Fighting For My Love And Right

Every student he passed turned their head away, gave him pity looks or whispered with the one walking next to them. Harry wanted to shout at them or say something, but he was the only one that would suffer from that. So he walked in silence ignoring everyone around him, even his own classmates that greeted him politely.

He wanted to go down to the library and see if they had any interesting books that could get his mind off things around him, maybe something about dragons or even pixies.

After he entered the library and looked around he decided to go somewhere else, the library was packed with students, probably getting ready for their exams.

Maybe he should visit Hedwig, she was probably missing him, he hoped. At least she would not ask him stupid questions, and she always listened, even if he wasn’t sure she did know what he is talking about. She was like his own diary, knew every detail of most things that went on in his life and never told anyone.

Luckily for him most people ignored him, he had no problem ignoring them back either. So he got to the stairs with no problem, walking up happy with a smile on his lips, maybe this day wouldn’t be that bad after all.

When he reached the top of the stairs he had to duck two owls that were flying straight at him, they were in some sort of a hurry. He didn’t think about those owls much because just one second later someone walked straight into him and knocked him off his feet.

‘Sorry.’ He would recognize that voice everywhere, even if it was somehow lighter this time. Malfoy was standing there and looking down at him, not in the usual way, he wasn’t smirking or showing any sign that he was pleased, so maybe the apology was real? Harry didn’t think so, but at least it seamed like he meant it. When Malfoy’s eyes rested on his waist he knew the reason, he felt sorry for knocking over someone who was pregnant.

Harry didn’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing him down like that. He got himself up and stared at Malfoy, not saying anything at all. He wouldn’t accept the apology even if he wasn’t pregnant. Malfoy didn’t say anything else, his eyes switched between Harry’s face and his belly, it annoyed Harry. Without even telling him to move out of the way he barged past Malfoy. He didn’t turn around to see if Malfoy had left, he hoped nobody else would come while he was there.

Hedwig was sitting on his knee and watching him while he talked with her. It made him feel like she really listened and wanted to help him. He wondered how much she really understood. At one point he made a comment that she didn’t know anything he was talking about and why he even bothered telling her, and she pinched him. He changed his mind after that. She was probably smarter than he gave her credit for.

That hour in the owelry helped him a lot, he felt more relaxed and ready to face everyone else. He felt like he was ready for any kind of question and any kind of situation. His decision about the abortion wasn’t settled yet since he wanted to hear what others might think before deciding something permanently. But he was more for keeping it than getting rid of it. He just wouldn’t tell others yet; he wanted to see what they thought before making the announcement. He slowly walked down the stairs after saying good bye to Hedwig.

‘Harry, we have been looking for you all day, or since Pomfrey told us you had gone.’ Harry thought Hermione was back to her old self, hopefully it was permanent. He really hated it when she was acting almost like she didn’t care.

‘I was just talking to Hedwig.’

‘Okay. Are you fine Harry?’ Back to her old and to much worrying self.

‘Yes, why shouldn’t I be fine?’ It didn’t look like she wanted to answer but she made herself tell him anyway, she had promised.

‘Since the whole school knows about it and it will probably be in the Daily Prophet soon to. And not to mention Rita Sketcher will turn this all around and make it into a sick story that only the brainless wizards and witches would believe.’

‘I know I will have to deal with them, at least Voldemort is gone, and something good came out of it.’ She smiled, it felt like how it used to be, they only needed Ron and then they would be the same as before.

‘If you’re okay with it then let’s go down to the main hall, its lunch time and I’m starving.’ She made sure he would follow by locking her hands around his arm and dragging him with her.

‘Where is Ron?’

‘Talking with that Ravenclaw girl, he is thinking of breaking it off. If she has any brains she will know that he’s afraid of hurting her feelings and then maybe she will end it instead.’

‘Who is she anyway?’

‘Her name is Selena, two years younger than us, blond hair, glasses, always wears some sort magical protection on her. I swear, if I didn’t know Luna was an only child I would think it was her sister.’ Harry smiled while Hermione was going on about the girl Ron had been seeing. He didn’t care anymore about if they were seeing others, as long as they wouldn’t lie or hide it from him.

