Let Me Not Admit Impediments

Four

The next morning at breakfast, Bill couldn’t look at Charlie. He didn’t know what he feared more, seeing Charlie laugh at him for getting to him so much, triumph at quite obviously making Bill come, or … something else. So he didn’t look up. Didn’t look, and didn’t speak.

When afterwards Fred said, ‘So, same teams as yesterday?’ Bill excused himself. He couldn’t play Quidditch today. He couldn’t play Quidditch will Charlie, or even think about it. His brothers protested and tried to persuade him, but Bill shook his head.

‘I’ve got other things to do,’ he said.

Percy used the opportunity to excuse himself as well. He had never been a fan of playing Quidditch, not being the sportive type himself, but hadn’t dared to say no when his brothers asked. Now that Bill, the oldest, cried off, he felt he didn’t have to worry about being mocked.

‘Okay, then, Ron,’ said Charlie and clapped his hands. ‘Let’s go see how we two can hold up against the twins, eh?’

Bill was happy that Charlie would be playing Quidditch. It could take all day, and that meant that he didn’t have to face his brother. After Charlie, Ron, and the twins had trouped out, Bill got his book and found himself a nice, sunny spot in the garden. Soon, he was immersed in Carolus’s adventures again.

A shadow falling across his book alerted Bill to the fact that the Quidditch match was over. He looked up frowning, and saw that none other than Charlie was standing in front of him. Instantly, without thinking, he dropped his eyes back to his book and did his damnedest to ignore his brother.

Only, Charlie wasn’t to be ignored. ‘Bill?’ he said, somewhat hesitantly.

Bill heard him, his concentration on Carolus lost the moment he’d seen his brother, but didn’t react.

Charlie squatted down in front of him. ‘Bill? Please, are you angry with me?’

Angry? Bill thought. No, he wasn’t, he realised. Not angry. Terribly uncertain, confused, and, yes, a bit afraid. Not to forget horny. But not angry. But he still didn’t react.

Charlie sighed and moved to sit down next to Bill. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said quietly. ‘I didn’t mean to … to make you angry. Please, Bill, don’t be angry with me!’

The pleading voice was too much for Bill to resist. ‘I’m not,’ he said shortly.

Charlie shook his head. ‘I think you are. You’re not talking to me and—’

‘Fine,’ snapped Bill and looked up to glare at his brother. ‘I’m angry then! Go away!’

‘I’m sorry, Bill,’ Charlie said. His voice was so small and lost that Bill had to grab his book very hard to stop himself form turning and hugging his brother. ‘I didn’t mean to make you angry with me! I can’t stand you being angry with me. Please, don’t be, Bill. I’m sorry. I-I only wanted …’

Bill waited, but Charlie didn’t finish his sentence. Finally, he looked up. ‘Only wanted what?’ he asked. He sounded, to his own amazement, much rougher and furious than he was.

Charlie bit his lips and looked down, without answering.

Bill growled, strangely hurt and disappointed. ‘Okay, you’ve apologised. Fine. Apology accepted. Now, go away.’

He saw Charlie flinch, but the younger Weasley boy didn’t move.

‘I—I—’ he stammered.

Bill’s head snapped up. ‘What? I told you, it’s okay. Go away.’

Charlie looked up at Bill’s stern profile. ‘I … I only wanted to—to make you want …’ He didn’t finish that sentence either.

Bill started to feel angry now. So, as he’d thought. Charlie had been teasing him. Nothing more.

‘Well, you succeeded,’ he growled furiously. ‘I was hard, I came. Wonderful. Now, can you please leave me alone!’ He almost shouted the last words.

Charlie hung his head. ‘Me,’ he whispered.

‘What?’

The younger Weasley didn’t look up. ‘I wanted to make you want me,’ he repeated quietly.

Bill gaped at him. His head whirled. Charlie had wanted …? So he had said Bill’s name on purpose? Wanted Bill to hear it? But … but … They were brothers? Oh, and both men!

‘You … you …’ Bill stuttered.

Charlie nodded, head still bent, miserably.

‘Why?’ Bill gasped.

Charlie looked up, a crooked smile on his face. ‘Because I want you to,’ he said simply. ‘Thought that was obvious.’

Bill shook his head.

‘Why?’ he croaked again.

Charlie blinked, clearly surprised. ‘Why? Have you looked into the mirror lately?’ Charlie’s blue eyes wandered over Bill’s face, down his neck, over his shoulders, down, then came up again. Bill felt his cheeks heat. ‘Why?’ Charlie repeated, incredulously. ‘Bill, you’re … gorgeous. Hot. Sexy. Fuckable.’ He gestured helplessly.

Bill choked on a gasp. ‘Wha—?’ He tried to get his breath under control and to ignore his cock. The bastard was already half-hard and rapidly progressing to rock hard. ‘But … we’re both guys! And brothers,’ he added, almost in an afterthought.

Charlie shrugged. ‘No problem with the first, here.’ At Bill’s stare, he went on, ‘I know I fancy blokes. Have known for almost two years now.’

