When you love two

She closed the door and leaned back against it, her breathing still slightly ragged, her lips still tingling. No matter how much she tried, the smile refused to leave her face. Every part of her wanted to throw the door back open and go to Charlie, but she knew she couldn’t, that she shouldn’t; she had a decision to make first.

What had happened with Charlie that night had been strange, and at the same time, not at all surprising. She hadn’t known she felt that way about him, not until he had kissed her, and then it all suddenly seemed to make sense.

He was always there, taking care of her, keeping her company when she needed it, understanding, and never judging. He always made her smile, made her feel better, no matter what was going on in her mind. He knew her, what she liked and what she hated, and the same thing happened to her.

He had told her he loved her, and now she realized she loved him as well.

It wasn’t strange, the fact that she hadn’t known until then. It had happened so gradually, so slowly, so different than what it had been like with Bill.

Bill. What would she do about that? She loved him too, loved him desperately, and she didn’t want to think she would have to choose between them. How would she ever do that? She couldn’t imagine her life without them in it, and no matter whom she chose she would lose the other.

She forced her body away from the door and made her way into the kitchen. She made some tea and sat down at the table. As much as she hated it, she had to make a decision, and it couldn’t wait. Maybe the logical approach, the one that always worked for her, would help this time. It would be a long night.

She went through every aspect of the situation she could think of, focusing on it like she would any other problem. Most people would think she was crazy, but that was just the way her brain worked. Just take the facts, and find the solution. Of course, it wasn’t so easy this time.

Bill was making her suffer, even if he didn’t do it on purpose. He had his wife, and sometimes she wondered if he only went to her when he was bored with his life. Of course, those thoughts went away whenever they were together. He loved her, she knew that. She could see it in his eyes, in the way he touched her, held her.

The situation wasn’t easy for him, either, but he had never promised her more than what they had. She had been okay with it at fist, but it had been years now, and she didn’t think she could live the rest of her life like that. What she wanted was what she had every time they went away together, when they could be free, spend every hour with him, not having to worry about who might see, or suspect. When all they cared about was each other. That was the life she desired, the life they could have had, if he were a free man.

Charlie could give her that, too. He would make her happy, like he always did. He would never do anything to hurt her. That night she had discovered Charlie loved her, and that she loved him back. Maybe that was her second chance, her opportunity to make a choice with both her head and her heart. Maybe she was thinking too far ahead, but she knew if she gave Charlie a chance, she wouldn’t regret it; except for the fact that it would mean losing Bill.

So many years wondering what love was like, wondering if she would ever find the right man for her, and now she had two men she loved, two men that loved her back. How would she ever choose?

She was meeting Charlie for dinner the next day; she would have to make her decision before then, and the only way to do so was talking to Bill.

They had been together for a long time, and he deserved a last chance. Maybe, if she talked to him, told her how she felt, maybe things would change. Maybe he would leave his wife, to be with her. Maybe.

She didn’t get much sleep that night, and when she did, her dreams were confusing, restless. For once in her life, she was glad she had to go to work that morning. At least that would help her keep both Bill and Charlie out of her mind for a few hours. She would visit Bill that afternoon, and decide what her life would be like, from then on. And no matter what she decided, she would lose a man she loved, and with him, a part of herself.


“Hermione, what are you doing here?” Bill asked, surprised, as he opened his door to find her standing there nervously.

“I wanted to see you,” she replied. “What is the matter, is she here?” she asked, after a few seconds of silence.

“What? No. No, she’s not here. Come in,” he said, opening the door a little wider and ushering her inside.

“What’s happened to you?” she asked, once they were inside. She could see new scars in his face and neck.

“What? Oh this,” he said, following her gaze. “Full moon.”

“You hadn’t hurt yourself for a long time; not after the first few months. Did something happen?

“No, nothing,” he answered, doing the top buttons of his shirt up.

“You look nervous,” she said, after a few moments.

“You shouldn’t come here, someone might see you.”

“Of course,” she answered, in a low voice, turning away from him.

“I am sorry,” he sighed, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her from behind. “I am just surprised to see you here.”

