Beauty and Sadness

This fic doesn't appear popular, but I think it's better than any SS/HG pairing.

At any rate, I've been up half the %#@!in' night writing this chapter. Enjoy!

*

Lily gulped uncertainly. Then her mouth firmed. “Sev, you have to undo whatever you’ve done to Madam Pince,” she hissed. Both of them were trying to keep their voices down, although the staircase they were underneath saw little traffic.

Snape was taken by surprise. “Undo—"

“I mean it! You don’t run around using Unforgivable Curses! Especially not for a bloody library book!”

The corner of Snape’s mouth twisted up. If only she knew what he had been using Unforgivable Curses for back at Malfoy Mansion… On the other hand, things at Malfoy Mansion were starting to bother him. The last session had been enough to put him off his dinner. “All right,” he said lazily.

Lily’s brow cleared. “Right,” she echoed, looking vastly relieved.

“So,” he said briskly, “when are we going to try out this test?”

Lily’s green eyes slid away. “Let’s do it as soon as possible,” she murmured.

“How about now?”

Her eyes slid back to his, anxiety writ large there. “All right. Where?”

Snape was about to suggest the same place in the forest, but then he thought they might be discovered. Thinking quickly, he remembered a magnificent room full of ancient books that only he seemed to know about. “I know someplace.” He took her arm and began pulling her up the staircase. Lily clambered after him.

When they got to the seventh floor, Snape strode to the hallway with the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and the trolls dancing ballet. Lily blinked at the tapestry and then at Snape. He ignored her and began pacing up and down in front of the blank expanse of wall.

I need that library room to be alone with Lily. I need that library room to be alone with Lily. I need that library room to be alone with Lily.

A door appeared in the wall. Snape grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her inside. Once past the threshold, he hastily shut the door and turned around. “Oi! This isn’t what it used to be!” He stared in perplexity at the room, as did Lily. They were in a comfortable turret room with a tall, narrow window through which they could see a cloudless sky. Beautiful tapestries hung on the walls. Scented candles flickered on a small table and from sconces, and a fire was crackling in the fireplace. Close to the fire was a cozy daybed with bolster pillows and a duvet slung over it.

“Sev, how’d you find out about this place?” Lily said softly, looking around.

He didn’t try pretending that this was what he intended. “It, er, looked different before. It was just a room full of books, someplace I could study and practice, but—it must adapt to whatever your—yeah! To whatever your needs are! This must be that Come and Go Room the house elves talk about. You remember?”

Lily frowned slightly. “I remember something like that. I didn’t pay it much attention.”

“The Come and Go Room!” Snape said happily, looking around.

“I think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you,” Lily said.

He looked down at her. “No,” he said, his voice changing, “this is the happiest.” And he leaned down and set his lips lightly on hers.

When he stood up again, Lily looked a little dazed. He took her hand, and walked to the daybed. There he kicked off his shoes, sat down, and patted his lap. After a brief hesitation, she closed the distance between them and turned to sit down. But as she did, he opened his legs so that she was sitting between them, his thighs on either side of hers. He pulled her gently backward until her back rested against his chest. This, this was what he had been wanting and waiting for all these years, since he was 10, even! He ran the palms of his hands up and down her arms, then pulled her thick hair aside and put his lips against the vulnerable back of her neck.

Her head turned slowly under the hot pressure of his lips. “Sev, we should, you know, get on with the test...”

“In a minute.” He put his mouth close to her ear. “I want it to feel good.” He heard her catch her breath. “You tell me what you like.”

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

His fingers traced their way up her throat, then threaded through her hair. “You have the prettiest hair, Lily,” he said softly in her ear. She didn’t say anything, but he saw the pink flush on her neck, and the sight of that somehow made his already hardened cock twitch. He put burning kisses along the side of her neck and couldn’t stop his hands from moving down to cup her full breasts through her robes. Now she was leaning against him, her head in the hollow of his shoulder, as he touched and gently squeezed her through her robes.

“Sev...” she said, so softly he almost couldn’t hear her. “I don’t know why I feel this way about you. I know some of the things you do. And they’re wrong, they’re just wrong. But I know you aren’t like the others, Sev. I’ve known you for a long time. And this feeling just comes over me when I’m with you.” Her voice dropped even further, and he had to press his cheek to hers to hear it. “I want you so much. I try to stop it. I know it’s trouble. But I want you so much…”

At that, he took her jaw in his hand and turned her head so he could kiss her fully on her reddened lips. Her body felt malleable and willing in his hands. He slid his hands under her robes, unhooked her bra, and began touching her again. He kept his touch light and the pinches gentle, but when he gathered a breast in each hand and brushed the nipples with his thumbs, he let his touch get firmer. He could feel her arching against him.

Although his cock urged him to explore lower under Lily’s robes, a small, calculating part of his brain held back. Lily was almost a virgin. She might not expect such a quick transition from above the waist petting to below. So for agonized moments, he continued to play with her breasts. He was aware, in some small part of his brain, that she was pressing her resilient bum against his straining cock. Then she took his hand in hers and guided him down.

He tugged at the edge of her knickers. “Let’s take them off.”

With no hesitation this time, she slid them off. Her robes were still flowing over her, but under them, Snape’s hands were busy. He pulled her more securely against him and gently pulled open her thighs. As he stroked the outside of her lower lips, he said in her ear, “You tell me if it feels good. Or not.”

She didn’t answer. He knew she had heard him, and she hadn’t answered. He curved his free hand around her jaw again, keeping his fingertips against the outside of her vulva, feeling the thick wetness there. “I mean it, Lily. Tell me. None of this bravery rubbish.”