His mind stayed focused in the discussion till they entered the main hall, and there weren’t many students there, just great for him. Hermione sat down with her back against the other tables, giving Harry the opportunity to look at who might be sitting there.

Only one seemed to interest him more than others, Malfoy. He wasn’t alone but it didn’t seem like he was that interested in the two baboons sitting on both his sides. Harry had to remind himself to look away, if anyone caught him then he had no idea what they might think or say. Hermione had changed the conversation to the exams; she was talking about ingredients in different potions. Harry thought it was more for her sake than his, so he didn’t bother to listen. His eyes kept gliding over to the blond figure sitting between those bulls; he wondered what was up with him in the tower. While he was talking with Hedwig he had forgotten about it, he somehow managed to ignore it completely.

He sat there and studied the Malfoy that was eating in silence and he couldn’t help remember the look he had in the owlery. He wasn’t sure it was sadness since he had never seen him sad, or pity or anything else, caring wouldn’t assure him a place in the big Death Eater society. So what could it be?

Harry made eye contact with Malfoy just once, even if it was only for a second, it made Harry forget where he was, everything seemed to drift away from him. Hermione hadn’t noticed anything since she was studying her food while repeating everything she knew about runes.

Harry knew that everyone around him had changed, they were more cautious, even the Slytherin’s. But no one in the entire school had changed as much as Malfoy. It was probably because of the pregnancy that Malfoy said sorry, He was probably afraid that Harry would lose the baby from the fall and then he would probably feel responsible.

He couldn’t keep looking at Malfoy, someone would see him in the end and then the rumours would really be interesting. He made himself look at Hermione; she was still going on with the runes. Luckily for him Ron came back, looking rather pale. Hermione stopped talking and ran over to him.

‘Are you okay Ron? Look at me, say something.’ Her palms slapped Ron lightly to make him react.

‘She was cheating on me.’ Harry had never been in that kind of situation before so he had no idea what to say. Luckily for him Hermione broke the silence.

‘Don’t worry, she wasn’t that great, you said it your self. Always ignoring you and not wanting to meet you.’

‘Actually, I think the only reason she started hanging out with me was because of Harry, the new bloke she has is the captain of the Hufflepuff’s.’

‘So she is one of those types, any girl that can’t see what you really are doesn’t deserve you.’

‘Thanks Hermione. What is for lunch?’

‘You get over things quickly.’

‘Food is always better than depression, especially when you’re hungry. And best friends are better than any lying and cheating girl.’ Both Harry and Hermione laughed.

‘Don’t worry mate, you’ll find someone better than her.’

‘Actually, I do have someone on my mind.’ Harry could see Hermione flushing, Ron probably meant her since he was looking at her while saying it.

‘You should get something to eat, you hadn’t even had breakfast.’ Hermione hurried over to her seat and poured eggs and bacon on his plate before turning to her own to eat.

‘How are you Harry?’ For a while Harry thought he was invisible, Hermione and Ron were looking up at each other and then looking at their food quicker than Harry could open his mouth to comment on the strange behaviour.

‘I’m as good as you can expect.’

‘Have you decided on what to do with the baby?’

‘Not sure, I want to ask you two first.’

‘I don’t think you should take abortion.’ Hermione’s voice was harder than usual.

‘I agree. You shouldn’t. Even if you were raped, you need some good things, and a child is probably the best thing in life if you look away from the diaper changing and puking and all that stuff. And you have my whole family and Hermione to help you when you need something.’

‘And since Voldemort is dead I think it’s a nice thing.’ Hermione finished for Ron almost like they had talked over what to tell Harry if they ever got the question.

‘Now it makes sense.’

‘What?’ Both of them asked at the same time, smiling at each other before looking confused at Harry.

‘The first day I lay in the infirmary I woke up and heard Dumbledore, Pomfrey and Snape talk about me. Dumbledore mentioned that some pregnant women are stronger during their pregnancy, since the baby is protecting them. If I wasn’t pregnant I think I would have died that night with Voldemort.’

‘When mom was pregnant with George and Fred she survived a fall down the stairs that would normally kill her, do you think you have twins?’