Feeling him so close, having his strong arms around her, it made everything so much more difficult.

“You said you would come over yesterday morning,” she finally said.

“I know. I am sorry, but she was here most of the day. She is staying in France a few days longer than expected, and she needed some more clothes.”

“She will be away then?” she asked, and felt him nod against her shoulder. “So, will you come over tonight?”

She felt his arms stiffen around her before he spoke.

“I wish I could, I really do, but…”

“But what?” she asked, turning around to face him.

“She wants me to go to France with her. I am leaving in a few hours.”

For a few moments, she stayed in silence, her brain refusing to work. When she spoke, it took all her energy to keep her voice normal.

“You could have told me you were leaving.”

“I was just about to Floo you.” Well, how nice of him.

“Why don’t you tell her you can’t go? Maybe we could spend a few days together,” she suggested, holding her breath as she waited for him to answer.

“I’m sorry, love. I really wish I could stay here with you, but you know how she will get, if I refuse to leave now.”

“Of course, it was stupid of me to ask. I should go now, I am sure you still have a lot of packing to do,” she said, in a low voice, stepping away from him and towards the door.

“Hermione, wait,” he said, stopping her just as she reached for the doorknob. She turned to face him again, but didn’t speak. “I have to go with her, but I will make it up to you, I promise. We can go away as soon as I get back; just the two of us. Maybe I can ask my boss for a mission abroad, and we could go away together, for a few days.”

She looked at him, listened to what he was saying, but it was the same story over and over again, the same words she had heard countless times during the last two years, and she knew that would be the rest of her life if she let him.

“I am sorry, Bill,” she said, fighting back the tears welling in her eyes, “but I cannot do that.”

“Do what?” he asked, confused.

“This will never change, will it?” she whispered, sadly. You will never leave her.” The truth was, she had never asked him to leave Fleur, never made him choose between them, and she wouldn’t start then. She would have to make the choice for him.

“She doesn’t matter to me, Hermione. You are the one I love, you know that.”

“I cannot live like this, Bill.”

“Live like this?”

“I am just standing still, watching my life go by, as I wait for you to have a few spare minutes you might want to spend with me. I don’t think I deserve this.”

“It’s not like that, baby. You know I love you; you are the only one, always in my mind. You are everything I could ever dream of.”

“Then why are you still with her?” she interrupted.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. She gave him a few more seconds, but he didn’t say anything.

“I have a chance to be happy, Bill. I have a chance to move on with my life, to stop waiting for you, and I have to take it.”

“Why are you saying those things? Why now? Is there someone else?” he asked, and she could see the desperation in his eyes.

“Of course there is, Bill, but not for me,” she answered, with a sad smile. “There is someone else for you, the woman you always go back to, no matter how much you claim to love me. I cannot live like this any more.”

She could see the pain in his eyes, the same she felt, but she had to be strong; it had to end.

He took a step closer to her, his fingers caressing her cheek as he leaned down and kissed her softly, lovingly. It was only making it harder.

“Bill,” she whispered, trying to pull back, but he wound his arms around her, trying to keep her closer.

“I love you,” he whispered by her ear. “I need you, Hermione; I can’t live without you.”

“You can, Bill, and I will have to live without you, too.”

His eyes locked on hers, and she could see he was trying to think of a way to stop her from leaving. She knew if he said something else, she would never be able to leave, so she gently placed her finger on his lips when he started to speak. She kissed her one more time, before whispering, “Goodbye.” There was no stopping the tears now, as she opened the door and left the man she loved behind.

She decided to walk back home. It was a long way, but she needed time to think, and the fresh air always helped her calm down. She couldn’t really believe what she had just done. She knew it was the right thing, the smart thing, but that didn’t make it any easier.

For the past two years, her whole life had revolved around Bill. Every decision she made, her job, the time she spent with her friends, depended on him, even if he didn’t know. Now that she had finally ended things, she felt lost, not sure what to do next. She hadn’t done anything for herself in such a long time, it was disconcerting.