“You don’t tell me everything,” she said, and he saw the blush rise again on her neck. She must have realized she sounded petulant.

“I don’t, and you don’t always want to know. But when we’re like this—I tell you everything. I’m telling you everything.” He dipped one fingertip between her slick lips, and her head fell back again on his shoulder. “Tell me.” He pushed his long middle finger just inside the lips and began stroking her slit. “Were you sore from before?” His eyes were closed, but he could feel the heat of her blushes.

“No.”

“Who’s lying now?” He continued to stroke her.

“I’m not—oh, God, Sev—it was a, not really sore. Felt good. Oh, God.” This last was said in a whisper as he probed past the ring of muscle inside her and crooked his fingertip upward. He burrowed his other hand under her robes, took hold of one of her firm buttocks and gently spread her. Her inner muscles were gripping his finger rhythmically, urging him deeper.

“You like it?” he muttered. He let a knuckle graze her clit. She sucked in her breath, and his cock seemed to take proportions hitherto only imagined. “Tell me.” He slid his finger in slightly deeper, and suddenly felt her draw in her knees reflexively. Anger and concern shot through him. “You have to tell me, Lily,” he rasped, withdrawing the finger a fraction.

She swallowed.

Cautiously, he pushed his finger in at a different angle.

“That’s better,” she said in a tense voice.

He couldn’t help kissing the side of her neck again, pulling her against him and using his hands to urge her to lean back. Still keeping her pussy lips open, he said, “Take my hand and guide me in.”

She put her hand on his without any fuss, but he felt her fingers trembling. His eyes flew open. “Lily? Are you scared?”

“No.”

Damn Gryffindors.

“Haven’t you ever used, er,” What did girls use? Tampons? Something? Lucius’ stash of wizard porn suggested that witches shoved all manner of objects up their private parts with joyful abandon, but common sense told Snape that the young witches at Hogwarts were unlikely to be acquainted with much more than a fumbling finger. His weren’t fumbling. “It’s OK,” he said, trying to sound soothing, a tone seldom used toward him. “Just take my hand and guide my finger in. Slow and steady.”

He could feel the shaky fingers on his hand again. But after a second, she tilted his hand until his finger seemed to be moving toward the small of her back, rather than upward into her body, as he had thought was the way to go. He felt her narrow inner sheath accommodating his searching finger. “Relax,” he said, and pushed his finger all the way in. He heard her little gasp again. His cock reassumed its swollen length.

“My wand. Where’s the bloody thing?” He groped around the daybed and immediately came in contact with his wand. Somewhere in his mind, he tucked away that bit of information about the Come and Go Room: gets you what you want when you want it. “All right.” His finger was inside her deeply, and she was beginning to make little rocking movements on it while her internal muscles squeezed his finger. If his cock were being squeezed and stroked like that—he closed his eyes and wrenched his thoughts back to the job at hand. “Right. Er, Monstraro.”

They both looked at the wand. Nothing happened. Lily frowned. “Did you say it right?”

“I think I did. Monstraro,” he said with authority. Again, nothing happened.

Lily laughed, his finger still inside her. Snape glared. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s negative! I’m not pregnant!” she said with jubilation and relief. Snape slumped back against the daybed. “Oh. Oh, Sev,” she said. “I didn’t mean… You really wanted me to be pregnant?”

A niggling thought crossed his mind: What if she were pregnant…but by someone else? Potter, for instance? For a moment, his world tilted and his inner eye seemed to stare down into the chasm. Should he hurtle toward it? Then another part of his mind yanked him back from the precipice. What was he thinking? Lily wouldn’t cheat on him.

He nuzzled her throat. “I did.” He let his finger move lazily inside her.

“I-I don’t want to go through that again, Sev. It was horrible. I’ve found out the spells now.” She said them rapidly, and Snape noted that she said both of them, not just the older one that most people knew, but the newer addition that was more effective.

“No,” he lied and agreed, “let’s not go through that again.”

He moved his finger inside her again, and she started rocking on him. And then, he didn’t want to hold back. He pulled out his finger, unzipped his trousers, and replaced his finger with his cock head. Lily pushed back firmly on it, taking the head inside her as he spread her sex, and then slowly eased down on his swollen shaft.

Snape wanted more than anything to be on top of her, to dominate her in his disappointment. But she felt so good on his cock and her moans of pleasure were so obviously uninhibited that he found himself stroking her clitoris as she bounced on his engorged rod. Her cries got higher, her legs began to thrash, and suddenly, Lily Evans ground her slick, congested pussy on him and began to come, her hips bucking. Snape found himself thickening even more.

Snape rolled, putting her under him on the bed (now a bit wider), and pushing his cock up her again. Then he rode her hard, ignoring the gasps of her second orgasm, enjoying her protestations of fatigue and cries of delight as his cock spread her still wider, and finally, as she crested for a third time, her whole pussy clamping around him, he began shooting his come inside her.

As they lay on the daybed, Snape found himself craving a habit he had hidden thus far from Lily. “Accio,” he looked around, “accio...”

“What are you looking for?” she murmured.

The sought-for item appeared, and with great relief, Snape removed one from its pack, found the lighter, and lit up.

“Oh,” she said. She sounded deflated.

He pulled her closer against his body. His brain was already clicking away, thinking of other ways to get her to marry him. “Don’t be disappointed, love,” he said, remembering how he coughed on his first fag at 13. “I haven’t been smoking long.”