‘Don’t be stupid Ron; it doesn’t have to be twins. It just has to be a baby that is really powerful. And Harry is a powerful wizard; if that wasn’t enough then maybe the one that raped him was also powerful. Combining that would be like adding more chocolate in the chocolate cake; it will be a lot of chocolate, if you understand me.’

‘You don’t think it may have been Voldemort?’ Harry couldn’t help himself not thinking about the possibility of that, Voldemort was a powerful wizard.

‘No Harry, you have been pregnant for two months and before you disappeared you had been at school all the time, Voldemort would have been too afraid to come near the school with Dumbledore here. When were talking about this, do you remember where you had fallen into that trance?’ He didn’t bother to ask why she wanted to know.

‘In my dorms, in class once, but that was a short one. And once I was flying with my broom, I fell into the lake and I think the squid might have helped me up because I was on land and wet when I woke up. Once I went out of class to the bathroom and found myself on the floor. That should be the times in the last three months that I can remember.’

‘I have read a little about what might have caused it, and I think it has something to do with Voldemort, all those times he had tortured you and gone into your mind. It has somehow done something to make you sleep or just be gone for sometimes one second or other times for hours. You have to go to Pomfrey and check it to be sure, and if I’m right then there is a potion you can take to get rid of it.’

‘So if he hadn’t tortured me all those times then I wouldn’t fall out like that and then become pregnant, and he would still live.’

‘Yes.’

‘He was never too bright in the moment, if he had killed me without spending so much time playing he would have taken over the world by now probably.’

‘Let’s be happy he was stupid then.’ Hermione laughed at Ron’s statement, Harry knew what was going on between them. He didn’t need to be smart or know everything to see that they were almost flirting, even if they tried to hide it. The reason for him noticing everything may have something to do with all the lies, he was watching out for any signs that could show any hidden information kept away from him.

‘Do you two want some time alone?’ He had to smile at them, both were blushing and looking down at their own food, Ron smiled a little while Hermione was blushing even more than him. ‘Don’t worry guys; if you two get together, I would think it would be great. But how is it between you and that Hufflepuff boy?’

‘He is too jealous, if I’m talking about some school stuff with a male teacher, he thinks were flirting.’

‘Meaning, you two had really gotten some crappy boy and girl friends.’ Hermione smiled, the blushing had worn off a little but not completely. Ron was stuffing himself with food so he only nodded.

‘I think I’ll go to the library, I seem to have forgotten something about the runes that I need to check up on.’ She grabbed her school bag and an apple before leaving them. Without noticing what he was doing Harry watched Malfoy rising up from his seat and walking out after Hermione with his two bodyguards on either side of him, Ron was giving his full attention to the plate in front of him to notice anything.

‘Are you and Hermione…?’ He didn’t rely know what to say but Ron probably understood. He only shook his head, and tried to open his mouth to say something but closed it when some crumbs kept falling out of it. He used five seconds to finish swallowing before taking a chance talking.

‘I don’t really know, we were afraid before that you wouldn’t like it so we ended it.’

‘You two belong together, she actually blushes more than you, which is hard to find.’

‘Only if she is thinking about something that is embarrassing, if not I blush more than she does.’

‘That is exactly why I mean you would be perfect, you know stuff about her that others wouldn’t even care about.’

‘Thanks to you I think that we will get together, maybe after the exams.’

‘Yeah, and I haven’t read anything for the exams yet, not that I care that much about it.’

‘Even if you get Troll on everything I think anyone would love to hire you.’ He had to agree, nobody would care how lousy grades he got, having The Chosen One working for them would be extremely profitable.

‘Lets go to Hermione after you have eaten and see if we need to repeat some of the stuff we should have learned by now.’

‘Just ten more minutes.’ The last thing he said before stuffing his face in the food again.

--**¤**--

‘You two should really start studying; you know that Herbology isn’t your strongest subject Ron.’

‘Yeah, but I don’t think I will learn everything I need to know in one day.’

‘You could at least try.’

‘I thin I’ll leave you two alone.’

‘You mean you won’t be here with me? That is unfair, why do I have to but not him?’