Maybe it was a good thing; it was time she started looking after herself. She was young, and had her whole life ahead of her. The hard part was over, telling him it was the end, leaving him behind, walking away.

It had broken her heart, but it had to be done. Not because of Charlie, she wasn’t just changing one man for another; she was doing it for herself. Charlie was the little push in the right direction she had needed all along. Bill would never give her the kind of life she wanted, the kind of life she needed. She would never stop loving him, but they couldn’t be together; that was the sad truth, and she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

She stood in front of her door, not sure how she had gotten there, so lost in thought the entire way. Taking a deep breath, she wiped away the tears that hadn’t stopped falling since she had left his house, and stepped into her place, suddenly full of resolution. It was time to leave the past behind, time to move on. As she closed the door behind her, she also left all thoughts of Bill outside.

She glanced at the clock on the wall; Charlie would be there in about an hour. She didn’t really feel like going out, but she wasn’t about to cancel their date either.

Date. That word sounded so strange. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had a real date, and was surprised at how the mere thought of seeing Charlie made her feel, nervous and excited, all at the same time. Maybe she could make dinner, and they could stay there. Yes, that sounded like a good idea.

The knock on the door startled her, and when she looked at the clock on the wall she frowned. It was still early. She quickly washed her hands and walked out of the kitchen. She was just getting to the door when she froze. What if it wasn’t Charlie? What if Bill had, for some reason, decided to stay in London, and was now knocking on her door, wanting to talk to her again. Would she be able to keep her resolve if she saw him again, if he kissed her, if he told her he loved her?

And even worse, what if he and Charlie ran into each other there? She hadn’t told Charlie that Bill was the one she had been seeing, but he was smart, and he would figure it out in a second. Would they both hate her then? Maybe they would think she had been playing with them or something. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of the possibility of them finding out until then.

“Hermione?” Charlie’s voice called from the other side of the door, and she sighed in relief. She opened the door and smiled at him, only then realizing she was still wearing some worn out jeans and an old tee shirt.

“You are early,” she said, letting him in, and mentally kicking herself for not changing her clothes before.

“I thought we could go for a walk before dinner,” he said. “I will wait if you want to change.”

“Actually, I thought maybe we could stay here tonight. I was just making dinner.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m early, that way I can help. I think something is burning,” he said, with a mischievous smile, and without a word, she ran back into the kitchen.

“Charlie Weasley,” she yelled, after a few moments, and heard him laugh. “Nothing is burning.”

“Really? Then what is that smell?” he asked, stopping a few feet from her. Stifling a laugh, she turned around and playfully swatted him in the arm. “So, what is it you are cooking?” he asked, looking over her shoulder, trying to see what she was doing.

“Lasagne,” she answered.

“Yummy. How can I help?” he asked then, and she smiled.

“You could set the table.”

“Sure thing.” He had spent many days in her place, and already knew where everything was, so he set to the task right away.

She checked the oven to make sure everything looked the way it should, then moved to the sink and flicked her wand, making the pans start cleaning themselves. When she was sure everything was in order, she went to the dining room, where she was surprised to find the table set, and a few candles lighting the room.

“How did you do it so fast?” she asked, surprised.

“Magic,” he answered, with a smile, as he walked closer to her and offered her a glass of wine.

“Magic?” she asked, in mock surprise, as she took the glass.

“So, is everything ready?”

“Yes, I just have to go change.”

“You don’t have to change if you don’t want to; if you are more comfortable that way.”

“But you look so handsome, I can’t have dinner with you, dressed like this,” she said, looking down at her clothes.

“I think you look just perfect,” he replied, making her smile. He was always so sweet. “All right, fine,” he said when she hesitated. “Go change, and I’ll take care of everything here.”

“You will?”

“What, you think I can’t?”

“I will be back in a minute,” she said, ignoring the question. “Just make sure the Lasagne doesn’t burn.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he mocked, turning around and walking into the kitchen.

She ran up the stairs, her mind going through everything she had in her wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear. She should have thought of that earlier. As soon as she reached her bedroom, she started undressing, carelessly throwing the jeans and tee shirt on the bed.

