone who\'s devotion ran as deeply for him as it had for her.
Lily Severus thought, not for the first time, you were a gift in my lonely existance, but even you cannot compare to the gift you gave me in your only child.
Your child.
Who is pregnant.
With my child!
With your grandchild!!
Severus leaned forward towards the bowl and began to retch.