‘Don’t complain Ron, besides, he knows more than you do in Herbology.’ Ron sank down in his chair looking beaten. Hermione started to quote from a book that she had found. Harry was feeling rather sad that Ron had to stay there, but he couldn’t help that he cared enough to remember what they had gone through in class.

He went over to the section where he knew the potion books were placed; it was probably the worst exam he would have to face so he had to be prepared.

He turned the corner and almost walked into Malfoy once again, Malfoy was probably surprised because he lost all the books he was carrying. Since he hadn’t made any sort of stupid comments Harry bent down and started to gather the books that were spread around them, he felt kind of responsible. Malfoy was just standing there in the same position only looking at Harry; it was really strange he thought, that was not the way Malfoy would usually act.

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t walk so fast around corners.’ He handed the books over to Malfoy that slowly took them before walking around him and over to the section with the potion books.

He tried to look at the titles to find something that seemed interesting enough but none of them seemed to make any sense. Everything he could think about was Malfoy and the way he had been behaving lately. Why did he go up to the owelry? If he hadn’t gone up there he wouldn’t see that Malfoy was changed, he wouldn’t care. That “sorry” changed everything. He took one of the books out and started to go through it. He could at least try and read something.

‘Harry, are you okay?’ He turned around and noticed Hermione, Ron and a bunch of other students standing around him, what had happened? He realized that he had probably blacked out, this time he had fallen down and crashed into the book case, some books was spread around him. He was surprised that the next thing he thought about was the baby and if it was okay.

‘I need to see Pomfrey.’ Ron tried to stop him by taking his arm, Harry didn’t care for even telling him to let go, he just walked, Ron kind of understood and stepped out of his way.

Hermione tried to call him back when he stepped out of the library, but he barely heard her over his own thoughts. He didn’t bother turning around to see what she wanted. The only thing he could think of was the well being of his baby, even if he wasn’t sure he wanted to keep it.

‘Mr. Potter, how can I help you?’ Pomfrey was walking towards her office when he opened the door; she turned around and was looking like she was ready to put him to bed.

‘I blacked out.’

‘Yes, Miss Granger talked to me about that.’ Had Hermione gone and talked about him without asking him? How could she? He thought they would tell him everything, apparently he was wrong.

‘She mentioned there was a potion.’

‘Yes, but I’m afraid it takes two weeks to complete it.’

‘How long does an abortion potion take to make?’

‘Twelve days, thirteen if we don’t have all the right ingredients.’

‘Can you make both?’

‘Yes, of course. I’ll tell Severus to start on both of them, it may take one day longer since he will be working on two potions’ He didn’t care about how long it would take, he wasn’t sure he wanted the abortion potion either, but better to be prepared.

‘How would it be if I came later on and asked for the potion?’

‘You mean the abortion potion? We would have to buy it, I don’t think it would be the same quality as professor Snape’s but it would work.’

‘Do you have something for sleeping? I can’t sleep to well at night.’ It was true, he would wake up in the morning and feel tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping enough.

‘If you want you can have an energy boaster to, being pregnant is really hard on the body and drains most people, especially when the child is powerful.’ He wanted to tell her that he heard Dumbledore, Snape and her talking about him, but something seemed to stop him just when he opened his mouth. ‘Is there anything you want to say?’ She had seen his look, and even when he tried once more to say it, it just got stuck on the way up his throat. Maybe it wasn’t something he should tell her.

‘I.’ He had no idea what to say, he had to lie about it. ‘Do you think its right to take abortion?’

‘It’s your decision, my opinion shouldn’t count.’

‘It won’t affect my decision, just answer me.’

‘I don’t like it, but I’m not against it like many others may be. I had been with several girls that had been raped, most of them chose to keep the child, but those that had a hard time getting over the rape chose to abort it.’ That was pretty much what he thought earlier on, and since he couldn’t remember any rape he could keep the child without the bad memories.

‘Thanks.’ He turned and was ready to go.

‘I’ll contact you when the potions are ready.’ The doors opened and cold air hit his face, he had been sweating he realized, and he felt like he would throw up soon. Without knowing what was going on he fell forward, his hearing was gone and everything seemed lighter than usual, he closed his eyes and let the silence embrace him.