She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment, and noticed she had bits of something that looked like cheese in her hair. Dear Merlin, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed before! Cursing, she went into the bathroom for a quick shower.

She was amazed at how little time it took her to get ready. In just a few minutes, she popped in and out of the shower, dried her hair, put on some black underwear, not too sexy, not too plain, and then a simple strapless black dress. She glanced back just as she was about to leave the room and, with a flick of her wand, made the clothes fly back into the wardrobe. There was nothing wrong with being prepared.

She made her way back down, and saw Charlie quickly get up from the chair and stand at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her. She couldn’t help but smile at him, and felt the butterflies in her tummy go wild when he took her hand and, never breaking eye contact, lifted it to his lips and kissed it softly, just like in the movies.

Proud at herself for not giggling once, she walked next to him as he guided her to the table and pushed a chair back for her.

“Do you like Lasagne? I made it myself,” he whispered by her ear, and this time, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“You did? How very nice of you,” she replied, trying to straighten her face but failing miserably.

“I had to impress my date,” he said, walking to the other side of the table and sitting right in front of her. She noticed the table was much smaller than usual, and was glad he had changed it. That way, they could sit closer together.

Talking to Charlie was always easy. He never judged her, never made her feel uncomfortable. He was always supportive, and at the same time, she could trust him to give her his honest opinion about anything she asked. It was curious, when she thought about it, that she hadn’t realized how she felt about him until then. It had been there, right in front of her, the whole time. She simply had been too distracted to notice.

Just like the night before, time seemed to fly away, and before she knew it, it was almost midnight, and they were sitting by the fire, drinking wine and laughing.

“You know,” she said, after a moment’s silence, her eyes on the fire, as she watched the flames move and change colour. “I think it is time for me to quit my job.”

“I think you are right,” he answered, after a few moments. “I don’t even know why you have kept it in the first place.”

“Have to pay the rent, you know?” she joked, although she knew what he meant.

“You could find another job in a minute.”

“You think?”

“Of course I do,” he answered, turning so that he was facing her. “You are smart, and hard working, and did I mention smart?” he asked, making her laugh. “You could do anything you wanted, get any job you wanted.”

“Maybe I could work in something related to runes. I would love that,” she whispered, her eyes back on the fire.

“Anything,” he repeated. “Anything you wanted.” She stayed in silence for a few minutes, thinking what she would like to do with her life, what kind of job she wanted, what it would feel like, to finally do something challenging. “Speaking of jobs,” he said suddenly, bringing her back to reality, “I have to work tomorrow.”

“It’s not that late.”

“Maybe not for someone who is planning on leaving her job,” he said, as he slowly got up.

“You could stay a little longer,” she said, as she, too, got up. “At least until we finish the wine.”

“I would love to, but it is late, and I should go,” he said, and then started walking to the door.

“I had a great time tonight,” he said, as he reached for the knob and opened the door.

“Me too,” she replied, following him and stopping just a few feet away.

“The Lasagne was delicious.”

“Yes, you should cook more often,” she said, laughing.

“I could cook again tomorrow night, if you want.”

“That sounds good.”

“Good night, then,” he said, and took a step closer to her, before tilting his head slightly and kissing her softly.

“Yes, good night,” she repeated, when he pulled back, leaning forward to kiss him again.

“Night,” he whispered, between kisses. She mumbled something he couldn’t understand, as she stepped closer to him. “It’s late.”

“Yes,” she muttered, still not pulling back.

“I should go,” he said, even as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kicked the door shut behind him.

“Right,” she muttered back, her hands on his neck as she deepened the kiss.

She felt his strong arms around her, pulling her flush against his body as he kissed her. Everything about it felt so right. The kiss was growing more and more heated, and after a few moments, he tilted his head back, both panting slightly.

“Are you sure?” he asked, as his eyes locked on hers. She wanted to answer, but couldn’t find her voice, so she simply smiled at him and kissed him again.