Bill stared some more. ‘Do … do … mum and dad?’

‘Do they know? No. Haven’t told them yet.’ Charlie shifted uncomfortably.

‘But … you sure?’

‘Yes. Absolutely sure.’ He grinned wryly. ‘Never thought about a girl when wanking. Always about blokes.’ He paused, then went on, slowly, deliberately, ‘You, since last Christmas.’

Bill choked again. Charlie eyed his face, red and strangely vulnerable, out of the corner of his eyes.

‘M-me?’ Bill finally managed.

Charlie nodded. At his brother’s absolutely stunned expression, he smiled softly. ‘You really have no idea, have you?’ he said.

Bill turned to look at him. His eyes were wide, looking somewhat shell-shocked. Charlie dared to reach out and put his hand on Bill’s knee. Bill looked down, and up again.

‘Huh?’

Charlie squeezed the knee. ‘Bill, almost every girl in Gryffindor, hell, in the whole school, fancies you rotten. I daresay there are even some Slytherin girls who’d kill to be your girlfriend.’

Bill snapped his mouth shut. He shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of an annoying insect. ‘But … why me?’

‘Why you?’ Charlie grinned, openly amused. ‘Well, let’s see: stellar student, Prefect, almost certainly to be the next Head Boy,’ he enumerated. His eyes looked deep into the dazed, hazel ones of his brother. Beautiful brown eyes, with a green shimmer and little golden sparks. ‘Tall, handsome, charming,’ he went on, voice low, ‘a bit rakish, but deep down so fucking nice.’ He shook his head. ‘They are all after you like the bees after the honey. You really didn’t know that?’

Bill opened his mouth, closed it, licked his lips, opened it again. ‘Not … not the Slytherins,’ he croaked, trying to joke.

Charlie laughed. ‘You really had absolutely no idea,’ he concluded.

Bill blushed and shook his head. ‘I … I was dating ... Holly,’ he said slowly, ‘for a time. Didn’t think … about others.’

‘As I said, you’re fucking nice, Bill.’

Bill looked at his brother. ‘Blokes too?’ he asked a little alarmed.

Charlie blinked, then laughed out loud. ‘Oh, yes, blokes too. I know of two definitely, and would bet on three more.’ He laughed again, delighted at his brother’s expression. ‘The two I know of came to me. They … they had heard about me fancying other blokes. They asked me if … well, if I knew if they’d have a chance with you.’

‘Who?’

Charlie shook his head. ‘Not telling. They’re nice blokes.’

Bill took several deep breaths. ‘And … the other three?’

Charlie cocked his head. ‘Why so curious?’ But he shrugged and went on, ‘Kenny Lyle, Auryn Duggan, Sebastian Selby.’

Bill stared. Duggan was a Slytherin from his year. He swallowed and promised himself he’d never, ever get into a fight with Duggan.

‘A-all right,’ he said slowly. ‘But … you? Me? We’re brothers!’

Charlie sobered instantly and looked down. ‘Yes.’

‘We … we can’t …’

Charlie’s head jerked up, eyes wide. ‘You would if I weren’t your brother?’ he gasped.

Bill flushed, looked away. ‘Dunno,’ he mumbled. ‘Perhaps.’

Charlie grabbed his knee again. ‘Bill!’

The older shook his head. ‘But we are brothers, so it’s moot.’

Charlie bit his lip. ‘Is it?’

‘Yes,’ Bill said forcefully. ‘It … it would be wrong. And—and you shouldn’t … want me.’

Charlie looked at him, his face very serious. ‘But I can’t help it. We can’t choose who we … want.’

Bill didn’t say anything and looked away from his brother’s blue eyes. It was only too true. He knew he shouldn’t and it was wrong but … All his reasoning didn’t make his cock any less hard, or his heartbeat any slower, and it didn’t stop the sudden urge to kiss Charlie. Bill clenched his fists and swore softly.

‘Bill.’ Charlie’s voice was almost a whisper. Bill didn’t turn. Charlie’s hand slid from Bill’s knee up his thigh. Bill sucked in a sharp breath.

‘Bill,’ Charlie said again, this time much closer to Bill’s ear. His hand had reached Bill’s crotch, and now, gently but surely, came to lie on the bulge in Bill’s trousers. ‘Bill, you want me too,’ whispered Charlie.

Bill shuddered, and then gasped out loud at the feeling of a hot tongue licking his ear. He jerked away, looking around frantically.

‘Charlie!’

Charlie’s grip on Bill’s erection tightened.

‘You want me,’ he said.

Bill groaned at the feeling, and for a moment closed his eyes and gave in. His last girlfriend, Holly – and the other two he had dated before – had never touched him like that. It felt wonderful, even through the cloth of his jeans.

But then Charlie’s hand moved, strongly and surely, and Bill remembered where he was and who was touching him, and he jerked away.

‘No,’ he panted. ‘We can’t!’

And then he grabbed his book and fled to the house.

Behind him he heard Charlie say, ‘You’re just to fucking nice!’

*