Accepting her decision, he kept her close to him as he kissed her back, his arms moving down, caressing her legs before he placed his hands on her thighs and pulled her up, making her wrap her legs around his hips, their lips still locked together.

She held on to his shoulders as she felt him move, but refused to break the kiss, even for a second, to see where he was going. Only when he turned around and her back hit something solid did she tilt her head back, and looked around surprised. They were standing right next to her bedroom, and Charlie was trying to open the door.

“You carried me here?” she asked, surprised.

“Yes,” he said, as he struggled to reach the doorknob without dropping her. “Here we go,” he said, finally throwing the door open.

“Let me down, you’ll hurt yourself,” she said, when she felt both his hands going back to her thighs.

“Nonsense,” he muttered, and leaned forward to kiss her again. He pushed her harder against the wall, kissing her with a passion that surprised her, before finally pulling back and carrying her into the room.

She tried to protest again, but he silenced her with yet another kiss, as he walked to the bed and laid her on it. She opened her eyes when he let go of her, and panting slightly she watched him, standing by her, his breathing still ragged as he looked at her. The next moment, she felt the heat of his body against hers again, as he leaned on top of her.

His hands made their way down her body, making her shiver, and then back up her thighs, as he gently pressed his knee between her legs, pushing them apart so that he could rest his body between them.

“So beautiful,” he whispered by her ear, before kissing her neck. She was so sensitive there, the simple touch of his lips against her skin made her moan and wrap her arms around his shoulders, pushing him closer.

His hands were strong and gentle at the same time, just like the rest of him, making every inch of her skin yearn for his touch.

She moved her arms between them, wanting to feel more of him, but she couldn’t unbutton his shirt, at least not as fast as she wanted, so as she muttered, “To hell with it,” she reached for her wand and simply spelled the shirt away.

“That’s cheating,” he whispered, as he wrapped his fingers around the hand that still held the wand and pinned it over her head.

“What are you going to do about it?” she asked huskily, keeping her lips just a breath away from his, and seeing the desire in his eyes.

Without a word, he took the wand from her hand and, with a mischievous smile, vanished her dress too.

His skin felt so warm against hers, so good. One of his hands slowly travelled up the side of her body, his thumb caressing her breast on its way, and when she moaned at the feeling, he took the chance, kissing her deeply.

What he was doing felt amazing, but she needed more, so she pushed her arms between them again, her fingers fumbling to undo his trousers, even as she felt his hands move to her back, unclasping her bra and throwing it to the side.

His lips slowly made their way down her jaw, to her collarbone, and then kept kissing their way down, until they reached her breast. She felt his lips, his tongue leaving a hot trail as it circled her nipple, and she arched against his mouth, moaning his name.

But it was going too slow; she needed more, she needed him.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pushed his hips to her just as she arched up, feeling that delicious contact she wanted so desperately.

“Charlie,” she almost whimpered, and when he tilted his head back to look at her, she could see the same desire, the same need in his eyes that she was sure he was seeing in hers.

Without a word, he kissed her again, as his hand moved between her legs, making her moan louder and push against it. She felt his fingers push her knickers to the side, and then he touched her, teasingly at first, but after a few moments he slipped a finger inside her body.

She bit her lip and arched her back, and she could tell, by the way he was looking at her, that they both wanted the same thing.

She unwrapped her legs from around him after a few moments, wanting to give him better access to her body, and as she did it, she felt another finger push inside of her, just as his thumb flicked over her clit.

His fingers were moving faster, his eyes still fixed on her, watching her every reaction, trying to learn what she liked, what drove her crazy. He was a fast learner, and had her writhing within minutes.

“Yes,” he whispered, when her muscles tensed around his fingers. “Come for me, love.”

Those words were the last push she needed, and she felt the world come undone around her, as she screamed his name in pleasure.

When her body stopped writhing, and her breathing started to calm, she opened her eyes again, to find him leaning over her, his lips just inches from hers, and his eyes full of lust.

She opened her mouth to say something, although she had no idea what, but his kiss silenced her as his hands parted her legs, and she felt his erection graze her inner thigh. She didn’t know when he had removed the rest of their clothes, and honestly didn’t care. All that mattered to her in that moment was to feel him, to have him in her.

Then he pushed inside of her, slowly at first, but soon gaining speed as they found their rhythm. It was amazing how his thrusts could be hard and deep sometimes, and still feel gentle.

Her hands moved around his shoulders, as she held on to him, and when he hit that perfect spot inside of her, she tightened her grip, sinking her nails in his skin, making him moan and move faster.

He kissed her again, almost desperately, as he moved inside of her, and she felt her muscles contracting again, that sweet tension in her body, threatening to snap. When his thumb found her clit again, it became too much, and she arched against him, screaming in pleasure, and taking him with her.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, all she knew was she was lying in bed, on her side, and Charlie was lying behind her, his arms wrapped possessively around her waist as he held her close.

“Are you all right?” he whispered by her ear, when her eyes fluttered open.

“Perfect,” she answered, snuggling closer to his warm body.

“I have to go, love. I have to be at work in less that an hour,” he said, and she could tell he hated that idea as much as she did.

“You could stay here. Maybe call in sick,” she suggested, as she turned around in his arms, so that she was facing him. He thought about it for a minute, and then smiled at her.

“I guess I could, but what about you? You have to go to work too.”

“I am quitting, remember?”

“So you were serious?” he asked, and she nodded. “In that case, I think a celebration is in order,” he whispered, before kissing her deeply.

“I agree,” she replied between kisses, but after a few moments he groaned and pulled back. “What’s wrong?” she asked, confused.

“I just remembered I have a meeting today, with the Minister. I can’t miss it,” he said, apologetically.

“Really?”

“Really. But we could still celebrate as soon as it’s over, if you want to.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she replied, and kissed him again.

It took him another ten minutes to get out of bed, and get dressed, her hungry eyes following his every move.

“I’ll see you later then.”

She didn’t reply, she simply got up from bed, wrapping the sheets around her, and walked to him. She gave him a quick kiss, then took his hand and walked out of the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m walking you to the door,” she said, matter-of-factly.

“I do know my way there, you know?”

“Of course you do,” she replied, as they reached the door. “Don’t forget you promised to make dinner tonight,” she said, with a smile.

“I won’t. Good bye,” he said, and leaned closer to kiss her. Then he turned around again, and opened the door. “You know,” he said, stopping under the doorframe and turning to her again. “I wasn’t sure if I should mention it, but now you are planning on leaving your job…”

“What is it?”

“I got a call the other day, from Romania. They have a new dragon in the reservation, a wild Hungarian Horntail. They need some help with her, and asked me if I could go there, for a few days.”

“You are leaving?”

“Well, I haven’t gone back in months, so I thought I would. But you always said you wanted to visit the reservation too, and now you will have the time,” he said, nervously.

“You want me to go with you?”

“Well, it will be only a few days, I thought you might like it,” he said, and when she smiled, she saw him relax a little.

“Charlie, I think…” she started, but he interrupted.

“You don’t need to answer right now. Give it some thought, and you can tell me what you decide when I come back,” he said, with another nervous smile.

She took a step closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her.

“I would love to go with you,” she said, and saw that beautiful smile of his that always lit his face and made her smile in return. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up, holding her close as he kissed her again.

“Okay, I have to go now,” he said, as he put her back on her feet. “Go back to bed, or you will catch a cold.”

“Later, then,” she muttered, and kissed him once more before he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

She turned around and leaned against the door, her breathing still ragged, and her heart hammering in her chest. All she wanted was to throw the door open and go back to him, have his strong arms wrapped around her, making her feel safe and loved. But she knew he had to go, and so did she. She had a job to quit, and warm clothes to buy for the trip to Romania.

She couldn’t believe her life had changed so much in just a few hours.

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First of all, sorry for the long wait. I'm trying to finish my other chaptered fic (Saving Your Life) and it's keeping me really busy.
Thanks for all the reviews you sent so far, they are great, and really encouraging :D
Hope you liked this chapter, and don't forget to review! You know how happy that makes me!! :D